Welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Dak Shepard. I'm joined by Monica Patman. Hi.
This was fun. This was for you. My old stomping ground. This one specifically was for you.
It's Crazy Mall Stories. I love them all. Boy, one of these had me laughing. A little tiny thing got carried away.
Someone lost control of a little tiny thing. There's nothing that's funnier than that to me. This is so fun. Oh, it's a really good one.
And some bonkers ones, too. Now, let me see if you can... I'm just looking to see if you can listen to this one. Yeah, this is fine.
There's blood. Yeah, there's some blood. And there's some poop. And there's some poopy.
And there's some theft. Please enjoy Mall Stories. Hello. Hi.
How are you guys? Oh, good. And you? I'm very well.
Thank you for joining me at my work in the supply closet. Wait, okay. You're at work in the supply closet. Does the supply closet always have this very light, ocean-spray-y green blanket?
No. I got the direction. And I put up these lovely sound barriers. So I have this blanket.
And behind me, there is a water here, which, while I was waiting, I heard it tinkle a few times. So I was like, well, that's just great. Hopefully it's not going to be doing that throughout the recording. I hope it does.
I want a co-worker to walk in and go, what in the fuck are you doing? Oh, no. She already knows. She helped me put the blankets up this morning.
So it's been a very productive day at work. Where are you at? In the country. Actually, it was the early 90s.
Early 90s. Prime mall time. I was going to say that about late 90s. Guess what?
It was pretty good in the 80s, too. It was good up until, like, five years ago. Oh, no. In Michigan, like, 20 years ago.
Really? Okay. Okay. Sorry, sorry, Michelle.
That's okay. Sidebar. So I was 17, and I worked at a mall in the suburbs of D.C. in Virginia.
It was a very, very high-end mall. The anchor stores were Neiman Marcus, Saks Fifth Avenue, Macy's. When Macy's was actually a thing, it had a bunch of luxury fashion brand stores. There was a Ritz-Carlton.
Well, there still is a Ritz-Carlton attached to the mall so that people could exit from the hotel into the mall and do their shopping. So, I mean, the clientele was very, very affluent. There was a lease on royalty, and there were actors, sometimes musicians, that were on tour that would stay at the Ritz. This is a dream, Michelle, when you were in high school?
I was 17, and oh, my gosh, did I ever feel so sophisticated? I was working at a card store, so it wasn't like I was working at the Versace, but it still made me feel very worldly and sophisticated. Yes, of course. For the most part, it wasn't very busy.
I mean, I went up there one night to visit a friend and see if we could hang out after her shift. I walk into the store, and the manager's son and her are standing behind the counter smoking a bowl. Oh, wow. In the store.
Very lax. Honestly, the mall that I worked at, it was not really busy at night, and I think if I worked at the mall across the street, this probably wouldn't have happened. It was a weeknight, and I was working with a girl who was 16, and I took my customer service duties very seriously. This guy comes up to the counter, and he asks for some help to pick out some gift wrap.
So, I follow him over to the gift wrap wall, and the gift wrap is not really in plain sight of the cash register. It's about 10 feet away. So, we get over to the gift wrap, and he looks down, and he sees my boots, and he says, oh, gosh, I really like your boots. Now, these boots were everything to me when I was 17.
They were suede. They had this fringe that encircled the top. They were amazing. I wore them into the ground.
They were my absolute favorite boots of all time. So, anyway, this guy, he looks at my boots, and he's like, oh, I love your boots, and I'm 17. So, I was like, oh, my gosh, yeah, I love them, too. They're great.
And I kind of popped my hip out and tilted my knee in, and I kind of swaddled my heel out, so he'd get a really good look at my boot. Were you in a pants or a skirt? I was in pants. Okay.
He's looking at it, and he says, can I see them? I was like, okay. So, I took off my boot, I handed it to him, and I'm thinking, maybe he's got a girlfriend, and he really likes these boots, and he wants to go see if he can find a pair. He's holding my boot, he's kind of turning it over in his hands.
He puts his hand into it, and he says, these don't really offer much arch support, and I'm just like, yeah, okay. This was early 90s. Sweat-wicking technology wasn't really a thing yet, so I'm sure that his hand in there was probably met with all sorts of swampy, sweaty mess. It was gross, I'm sure.
It all happened really quickly, but also, it took long enough that my co-worker decided to come and find me, because we'd been over at the get-wrap all long enough for her to be, I guess, concerned, or maybe she saw immediately that this guy was a creep. But she comes around the corner, and I hear this gasp, and she exclaims my name, because he has crashed down on the ground, and he has every single finger interlaced with the toes of my right foot. Wait, hold on a second. You didn't feel this happening?
It took your co-worker to alert you to this? He was feeling the inside of the boot and the arch support, and then all of a sudden, he finds his hands down to your feet. He somehow talked me out of my sock. Okay, great, so there were some steps between feeling the inside of the boot.
But was he standing upright holding the boot, or was he down by your foot? Yeah, he was standing up, and then he eventually made it down to my foot, where, if I remember correctly, he actually took my sock off. Yeah, and so he ended up with his fingers in between every single one of my toes on my right foot, and he basically stands up and walks out of the store, and my co-worker is just looking at me like, what in the actual fuck? And I'm just kind of like, customer service?
I really don't know how it happened. Is it fair to say you had like, the freeze response? Was it that you froze and you were nervous, or you just literally didn't even really notice what was going on? I was aware that he was asking me to take off my sock.
I was kind of like, this is weird, but it was crazy. How old was this person? He was probably late 20s, maybe early 30s. When you're 17, everybody who's over 20 looks old.
What would be the worst age for you, Monica, to hear? I was expecting like, 53. 53, okay. That felt really bad.
For whatever reasons, there's strata in this, because if there was like, another 17-year-old boy. Yeah, that's hot. I would argue 53, you can't make it that long in this game. No, I think you can.
You think you can? Yeah, there's a lot of older creeps out there. Listen, if you come across a naive 17-year-old like me, he probably could have been older than that. What's the worst age for you?
40. Interesting. I guess because I'm on 50s back door, and I know I'm not as sexual as I was 10 years ago, so I feel like I would be more dangerous at 40. You have to wonder how many young women's feet he held, because he had obviously a well-rehearsed approach and technique, and you're starting with some flattery, like, oh, I love those boots.
Right. Oh, great, me too. It's a whole system. It was weird you would think that somebody who's going to try to pull something like that would go to a shoe store.
Maybe they're a little more on top of it. Is this too dangerous for us to explore the hierarchy of fearful interaction of this nature? Yeah. I do feel like this is the lowest harm rate.
Like, let's just say a deranged lunatic at 7-Eleven was going to touch a body part of mine, and I got to pick. Yeah. I go, yeah, if this guy's got to touch something, I'll let him touch my foot. I agree, actually.
So it's like a preferred body part. Because I would not want them to touch my hands too intimate. Yes. And germs.
And face. Definitely not face. Belly. Definitely not, like, private parts.
Right, lower back. Even knee feels a little too... Inside of the knee. No, that's way too intimate.
I prefer to have my foot touched than to see a flasher, right? Yeah. You know, just go through all of them. I feel like this is maybe the only one we can laugh about.
I mean, it's still because it's a stranger. Yeah, the guy's deranged. He's obviously deranged. But if I was in a relationship with someone and they had a feet fetish, I'm into it.
It doesn't creep me out unless that person's fetish is so strong that they're doing what this person's doing, like going to malls and touching strangers' feet. Underage students. Yeah, that's bad. For the rest of the shift, my coworker made fun of me relentlessly.
We never really talked about it again because she was 16. I was 17. It was something that I realized now that I haven't really talked with anybody about it. I was talking with a friend of mine.
I sent her text. I was like, hey, you remember the time that I got my foot finger at the mall and she said, no? What? You know, I don't think I really told many people because I recognized that it was kind of steamy on some levels and I didn't really want to be like, yeah, no, I'm the girl that took my sock off.
Right, you felt shamed. Right, yeah, you're answering my question. I was wondering if you didn't talk about it because on some level you felt like, how did I let myself get to a point where my sock was on? Like, I participated.
Exactly. This is classic victim 101 where if I got on mall security, they would have been like, well, why would you do that? Yeah, exactly. Also, early 90s, absolutely.
What do you expect when you wear boots that nice? Your fault. You were asking for it with the fringe? The fringe is like, really?
You might as well be topless. Oh, man. That was one of my weird small stories, but I can laugh about it now. You catch anyone stealing from this place?
Not the kind of products that thieves are drawn to, stationery and wrapping paper? I think that's a misnomer. You do? Oh, you're right.
They like to steal random. Yes. I always want to call them narcoleptics. There was an employee that actually stole and we found out that he was stealing a bunch of expensive figurines.
He was giving himself credit on his credit card with a chart machine. That makes sense as long as you're getting money out of it, just to be stealing and have a gorgeous set of stationery. All right. This seems a little bizarre.
Well, Michelle, thank you so much for sharing that story with us. Thank you. We have a great day at work. Yeah, there's that.
I'll try. All right. Well, have a great rest of your day. Nice meeting you, Michelle.
Nice meeting you guys, too. Bye-bye. I used to love that kind of store, Hallmark. Just stationery.
I would walk by and go, like, what the fuck is that I'm doing in here? Like, who's buying paper? What? It was a great place to get gifts.
No, AJ Foyt's was or whatever. What's that? Novelty shop. Oh.
We were shopping sexy stuff. Spencer's? Spencer's, yeah. Spencer's gifts.
Oh, my God. Yeah, that's the difference between boys went to Spencer's. Because there was like sexy stuff in there. Here's Jacob.
Speaking of feet, I need a pedicure. Hi. Oh, hello. Hi.
Is it Jay or Jacob? My full name's Jacob, but you can call me Jay. Okay, I'm going to call you Jay. I like that.
Where are you, Jay? I'm in Denver, Colorado. I'm from San Diego originally, and that's where this mall story takes place. You have an expert shirt on.
I do. It's my Monica Monsoon shirt. Oh, how great. It was given to me by my wife, who's also named Monica.
I love that for all of us. She wants to come meet you guys a little bit. Of course. And you're in what I presume is your basement, where you do music.
Yes. I have a drum set behind me. I mean, it's a pretty big room, but I have all this sound buffering already. Oh, we love that.
I was like stressed in my morning, so hopefully it sounds okay. You sound glorious. It's really good to meet you both. You're my two favorite people that I've never met.
Oh, thank you, Jay. That's so flattering. Okay, so take us back to San Diego in what year, and also give us a loose description of mall culture in San Diego, because Monica and I think what's unique is outdoor probably is the norm. Aren't there a lot of malls in California where there's no roof?
That's kind of actually how this one is. So it's a mall called Fortin Plaza, and essentially it's like a five-story mall with like a canyon that goes down the middle. You can see all the stores on one side and look all the way down to the first floor when you're on the other side. But one thing about it is it's absolutely super confusing.
So like take a staircase from like the second floor against the fourth floor. It's like an M.C. I share a drawing. 100%.
It's like the end of Labyrinth. I'm trying to find David Bowie up in there. Even like the parking lot's a double helix. Oh, no.
You just get lost. So I was probably 13 or 14. It's like 8th and 9th grade. So this would have been in 2003.
All right, great. So this was at the peak of malls, and people were starting to trust buying things from the internet, but it was like everything was in there. You have all the food shops and the game stores, and go there for anything you need. Oh, God, I miss it.
It was really fun. I went with my dad just to do some shopping, and we basically went to go hit up the stores that I knew. So it was like the GameStop, and it was Hot Topic at the time. So I'm walking around with my dad, we do some shopping, and we just have to stop for lunch.
They have all these options, but my favorite place was Mongolian Barbecue, where you like fill up your bowl with meat and veggies, and then they stack a bunch of noodles on it, and then make it on that circular grill with a bunch of big chopsticks, you know? Oh, yum. Industrial chopsticks. I was of age where I could crush the whole thing.
So I ate the entire meal, and then right afterwards, I got a feeling in my gut. Immediate. Immediate. I used to get this thing, it was like one in, one out, where I'd like put a meal in my body, and then I'd instantly have to go to the bathroom.
Wow. So I look at my dad, and I'm like, I gotta go to the bathroom. And he's like, okay, I see ya. So we start looking for a bathroom in this mall.
And we're stopping at the stores, and they're like, we don't have a bathroom. Other stores are like, it's employees only. And I'm starting to really feel it. Jay, I don't want to be critical of you guys, but of course there's no toilets in the stores.
We know this. This was a total waste of time. But it was such a confusing mall, they couldn't find the regular bathroom. I know, just, you know where the bathroom was.
I swear, but you just know that Hot Topic is not going to let you take a dump in there. They should have said the bathroom is around the corner. Oh, this is a nightmare. And I'm like, this is getting kind of bad.
And my dad looks at me, and he goes, there's a bathroom in Nordstrom. Can you make it? And I was like, yes. And internally, I'm like, I fucking hope I can make it.
Internally, you're like, maybe. Also, your dad knew there was one in Nordstrom the whole time? Come on, Dad, go straight to Nordstrom. At least some of the stores have bathrooms in them.
So I was like, you know, they trek across the entire mall to get there. My dad runs ahead and opens the door, so I didn't have to open the door for myself. You're poor dad. We instantly got into the women's shoe section, and we were on a level that was just all women's clothing and stuff.
So it's like my dad, who's like a 6'6 dude, and me, an 8th grader, running through this section. And I'm slowing down my pace, you know, trying to like squeeze the buttcheeks. And I get probably 20 feet from the bathroom and just start running and lose it. As you take off running.
I mean, it was going to happen. It was like as I was opening the door, it just started leaking everywhere. And I was wearing khaki shorts and like tall white socks. And it was just like all down everywhere, almost next to my shoes.
I made it into the stall, and I'm sitting there just awkward as fuck with acne and shit. And I'm like, where do I begin? What do I do? There's a single-plied toilet paper that just doesn't clean anything.
My dad just opens the door and he goes, are you good? I just go, no. So he leaves. And I'm just cleaning up everything.
I throw away my underwear. I throw away the socks. I threw basically everything away. Then this other dude comes in, and it's a single stall and two urinals, that type of bathroom.
This old guy's just standing outside of the urinal waiting for me to be finished. I'm just sitting there smushing shit around, getting cleaned up as best as I can. So my dad finally shows up and basically acts as like a bouncer. We got an issue.
Go use a bathroom on another floor. He's like, do you know how many bathrooms there are in this mall? None. Yeah, just one on every floor of Norton.
Just five of them. Go find your own. So over the top of the bathroom stall just comes a pair of Tommy Bahamas bathing trunks. They're like green with orange and pink, you know, flora on it.
It has like the netting in it, which like at the time was not cool. So I'd throw them on and throw my poopy khaki shorts into the bag that the bathing suit came in. Like a paper bag from Norton's. Do the walk of shame back through the women's shoes section.
A kid goes into the bathroom and comes out wearing something different. So I'm just mortified. Does anyone know where the pool is? He should have bought you a towel, too, this one over your shoulder.
I thought there was a popcorn jacuzzi up here somewhere. So we finally make it out of there to the car. I don't know what to say. And my dad just leans over and he goes, don't worry.
It happens to the best of us. And then he proceeded to just tell me a story about when he shit his pants in public to make me feel better. Oh, what a good dad. So yeah, that's when I poop my pants in Norton.
So sweet. It does make me wonder why we don't ever see people actively pooping their pants. Because we all have these stories. We've talked to tons of armcherries who have done it.
Why haven't I ever been looking at an eighth grade boy and to see shit dribbling down his legs as he sprints through his shoe section? I have an 11-year-old set son, and I tell you, I've seen that look in his eyes before. Wow. It's always been at home, luckily.
Yeah. I mean, have you ever seen someone dealing with shit actively in their pants? Well, one time, were we together when we were on an elevator and there was someone in front of us who definitely had soiled their pants? I've seen a couple people, and I sent you some photos.
Maybe. Once from Rite Aid, back when it was on the corner. I was behind a woman who had totally shit her yoga pants. Okay, that maybe.
But there were no lumps, so I couldn't decide if it had been washed and it stained. That must have contained it, though. Right. Yeah, that's a good outfit to have.
Well, I'm going to be on the lookout for more shit on people's legs and shoes and stuff. It's shocking we don't see it. And Jay, you really scratched an itch I've had. I was just lamenting to Monica a couple days ago.
I have wanted to be the significant other that comes in at the end of the story so bad. Well, you have a big leg up that you're Monica. I'm so excited to meet you guys. Oh, that's true.
What year were you born? 1990. Younger than me. Younger, so you're 1.0.
I'm just a baby over here. I was hoping I would have the. I'm sorry, because I used to work at Limited, too, but Jay is sort of B-Mines. I loved Limited, too.
What year did you work there? I was in high school. 2008, minus three years. Okay, 05 to 08.
And you were in there a lot in that period? No, I was late 90s, early 2000s. 99 to 04. Yeah.
Okay. Yeah, by the time I worked there, I kind of used to add dressing, unfortunately. And Limited's brother's store was Structure? Or am I confusing what Structure's sister store was?
Yeah, I think it's Express. Did you say anything bonkers while you worked there? Well, I just told Jay, I was like, I didn't think about this until this prom came up. We did have someone who pooped in the dressing room, and they were definitely sitting because the poop was shaped like this, and they asked me to clean it up, and I'm like, I make $10 an hour.
Right. My cousins worked at Gap, and it was a pretty regular occurrence that someone would sheepishly come in, they would take an outfit off the rack, they'd go in, and they would change into it, and come out and pay for it. They'd have their old clothes wadded up in the bag. No!
Yeah, this happened weekly at the 12 of the small. Oh, my God. So you're just a dime a dozen, Jay. That's kind of what happened to me.
What if we found out there was a broad study, and like 5% of the clothes sold in the Nordstrom's was just people dealing with having shit themselves. Oh, it's that Auntie Annie's and it's a bar that really gets you out. Yeah, well, that Korean barbecue is not the safest bet there. Jay and Monica, so nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you both. Thank you. Yeah, our pleasure. Have a good rest of your day.
Yeah, take care. Oh, the mall. You're getting itchy, aren't you? Yeah, I want to go.
But you want to go back in time. I do. I want to do the impossible. The Yankee Candle Store.
I loved it. Let's get in the car and drive all the way up to the mall to get some candles. What the hell is that? You're so judgmental.
I'm just so male. Oh, my God. Bath and body wear. There we go.
You liked it? I didn't like it, but I get it. Did you have to buy any of your kind stuff? I bought a few of those packages for Christmas for moms and girlfriends and stuff.
It's just like a flower shop for dudes on Valentine's Day. I walk in there like, what's a thing with my mom? Yeah. Moonlight Path was my scent.
Do you ever go in there and take a sniff on it and get nostalgia? No, I haven't seen it like Bath and Body Works in a while. Because, you know, a few years back, I ordered my high school cologne. You did?
Yeah, and it sits in my medicine cabinet. And then every once in a while, I just smell it and it takes me back. Oh, that's great. I should do that.
By Dior. Oh, I thought you were mispronouncing pheromones. No, no, no. Fahrenheit was the title of it.
It was by Dior. Dior? That's advanced. Well, my dad wore Obsession for Men by Calvin Klein.
And I think all dads wear that. Yeah, that was common. I was into Ralph Lauren Blue because this popular girl had it and she smelled so good. And so then I got it.
It didn't smell as good on me. Well, that's what's funny. However she would have smelled would have been good. Oh, that's probably how you're supposed to smell because she's popular.
Michael Jordan had his own cologne. That was mine. Oh, really? What did it smell like?
What was it called? Michael Jordan Cologne. Oh. Hi.
Hey, we were talking about popular colognes and perfumes from our youth. What's your favorite? We just found out cute Wabi Wabi was wearing Michael Jordan's signature cologne, which is super adorable being in Chicago and all. But you seem to still be in your youth, so you're not yet nostalgic.
I mean, I'm 28, so you could say that, but I feel like I've lived many lifetimes already. Well, you're 10 years out from high school, so you could be reflecting back. Did you have a fragrance you wore? I don't think I had a go-to when I was young.
I remember we used to go to Montana when I was younger, and there was a store called Route One One. They had signature fragrances, so I remember one of those. And I actually had a hit of it recently, and I was like, where is that from? Nothing makes you more nostalgic than a fragrance.
Where did you grow up that Montana was a regular vacation destination? I am in Alberta, Canada. Oh, you're coming south. Yes, it's about four hours away.
Okay, so tell us about mall culture in Canada. So I live in Calgary, and in Edmonton, which is three hours away, there's West Edmonton Mall, and that's a super popular mall. And last year, I spent a semester in Edmonton. I was surprised to see the number of malls that they have, considering that West Edmonton Mall is their main attraction.
Oh, so there's been an explosion of malls since? Yeah, they're not small malls. They're all dramatic, big malls. Oh, wow.
I definitely spent a lot of time at the mall when I was young. I don't even want to know how much money I spent just on jeans. What was your store? When I was younger, jeans were definitely like American Eagle.
Yep, yep, yep. Classic. Okay, so where and when does this mall story take place? Ironically, there's a lot of like sim things in this story.
So this story happened in 2018, and actually happened in May. We're on the anniversary. We're celebrating the anniversary together. Oh my god, congrats.
Six-year anniversary. And it happened here in Calgary, so we don't have like a lot of malls, but it was one of the bigger ones. A little bit of backstory. My dad, who's kind of the main character in the story, is estranged now from everybody.
He is a pretty volatile addict with some mental health issues, and that plays into the story a little bit. At the time, within a year, my parents had split, so my mom and my sister were living elsewhere, and I was living at my dad's house. My dad was out a lot. He was dating, keeping himself busy, and he was in a relationship at the time.
I had never met this woman, don't know her name, don't want to know her name, just mind my own business. Did you stay with him while you were going to college or something? This was six years ago? I was still living at home while I was in university, and my mom left and took my sister and didn't tell me.
So I was just left. Oh, wow. That's really intense. So I was basically his babysitter, for lack of a better word.
On this particular day, he was home, and second sim thing, me and my friend, who's now my roommate, we were actually planning to start a podcast of our own. Wow. Okay. Inspired by what?
What were you listening to then? Ono Faris or something? Oh, no way. Oh, wow.
It sounded like you were fishing. This story feels too long ago for us to play a role in it. We had just started. Yeah, a couple months in.
So I'm listening to you guys, and I'm going to her, and I'm having all these conversations, and I'm like, oh, this is my jam, because I'm a literary theory major. Ooh. I had just graduated. I just got my BA at the time.
I'm like, okay, we're going to start a podcast. We had a name picked out. We're ready to go buy the equipment. I'm about to walk out the door, and my dad is like, I want to buy you a grad ring right now.
What's a grad ring? Graduation ring. Oh, okay. For having just graduated college.
Oh, a piece of jewelry. A jewelry. Okay. Yeah, and he had never mentioned this to me before.
Never knew that this was a thing. But he's probably an impulsive guy, so you're used to this. Yeah. And I'm like, okay, well, I don't know what else he's going to get up to, so I guess we're going to the mall.
Yeah, yeah. So I call my friend, and I'm like, okay, change of plans. We'll pick you up. We're going to the mall, and then on our way home, we can go and pick up the microphones.
It never ended up happening. We have not purchased the microphones. It completely fell through. So this is the same part.
This is sad. The story made it to a podcast, so we've come full circle. This is like a life-altering story. It was.
I don't even know how it threw absolutely everything out the window, but it did. We might have been calling into your show, Jay. Yeah. We're going to the mall, and he drives us, and he parks in the underground parkade.
We end up shopping, and the mall's about to close, so it's like 30 minutes to closing, and we've got to make our way back to the parkade. And we're on the second floor, so we walk to the elevator, and we're waiting at the elevator, me, my friend Kayleen, and my dad. There's two other women who are also there waiting for the elevator. Now, the three of us are relatively tall, especially me, like six feet.
Oh, wow. These ladies are pretty petite, and so they go into the elevator first, and then the three of us follow them in, and both of them push the buttons on the elevator. So there's an older woman, and she pushes P2, and the younger woman pushes P1. Quick question.
Are they together? They're not together. So the younger one pushes P1, which is the level that we're going to get off on. We don't end up having to push it.
So we get down to P1. This younger woman walks out of the elevator. When you exit, it's like a lobby, and so she goes towards the doors that are on the left, and then we walk in a line. So it's my friend, then myself, then my dad, and we all walk out to the right-hand side.
And you walk out these automatic doors, and then you have a couple steps down to be level with the parkade floor. So we're chit-chatting as we're walking. Then all of a sudden, I get this yank on my sweater from behind, and I'm like, what the hell? And so I'm like, I don't know if my dad's trying to roughhouse me.
So I go to turn around, and I see him just standing there frozen, and the woman is standing at the top of the stairs. So then he starts kind of stammering. He's like, why did you do that? What the fuck is wrong with you?
And I'm like, what just happened? And he turns around, and he faces me, and he goes, she just fucking stabbed me. The little gal who had gone to the left- And she was young. Came and stabbed your dad quickly, and then ran up the stairs?
I think she was on the stairs the whole time. Oh, oh, oh. And so as he's walking down the stairs, because she's small and he's tall, it was like the level there. Oh, just the two little stairs.
Yeah. He kind of like touches his neck and looks at his hands, and I see the squirting out of his neck of the blood. No. And she's still there.
She's staring. She's just standing there, completely unfazed, and he's starting to get hysterical. Yeah. Like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Why would you do that? You just stabbed me. What the hell? Oh, my God.
So he holds his neck, and then I turn around and look at my friend. She looks shocked, and then I start feeling more shocked. So we're all hysterical at this point. Can you see the weapon or object?
Well, she's standing with her arms down. So I think it was like a pocket knife. It wasn't anything huge. She just turns around and walks away.
Oh, what? Oh, my God. Then my dad gets really angry, and he was like, you're not getting away with this. Come back here.
And he starts running after her. Yeah, yeah. He chases her back into the lobby. They go down the stairs into the lower parkade.
Okay. And we're like, Dad, stop. He's bleeding everywhere. And I'm trying to call the cops, but I just keep hitting, like, call Dad on my phone, because I don't know what I'm doing.
We get down to the lower parkade, and we're in the lobby, and the woman runs out into the parkade. And finally, my dad stops. We end up seeing the older woman who was in the elevator with us, and we're like, get out of the parkade. There's a stabber on the floor.
Oh, my God. So she comes back in with us. We go up to the original floor, and I'm finally able to call 911. And they arrive pretty quickly, within a couple minutes.
The ambulance takes a little bit longer to show up for us, and I think there's like at least two or three cop cars who show up, and one of them goes down to the lower one. They take off on their bikes, and they end up catching her down in the lower parkade. Oh, the bike cops have been living for this moment, because they're so dorky. They relegated to bicycles in a mall, and they don't get any action, and they finally got to tear off on their bicycles.
Big day. And I think, too, when they came up to say they got her, the cop had, like, dust on his knees. And so my dad's like, did she fall down? And he's like, a little bit.
They kind of, like, tackled her. Yeah, of course. All that adrenaline after pedaling those bikes. What if he just fell off his bike?
That could have happened to you, yeah. First time in a high speed bike. He's like, no, I tackled her. From a really high speed.
It definitely wasn't that I just fell. So at this point, my dad's fine, aside from actively bleeding. I take his phone, and I'm like, I gotta start calling people and telling them to meet us at the hospital. And he forbids me from calling my sister or my mom.
And they're the only two people that I want to call. You're not gonna call his bar buddies or anything? No, but I did. Oh, okay.
I call his friends, and I call my grandma, and I'm like, okay, everybody meet us at the hospital. The ambulance shows up. My dad's about to leave, and he's like, one more thing. You gotta call my girlfriend.
So I call, and I'm like, hi, I'm your boyfriend's daughter, and he just got stabbed in the neck, and he would like you to come meet us at the hospital. Oh, see you soon. Oh, God. Wow.
Wow. Nice to meet you. Luckily, she's a lovely lady, and we're still friends to this day. Oh, that's nice.
Good. Yeah. So then he gets taken off in the ambulance. Me and my friend drive his car to the hospital.
My dad's in the ER. He didn't end up needing any surgery, but a knife just nicks his jugular. Oh, my God. Wow, wow, wow, wow.
And then at this point is when we get a full update from the cops. And the reason that they were there so quickly is because he wasn't the first victim. He was number three. Number three of a stabbing spree?
No. And second location. What? What the fuck?
Wait. Well, this is comforting because it's always a guy. I'm almost relieved that there's finally a woman out there stabbing people. And she was timely.
Yeah, although she may be mighty. And she was aloof. Can you describe more things about her? The only two things that I remember in the elevator.
She was in sandals, and she looked a little dirty, and something tie-dye. So hippie vibes almost. Yeah. Her history, come to find out after, is like 10 years long of other assaults and violent things.
Whoa. And she's just found not criminally responsible because she's not mentally well, but we don't have the resources to actually provide proper housing and care and support. Sounds like schizophrenic where she thinks she's fighting for her life. Like paranoia.
Yeah, yeah. What actually happened, she's at a plaza across the street at like a Vietnamese restaurant. Vietnamese. I don't know the actual backstory of how it all happened, but she stabbed, I think, a waitress first.
Jesus! And then walked out into the parking lot, stabbed some guy. Oh my god. Wow.
She's ballsy too. So then she walks across the street to the department store of the mall, somehow comes upstairs, walks through the mall, and to our elevator. And then, like I said, she pushed P1. I don't know where she was going.
Right. So it wasn't like she had necessarily targeted your dad initially. Totally random. And I mean, all in all, afterwards, we're like, that was the best case now.
Yes. Had she stabbed myself, my friend, or the other older little woman. I don't think we would have made it. We've all got tiny necks.
He's got a big neck. That's so true. Oh my god, talk about wrong place, wrong time. Okay, so I feel a little bit vindicated because my first reaction is like, if I'm your dad and I get stabbed by her, I'm going after her right away.
And I'm going to kick her in the back as she's running. She's holding a weapon. I'm going to kick her in the back and knock her down. And then I'm going to stand on her wrist as she's holding a knife in her back and neck.
No, no, no, no, no, no. Because she'll die if you stand on her. She's so small. Because the first person who dealt with this had done that, they would have saved two more stabbing.
Do you think if you just stood on her wrist, that'd be enough? No, I'd stand on her body, too. Really? She deserves that.
Can you just lay on her body? No, I don't want to choose to touch her. You know, you could say, well, you're nuts to go after somebody, but you could also prevent two more people. It's true.
Now, there's one more twist to this story. Oh my god. Your dad had been fucking her for a month. I did at first.
I did at first. It was a sworn girlfriend. The new girlfriend that she had met. Yeah, yeah, yeah.