Welcome to the show. I relat your life's real. What about we four electrolytes was invented? And we were just like, oh, you know, hitting people with rocks and stuff.
Were we thirsty? Also, energy drinks. We didn't have them when I was a boy, and I was full of beans. I didn't have a Red Bull until I was like 35.
Really? I didn't drink coffee because I'm from Australia, so we had tea. Yeah. You like a kappa.
And that made a kappa tea? Tea doesn't have caffeine in it, does it? Yeah, it does. Yeah, what the hell you know, I was on caffeine since I was a little kid.
Yeah. But I felt like coffee really kicked in. You know what I'm saying? Drink coffee?
I love coffee. Because people were like, coffee. And I was like, it seems like everybody's pretty pumped on that. Coffee is like cocaine to me.
We're like, I could have it late and I still go to bed. Me too. It's the people freaking out that I have coffee at night. I'm like, we talking about it.
I could go on a tour. It has it too. Burbank, myself, Sam Tripp, please welcome to the show. We can drink coffee late at night.
Shout out to Black Rifle Coffee. The greatest coffee that America's ever made. Shout out to America, all the matter. Shout out to America.
And that intro is the best intro of all time. Right. I'm not shazz right now. Kind of goes downhill.
Just end up that call the day. Thanks for being on the show, man. Anytime dude, anytime. My funny, I have a buddy of mine.
I do private jujitsu with him. Yeah. My friend Chris and Riveus. And he, he was talking about how he has restless leg syndrome.
He's like, he's last night, his leg. He was trying to sleep his legs were just like, Oh, wow, his legs wake, keep him awake. Yeah, I go, did you have caffeine late? He goes, yeah, I go, that's the caffeine.
Like going through your bodies. So I'll get that one. Well, yeah, I'll get that one. Lately, bro.
I don't know what it is, but I've been sleeping like a baby. Yeah. I just go to bed, bang, wake up. I'm like, holy shit, that was great.
Yeah, I think that's pretty similar to me. My only complaint is I would like to sleep in more when I need to, when I can, and I don't. Yeah, so it's like a day off, I want to sleep till 11, and I always get up at nine. The only time I sleep is if I got a cold and I use an I quill, which is like, I got to watch it because I have an addict, where I'm like, you know what I can do every night?
And I'm like, you just don't. But boy, do I get a better sleep when I do some I quill. Oh, really? I've never done that.
Deep. I also like, when I was sick the other day, I did it in the middle of the day, because my girlfriend was working and my car was, it's gone to SEMA. And I was like, I don't have anything to do today. I'm out of tune, I call them watching Netflix.
And then I passed out on the couch and I woke up and I was like, oh, that was great. Good sleep. That was like two hours of just like, whatever. My body was like recovering.
And I'm like, I feel like less sore, because I'm always sore, because I'm always like lifting weights or punching people, like people are like, you're working. And then I'm old. I get it. So like that is like, I told you before the show started.
I slammed so hard the other day. It was like three days ago now, where I should have just hit them. You know what? It's good for a child to be hit by.
Learn some lessons. Get out of the way. Yeah, you know what? Get out of the way means.
Oh, you don't? Well, then it has has 225 pounds of 54 year old asshole ripping through your head. That's the biggest, hardest part about racing kids right now is not doing it for them. No.
Dude, let me tell you. I mean, sometimes a nice spank would go a long way, but they're too cute. I can't hit it. Yeah, I get you.
You can't do it. I just go to your room. No, I pick them up. Bang.
Shut the door. No. The youth. They do that all.
No. No. Because they know you're not going to hit them. Somebody gave them info and they're like, they're never going to hit you.
Yeah. Yeah. I know. Yeah, because when I was a boy, you don't say no.
You get cracked. Yeah, 100%. I got whipped. Hard.
But also looking back, that was not fair. Yeah, I don't think you should hit kids. But I think you got to run psychological operations on them. Yeah.
You got to play mind games with consequences. There needs to be consequences. That's what I was with. My baby mumber and her family, they were like, they're good people.
And they did stuff where I was like, right, I'll copy that. Yeah, I'll do that. You guys have consequences. And it's like, you know, because like you said, they're very cute.
And it's like, well, maybe lay off on the consequence. I'm like, got to stick to it. The threat was, if you do that, you will have a consequence. And the consequence will go back for the entire time that it was promised.
Yeah. Hey, I'm trying to teach my daughter to read. She's like so smart and she just doesn't care about reading. And it's like, I'm trying to teach her to read when I can barely read myself.
We're sounding out words together. Yeah. When it was my time to read a book to the kids when they were little, I would tell them a story that I read a book. No, I respect that.
No, they liked it. Because it was always dark. It was always like, you know, because I'd be like, you know, the carrot, you know, I was talking to the rabbit or the cucumber or whatever. It was always like, you know, the other post was having a conversation with the cookie.
You know, and they wanted to cross the street. It's food and darkness. It was always like that. But it was always like, can I give me a ride?
It was like, yeah, I'll give you a ride. And then he gave him a ride. And then he turned around and ate him and drowned him. Every time.
I say, into the story. And my daughter would always be like, why does it always have to end? Everybody dies. And I get it.
You can't die. We live in a crazy world. You know, you got to watch it. Don't write an octopus across the river.
That's a stupid idea. But I'm afraid of octopuses. I'm afraid of these. Do you think they're aliens?
Yeah. Because I'm we're going straight into it. Is it a conspiracy theory? Because I've made I thought this a long time ago when I had a serious show that octopuses are aliens.
I don't know. I like it's very weird because I might just be like wobbly dogs. But they could be wobbly dogs. I don't believe in aliens.
I've yet to be proven that aliens exist. I think they're angels and demons. This cat named Alsar Crowley. Have you ever heard Alsar Crowley?
He's like, he's like this dark figure from way back in the day that the elites all worship his way. He's a real person. Yeah, he lived away a long time ago. And he was all into the he was like pushing all the dark arts that is like everywhere now.
And he talked about there will be a time when he called it when the when the sky is burning and he basically made references to trans. Right. Is that photos of him? Yeah, that's yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Now you want to see some? OK, we'll get some really weird after this.
That's bad. Oh, dude. He was famous for like he was all about the botry. So, you know, so like he would he would bang chicks multiple chicks.
Why he played chess with people. OK. So he said that when the sky is burning and he basically alluded to I forget the exact same thing, he said when there's trans everywhere. He brought up trans before.
Yeah, it was like it was like women or women or something like that. Some weird saying. He said, but he basically said that angels and demons will come back and they'll be called a different name. And he was alluding to basically aliens.
Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
So you want to see something really crazy? Yeah. Put Elsa Crowley, Barbara Bush. And look that up.
So my whole theory is, dude, that these these elites go to these eyes wide shut parties, right? And they all just bang each other's chick. And who if one gets pregnant and it's not yours, you got raised a kid. That's real.
Yeah. So that's Barbara Bush. That's Alster Crowley right there. Bruh.
Yeah, dude. Yeah. Wait, he banged her mother. Yeah.
That's what people are saying because they all do that because none of these kids look like their parents. Like everyone loves Princess Di. None of her kids look like King Charles. They all look like one looks like the like their horse trainer.
Another one looks like another guy and it's like really great. My kids look like me. Yeah. And their mother.
Yeah. You can see it. Yeah. My kids look like their mom.
What do you want me to know what's crazy is when they get older, they'll switch. Oh, yeah, as I get older, kind of get older. His son looked more like her mother than really used to be. Everyone was like, dude, that's your kid straight up.
And now people like, wow, I see Andrea in her life. So do you think it's because she had red hair that you thought she looked more like you? I know I think she had like the similar eyes to me kind of. But maybe the red hair because I mean, I'm not a red head.
Where's your red head when you had hair? Where you belong? I was blonde. OK.
And then when I got older and had a beard because I didn't grow up facial hair until I was like 30. What do you mean, growing like shaving? No, I couldn't. Oh, really?
Yeah, I was like a baby man. You were a beard guy late in your life. Yeah, I got a hairy chest like in my 40s. Really?
Yeah, that's crazy. Dude, I started to get hair in my back like a year ago. I got my back. Shave.
Cool. That man, if I wasn't my gay Asians, what? They shave my back. These are gations.
Gations. Right. They do that back. So I get like the whole work, too.
You can get the I do it. I'm like, you know, oh, you got the backs. Yeah, but now I have a girlfriend that's like backshave or 5,000. Yeah, I think I love to shave my back.
But occasionally she's not available. So I would say my girlfriend loves it. But it's team. It's team effort.
You know, it's work. My back's pretty butt slick. I feel like I can take on the world. Yeah.
And if I take on the world, then I'll probably buy you a new car some day. Yeah, 100% spread the wealth. That's what's up. Give it away.
We work together as a team together as a team. It cannot be divided and we cannot be destroyed. Yeah, and there's this weird thing about the relationship between men and women that somehow feminists have demonized femininity. So everything's about trying to do what guys do.
And reality, it's like you're supposed to work. There's no alpha, there's no beta, there's just working together. Yeah, you can't throw a bull yet. So, you know, shut up.
Well, you know, it's so funny because they always say, you throw like a girl, right? I mean, that's the thing. Because we never talk girls how to throw. It's kind of like MMA, right?
Like when MMA, female MMA fighters first came in, they were fighting like girls because they were just kind of picking up. Now these girls are like starting at three and you see that Chinese chick who I'm like, whoa, this girl moves like a dude. It's the same as skateboarding. When I was in my prime, there was like two female skateboarders that were pro and they sucked.
But it was like, yeah, pretty good for girls. Now there's a fleet. There's like 30 chicks that are shredding. It's like female comics.
They were never, society never incurs them to be funny. And then suddenly it became a thing. And now they're like, I always say female comics are like white athletes, right? Like the ones that are great are absolute legends.
And then there's a lot of like, well, we're doing our best, right? And it's not that women can't be funny. It's just social programming men tend to want to be funny because in high school, they're either not the jock or they're not the that and they need, or they don't want to get their asses kicked. So they become funny.
It's a way to get attention for people. And when I had practiced before they knew it was gonna be first, yes. When I was in high school, I never, I had a girlfriend for two weekends. And I remember all the girls would be like, if I didn't know you, I thought you were retarded.
And like, so it was never attractive. And then I got to college and it was like chaos. But when a girl realizes she's pretty and beautiful, like the world bends over backwards for them. So there's no real need to develop any other skills because everyone just wants to make them super comfortable.
So the funny women tend to come from what I call all beauty. They're attracted, but in an alternative kind of way, it's not your traditional or they're lesbian, right? So they need to get attention somehow. So they have to develop that comedy, that humor, like someone like Fortune who like Finster, who's like the funniest person I know, she's a crusher, but because she wasn't the traditional beauty, she had to develop that muscle.
But once when you meet a girl that is hot now and wasn't hot in school, not only is she hot, but she has like character and is like a person. I just did comics on leash and Brittany Schmidt was on it. And that girl is a dime piece. And she's, she told the craziest story, dude, you wanna hear the story?
She told her dad when she was three years old, was at a bar and this guy comes up and hits on him and grabs his crotch and he throat punches him, right? Two weeks later they're watching the news and someone goes, hey dude, that's the guy you punched in the neck. You know who it was? Jeffrey Dahmer.
Oh, wow. Isn't that crazy? That is wow. You know, that was gonna go over that so much more entertaining than you did that.
He was gonna eat her dad. Yeah. And her dad was almost a sandwich. Yeah dude, it's real crazy.
Right? Not shot though. But she's funny dude. And she did a show with me when I was in Texas.
She's shiny, bro. You look at her, like, she was a dancer. Like of the, you know, poll type. Oh, good for her.
I would've gave her dollars. She's just one of those who you see her, your monkey and he starts up. Oh, that's crazy. I came out of a club in Melbourne, Australia.
And I had two girls on either side. This guy said something to me and I was like, whatever. And he punched me in the face. And I was like, really good?
And then the cop showed up. And I didn't do anything. I was like, before I even got a chance to be angry. I was like, did you just punch me in the face?
That was weird. And then the next weekend, it was on the news guy at the front of that club. Got punched in the face. Fell in the ground and he's head on the curb and died.
Oh my God. And it was like a real like street fighting is not worth it moment for me. Wow. I was like, you almost threw down.
Yeah, you could fall here. I remember one time I was at the Loyo comedy store and I was doing stand up and I'm on stage and these two couples sat down and these two chicks were drunk and they just started heckling me and I wish I would have filmed. And my camera was rolling, but I don't know why I didn't grab the footage because we didn't do that back that day, right? You were kind of just you wanted to just watch or set, you didn't cut it up and put it on the internet.
But I systematically annihilated like it was like it was, like a Ted talk and how to kill hecklers. And I go at her. She doesn't shut up. I go at her again.
She doesn't shut up. And I turn the crowd on her and they like the crowd demands she gets kicked out. So anyways, I kick her out. My friend, Brett earns his up.
He's like, hey, do watch out there. They're a little aggro back. I go, I don't give a shit. So I go in the back at the time, right in the middle of the La Jolla Comedy Sword lobby was like this weird kind of foosball game.
So I'm sitting on the foosball game with one of the door guys. We're just talking. I see the guy who's with the chick come into the lobby and I'm like, oh, there's this guy. And he walks up to me and I go, I think he's going to apologize.
He goes, hey dude, were you the guy on stage? I go, yeah, he just smacks the shit out of me. And I had that moment with like you just had go, hey, did you just hit me? But they're in the history of time, came out of nowhere and we just beat the shit out of this guy.
So we're pulling him out. His friends trying to pull his friends trying to fight. We beat the shit out of him. We pull him out.
The guy's leg is like stuck in the door because they had like this door that was kind of like had his thing in the door into the floor where you couldn't open it. And dude, this guy, he's a still friend of mine. We call him Bigfoot because he's got these giant feet. And he's just soccer kicking this dude.
Well, well, they kick him out. They walked out of the street. We would watch these guys screaming at these girls because they got him in trouble. She's like, I work for the city council.
I'm like, well, you're about to have a fucking discussion about getting your boyfriend's ass kicked. And but it was that moment where I got hit and you're more, it didn't hurt. It was just like, oh shit, you hit me dude. That's crazy to me.
Yeah, it's really funny and sketchy. Let's talk about God again. I'm into God. I'm into your cat.
He's a God. He's the hottest working cat in showbiz. I love this cat. I don't know if you notice, but he realized we were doing another show and he immediately was like, I need to be left put in immediately.
This is his thing. It's so funny. Joe Rogan's dog has like hundreds of thousands of followers on Instagram. I'm like, that dog could tour.
Yeah. Like Joe could just do a show where his dog walks out of the stage and people go nuts. Yeah, I don't know why he said that. It doesn't make me feel good about my life at all.
It doesn't make me feel bad about my life at all. I was going back to aliens. Yeah, aliens are the dick. Because I believe that there is a demon and an angel.
Because I've told to them. Yes, I have. I believe in all experience where I was praying and learning how to pray because I was like, yeah, I'm like pretty anti because of what my childhood I was like. No, I'm the God, you know, because religion's like been pitched to me is this guy and he like hooks you up or he doesn't hook you up and I'm like, well fuck that guy because he did not hook me up.
I'm bitter. So I'm going to deny him. That was hard for me to like pray and stuff. But then I like split it up and there was like a time where I was in a church at a meeting and it said on the wall, God is love.
And I was like, oh, God is love. Yes. I'm like, if God is love, I can pray to love. I believe in love.
So then I was like praying now. And then one day I'm going to Tony's escape. And I was like, you know, it's still pretty hairy when you're old and you're skating. And I knew I was going to go for it a little hard that day.
So I prayed in the morning in the backyard. And I was like, God, I don't usually ask for stuff for myself. But then that's not really cool. But you just keep me safe.
Today, that would be much appreciated. And it's like, what are you doing? He loves it. Here's the thing about God that everybody comes into.
Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to touch it. I got to do the story real quick. Sorry.
I got to keep me safe. Then I got the ramp and I get knocked out bad, like real bad. I wake up and Tony's like, hey, man, you know where you are. And I'm like, man, I met the ramp.
I got knocked down. And he's like, just so you know, for the last 15 minutes, it's not what you were saying. And I was like, oh, wow. He's like, you were out out.
And I'm like, OK. And he's like, we wait for a couple hours. He's like, you're good to go home. I'm like, OK, no podcast dude.
Like you were out. There's not recording to it. I was like, OK, I get in my car and a voice in my head says, kill yourself. And I've had like, like I said earlier, I've had like 35 in cash, like out outs.
And I was like, I know this gets dark when you hit your head. So it's OK. This voice tells me for three hours on the way home. Kill yourself all the way back to the valley.
I get home and buy myself a voice just keeps saying it. I'm like, dude, this is not cool. I know it's not real, but this is not cool. Yeah, I'm in bed ready to go to sleep.
It says it again. I'm like, stop, dude. I go to sleep and wake up in the morning. And the voice goes, hey, man, you're OK.
You had to seek some food, rest. It was a good shot. And I was like, wait, that's the complete opposite voice to the other voice from yesterday. That's God.
And the other one is the devil. Yeah. And then I'm like, all the times that other voice was like, you should smoke it. You know me?
And I was like, oh, I've been listening for that one the whole time. But I can't decide. I can't. And then I realized from then on.
And when I pray, the good voice, I know who it is. And because now I know the dark voice barely ever says anything because it knows when it talks. I laugh at it. Like, you should fuck her.
And I'm like, yeah, you should fuck her. I love that, dude. It has been saved ever since, dude. I love that.
So crazy. Most of the most of the problems people have with God are the actions of man of a man. Yeah. And it's like they pitched it to me in a way where I was like, that's not you can't say, oh, you're we're cool, but they're not.
I'm like, that's not love. Yeah. You can't say you're a bad person because you're not your person. I have my podcast.
They're a podcast called outside minds podcast. And they said something that I'd always been thinking about. I couldn't crystallize the words. And they said it.
I'm like, that's it, dude. You know what it was? It was the key to life is aligning your free will with God's plan because everything in our in our world is instant gratification and instant gratification tends to be low vibrational. And you know, you know, when you were on Kill Tony, I texted you this and you said the whole thing about, no, dude, I have a sex addiction.
You know that line, dude, that hit me like a ton of bricks. And I had to text you because that's the most real shit I've ever heard in my life. And it's the same thing. Like all these addictions I have is all about instant gratification.
None of it is about long term put in the work, get got to go through it to get to it. And everything is like, you know, this only fan shit. Like I've been trying to tell people it's like, dude, this is this is low vibrational shit. You're just taking a quick fix for a buck.
Most of you guys aren't even making money drugs. If you study alcohol, what they call alcohol, dude, spirits. They call it spirits. It's a reason why because you're letting your once the more drunk you get, the more your resistance to darkness is, and they step in and do this new weed is like Frankenstein, retched, you know, weapon, great shit.
Oh, it's nothing. It's mind and speed. We both had a problem with speed. Speed is straight up to devil, dude.
Dude, you were the one that said to me the low vibration with the because I was not only fans, I was doing all that stuff because I was heavily addicted to always having sex and it's the curse really that I was in a group of people where I could have sex with anybody all the time. So I just kept doing it. And I remember you telling me you were like, look, dude, maybe it doesn't come back like straight away, but like you're staying in that low vibration. You're going to it's not going to help any thinking.
I was like, you said it more than once. We'd had more than one phone call about it, but there was one where I was like, that's it. You are right. I now officially believe what you're saying and I'm out and I quit.
Like it also two things happen to me in an only fans filming thing where I was like, okay, this is this is as dark. Like I can't even say it like the story. I can't say it in a way where it would be not demonetized, even though it doesn't really know I get to it was the darkest stuff I've ever seen in my life. And I was like, I cannot be a pilot anymore.
And I remember my fear was the money I was making was paying the rent and I was really broke. And I was like, without that money, I might like I've got too many dogs to live in an apartment. Like it was a real crossroads where I was like, you're going to sink your ship, dude. You're going to be like homeless almost.
Like I was that worried. But I was like, I can't keep living like this. Yes. And I quit it and the money disappeared.
And I was like, I had this feeling. I was like, it's going to immediately turn around where comedy or a sponsor shows up and saves the day. That did not happen. Yes.
I lost $9,000 a month and did not gain any thousands of dollars a month for a long time. But then just like when you're saying it's like the work that you do, you know, like, you know, like I don't want to sleep with a bunch of people. I don't want to do drugs anymore. And it's like all this work that I had to do.
And it's like, Oh man. So you just do the work and everything's okay. It's the worst time. It's so hard because when you've run your whole life, it all comes rushing to you when you get sober, all the mistakes, all the people you've heard, all the roads that you've gone down that led you to this come flooding into your face.
And you're like, Oh, and old you goes, you know what would fix this? Get high. Come on, somebody. And I'm like, but that's the problem.
Yeah. So then you're just stuck there frying it. Yes. But it worked the burn sitting there every day by myself burning in this huge mistake that I've made and no coming back from it except sitting in it and facing it.
Yes. Until that's where the beauty is because at one point, I don't know when or how long it took to all the blood of me. But at one point, I was like, it doesn't matter how bad it is. Yeah, I'm okay.
It's still I don't need to run. It's still better. Yeah, because you have a chance. And now things did come around.
You know, I'm friends with like black rifle guys at boonies. I got like some sponsors. The podcast people seem to really like the new podcast with me talking about sobriety and all that stuff and comedy is I'm on the road. I'm making money.
You're a national headliner. I just got past in development at the commies. So last night, baby, boom. What's up?
You they need you. I'm going to talk to them. They need you. They ever remind me of the old days.
That's what we need. We need we need chaos. We need the old days when it was when the commies were made its name was the wild things roamed and it's like it's just it's the nature of everything. When was this?
Well, I got picked up in 2000. I got picked up in your 1999. What was the old days? The old days it was wild.
The Joe EDS is the Brian Holtzman's. They there were there were outlaws. Do you? And comedy came from outlaws.
Everything starts outlaw MMA, you know, boxing. It was all outlaws shit. And then once the money comes, the bean counters and the nerds come in and they go out there and they change it to help them thrive. Because we live in a world where people people, people on a world that plays their strengths and outlaws their weaknesses, right?
Yeah. So so people like to get out the people that make them want to have. It's why people hate conspiracies because it causes it causes them to have to think about things they don't want to think about. And it's just like you just see, you know, when comedy central just went to shit, it's because they stop listening to their audience.
They stop. They stop focusing on the artists and they just want to make things that make them feel better. There was a time when you couldn't tell the difference between the artists and the industry, they look like the same exact person. So it's a famous story where somebody, somebody talked, someone was talking to David Lee Roth and they're like, why, why, why does the industry love Elvis Castell?
And this is not against Elvis Castell. I love Elvis Castell. But they go, why does the industry love Elvis Castell and hate Van Halen? And David Lee Roth is like, because they look like Elvis Castell.
Oh, right. You had those Judd Apatow movies where all the nerds were hooking up with tens and they were like kind of social program us. And this is the where we live in where nerds can get tens and shit. Right.
And it's like kind of what is happening. Yeah. Well, it's what has happened. Well, dude, I mean, the world, it's all changing.
It's the best time to be in. We're kind of in what I call our wedding singer version of comedy right now, where, you know, like it's really simple stuff. It's, you know, most of the guy, a lot of these young comics and listen, these young comics right now, they are way better writers in my generation. They're very, they're very tight with their jokes.
They have no wasted time. But I know everybody's act as they walk to the stage. It's why I love you is because yeah, you got tattoos all over the place, but you're like, what the fuck is this guy going to talk about? And then you get into this, this really authentic view of the world.
And that's what people need, dude. And we need to get back to dangerous. We need to get back to provocative. There's nothing's provided.
That's why Hollywood lost everybody. They got away from provocative and it was all about being safe and pushing this. Well, it's like they're all pushing this, this like safe thing. Well, in their private lives being as sketchy as humanly possible.
100%. It's not authentic. And that's why they always put people on the planet. Yeah.
So, so like people like me and you, like, you know, when I first started at doing stand up in Vegas, like everybody wanted to be Jerry Seinfeld. And I was never that guy. So I was going up and talking about all the debaucher shit I was getting into. And then I go to the comedy store and, you know, there's Brian Holzman, who's crazy.
Rogan was, was doing, pushing it obviously. And then like me and Joey Diaz were just going up there and just giving away all of our secrets, right? And why everybody's still trying to be Jerry Seinfeld, observational, clean, safe shit. And now when you look at the podcast game, you look at like the podcast game is about how real can you get on how real can you be?
How? And now you're starting to see that more and more in comedy, but these young kids are so traumatized by cancel culture that they just want to keep it safe. Cause they're trying to worship an altar that is dying. Like they still want to do the tonight show and I've nothing against Jimmy Fallon.
He's never done anything to me. But, you know, it's like you do a, you do a podcast, you know, you can get a lot more followers now than you can from doing the tonight show. But that used to be the game. And it's very interesting because, um, you know, there's always these people who want to, who want to change the system, right?
And I don't think you can change the system. I think the way you change the system is by beating the system. Okay. And why every, and all, you know, it's like when I talk to you about my, my sober journey and then you, you start working on your sober journey and then you talk to your fans about your sober journey and then maybe somebody listens to it and they start like changing their lives and then someone sees them changing and then they, and then it has this kind of ripple effect in comedy.
When I start comedy, the game was get a clean set, get onto the night show, get on a sitcom, get on a movie. And if you couldn't do any of that, goodbye, you were done, you were on cruise ships, you were playing like some small town in the middle of nowhere. And then then Dane Cook comes with my space and everyone goes, Oh, whoa, this is a new way to try to make it, try to get as many followers as you can. So I go and start doing my space.
There was Jordy Fox in my space and he was kind of the kingmaker at the time and he would make you, if he featured you as the comic, you would be, you'd suddenly get some heat going, but then everybody started doing that. And then all of a sudden, desk wad comes and it's like Joe Rogan and Red Band and suddenly all these funny guys aren't doing comedy for the industry. They're doing comedy that they really want to talk about, right? So then everyone's like, Holy fuck, I got to do that.
Then that becomes the way and then Andrew Scholz comes, right? And he's like, I'm going to fill my set and I'm going to put out these jokes. And then boom, that starts happening. And now now we're in a different phase where like the old way of doing it really doesn't exist anymore.
So how do you beat this? How do you change system? You got to beat it. You got to show people how to beat it and by everyone beating the system, the system adapts to the new way of doing it until it catches on and devouces it.
And then it gets changed. You make it another one. Yeah. I don't know what the next phase is.
I don't know, but right now, brother, we're in our greatest time to be a comic. It may not seem like that while you, you know, we've had conversations about Instagram and stuff like that and the thumb that they have on there. But like I just sold a movie. Who knows if it will get made, but like you're going to see the film industry completely change.
It's going from very big, like production movies. Those are dying. Nobody's going. So now it's going to move to indie films.
So like you have a crazy story to tell. Turn that into a fucking movie, dude. Pitch it to people. That's a documentary coming down the 17th.
It's pretty gnarly. That's great. Dude, maybe that could tell you. The more honest you are, the more people of it.
I always say this. I always say this. The last great TV show about a family was Breaking Bad. Breaking Bad was the last great and why did everybody relate to that?
Because they're that was their family, dude. They're dad shady. Their mom's banging somebody else. Their brother's a little off.
They, you know, we're just trying to survive. Everyone relates to that. Well, my family's sketch. Yeah, dude.
It's kind of funny because it's the real world. There were some incredibly sketchy people involved, but then there was some innocence. There was the people that were doing what, you know, like the best they can. Yeah.
And then there was just like a demon running through them who who who who made me. And then I was like, I'm just, I'm just like a natural demon because this is all I know. And then I get older and wiser and have children and go, wait a minute. Am I a demon?
I don't want to be a demon. I want to hurt people and then slowly but surely cutting that out. And when I say slowly, but surely, I mean slowly. Yeah.
Like real slow. It takes time. David, it's like a lot of time. One of the best thing I've ever heard from an old sponsor I had was like, oh, you're not a bad puppy.
You're a sick puppy, you know, and there's a big difference. Yeah. And like you just got to understand what makes you sick and how to work on that. And it's like, I just had a great conversation with a good friend of mine, not like I say his name, but he's recently sober.
And it was just like, I'm like, you're going to realize like it's so much easier to be sober. Doing drugs is hard. You have to do drugs, direct your life. You got to lie to everybody.
You got to hide it. You're chasing your next fix. So I wake up every morning with this little thought and back and it's sometimes very instant, but it's like, um, sober today feels great to get to work now now because my life is so full, I wake up in the houses on fire and I got started putting out fires real quick. So a whole different kind of problems show up, but they're good problems, right?
You might want to my girlfriend sober and when she struggles with stuff, sometimes by hanging out with her older friends and coming back when I talk to her about what's important and help her work through it, I find like, as it's coming out of my mouth, I'm like, dude, you have really done some work. Like what you're saying is spot on and you're making her feel better and it's making you feel better and it's making you realize that sometimes you're like, man, is this worth it? Like, you know, like maybe, you know, like people, somebody said the other day, like, man, I liked you better when you were using the show was way better. I'm a huge fan though.
And I was like, wow, that is the worst thing you could say to a guy that has been putting all that work in. And I'm not even sure it's so evil that I don't even believe that you're a huge fan, but maybe you are. It could be purely accidental that you're that much of a prick. And that but that's, you know, I have to, I was like, look, you live with you.
I got to live with me. And if I turn that back on, I can't face myself anymore. And I don't think any of us realize the lies that we tell little big, whatever, like the honesty that I walk around with now is is I never knew it would be possible because I never knew how much I lied. Not just at you, me.
Like I was in denial of so many little things where I was like, oh, that's hard to accept. I'm just going to go with I could have won, you know, where it's like, no, you lost straight up again. If you did it again, you lose again. face it.
Own it. It's okay to lose. Like just get back up. It's okay to lose.
It's not. It's not really. I try to tell this to new, new, newly sober things, newly sober people is it's, it's not about the results. It's about the process and knocking loss and results.
And so the other day, you know, I was, you know, like Kill Tony drop last night. And it's very funny by the way. I made a mistake of like looking at some of the comments and people like, who, who's this? And who are these guys that I go, you know, because I used to look at like comments on the internet, like hecklers and I would try to smash them.
And then I realized that's what they want. And, you know, so this guy says, who's that? And I'm like, Oh, we're the two guys that spit roast your mother. And that's who enjoyed a shell.
He's like, Oh, clover comeback. You just want Tony to make you fucking famous. And then I just. It's so fucking funny.
And then I just got into it. Special trail right there. That is your textbook basic thing to say. Yeah, but I go listen, dude, I get it.
And you're not happy with your life. Cause when that guy says that to you, it's because he's not happy with me. And you make you crazy, Jason, makes him happy and it makes him feel normal. That somebody else is more out-controlled than he is.
And reality, he would rather be where you are right now than where he is right now. Well, that's the great thing about being a wrecking beanback is I know what both feel like and I don't have to lie about it. Like, you know what? Maybe you got a point.
No, dude, I remember I had whatever you would think is supposed to be everything. And I was not happy like where there were many times where I remember going, I don't know why I'm here. And I don't know what the point is anymore. And I had your money, your fame, your wind, like you want to come on people, you know, anything you want.
You know, like I got stories where you like, man, that's pretty much all you would want. Right? Yeah, no, it's not. I don't want it.