Are You Loving Someone or Controlling Them?

What does codependency actually look like — and how is it just as powerful as addiction? In this episode, Tanya sits down with Dr. Sarah Michaud, clinical psychologist, author, and 40-year sobriety veteran, to unpack the real roots of codependency. Dr. Sarah brings her trademark wit and warmth to some deep territory: why caregiving can become controlling, how childhood fear drives adult behavior, and why putting down a substance doesn't automatically heal your relationships. Whether you're in recovery, love someone who is, or just keep finding yourself twisted into a pretzel trying to manage everyone else's feelings — this one's for you.Key Talking PointsCodependency defined: focusing on others' thoughts, feelings, and behaviors at the expense of your own — driven by fear, not kindnessWhy caregiving crosses into codependency: when helpfulness is really about managing your own anxietyThe co-addict and the addict share the same underlying wound — inability to sit with their own feelingsChildhood survival behaviors that don't translate to adult relationships (the angry dad, the dinner table moment)Elizabeth Gilbert's City of Girls insight: "I can drink people like alcohol" — love addiction as a real and recognizable patternGabor Maté's When the Body Says No — the physical cost of chronically dismissing your own needsThe pyramid of emotion: rage → anger → sadness → fear → powerlessness — and where faith entersHow to tell the difference between genuine love and codependent behavior: one is unfolding, the other is urgentThe shame spiral and how to meet it with compassion: "You're doing exactly what you were trained to do"Unrealistic expectations: it's not unreasonable to want a mother — it is unrealistic if she's an active alcoholicTools for recovery: pause-pray-proceed, identify your activation, find the earliest fear memory, practice speaking up in low-stakes situations, name what's happening out loudAction step: carve out even 30 minutes a day for yourself — nothing is a 911, even when codependency tells you it isResources & LinksDr. Sarah Michaud's website: https://drsarahmichaud.com/Co-Crazy: One Psychologist's Journey Through Addiction and Codependency — available on Amazon - https://a.co/d/07332AVV YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@LeavingCrazyTown with Dr. Sarah and FinnWhen the Body Says No by Gabor Maté - https://a.co/d/02hZIFCs Melody Beattie's Codependent No More - https://a.co/d/061DkBTm Jen Hatmaker's Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire - https://a.co/d/0jdvWPqV Free Gfit : Get this free list of Christian affirmations that spell out who you are in God – actual in God’s own words. Repeat these biblical affirmations and replace these truths with the lies currently in your head! - https://www.tanyagioia.com/affirmations 👋🏼 GET IN TOUCH💻 Website - www.tanyagioia.com📸 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/soberon_purpose/Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/tanya.gioia.9/🎧 LISTEN FOR FREEApple Podcasts - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/faith-over-addiction-for-christian-women-navigating/id1438258805Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/7vDIdU0qejEuoPI2R3szpHRSS - https://podcasts.helloaudio.fm/podcast/2fbb497f-9ffc-4d8a-802b-c862437fb6ee/8V4vMD8N9v🙏 LEAVE A REVIEWIf this episode spoke to you, please leave a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts to help others find the show! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/faith-over-addiction-for-christian-women-navigating/id1438258805Are you caught in the chaos of addiction, constantly cleaning up emotional, spiritual, and physical messes that aren't yours? Welcome to Faith Over Addiction, where faith meets real life. Hosted by Family Recovery Coach Tanya Gioia, this podcast is designed to offer Christian women hope, healing, and practical tools to navigate the challenges of loving someone with addiction.Through biblical truths, heartfelt stories, and actionable guidance, you’ll learn how to set healthy boundaries, find peace in the mess, and reclaim your God-given identity. You don’t have to carry what was never meant to be yours. It’s time to shift from “this is happening to me” to “this is happening for me,” and let God transform the chaos into something that glorifies Him.Every week, I’m here to encourage you, offer clarity, and remind you that as a daughter of the King, You Always Have Other Options (YAHOO). Together, we’ll embrace faith as the foundation, boundaries as the bridge to healing, and God’s truth as the ultimate guide to freedom, strength, and grace.Blessings,Tanya Gioia 🌸🎵 Music Credit:Track: Luz SolartArtist: Luna CantinaAlbum: Luz SolartReleased: 2024