Armchair Anonymous: Nurses

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So head to Squarespace.com slash DAX for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch, use Go DAX to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, Armchair! Oh, wow, you really... Well, it just got stumbly, but I loved it.

And we were just talking about my verbal dexterity going in the... I loved it! Welcome, welcome, welcome, Armchair, and Armchair, and I'm joined by Monica Mouse. Okay.

Let's talk to our favorite members of the medical community today. Oh, yes. Nurses. Nurses are like Vietnam Special Forces vets.

They've seen it all. Yes. I am so grateful for those peeps. I'm grateful for doctors.

We love doctors. Sure. When you're in that hospital, you start seeing them. Yeah.

This place is run and functions because of the nurses. Exactly. We love that. And when you ask nurses to tell you crazy stories, you're going to get some fucking crazy stories.

And so in a nutshell, stop listening right now. Switch to something else. 100% don't listen to this episode. Honestly.

It's full of all kinds of gore. Just prep yourself for every episode we ever do of this show. Just prep yourself that things could be squeamish. And this one especially.

This one is four for four. Sweet. Like you cannot be eating your life. Don't listen to this episode.

But if you... Because you're so indignant and insulin and you're such a rascal and a contrarian that you've got to listen. Don't know. Do not do it anywhere near or around any feeding.

Okay? Tell me now. If you puke in your lap of your car and fly into a ditch. That's not on us.

That's on you. You were the one that was irresponsible. We're warning you now. I do want to mention people are curious about their not mean episode last Friday.

And basically the explanation of that is we quit. No, we do four a month. That's right. And sometimes there's five Fridays in one month.

Yes. Five times one month sometimes. Yeah. And on those fifth Fridays of one month.

No arm Geronamis. Yeah, I think it's just a schedule gets a little funky sometimes. And that's why every now and then. And we're sorry.

There should be 52 a year. And next Friday. Oh no. More bad news?

June's a little different too. June is a bit diff. We don't have an arm turn on us worry. But we have something else for you that is very fun and interesting and different.

And that will be our 600th episode. Oh, it will? That abridged? Yeah.

Wow. Oh my God. 600. I've already tell this story telling people who are past 600.

Do you do this? No. They get ahead of myself. We technically are if you count like all the other shows.

And what's in the can. Yeah. Let's say after 600 interviews. Is that my new thing?

I'm saying after 600 interviews. Yeah. So I'm so rough to be around. I'm telling you to hear me saying.

Anyways, I hate myself. Don't listen to this episode. Fuck you. Oh my God.

Yeah. I love you. I can hear you. Can you hear me?

Yes. We can hear you. You can hear us. This is lovely.

Laura, how are you? Where are you at in the world? I am in Minneapolis. We had a great live show in Minneapolis.

We very much enjoyed it. I was there. You were there. Okay.

So are you a nurse? Laura? I'm a nurse. I've been a nurse for 11 years.

Wow. I've always worked in healthcare. I'm actually in school right now to be a nurse practitioner. So I'm getting my doctorate.

Oh, and what things will you be able to do that you can't currently? Oh, I'll be a family nurse practitioner. So I'll be able to diagnose right prescription. Oh.

Have your early physical. Oh my God. Well, congratulations. Thank you.

So what year did this event happen? Ten years ago, I think. So you were first at it? Yeah.

I was working at a clinic taking phone calls. So call that triage, right? We're taking phone calls from patients. This particular gentleman that was calling.

I will call him Mr. T. Okay. Great.

For everyone's safety. Yeah. So he called in and he was telling me about some pain he was having. Of course, because this is an interesting story, it was rectal pain.

Okay. Yeah. So going about the questions, how long have you been in pain? It's been about a week he told me.

And I said, well, what's been going on? Anything new, anything different? No, I'm not divulging too much. The client telepatients that I worked with at the time.

It was not unusual to get calls like these. Like I had somebody call one time that had gotten something stuck in his urethra. Okay. Sure.

You know, just different acts that got them in places they didn't want to be. Could happen. Any of us. Exactly.

Trying new things. This gentleman he called and he told me once we had spoken for a little bit that he had something inserted in the rectum. Okay. So nicely tried to ask what was this, what size?

Just so I was aware. And he told me it was a can of cooking spray. Oh, okay. A can of cooking spray.

I can. Oh, I'm not allowed to sell. That's exactly what it was. He told me I can of pan.

I was trying to not. I think it'd be flatter to know that their products were so loved that people ended up having sex with them. He got the name brand. Sure.

He splurged. Yeah. Exactly. Okay.

Wait. So he says, yes, a new thing was this can of cooking spray. Yeah. That's what he tried.

And then, you know, unfortunately, he could not remove it. He had tried to pull it out on his own. What? It was all the way.

He lost. He was in pain for five days. Wait. It was in there.

No. He kept it in there for five days. Yeah. Yeah.

Five days. And I'm on the phone with him, like in the middle of the clinic. So there's not really any other options here. It's been there five days.

It's not coming out with me telling you to do something over the phone. Yeah. You're going to come down. Yeah.

So you're going to come down to the hospital. Can't drive. He's got it right on all four. Like a dog.

Well, he didn't have anybody to drive him. So I had to call the ambulance for him. He was very hesitant about that. He was worried about leaving his apartment and cat if I remember correctly.

I called 911 for him. I got to tell 911 what was going on. Listened all the way until 911 got there. And then it just so happened that the doctors that I worked with also worked at the hospital.

So we got to find out the process. Yeah. So he went in through the emergency room and of course they wanted imaging. They wanted to see inside what was going on.

Absolutely. Is the cat? Yeah. The cat was a huge question.

So he had a tear that actually the Pam can was holding from making him go septic. Oh my God. It was plugging the gas. It was plugging the tear.

Whoa. It completely perforated. Yeah. But because the can was so stuck in there, it was holding from anything getting into his bloodstream for that time.

Yeah. Oh my God. Now do we think they took four seps and spread the anus so wide that they were able to get in there? They very well quite have.

I mean, obviously we know it stretched that far. Right. Clearly at least one time. He got it up there.

Oh my goodness. And then they just suited him up, I guess. They suited him up. They treated him with a whole bunch of antibiotics.

I mean, the amount of Pam that's just been sprayed up his body. Oh, you think it. I don't know. I can't speak to that person for sure.

He's all oiled up. Oh my God. Wow. Oh, just in case it's not going on to the leash somehow.

Or if he thought, no, I can put it all the way in there and then I'll just push it out. He probably thought there's no way it could go all the way in. It's also probably super impacted with the glue. Oh, clearly because he couldn't pass anything.

Oh. Can you imagine just being in your house and having a Pam can up there and knowing you needed to get it out? Talking yourself in and out of calling with three days straight. Yes.

Exactly what it was. I'm sure. Aw. I'm like.

It's really acceptance. It's going, you know what? This only ends in a hospital. I gotta accept that.

How often do we think you walked over to the toilet to try to get it out? Like every five minutes. Yes. Oh, this is something I would associate with like a late teenager like that felt good.

This felt good. Let's try this I would imagine you're experimenting. It's kind of way for me. No, but it's because he's afraid to leave his house because of the cat and stuff And he's only okay, but that is a may it is a weird age to be experimenting about whether you like cooking cans up your ass My aunt is either he already knew he loved that and this one just got away from them Well, I am only allowed in one story, but he did experiment with other things.

Oh wonderful No, you're free to tell us that prior to the can incident ballpoint pen and he tried that in his urethra Oh did not go well for him It was not surgical, but it was not what he wanted from the experience now that I hear this detail I wonder if part of his kink is being at the hospital getting that stuff removed That could be it's too many times to fuck up But do you think he'd wait five days and he just put it up and called the first incident was like a quick This is a trauma. It does not go good. It hurts. Also, that's not supposed to be pleasurable.

The can like I guess in theory Yeah, would be but you're you know, they say you start like he more and more spicy food as your taste buds wear out as you get older You know, maybe he's just he was desensitized to everything normal at this point. Oh my god I need something new. He's not the only person I've heard put something up a male urethra to try to obtain pleasure What this is why they need to teach better sex education unless there's a healthy way to do that Maybe there is no shame involved. I just know that that is something that people do to see pleasure Right.

I just want to know if it's ever worked. It must have won. I agree with you. Oh Laura What a tremendous story, you know, as soon as you hear something's in the rectum your mind Just you what's gonna be it's gonna be car keys and can a cooking spread?

That's big. Yeah, it's good size So every time everybody goes to the grocery store now Please imagine that in your rectum for five days. Well, Laura. Thank you so much for sharing that story with us and congratulations Thank you very much.

You'd be one stop shot for me. You could do everything. I pretty much need I mean, do you mind if we keep your number cuz we have ailments sometimes call me anytime? I won't be able to practice in California.

Dang. Okay, that's right better for you. Somehow it up So nice meeting you Laura. Yes, you guys too.

Thank you so much. All right. Take care. Bye.

What a sweetie. Oh, I loved her speaking I wasn't gonna ask her but this is gonna be hard We have about to have four nurses and I do have a medical issue. I've been keeping to myself. Oh, you asked one of them Maybe happy to get a rash.

It's not a rash. I just haven't told anyone. It's like David the lump or Well, kind of but I'm not scared to talk about it I'm just keeping it to myself because I don't want to spread the rumor that I'm a hypochondriac. Oh, but it does hurt Okay, let's ask Lucy.

Hi. Hello. How are you? I'm wonderful Are you intoxicated with the new spring and the warmth and the rejuvenation?

I would be except I'm studying for a graduate school exam right now So I am intoxicated with knowledge. Okay, and very little else. That's a powerful elixir We just talked to another nurse who's in graduate school as well. You guys work so hard.

You nurses. Yeah, definitely shout out to all the nurses during COVID era. Oh my god. That was some serious extra work for sure.

Yeah, are you wearing purple eyeshadow or is that the last? It's probably the glare full disclosure I had to fashion this whole little office scene. My professor does not know that I'm in his office currently Oh, he has less for work for the day and I was like what office has no windows and some not terrible lighting and probably good Wi-Fi. No, this is great.

Yeah, this is like two episodes in one. This is like one of you secret professors I have one of those two, but I'll say Listen you should try purple eyeshadow because it looks great. Oh, thanks Monica You say that you've been advised by your friend Monica to try it. Yeah, okay.

We're really excited to hear this Yeah, please tell us your crazy nurse story. So I'll start with a little framing I'm a new graduate nurse. I've got my hair done I'm wearing my cute new scrubs and I've got on a new watch that I got for graduation Yeah, and I'm just really excited It's like my second week ever of being a new nurse And so I've got my own patient now and I'm taking care of the gentleman in a neurointensive care unit So in neurointensive care, we do a lot of neuro trauma. So like motorcycle accidents brain and spinal cord Yes, a lot of stroke.

So this particular patient was a stroke patient He had a specific type of stroke called a subarachnoid hemorrhage, which is just a bleeding stroke that differs from what a blood clot stroke Correct. So we would call that like an ischemic stroke Which is like a clot for this particular stroke? He had lost the ability to talk and we actually didn't have a great explanation for that medically But this gentleman since the time of his stroke was not speaking and unfortunately he was also having a ton of liquid stool So diarrhea and I don't know how many nurse stories you guys have done yet But I suspect you will get a lot of poop stories. We love our poop stories.

Yeah, that's why the nurses are fun to party with This gentleman is having copious liquid stools filling the bed. Oh, not uncommon in our ICU patient population Unfortunately, they're electrolytes are imbalanced. You don't have to tell me about electrolyte. Yeah You just got her heart is a rock and you with the poop deck.

Yeah, we're both fixing to explode over here Well, that's the theme of this. So this gentleman's got a lot of liquid stool We've seen it a lot and if you didn't know this one of our great solutions in the ICU or liquid stool is actually to put in a rectal tube And so similar to like a fully catheter or urinary catheter that goes in your bladder and drains out. You're in Yeah, we can actually put in a big tube that you inflate the balloon inside the rectum Yeah, and then the stool just goes right through. Oh, I want this.

This is great It's a great invention. Yeah, as you can imagine though, not that fun to put in No, the new nurse you get a little bit hazed and anybody that needs a rectal tube. It's definitely your job Yeah, it also happened that this was my patient. Oh boy My senior nurse so the nurse who's training me is like, all right, you're putting in the rectal tube And I was like, okay, I got this.

So this is pre-covid. So all I'm wearing is just a nice pair of gloves base is fully exposed I'm wearing my cute scrubs. I got my hair down probably. Oh, I'm feeling cute.

Yeah, watch his glistening We lay this gentleman on his side and he's in position so to speak so that we can insert this rectal tube and you know Stually still kind of pouring out of him. So to insert this I just take my two fingers And I put it inside this little pocket where the balloon is that's gonna put this tube in and then you kind of Lube up your hands. So I just lubed up my fingers and then I gently start pressing this little balloon right against this gentleman's anus You've lubed up the balloon as well. Obviously the whole balloon is lubed up like loves are lubed up.

Yeah Up to your elbows and lubed. Yeah, you want to make this as comfortable of a process as possible And so I've got my two fingers my index and my middle finger just ready to insert and as you sort of introduce your fingers right to that area Things tend to get tighter and that's exactly what that anal stincter is supposed to do So this gentleman starts really clenching down So I push a little harder and he's clenching even harder and my senior nurse who's standing behind me is like, hey You need to push hard. Oh god. No action.

This gentleman is clenching more and more. He's airtight now Another nurse is kind of walking by she can sense that there's maybe some action going on in this room And so she pops her head in and she's like, oh, yeah, you need to push way harder than that So I keep pushing and at this point I've got some like forearm strength going into this I'm like eyes. I'm pushing pretty hard and they're like, all right Let's do a little bit more lube So I move up a little more I'm pushing a little harder And I think they think I'm being maybe lazy right on just timid because this is my first time doing it But I'm pushing pretty hard And as I'm pushing and pushing and pushing and pushing all of a sudden this gentleman coughs that are rather in over two moments And my entire four slides inside this man's body I am a guest You went from you could not get the tip in so you were fisting this poor gentleman My forearm is quite literally almost elbow deep in this man and the nurses behind me They've never seen anything like it. They don't know what to do Oh my god, this man turns his head to look at me and he says, what are you women doing fucking with my ass?

So we realize he could speak. Oh, no I do say that to this day that I cured this man. So then I have to slowly take my forearm out I'm sucking it out. You can imagine my entire forearm is now covered in this gentleman's feces I am so disgusted.

I look and I realize my brand new watch. Oh, no Turn to my senior nurses and I say I don't have my watch anymore And they were like well you took your watch off before we started right and I said no I was wearing my watch and they were like, do you think I said? Yeah, I think it's in there Hold on though. You got a balloon in there as well, right?

So the balloon is not yet inflated. Oh, so it is not airtight in there yet Uh-huh. I have to relude my hand for a reinsertion process to then retrieve my watch Which gratefully was just in what we call the rectal vault just inside the anus Was in there. Oh my god.

Yeah, I mean, that's what would have been tight on your way out That would have caught that watch. It's must have slipped right off my fingers and that duck bill position, you know, right? Oh my god Yeah, you were making your hand as small as possible to get it out of the man's body Oh, absolutely. And then of course I had to reinsert this rectal tube because all this mucking around to get the watch out dislodged the whole thing Oh my god This is such a nightmare And I kind of wish that that was the end of the story with this gentleman But a couple of weeks later, he's still in the ICU as you can imagine when we have these rectal tubes We want to do everything to bulk up people's tools so that it's not liquid anymore Yes, he achieves that goal and in fact kind of swings the other direction and now he's a little constipated rectal tubes out at this point I'm unfortunately his nurse again, but he's speaking so I've cured him.

That's amazing He says, you know what? I need to go to the bathroom. Can you help me to the bathroom say great help this gentleman to the bathroom? He's sitting in there and he's like, you know, I think it's gonna be a while I'm still feeling really constipated.

Would you mind bringing me the phone and I was like, yes sure thinking naively that this gentleman is gonna Be making some phone calls or maybe listening to voice messages while he's waiting for the magic to happen So this innocent little new graduate nurse brings him the hospital phone And I ended up knocking on the door every few minutes like how's it going in there? How are we doing if we accomplished our mission and he just kept yelling oh wait, oh wait come back finally after 20 minutes I was like I really have to check on him my senior nurses are like you have got to make sure he's okay Yeah, these senior nurses like they're writing like a rent a mule. Oh, they're brutal So I open the door and this man is let's say satisfying his other needs with a phone call to a special friend Okay, I mean he hasn't been talking and now we can talk again. Yeah, all the other functions have been restored.

Yep. Wow What a trip for him. He really came out on top I can't believe your whole arm was up his ass whole because it went past the glove, right? So your regular arm was in there.

Oh inches past the glove. Oh, yeah, she's not wearing like waiters Well, that's not like those gloves to wear for surgery. No, no for plumbing For plumbing. Yeah, you know like gloves you buy at home depot dishwashing plumbing.

Oh anything water related. Honestly I wish I had been wearing those I know would have helped you out. It wasn't all bad for nursing staff We now have like these little disposable gowns we can wear and for procedures like that. I think I would now Yeah, not just from this experience, but in general.

We don't want other people fluid on us anymore Yeah, we're past that. Oh, that was great. Oh Lucy. You've seen it all.

You've seen it all. You've touched it all. You've been all the way in Lucy what a pleasure meeting you. We wish you a ton of luck with your studies great to meet you guys Thanks so much.

Bye. Bye. We've talked to two nurses and we forgot to ask if they have munchausons I know shit shit. This episode was supposed to be brought to you by yeah, now.

It's can't be our sample size is now too small Well, we'll deduce if one doesn't one doesn't 50% we can go ahead Or we just limit to one and then we can say definitive. Okay, I'll have it none of a minute. Hello. How are you guys?

Michael is it Michael? It is yes. You have some beautiful garments behind you. Thank you.

They're my wife's I'm hanging out in her closet and she would be very upset with me if I did not mention that she is the one that got me into the show Uh-huh. You have her credit. Yeah, as with anything in my life. She gets the credit.

Okay, wonderful. Okay, so Michael, you are a nurse I presume I am the nurse for about six years mostly in critical care setting ICU setting. Okay, the story I'm going to share actually is from my time when I was a CNA so before I became a nurse and actually my first week as a CNA what's a CNA certified nursing yep certified nursing assistant very critical to the health care field definitely undervalued Yeah, before I get into the story I just think it's important for me to just mention that I'm not trying to be exploited as somebody who is going through a crisis going Through something that is either a chronic or a cute event for them. The thing that we often say in health care is you laugh So you don't cry.

Oh, yeah, that's kind of you to say and obviously you'll protect anyone's identity. Yep in this case I'm just going to say that she was a young woman I'm not gonna say if that was the actual case, but just to kind of protect the identity So this happened when I first moved to Richmond, Virginia I was working in politics looking for a job to kind of get me through to another cycle perhaps and a friend of mine Got me into mental health care working at a psychiatric hospital. Whoa. He said I can get you on you can be a CNA help the nurses He said it's a great job.

It's very interesting and that was an understatement Oh my god first week on the job first time on the floor where I was going to be working was considered the ICU for mental health This is my introduction to mental illness in America had not seen that up close before this Yeah, I bet it was quite shocking. Yeah, it is a locked unit the nurses station is locked as well They thought it would be a good idea to kind of get my feet wet and just kind of sit out with the patients and sit on the milieu You know watching patients walking around the unit I'm noticing one patient just kind of pacing up and down back and forth That's a common occurrence, but what's not common is that she then walked to a table and flipped the table upside down I stand up kind of push myself against the wall waiting for some help because I'm also locked out of the nurse station because I'm the new guy without a key Yeah, so eventually the nurses come out escort this patient to the back of the unit and they're like, okay We got to get her some medication to kind of help her relax help her calm down and she tells them initially that she's not taking shit The staff ends up having to gently put hands-on to administer what we call a B-52, which has been a drill out of Ann and held all Okay, the patient gets this medication. It doesn't work right away She continues to escalate so she disrobes and they're like, okay Well, she's back there by herself just kind of let her calm down on her own. Well, then she defecates on the floor Yeah, okay, well, we'll get to that later.

Let her just do it. Yeah, she then takes the shit. No, she starts eating Nope, nope, nope. Okay.

No one's like fine. Let's let her finish up. She's hungry. My eyes are huge at this point.

Yeah Really quick. What's the reaction of your colleagues? They've been there done that like was it no biggie or did that even raise some eyebrows? That was kind of the startling thing for me because some of them just like another Tuesday.

Yeah Learn a lot from the reaction. Oh, yeah, that's for sure. So even when you're a psychotic shit still takes like shit So it comes back up. She starts vomiting.

Oh my god. It's like triangle sadness Just absolutely awful. Oh, but the patient then still has her clothes with her and she then begins to tie them around her neck So now we have to go out with the patient to keep her safe She's covered in vomit and shit. Oh the walls are at floors are covered.

Oh, we down up It looked like what I would ultimately wear for Kobe patients. Mmm. Yeah, the gown on got the face shield on like your riot police And are you guys not allowed to just hand cover to the bed? Ultimately, like sometimes you do need restraint That's a great question.

This patient did end up in restraints for a period time until she was able to calm down Okay, but it took us getting her in there while she was covered in her own excrement. Oh, you know, it's a sad reality But I realized that day is that the janitorial services although they are great They do not clean up any bodily fluids and that is up to the nursing staff as well That's a boundary that the janitors They said we got to draw a boundary I get it if I could set that boundary. I would set it for myself as well. Well, and then you were low man on the totem pole Did you have to oh, yeah, I was out there cleaning it up as well and you kept at it.

That's what's crazy You stuck with the job. I remember going home that night and just looking at my wife and I was thinking like I have no idea What I got myself into here. Yeah, yeah, I ended up absolutely loving it ended up going back to school for nursing And that's what I'm still doing now. It was a calling.

Yeah, that was fuel It takes such a special person to be I'm telling I say this all the time here I'm more grateful for nurses I think when you're in trouble and you can't control your bowels. Yeah, you don't get thrown in a pit and lit on fire But there's kind of people who care for you is impossible. I know I appreciate you saying that munchows. Oh, do you have munchows in disorder?

Do I know we regret it? We were supposed to be pulling you guys to find out how many suffered from moonshowsen. Yeah, but we forgot for the first two So now we're down to a 50 percent. Yeah, we're gonna have to sample a big conclusions from very few numbers Okay, so no much else for you.

That's a no. I'm like all right great. Okay. Well, it's great meeting you.

Thank you so much for telling us that story Yeah, thank you guys so much. All right. Bye. Bye Man What a life so far nurses don't have moonshowsen.

Zero percent so far. They say they over index, but I'm not seeing it Not in our studies. We can assume the first to do. No, we're doing real science here both of them started with an L Yeah, so yeah, looks like probably they have moonshows in their names.

Mm-hmm. That's weird too. Hello. Hey guys.

Oh my god Look at your cool hat. Okay. This is my roommates hat. Oh, okay.

Look at your roommates cool. It's very cool He loves you guys and it was black and she tied at it. Oh my god for the audience. It's an armchair.

Yeah armchair expert Established whatever one point. It was established. All right. Am I using your real name?

Is it Brianna or Brianna Brianna? Got the southern twang in there. It's perfect. Okay, where are you at in the world?

I am in Jackson, Mississippi We've not met a ton of folks from Jackson, Mississippi. No way. I'm sure you have a small kid or oxing the song about it. Okay, the fame.

Good start If you guys come down, we have a lot of southern food. You'll leave with quite two diabetes. I'm sure okay. That's always my goal on vacation.

I get very close And are you born and raised in Jackson? I was born and raised in Jackson. I just moved back a couple years ago from Nashville I was a Nashville for about four years. Why'd you leave?

That's where we're going. So it was a hard move But I was in the international guard and their base is here and I was a flight nurse with them Okay, and so it's getting really hard to travel back and forth. So I came back home probably will venture off somewhere It's hard for me to stay in one spot. Well, that's why one joins the military.

I suppose that's right So you're a nurse. I am before we hear your story. Do you have moonshows in disorder? Absolutely not you don't I have seen it you have seen it though in the nurse population not as a nurse Oh, you see people admitted who had moonshowsens.

How do you proceed in that without I guess disrespecting but you have to Yeah, what do you do? It's hard. You got to play along you do and obviously it's not like you see the patient for the first time You're like boom. That's what they have right, but it's the track record of coming in so many times and then Yeah, there being nothing wrong.

Yes, it is tricky. It's a lot. Also. I'm now realizing there's a very thin line between hypochondria and moonshows Well, right when you're intentionally trying to get attention, but it's on the same continuum.

I think right. I agree I would like to actually talk to maybe like a psychiatrist or something and ask them how do you differentiate between the two? Yeah, because I was always under the impression that munchows and especially munchows by proxy when you make someone say yeah You actually are sick because you like drank the bottle of cough medicine so that when you go in there's a real something quote wrong What's hypochondria? You're just worried something's wrong And I agree that's the distinction, but I'm just now realizing those are very close neighbors I've seen the by proxy.

Well, it's a mother to a sign that would bring you to the emergency room It was a young boy. They are probably not as aware, but you would do these million-dollar workups because you have to obviously listen to what the patient says Yeah, you can't risk that you're wrong. It's hard. Oh wow.

Well, that wasn't even your crazy nurse story No, but work in the emergency room. You have so many of them. Uh-huh. I'm sure hard to pick one I bet Nothing surprises me this story.

I'm gonna tell you guys is definitely on my top top top Okay, great. Great. Great. So I did trial and nursing for a while.

So this wasn't in the state of Mississippi It was in another emergency room. I took an assignment in and I was working night shifts We usually get three to four room assignments in the emergency room and the nurse that had the day shift will give us that report about what's going on So get there everyone's huddled around the nurse's station. I'm like, oh gosh What is it this time? And they were like Brianna you have room 10 get ready.

Oh god. Oh, that's all the warning Right, and I'm a black cloud. I was known for that which in the nursing world means you're the person that when you come on to the shift Everything goes to shift. Oh, no.

Oh boy I'm pretty immune to this. I was like, okay, I'm ready for it. Whatever. Let's bring it to back it up when I walked in You have to pass room 10 and I looked on the floor and I see these white feathers Good.

I'm not thinking anything yet, right? I haven't heard the story white feathers Wow, it could be a pillow could be an animal right anything So the nurse takes me just a little bit outside the ring the door shot She says I need to tell you the story before you go in Yeah, so if you're not shocked and so she proceeds to tell me that boyfriend and girlfriend they are dressed in chicken costumes Oh my god They were role playing obviously boyfriend is the rooster and Obviously, you never know you never know guy could want to be a hen I was being very sarcastic that anything obvious would be a part of any of these sentences Apparently boyfriend wants mother hen here to sit on eggs and then continue to have sex stop the sex sit on some eggs resume The sex that kind of back and forth watch you sit on some eggs because it arouses you apparently Okay, and then uses the eggs because obviously they're gonna break the fragile as like a lubrication. Oh Bad idea. Yeah, I had a lot of questions.

Yeah, sure So that was I guess what was going down here and as I continued eggshells were being put Further of course. Oh, good old friend decides. Okay, this is hurting. So let's take a pause from this Oh, I guess they decided to keep their chicken costumes on and come to the emergency room as if this is not as embarrassing as it should be Right.

What was shocking to me is that there was no embarrassing sense in the room at all This is what we were doing. This is normal. Wow. Good for them.

They would not be shamed Yeah, you own your stories, but there's a practical aspect of this Which is like clearly get out of the chicken outfit before you go in the room because even what's law enforcement to think that you've just Robbed a bank in disguise. I mean you can't be driving around look at chicken I mean you can we live in a free country of course you can but it's not advisable now I mean you can get pulled over in a chicken outfit and if it's all this or I'm sorry, but we have to go to the emergency room Then you have to do your story all over my wife's vagina's full of eggshells. Oh wow. That's gonna be terrible And so there is a bedside pelvic exam you can do in the emergency room and of course that's what we did But there were some other things going on so a plot twist at the end of the story is it's not just eggshells There's a hot dog There's a hot dog in there.

This is so out of a genre. This is like a cowboy appearing in pulp fiction This makes no sense. This is like the rumor. Yeah, so the rumor on every high school or something gets a hot dog stuffed up There vagina, but really that's never happened.

I guess it has yes It has this is my first time experience and we do see a lot of foreign bodies in the rectum But this was definitely a new experience They did end up sending her surgery to make sure there was no fragments left behind because I believe it had been there for a minute And she was having other symptoms, you know, not just pain, but discharge and whatnot Oh boy. Wow, so they got her all cleaned up and sewn up and everything and were you in a small enough town that you saw them again? I did not see them again if it were me I would move This was a small town, a very small town because usually the assignments you take as a nurse are in towns where they can't get a lot of staffing There's a big shortage. Yeah, I can't believe they were still in their costumes when you walked in there Like this has nothing to do with shame of their sexual routine.

No, I'm so supportive of it It's a little blowhardy to show up in the outfits. I agree. Oh wow Well, Rihanna, that was incredible. I'm happy for you and sorry for you that you witnessed all that all at once I feel the same way to this day.

Well, it's great meeting you. Yeah, thanks for sharing. Good luck with everything. Thank you.

You too. All right. Take care All right, bye. Bye.

It's a mystery. I didn't realize these would become mysteries. We know zero percent one thousands zero percent Yeah, although she's observed it, but that doesn't count from nurse the nurse population. Yeah, so zero percent That's the lowest rate of anything ever what we learned a lot and honestly from the bottom of my heart.

God bless you nurses I mean, honestly, I'm so grateful. Yeah, it's crazy. The bravery is true sacrifice Yeah, but you know the actions good like I can also see the appeal shit's happening. You're not bored at work Especially in that I see you All right, well, I love you.

I actually doubt anyone will hear any of this because I'm gonna tell them very firmly not to listen to this episode at the top so all right