Are You Too Much in Relationships… or Just Being Authentic? (Autism & ADHD)

What if being called “too much” in relationships was never about you — but about someone else’s lack of capacity to meet you where you are? In this episode of NeuroSpice & Life – Too Much in Relationships & Dating, late-diagnosed neurodivergent hosts Freya Corboy and Hanna Hosking unpack what happens when a lifetime of being labelled too intense, too curious, or too expressive begins to shape how you show up in love, dating, and connection. For many AuADHD, ADHD and autistic adults, being called too much isn’t a one-time experience — it’s a pattern. A pattern that often comes from being around people who don’t have the emotional language, awareness, or capacity to understand their own discomfort — and instead project it outward. Over time, that message gets internalised: Maybe I am too much. Maybe I need to filter myself. Maybe I need to be less. This episode explores the emotional spiral that can come with that conditioning — the anger, resentment, guilt, and shame that builds every time you’re told you’re too much, and the impact that has on self-worth, boundaries, and relationships. Freya and Hanna talk about what happens when you hit the wall — when the emotional load of masking, dimming, and filtering yourself becomes heavier than the fear of being rejected. Because at some point, something shifts: You realise you don’t want to keep shrinking to be loved. This conversation reframes dating and relationships through a neurodivergent lens — where being called “too much” can actually become a form of clarity. A filter. A way of identifying who has the capacity to meet you — and who doesn’t. Because the goal isn’t to be less. The goal is to find people who can hold, meet, and amplify who you already are We talk about: ✨ Being called “too much” in relationships ✨ Neurodivergent emotional intensity ✨ ADHD and autism in dating and connection ✨ Internalised shame and self-filtering ✨ Masking and dimming your personality ✨ Emotional intelligence and capacity differences ✨ The anger, guilt, and shame cycle ✨ Hitting the wall and choosing authenticity ✨ Dating as a filtering process, not a performance ✨ Finding people who amplify, not diminish you Connect with NeuroSpice & Life: Website: neurospiceandlife.com.au YouTube: @NeuroSpiceandLife Freya (Mumshine): mumshine.com.au Hanna (The Sensologist): thesensologist.com.au Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychological, or mental-health advice. It is not a substitute for diagnosis, therapy, or professional care. Please seek support from a qualified healthcare or mental-health professional if needed.