Welcome welcome welcome welcome I'm Sharon on a miss I'm Dak Shepherd joined by Lily Padman. Hello today's topic is a heavy one But I loved it. It was such a wonderful perspective recently Yeah, I love going like my god people are going through some stuff. They really are wow.
There's a lot of angles There's some twists and turns. Yes. It's a phenomenal episode. Yes divorce crazy divorce stories So, you know as much as one can please enjoy divorce Hi, you're Jane.
I'm doing air quotes Hi, how are you all a good old fashioned Jane Doe? Oh, I love it classic. What is this fun blanket behind you? Who are those people?
I feel like I should recognize that. I'm gonna need to Tom Mark and Travis If I had seen Travis, I would have been able to get it. I was covering him the most I think sure You want to be closest I'd imagine yeah now. We have a fake name for you Are we allowed to say what region of the world you're in?
Yeah, so first of all, this is not my story is actually my parents Oh, okay. Okay. We're in Texas. I'm not gonna go anymore specific than that.
I was 17 I was just starting like my senior year of high school and I couldn't give my age out either Just I'll tell the listener from looking at you. I would say you're in your mid 60s. Just so they have a For sure. Yeah, okay, great.
So I remember coming home from school as a first one So I have an older younger sibling and it looked almost burglarized, but we were missing big furniture items Not just like a TV, but alarm bars and dressers like coffee tables. It was so strange I investigated parents are in some sort of stuff living room, dining room, kitchen, book stairs in my room My siblings my siblings are relatively untouched my room had clothes missing and some jewelry What? Do you afraid that there was a burglar in the home at that moment? No, because we had an alarm system and I was the first one home I had to disarm it to get in so I wasn't suspicious of anything So I think my phone I call my mom because she doesn't work at the time and it goes straight to voice No, so I call my dad my dad takes up after a couple rings and I think we know a lot of them to send you know what's going on He said yeah, I do I'm heading home right now sit down and wait for me there Not the time you work like an hour away, so I come home.
He tells us hey, I was served divorce papers from your mother I don't know where she is on what's going on. She doesn't answer my brother's home calls I think I'm blocked at this point because I'm going straight to boys now Did you sense this was coming like were you surprised to hear this or were you like yeah? They've been struggling. I was surprised.
Let me get back right here. My dad job is kind of important in this matter My whole life. He is military. He was active duty up until I was like maybe six So he settled down with reserve so he's still trying to be military 9-11 happen He went active duty so he was doing tours out about not really at home as much as he was that took hold and there was a lot More every will because my dad was home people are lonely Yeah, and so we get like a visit from an estranged uncle about ours and this uncle has been in and out of prison There's a reason we have a medal on your mom's side or your dad's side my dad's side And this is prior to the divorce papers and so we get strings visit from him and he's like yeah I'm cool fun uncle by the way really quick.
That's such a trope in TV shows isn't it cool fun uncle comes He's got some prison records and then we get a lot of story out of it This is height of Facebook as well, so we started doing investing in our Facebook We started reaching out to people seeing what's going on friends up She's reached out to friends more old-time about the random connection for trying to make here Can I also ask how old is she at this moment? She's probably 47. Okay, so all fours So we find out that she had moved to an area that we have are only one estranged uncle again living Oh my god dad's brother I knew it was gonna be bad when he showed me to Living with him And there have been a years long affair with my dad brother find out. Yeah, like warrants out in the rest for Texas So bringing someone who's not very safe around our kids and then I gotta say I'm not talking to you at all.
That's a no There's all the branch extended later on before we get to the hard break because this is hard break But I just want to say as a rule of thumb if you have an affair and then you leave your spouse You don't get the furniture like when dudes do this or like you take the house fuck up Especially you I've been leave exactly Your spouse like also get your children. Let's be clear not to disparage, but they stole jewelry from their daughter Technically it was gifted from my mother. Yep. She gave you she took back So this is the type of people were dealing with so I'm not surprised they took the furniture Yeah, I just wanted to do a PSA which is if you do just walk out on your family.
You don't get anything Yeah, it's part of the deal. Yeah, yeah, so they got like a moving truck to get this armoire I mean, this is crazy. Yeah, you guys went to school and they got going right away. Yeah, it was a plan Yeah, and I always jokes my Jerry Springer story Oh, yeah, they're no longer Mary.
I will say that that point my mom was nice up and my uncle was nice up Oh, wow, that is so weird, but they didn't come around when they were no and was it your dad's older or younger brother younger? I like it good almost two decades. Oh wow Did your dad have any fantasies of going and beating the shit out of him or anything? I'm sure I mean military background Yeah, I'm sorry.
This is not nice. I forget honestly I have a newborn son and I want my kid to know both his families apologies have been made and the legwork is there It's just in the process. Has she ever offered any kind of explanation like yeah, I really lost my mind or I was struggling It was a lot of pointing fingers a lot of lean not really accountability Wow, so mom moved the furniture out while you're at school and got together with dad's bro. I want to blame it on Perry men Apos doesn't sound like we can't I don't mean I wanted to do too.
That's why I asked her age I said all fours, which is really you really put that it's explicit at that point He made it clear you thought it was Perry menopause, but no, well, maybe I'll I could hope for you hold your baby? He's not a congratulations. Thank you, and then too I hope you have the moment I had which led to an enormous amount of forgiveness of my father Which was like oh, I thought I was the victim my whole life and soon as I had kids I was like oh no no no no no to miss one day of these girls lives would be the biggest heartbreak I could have and I was like oh my god no he was the victim he paid the price It's much worse if not be able to be a part of your kid's life than vice versa. Absolutely.
Thanks. I'll have a great one Alright, take care. Bye. Hi.
Hi. I'm in quotes. This is Seth. Yes, this is fake name Seth And let me just quickly ask how do we come upon Seth as a fake name?
I'm always curious is it like a name you may have always wanted in a way Yeah, it's a name that I heard from where I come from and a friend named his child Seth And I was like oh, that's a cool name. I kind of had it in my back pocket Okay, now I don't want to offend you, but I'm gonna guess Irish But again, I'm a little fearful you could also be Scottish. Are you either of those close like in the middle? I'm English I've been American eyes are Canadian eyes for last 20 years, so you have a little bit of a mesh Okay, so you have a divorce story.
I do yeah, it's not one thing that happened on a day It's a few stories that happened over the course of the last year. So my ex will call her Karen It may seem fair at the end Separated from her last February so year and a half ago to set the stage a little bit about five years before we separated She cheated on me with one guy at first Which I found out about after about a year and then there was another two guys after that over the cost of time You know I stayed there for the kids and to try to make it work But we just argued too much it didn't really work last year is like I'd had enough it was time to separate my job My schedule kind of keeps me away, so it was hard to lever when I felt like I wanted to I worked 28 days away 28 days at home So I worked for the Coast Guard in Canada. Oh cool. Cool job now in August last year I had separated from her for six months at this point I was living downstairs in the basement suite that was kind of unfinished But that's where I was sleeping down there.
We'd play happy families when I was home pretend to be a family essentially for the kids benefit But her and I was separated and August last year I was away on a trip actually took us down off the California coast for like a research trip We've been arguing on and on for the whole trip. It was like a week before I came home I had enough mid argument one time I said I just can't do this anymore I want to divorce this escalated. I finally got home. I told her yet.
I want to divorce I want to move out and she just started losing it She can't contain her anger anymore like a red rag is to a bowl So she gets red miss and she just can't have any rational thought she goes crazy and just starts lashing out punching kicking physical attacks Oh, so over the course of the first week after being home She would almost on a daily basis after the kids have gone to bed come down argue lash out fight try and hit me I would try to restrain her so that she wasn't hurting me, but she's only five foot two and she's really strong for her size She's like a Tasmanian devil when she gets going so really hard to like stop her from hurting me I don't want to hurt her. Yes one particular night I got away from her close the door to the basement sweet and she kicked the door in and I just stood there and she ran towards me Jumped on me legs around my waist arms around my neck and bit my ear Oh my god, my teeth into my ear. Yeah, it's under holy field. Oh, you're the a van der holy field.
She's my type I felt like that image went right through my brain at that point I tried to get her face away from mine It felt like I was gonna rip my ear off if she wasn't letting go I put my finger in her mouth to try to like force her teeth apart and I managed to get her off me and to try to Move her away from me and I got my bag Which was already packed at this point threw it in my car and went upstairs the kids were awake and I told the kids my Beers bleeding. I'm sorry kids. I don't want to argue with you mom anymore I'm gonna go stay at a friend's I'll call you tomorrow everything will be okay And I left and that was the last time that I lived with them now really quickly Did it ever cross your mind to call the police on it? They did but some other children.
It's not fair for the kids to not have their mom They're she's actually a good mom. She's not like that with her kids. It's really just me So I didn't want to have her taken away and have a police report her go into the system or have the kids taken away from us It would be hard for me to go away to work I would have to change everything to be able to be home So I ended up moving into a friend's place and actually that happened on my birthday when she bit my ear Oh happy birthday little side now yeah a few weeks after that I'd been gradually gathering my stuff from her place and we'd argue at one point when I had a car full of stuff And I drove away and she lost it again She put everything out on the side of the road spare tires from a car couch that I was gonna have like a bunch of my Study box from school boxes of stuff and just put a free sign on it Oh boy, I managed to get some stuff back But she's just trying to find any way to hurt me but then her breaks went on a truck So she needed to fix a breaks didn't want to pay for it. She acts all nice.
I ordered the break parts I go to her house. I say okay I'll fix your breaks, but you gotta like stay in the house or go somewhere else and the kids were at a friend's house playing So I got down there I couldn't even undo the wheel nuts and she was just in my ear arguing fighting trying to stay in help me with it But she just needed to argue she ended up throwing the tire on her door on the truck Just putting a big dent in that I said okay. I can't do this I'm out getting my car she jumps on to the hood of my car Dents the wing sits on the hood and puts a dent in the hood as she sat there shouting at me through the window I'm filming her telling her to get off she takes a minute But eventually gets off and starts hiking up the street to go to where the kids are playing I give it a minute because I have to drive past her to get away. It's one road out.
I drive up there She's in the middle of the road. She's just trying to block me I was I don't know what she's gonna do So I have to swerve one way to make her side step and then I swear the other way real quick and go around her and she punches The back of my car plus another dent in it just running up the road screaming at me I was filming as this was happening. So this is documented a couple of weeks after we'd arranged her take the kids to a fair over in a neighboring town We were gonna meet the kids friends friends of hers. I said I would be there because I wanted to be there with the kids The kids wanted me to be there.
So I drove out to meet her. We met just outside of town in a little parking lot I got there first she arrived. She didn't want to bring her truck into the small car park with a fair is I didn't really want to my car because I didn't trust her. I wouldn't want her either in my car.
Yeah, yeah Yeah, we're gonna grab the wheel while I'm driving So she just hops in her truck after arguing with me leaves me and the kids there and just drives away Okay kids, I guess we're going to the fair by ourselves. We start driving down the road to the fair We're going down a bit of a windy road towards a bridge She's coming the other way this other traffic on the road to she swerves right when she gets past the car in front to me onto my side of the road With her kids in your car. Yeah. Oh I'm fully on the hard shoulder the edge of the bridge is coming up So the hard shoulder stops so I have to sort of back onto the road real quick to get back And it's like what the heck are you doing?
Just lost it gets the fair park up She arrives and just tries to play it off like nothing's happening next thing is I went to pick the kids up for the weekend I'd moved into a place of my own by this point went to pick the kids up She packed a bunch of their stuff toys and stuff that they don't really use anymore They were either gonna be giving away or thrown out because some of them don't work You're just avoiding going to the dump so I'm not taking this she loses it because I said no grabs one of the big pictures It's like a driftwood piece pretty heavy over the top of her head and tries to smash onto my car I have to grab hold of the picture She wrestles me to the ground and is like full trying to be a jujitsu wrestler like punching kicking elbowing biting and everything on the ground My kids get out of the car. They're upset. They're crying They're asking us to stop and I managed to like break out of her grip and run around the car drive away I drive up the street. I pull in there's a fire station at the top of the hill kids are crying I try to console them and she has followed me up the hill in the truck and tries to pull in front of me to block me from leaving The car park at the fireplace cars running anything gear.
I just have to clutch down I just drop the clutch and I floor it and I'm trying to get out of there so she can't block me in because I don't know What she's gonna do this time they spin around and I drive away Maybe 20 30 miss calls from her constant text messages. She did call the police saying I've stolen the kids She wants to talk to the kids to make sure that they're okay. I'll give kids the phone They can talk to her. I'm not gonna stop my kids talking to the parents Yeah, she got some of the phone with my kids on speakerphone and she's trying to explain her side of the story like it was all dad's fault Dad attacked me you saw prime them for when the cops ask And I'll bear in mind that this is only a handful of the things this has been constant for the last year She's preventing me from talking to them not answering the phone.
She's manipulating their idea of me and coursing them Like oh dad doesn't want to talk to you dad to busy working dad prefers his life now that he's not with you whenever I get them I'm like, you know that none of this is true, right? Boy she's so nuts. Did you have inklings of that during the relationship prior to the divorce? Yeah, she attacked me before She actually punched me a bunch of times for the first time she lost it with the red rage It's like you know when people blackout when the drunk and they have no memory of it Yeah, it's kind of like that she done this a couple times I had to get stitches in my leg one time.
I knew it was there every time we argued I'd have to de-escalate everything or walk away So I knew I needed to get out But I didn't know how to leave her to plan this was really hard and eventually It's just like enough is enough and coming back to the August trip that I eventually told her that I wanted to get a divorce on the trip There was a new deckhand on our ship. I'd separated from my ex for six months at this point been on a couple dates She had to this new deckhand to come on and she was beautiful young usually don't get And in that first week we get on just like a house on fire and it's surprising like how many things we haven't common usually you see those things in Disney fairytales one day we're talking about relationships fast and she was in one I was trying to hit on her really shouldn't have done at work, but whatever She said I don't really have a boyfriend but a couple of friends with benefits and I don't know what came over me I was just like well do you want another she was taken aback and said yes So we decided to meet the next night her shift finished at midnight So we decided to meet at midnight on the bow of the ship and it was off the California coast right below the Oregon border There was the Mercedes meets your shower at the time. Oh my goodness We took like a yoga mat out a blanket out pillows and we laid out on the bow for about four hours Just watching the meteor shower talking for us the rest is history We've been together since it was like okay. This is giving me enough courage to say that the grass is greener on the other side Yes, I'd like to pursue this I think I'm ready.
Well, you got a glimpse of the fact that you could be happy Yeah, just to not end up with an argument. It's nice to be able to have just a nice healthy positive relationship Yeah, it's been a bit of a tumultuous year. It's still going on. There's probably more drama to come This is a nightmare when the cops got involved that obviously worked out.
You're not in jail. She called the cops off every time She called them. She's done it. Maybe three times now I went to the police station and I asked can I open a file up without actually you going round to her house and taking her into custody I wanted to at least report something but they said no we'd have to go and take her away Take her to the station and question her and I didn't really want to do that well.
I'm glad you've documented a lot of this stuff I think that's very smart. Definitely. I've got a lot of prints out. Oh, man.
It is dude. What a story I'm so sorry you've been going through that and I'm delighted you have someone that's nice. Oh, yeah We're actually on a boat right now. We're sailing.
Oh, you are This meeting just timed in a little sailing trip with our friends So we're on the west coast of Vancouver Island on their sailboat heading to an anchorage right now So that's why I'm kind of look like I'm a little drunk on the camera. Okay. Wow. Wow.
Hope your sailing trip is super fun. Okay. Take care Thanks, uh, bye You gotta be careful about who you procreate Do this is the theme of this last week. I think you just don't know what's going on with anybody like people are in relationships like that Yeah, oh it's brutal.
Here's Emma. What is our Emma? We're just learning. She's been divorced.
I've known her since she was quite young Well, that's what's even crazier. It has been a high school Cherry shirt. That's a cute shirt. Well, and I bought this I was like if I ever go on armchair anonymous.
I obviously have to Yeah, it's super cute Emma. Where are you? I am in North Carolina in a little suburb outside of Raleigh. Oh, just love North Carolina So you have a divorce story.
I have a crazy divorce. Oh good. The crazier the better So I have to give you a little bit of backstory before we get to the juicy bits the sad parts are first But don't stay to sad and in order to understand why my 32 year old husband was in a nursing home I have to tell you these parts. Okay, so April 28th of 2021.
I'm a chef I'm a catering company and I opened a little cafe and six days later my 32 year old husband had a massive stroke. Oh He had a genetic condition that we didn't know about called vascular Ehlers-Danlos and it causes your organs and arteries to rupture spontaneously. So in the middle of the night his crowded artery just blew up Oh my god, so thankfully he woke up when that happened and he fell out of bed and made noise And so that alerted me. I was able to call 911 We got him to a stroke center in time and they were able to save his life But it left him with massive deficits thankfully It was on the right side of his brain and he was right-handed And so if you're right-handed and you bleed into the right side of your brain The most of the stuff that's held there is the function on the left side of your body So he didn't lose speech or himself or anything big like that But he was paralyzed on the left side of his body and he lost his filter Whereas you and I would know not to say things suddenly he didn't they were able to stop the bleeding But they were not able to restore blood flow So he was basically dead on the right side of his brain and we went through months and months of rehab in therapy in hospitals And in the end of July they were like we think we can send him home and I was like I don't know we have three little kids little little my youngest was one at the time.
Oh my god I'm already Wow, did you go through? Oh my god? What a new year it was one full year of every morning waking up being like what catastrophic shoe is gonna drop today So they sent him home and his best friend Tim came to live with us and be his caretaker So that I could keep working keep taking care of the kids keep taking care of him Everyone was just trying to survive obviously when you have brain injury the stimulation of a regular household is a lot But a household with three little kids and we were poor poor I had just opened a restaurant We had a little house with little kids and it caused him to become really violent and unfortunately he hurt one of our kids Oh, where I would have been like oh my four-year-old said no to me You need to go sit and time out He didn't have that filter anymore And so the four-year-old said no to him and he just lost it and he didn't have function on left side So his right side was way over compensating that night CPS had to get involved because a child had been injured enough that I had to take him to the hospital the doctors were able to say Okay, we're gonna take your husband out of the home and rehospitalize him He had 17 days of insurance left so they were like well Leave him for at least 17 days until we figure out what to do and then CPS came in and they were like whatever it is He's not coming home And so I'm stuck in this position of how do I keep my vows to this man that I love but don't know anymore And how do I take care of my primary responsibility? Which is the health and safety of my children and so the very difficult decision was made to move him into a nursing home Which I don't know if you've ever had to do that, but it's very expensive Oh, yes Especially seeing so young so far so long a lot of places wouldn't take him because of his age really quick in the wake of this When you talk to him is he dealing with like massive guilt after that episode?
He calms down as he realized what he's done He was super depressed when I explained to him like hey you broke our child's ribs He was like well, he needed a spanking which we've never done like I don't spank my kids and so I was like I'm sure that came from yes, that's very scary. That's not the person you knew It's almost better if you felt so guilty that would be worse How to make the decision for me easier of like you're not gonna be okay And so his parents lived in a really rural part of Pennsylvania and things are just cheaper there And so we worked together and we found a care home that would take him for just his social security benefits It was 10 minutes from his parents house and they were both retired So it was gonna be great and I was trying to at least once a month drive up with my kids And the first night I go and I'm like wow this is really weird. He's very angry at me. He won't talk to me He won't look at me.
He just glares at me like I he's depressed go back the next month and this time I'm like wow there's a lot of money missing from our bank account Somebody had started to go find me when he first got sick and I had saved like $19,000 that I was using for his continued therapies And I was like that's like $6,000 missing. Where's this money going? I can't find it and then we go and it's another terrible visit I'm like something's wrong and by the time we get to Christmas. I remember saying to my mom right before I left I feel like I'm in purgatory I'm gonna keep going to visit this man because I've made thousands of him and I love him But I don't know him.
He hates me. Yeah, yeah Something's going on here. I just know it. She was like well, let's be like I'll show you what it is because we're Christians I was like, all right, Lord show me what it is release me from whatever trial hell I'm an ego.
He is refusing to look at me and there's six thousand more dollars missing $12,000 at this point and I just off the cuff said to him Do you know why $12,000? We'll be missing from our bank accounts. I need your phone I need to remove you from our bank accounts I think maybe you're spending money on your games and you don't realize it and he was like okay gave me his phone And I was like hey just to make sure like we're good right and he goes we're fine I leave and I get a text from him that says there's one nurse here that I just get along with and we're friends Yeah, and sometimes she helps take care of me at night anyway. She's been removed from my care because everyone's starting rumors It's so middle school.
So he basically admits he's happy to affair with the one on our So I was like they don't just do that unless I'm a college facility I'm like hey, what's going on that go we can't prove anything But if you get into his phone, we think he's gonna get in with our own Facebook So I text him back I'm like send me your Facebook login And I truly believe that they can exceptionally stupid in that moment because he did and I found from the week he moved into the Nursing home until present months a message with this woman and him sending her money. Oh Oh, God, this whole thing What a mess it gets more Because he's a nurse and because he's mentally incapacitated they had to get the police involved because is he capable of consent They take his phone from him and they start going through it And the officer calls me a couple days later and he's like I'm gonna run some names by you And I just want you to tell me if they're familiar to you know, and I'm actually like yeah, I know Ashley That was a single mom who used to help out all the time. Okay, well, we have pictures of them naked together Seven women from before the stroke. Oh Oh Started First opportunity post stroke he was like But the night nurse did it Bob all her teeth Nothing to do with how anyone looked or behaved or was that it was an addiction for sure Hold on though God kind of just gave you an absolute guilt free out yes Because it's a bad luck to leave the crippled guy his injury head by the semi viral and so how do you go about saying?
Thank you so much for all of your support also. I'm leaving him without going cuz he fucked up Yeah, you also don't really want to do that right? You're right there laundry, so I made like a very politically correct statement There's sin in this family and it's guts to go and the sin is him It's sin is him. I want that shirt, so I left him and I stopped taking any of the phone calls from the nurse I was like you see your problem now.
He gets parents took over his care completely I say this with my full chest is better to be husbandless than to be with a bad husband I've been single now for three and a half years and it has been the happiest lightest most joyful three and a half years of my life Oh, I love them so happy to hear that my kids are driving Everyone's doing great Unfortunately, they have the same genetic condition that he does so tomorrow we go to Duke because the only cardiologist in the country that treats This condition is at Duke and so we go yearly for a visit There's no treatment or cure but they have them on a beta blocker to see if over time your blood hitting your vessels more softly Will help with some longevity of your vessels, but right now no treatment are cured There's 30,000 people in the world with this condition and eight of them are children and three of those are mine Oh my we are we didn't know until that happened him and then the rest of his family was tested in a bunch of them are positive So I think a lot of it gets chocolate like hard to see is because you would die of a heart attack or you're a order rupturing and you wouldn't necessarily think to test for a genetic condition That was underlying I'm thankful for the doctors that Duke. They're so wonderful and smart and they make me feel much more comfortable about it So, you know, I'm just I can try to make their lives the happiest they can be and take care of them the best I know how about myself and it's been much easier doing it by myself. You're such a good woman I know How's your business? I did end up closing the cafe after a year because something had to give but I still on the Catering company, so I don't know how to craft services actually, so I just worked with you the letterman a couple of weeks ago Cool What is it called?
Yes, if you're in North Carolina, let's get it going. Yes. I make delicious mac and cheese. Oh sounds tasty.
Although to be fair It's hard to make bad. No, that's not you know, there's excellent, but I mean that you're starting with a good cost and cheese Well Emma so nice to me. I cannot believe what you've gone through and still have a smile on your face I know very admirable. Thank you.
My kids loved race to 70 They'd be like is that guy who gets? Tell your kids good news at the end of August the guy who giggles and I are doing another show Very much the same vibe. Thank you guys so much. This is really fun.
Good luck with everything. Bye bye Hello, can you hear us? Can you hear me perfectly? Celia?
Where are you? I live in Yucka Valley, which is right by Joshua Tree National Park Oh, I know Yucka Valley. There's a military installation there. Yeah.
Yes. Are you a member of that military? My dad was a Marine and that's how we ended up here and you guys get about 2,000 mile-hour wins just out of nowhere Oh, yeah, it's all I would never said that but every time I'm up there I'm like man, you got a love wind was the wind the source of this divorce. No, okay?
I've submitted this story a couple different times. I was like I finally found a problem at sticks because I was like this could be a meet-cute. It could be an Internship that could be a divorce. There's so many elements.
Let's hear it. Okay, so the divorce took place in 2013 But back story I married my high school boyfriend in 2011 where both 23 there had been some problems I was in grad school and I was really trying to finish my degree. I'm working on a thesis project with other people and I wasn't home a lot I was busy he had started hanging out with someone from his work who was a single woman That's kind of not super appropriate But I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt he was from not the greatest childhood a lot of trauma a lot of drug use His mom passed away when he was 16 and his dad is in and out of jail So I don't think a good relationship was ever really modeled for him. Do you have that compulsion at all to rescue people?
I mean you went into the medical field a thousand percent We were dating for like six years by the time we got married There was this little voice in my deepest heart of hearts that was like this isn't for you I really didn't listen to myself my inner voice. I kind of pushed all that aside Dax when your mom was saying how she wouldn't leave a relationship even if it was abusive because she was so ashamed Yes, we got married my friends my family. We did this whole wedding in the back of my mind I'm so embarrassed. I put them all through this.
They all supported me. It's funny I think we all think that way, but they all supported you being happy is what they supported and I like turns out I wasn't yeah, right so they'd support you any time you try to be happy right so during this time He had really developed strong like I'm a libertarian and because his hands had a lot of substance use issues He went completely the other way So like I'm a straight edge and I don't do any substances and you shouldn't either if you love me You won't do that in front of me and you should respect me I'm 21 years old. I'm in college lots of things were changing when I was getting ready to finish school And I had to do six months of unpaid internships And I was like I know we're not gonna be able to afford to live where we are We're gonna have to move back home And so he decided he was gonna go back to our hometown and find us a place to live for when I finished with my school And we moved back the day he was supposed to leave He was like I can't find anyone to go with me I asked all my friends and everybody's busy But she said she was available the single woman and I'm like what married man goes on a road trip with a single woman And all my friends are like what the fuck and of course it was like gaslighting like well Do you want me to fall asleep and crash the car and die? And I need someone to go with me and so it made it may feel like well if I say no then I'm saying well Okay, yeah, I want you to risk your life.
Oh, it's like it's an eight hour drive like I don't think it's that intense Okay, so he shows up at my parents house. He hasn't told them what is happening and he has this girl with them and they're like who is she Right and they're calling me like who's this girl? I'm I he said he needed someone to drive with and they were so disturbed by the whole thing and he just couldn't understand why we were also Set this was really starting to be the downfall and I figured okay He's not gonna speak with her anymore because we're moving back home eight hours away. We rented this small house I was gonna start my internship.
I'm willing to just be like let's start fresh I started my internship at a hospital my very first day I met a Marine who had been injured in a workup for deployment He was carrying a mission of tank track with another Marine who the other Marine dropped their end unexpectedly And he got this extreme whiplash injury. So his spinal cord was bruised So he was paralyzed from the neck down But as the swelling slowly went down he slowly started getting more feeling and movement back So I meet him my very first day You know I felt so bad his parents couldn't come out and do something he was all alone in the hospital a couple weeks go by and I'm Not really his therapist But I'm just in the same vicinity and they would have me do some little activities with him And I was like oh this is a really cool guy. I feel so bad for him He's here all alone a couple weeks into it. I found out my husband was still texting that girl I'm not usually a jealous or snoopy type But something told me like to check his phone and he had been texting her All this stuff about how he couldn't find a job and he was worried and all the things like he should have been sharing with me He wasn't and so I was like if you can have friends and so can I which is not mature I was chatting with this Marine at work and I added him on Facebook But I wasn't trying to do anything shady or he was like oh god I have to shave every day and these hospital razors are killing my face And I was like we have a ton of razors at home.
I'll bring you some so the next day was my day off But I stopped by the hospital and was like hey, I brought you some razors. He was like oh my gosh Thank you so much and we tried it for a little bit and he stood up out of his wheelchair to give me a hug If I'm being 100 honest, it was a little flirty, but nothing Crazy, okay, like nothing inappropriate happened, but I was just like oh I wonder what it would be like to be with a normal guy So went into work the next day I came in and my instructor was like we need to talk Did you come here on your day off and I was like yeah Is that bad? I brought him something he said he was having a really hard time with the razors I had extra I was in the area I brought him to him. He was like someone saw you being inappropriate with him And I was like he gave me a hug and he was like, you know, I'm just so surprised because you're married and I remember thinking like well That's not your business really but okay He was like well you need to go see your patients and I have to call your school and tell them what happened And we'll decide what to do with you at the end of the day And you're not allowed to speak to that patient ever again I was like oh my god And so I immediately went to the bathroom and messaged him on Facebook And I was like I'm so sorry.
I don't know what happened, but I'm in big trouble They said that I was inappropriate like I didn't mean to drag you into this. I'm so sorry And then he goes no, I'm sorry. He's like I'm in trouble too. And I said from do So somebody called my commanding officer and said your marine is here doing inappropriate things Okay, I got a hunch what's happening.
There's a nurse that likes him We're not sure 100 percent But he had how to run in with a nurse who was refusing to give him pain medications and accusing him of being a drug seeker Even though he wasn't taking them ahead of schedule He wasn't asking for them all the time And he was like you have no right to not carry out a doctor's order He ordered those for me. They're due at this time And I'm telling you my pain is an eight out of ten She raised this whole big thing and so he basically told like get the fuck out of my room Like I never want you to be my nurse again. Yeah, there we go So we think it was her because she had a vendetta against him So I was like oh my god. I'm so sorry.
He's like here's my number like if you need anything call me And so I go and I work the rest of the day I see all my patients and then at the very end of the day they sent me down and they're like We were gonna just put you on probation and see how you did the next few weeks But because someone called his commanding officer, it's a HIPAA violation Have to terminate your internship. Oh my god On the pit. I feel like they've got patients. I'm gonna try to be as generous as possible What we don't know is did they have four in a row of affairs between patients and doctors or nurses that resulted in all kinds of shit In lawsuits, who knows what they are coming off of right?
And I was like maybe they just didn't want to deal with the liability of everything I kept it together, but the minute I left the building I started selling Yeah, of course you've been six years getting your graduate degree What am I gonna do? You know and then it was a catalyst in my whole life because I was just like Why did I allow myself to talk to this guy? Why did I open myself up? I was like it's because I'm not happy.
I called him immediately and was like They just terminated my internship and he was like, oh my god. I'm so sorry And I was like what happened to you are you in trouble? And he was like, nah, basically my CEO was like, well, what'd you do? He was like, no, she just gave me something and they're like, okay, well, that's fine I was like, I feel like I really got nailed to the cross.
You're a married woman. I can't believe you do that Some misogynistic looking back. I'm like, I feel like that really was so I left. I went home I told my husband I just got terminated from my internship and basically I just blew up I was like, I don't think I can do this anymore You know, this has really made me realize what's important in my life And he was kind of like refusing to accept it the next day I had to go back to return a book I had borrowed from my instructor I don't know what came over there, but I talked to the Marine and I was like I'm coming back to return a book.
Could you meet me somewhere? And then he was like, tell me where so I parked in the very bottom of the parking garage in a corner by a cement wall I can see I a operation and he wheeled himself in a wheel My god, I'm away down there Cause he still wasn't walking yet popped in my car and I was like, I don't know what to say I'm in a bad relationship and he kissed me It's so funny that this wouldn't have been on this trajectory, but they accused them of inappropriate stuff and then it fast-tracked Yeah, I was kind of like, well, you guys think we're doing it for a second anyway And I'm not working here. I'm not a student here in the car I'm doing the time I might as well do the crime I went home that day. I told my husband like it's over And of course he freaked out and this whole big thing and I was just like, no And throughout this whole thing the Marine was like, I don't want to tell you to leave your husband I just want you to do what you think is best for you And that really stuck with me.
I finally listened to that voice I had been ignoring for so long Fast forward 12 years. I married to the Marine Yeah, this is the new two part We have two beautiful babies We've had a rough journey ourselves too, but we just kept coming back to each other and I was like There's a reason we met in that hospital. Wow And you're a gainfully employed, I imagine in your chosen profession Yes, I wasn't a licensed therapist So nothing got reported and I still went on and became an occupational therapist It was a crazy thing that's ever happened to me. I was like, am I living in a movie?
Like is this real life? I couldn't believe it was all happening that way. A wounded Marine in an occupational therapist. It does sound very Definitely is What a great story we needed that one too.
How'd happy ending? Yeah, very happy ending. Thank you guys. Thanks for listening.
All right. Take care Wow divorces. E They're not fun. It's not a fun thing to have to go through But sometimes it has happy endings and Emma said that it's better to be husbandless but have a bad husband and that's a good take Yeah, that is a good takeaway.
I think the same could be said for wifeless. That's not what Emma said But that's what I'm saying. You have an experience. That's how you just don't know.
You're right. I've not had a bad wife Maybe the next one will be bad I love you Sing a two or something or something We don't have a Song for these new shows or here I go go go We're gonna ask some random questions With the help of our dreams, but this is just I'm a fly around it. I'm a fly around it. Enjoy