Are You Mad at Me?

The other day I got an email from a loving woman who has been a member of our community for years. She is in love with a man who drinks too much and suffers from addiction. This is what she wrote me: I used to read your blogs and they would make me angry. Not at you, but I kept thinking, "Why won't he change? I give him everything. I pray, I plead, I'm loving him through it.   But now your emails don't make me upset or angry! I read them and say, "Oh, I get it! It's not me! I'm okay! I was talking with my therapist about this and he said, "Tell Michelle that she should write a blog post for women and remind that that if her advice makes them angry or upset, they've got work to do." You do great work and have an amazing blog! Thank you for being open about the reality of addiction and helping so many! I am going to take the advice of her very wise therapist. If you have ever read my words and feel defensive or if you feel you've tried all the advice and nothing is getting your partner sober and you feel just like my sweet friend who wrote me - you're missing the point. Getting him sober is not the result we're going for. It might be a great benefit to the teachings, but it's not our goal. I built this community five years ago to help with YOUR transformation. To help you go from feeling never good enough to feeling courageous, strong, and secure. You can become a woman who is decisive in her decisions, who has confidence in herself and the path God is leading her down. You can step out of your comfort zone and make real life changes that allow you to be the woman God created you to be. You can get out of the disruptive hold this disease places on your tender heart and bloom into that woman you know deep down inside you really are meant to be. That's what our Love Over Addiction program will do. That's what our Love Over Mistakes program will do. And that's the entire point of this community. And if your loved one gets sober as a result of you getting stronger and happier - amazing! But it's not about him or her. It never was and it never will be. All the time and money and teamwork that goes into building this community is a gift for you. It's only for you - not your partner. It's your time to be pulled up from under this rock and shine. It's your turn to feel like the amazing masterpiece that God already thinks you are. I believe in you and I love you. Really and truly. If you're ready, I would love for you to join one of our programs.  They are just 25 dollars a month - the cost of a case of beer. Your healing is worth that much, don't you think?