Are You Doing The Spaghetti Approach To Healing? episode artwork

EPISODE · Jun 28, 2023 · 14 MIN

Are You Doing The Spaghetti Approach To Healing?

from Heal Your Codependency with Marshall Burtcher · host Marshall Burtcher

Are You Doing The Spaghetti Approach To Healing?I call it: the spaghetti-healing approachThis is where you try out a series of random tools in hopes something sticks (or works).  I did this for nearly 8 years of my healing journey, causing myself deep pain, anguish, fear, and frustration.  I often wondered if something was wrong with me because these tools weren't doing anything for the pain, anxiety, shame, guilt, or trauma I was living with.But a part of me was sensing that it wasn't me, and it wasn't the tools.  This is when I learned about having the right tools in the right order at the right time. You see, emotional healing requires certain conditions to exist within the person's mental and somatic/body realms to work.First priority is always safety, specifically, feeling safe enough to actually access, process, and integrate the energy and sensations of what one has lived through. When I introduced this into my own healing work, I experienced a sudden reduction in resistance to healing and changing, and started noticing my pain was reducing and staying in that reduced state as I used other tools in combination with nurturing that sense of safety.The second priority is curiosity, namely, curiosity about what you're discovering during and after processing.  This step helped me eliminate the habit of outcome seeking and, instead, connect with what was really happening for me as I processed. The third priority is inquiry. Generally, we are made up of an internal family of selves, often called "parts".  I refer to them as Aspects Of Self, as they comprise our sense of self.  Actual healing depends on knowing what the aspects of self-involved need and want.  Learning how to ask them, hear them, and communicate with them is key to long-lasting reduction and resolution of any persistent emotional pain.Fourth is care (sounds strange, right?)  Care comes in play here because you'll know what is needed and what is happening.  This way, your care has precision, meaning it creates the impact that you actually need. These four priorities create the structure that I use in all of my work to facilitate safe, resilient healing and change for students.This is what you'll master in the Actually Heal Trainings that start July 9th!Ready to experience real healing for yourself?Come join us for eight weeks of training and practice in nurturing your healing, and then ongoing practice support beyond the classes themselves.  This is all happening in the Actually Heal Trainings.We start July 9th.  Enrollment closes July 7th.Enroll by getting your membership for the special Eggs-Are-Expensive Rate of $75 a month, $797 a year, or $1500 Lifetime Access (Rates return to the normal $125 a month, $997 a year, $2000 lifetime July 10th, 2023).Only 50 people will be admitted this round (next round is in December for this course).  45 seats remain as of today, June 27th. Get the details and enroll here: https://membership.freetheself.com

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Are You Doing The Spaghetti Approach To Healing? I call it: the spaghetti-healing approach This is where you try out a series of random tools in hopes something sticks (or works). I did this for nearly 8 years of my healing journey, causing myself deep pain, anguish, fear, and frustration. I often wondered if something was wrong with me because these tools weren't doing anything for the pain, anxiety, shame, guilt, or trauma I was living with. But a part of me was sensing t...

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