Are You Trying to Belong or Fit In?

What is the difference between belonging and fitting in? Belonging is about being able to be your authentic self without the fear that someone will abandon you when they see the true you, while fitting in is more about trying to be what the people in your group expect you to be. It is accompanied by a fear that if you took the mask off and showed your true, authentic self, you would no longer be accepted by that group.    Take it one step further and consider how this plays into the relationships that we each have with ourselves. When you have a strong foundation in your relationship with yourself, you’re able to interact with others from a whole and complete place. It is essential that we belong to our true selves first, because that deep level of self acceptance, then allows us to belong more authentically to our families, friends, and other groups.    “If I get to be me, I belong.  If I have to be like you, I fit in.” This quote from Brene Brown’s newest book Atlas of the Heart reveals the importance of identifying the places where we are trying so hard to fit in and the purpose behind our efforts. Why do I feel the need to fit in? How can I support my children compassionately in their need to fit in? Depression and anxiety can stem from not feeling a sense of belonging, and as Brene Brown says, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self acceptance.  Our relationship with ourselves is the most important relationship that we have.    Continue Your Growth Journey: Kaminiwood.com