Armchair Anonymous: Stalking (Part 2)

Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. Boy, I know people are impatiently awaiting this. Part one of stalking was like, we put out Dr. Death or something.

The comments were like, people screamed, they pulled their car over the breeze for a while. That was such a pop out. Oh my lord. Yeah, whoo.

Part two delivers too. And almost maybe think we could have a whole show about stalking. Probably which is such a bummer. It is a bummer.

I think I was nervous putting out the first one cause I'm like, it's such a rough topic. Implicit in it as someone who scared out their mind cause of somebody. But then when I realized like, no, we love, it's like murder show. It's true crime.

It's true crime. We love true crime. And I hate this crime cause it's almost impossible to convict anyone of anything. That is the through line for sure.

It's like true crime, but maddening true crime. Yes. Okay, so this is stalking part two, please enjoy. All times coming up.

Good times. Take them slow. My life. I had a boat.

You gotta know. I'm shining. Hi. How are you?

I'm well, how are you? Good, where are you? Austin, Texas. Oh, baby.

My home away from home. Also you're in a beautiful fort. A homemade TP kind of. Thank you.

Lovely. Thank you. I'm so glad you're here. Almost all out.

Wow. Okay, you have a stalking story? Yeah. We don't know what to expect now.

We don't know what to expect now. We're halfway through. We won't make any assumptions. Yeah, yeah.

I wanted to preface with I will end on an upswing. Okay. Thank you. Good to know.

It's gonna get a little low for a bit. Sure. I am gonna go buy Skylar if that's okay. Great.

Skylar, love it. Connected to good hunting. Because I've also my favorite movie. Oh, fuck yes.

Hunting sisters. Hunting sisters. Ben and Matt. Yes.

So I grew up with a really, really strong familial connection. Have a big family. And I'm very loved. However, there was a bit of a turn starting from pretty much the beginning of me being able to form a memory.

We had someone who would sock our entire family, including our immediate family, so myself, my parents, as well as people in our extended family. So she had a job that had access to this was late 80s, 90s. And was it in Texas? Yes.

I don't want to know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Her job gave her access to people's addresses and phone numbers at the time. So she was able to track down our family numbers and would call excessively.

This was pre-LRD, pre-self phones. So this is your home line being obsessively called all hours of the day. And this is like our whole family. So it escalated to she would come to our homes.

We would come out to go to preschool and work and all the windows in our cars would be snapped. Oh, God. Did she have a connection to you guys? That will come.

Great, great, great. Okay. It's one of those many twists. Are you Latina?

Yes. Okay. Were you thinking this was like racially motivated at all or what was the explanation for why someone would be vandalizing? I really don't know like in my child brain what I consider the motivation or how I explained it to myself and my parents never really pull out to explain it at this point.

It was just there's a crazy person going to quote and so I had no idea. So this continues. There's more incidents where she would show up. I was at my grandparents last one day with my little cousin.

She showed up with a guy. Oh, my God. My uncle and my grandfather had to chase her off the property and eventually got her out. My grandmother had to take me in my cousin into the restroom back in there.

This is so traumatic. It's a lot. Yeah. We eventually moved.

She found us there. When you guys would go to the police? What would the police say? So the explanation from police is that something physical has to happen.

So the amplification and stuff like that. You couldn't prove it. And so she was always gone by the time police would come. Yeah, in the 80s and 90s, the cops are like, well, we got to catch her murdering you and then we'll know that now too.

Yeah. So that's one of the things I was talking. It's a rough one. So we moved.

We got a nice new house. It's too sorry. My bedroom is on the second floor and she would come just to kind of torment us and especially me. She would come and park in the driveway and shine her lights into my bedroom window.

So like I would know she was there just an intimidation. It was all just intimidation with like slight violence. It got to the point where I was in such an anxious state that I would arm crawl along my floor to avoid the windows and nobody knows when I threw the stuff. It was just what I did as a child.

So like, oh, nobody really understood anxiety at that time. Yeah. The long term effects of this on your brain. Yes.

You'll also get to that. So there are more incidents that happened. She tried to run my mom and I off the road at one point and that's actually what got their restraining order. And so we would take a picture to my school, show them, let them know she's never allowed.

I was on the outside alone. I would always have to have an adult around. We had a call to the sack. She would come and park in the call to the sack and just stare.

Oh my God. And so I just like ran inside. I'm a terrible guess of why this is happening, but I'll patiently wait. Yeah, I do it.

Let's see. So eventually I start figuring out that dad is a little bit of a womanizer. There we go. He is an addict, which I already knew.

Does he live with you guys though? I hope it's all I was about eight. But then things continue. So on my 11th birthday, which, top of corn.

Boom. Yeah. And also, after Christmas. I mean, you guys mentioned that.

The horse ramp. Oh, wow. Yeah. That's a real flaky you.

But I actually really like it. I don't know. I love the fanfare around the time. So yes, we would do a thing every morning of my birthday after my cancer horse.

If I'd come over, we'd watch the news. They would send in my picture and the news would like show you a picture. Yeah. It's a pretty good clue of how small of a fairy you lived in, by the way.

So cute. So he would come over, we'd watch the news and see my picture and celebrate. And so he comes over and we get a phone call. My mom answers it and she says it's in the southern name.

And I'm like, oh, it's my cousin calling to wish me a birthday. So go to the phone and answer it. She is on the other line. She starts yelling all kinds of crazy things.

And it's just like one giant rant of basically me and your daddy had sex and you have a brother. Oh my God. She just starts yelling at me. Ice cream.

11th birthday. Wait, why did her mom give you the phone when she knew she gave a fake name? Oh, she gave the name of my husband. Yeah.

So at this time there was all her ID, but she would do it to where it came out of area, right? Or it would come up as a number like a number that wasn't public or family ended up making her numbers private. You know, and so she lied to get to me. Said that ice cream dad comes running in yelled at her cusses are out.

You know, they convinced me they sent me down and they say she's just trying to hurt you. Oh, it's not true. This is their big opportunity to come clean. Yeah, I know.

They blow this one out. So you're 11. It's like, oh, God. Oh, my God.

Yeah. So I am convinced this is nothing. It's her trying to hurt me. And I'm like, OK, great.

Carry on in life a few months later. Sit me down again. CPS had been called on her for my brother. He was found not in great shape.

And so they moved him from the home and my dad was going to attempt to have cussy. And so at that point, they did have to let me know. Yeah. That I have a three year old brother, not just a new brother, a three year old brother.

You had one for three years. Ah, so fast forward. I guess a little bit. This carried on a little bit more.

She was a lot more careful about it, especially with everything with my brother and custody. And it was rough because I was forced to be around her at times because she would have to come to come to my brother or if they had supervised visitations, I would have to talk along in the car while my dad went and did all this. So it was a lot of just situations that I did not know how to get out of. And I couldn't really comprehend at that time.

And just like my little childhood brain was not putting it all together. No, I don't think the adults in the situation can even manage this level of craziness and stress. Yeah. And so eventually, thanks, take it off.

I moved to Austin and was kind of read in a way that would age. Did you go early? Fine. 20.

And it really gave me kind of like a second lot on things and a freedom to like not be afraid of who's around me. Yeah. I'm a hyper-vigilant person. How could you not be?

Yeah, exactly. And so, you know, I moved here. As I was getting older, I started piecing together more and more things for my childhood. And in my 20s and early 30s, it really drove me into like a deep kind of depression and anxiety of trying to figure out like who do you trust if you couldn't even trust your family growing up?

Yes. Who do you trust if you're like your parents like you over so much, which I know it happens. But also that was my narrative is like everybody goes through shit. And so I just kept saying like, well, everybody goes through shit.

And then a couple of times in my 20s and like early 30s, I talked about what I got through and they're like, I'm not going to really go through that shit. Yes. Exactly. I know exactly what you're saying.

But you have like a boyfriend or a girlfriend and you're kind of hearing about their childhood and you're like, oh, okay, well, boy, they got lucky. Yeah. That's nice. Yeah, that sounds really nice.

It's weird because it's such a juxtaposition where I have these beautiful experiences in childhood, especially my parents from the outside. Everything looks great. And then even talking to some of my family members, I'll tell them what happened growing up and even they're kind of unaware of like the deaths of everything. Yeah.

And so I went through a real ditch for a bit. So I've been a private chef for a while. I was in general, I want cooking because it takes away my values also. And I hadn't listened to podcasts yet.

Your podcast came out back to boys and fans. And so that was the first podcast I ever listened to was when you guys came out, fell in love with the amount of guys. And we have like a lot of things going along the way. I have literally listened to you guys once every day for since you've been on.

And so I started doing the work and one day I was sitting on a beach somewhere that I was driving and a friend had joined me and we were talking and I was like, I think you already started dating again. And she was like, are you? And I'm like, yeah, I think so. And so she's like, let's not all of your crazy things like what your dream person is.

I will sit out. We got a message on Instagram from the person who was from a past. And on my list was someone from a past that could come back in and knew me before I was like, really, really down. And I was like, I think I've done the work between talking and blind and all this stuff that really created this anxiety and like, bubble of unknown for me.

Like I didn't know how to get out. I was like, actually, I've always really liked this person. This is the person that like really outlines everything that I would want. And so I'm forward to a couple weeks later.

He ends up asking me out on date when you're on a first date and we reconvened and now we've been together for almost three years. Yeah, I love it. This is such a happy new day. Oh no!

Hey! Yeah, and it's just been a real full circle to be here, I have to say. I had to think with that part because really it's helped me, I've been in therapy for over two years now. Our relationship really brought out a lot of things that I had pushed down and needed to really work out and the next level of stuff that I needed to work out.

I feel like I would have gotten there eventually, but truly listening to you guys talking to you so open with everything really gave me the confidence and just the support of myself to be able to redefine what I want in life and go for it. Oh buddy. That's so nice. That's really very cool.

I have a really good dream life going on. I'm private chefing all over. I've private chef for a lot of your guests, the friends. Oh my god, amazing.

I'm heavily in the background. It's a dream. Next time we're at Austin, we have to do a chefing. We need you to come cook for us.

Oh, a lot of our ladies. I didn't know how to say sound to that, but I want to eat your food. I would love to eat. And also my boyfriend, he's also a chef.

One of the top restaurants. I think chefs over index and vulnerable status. I'm a vulnerable girl status. I agree.

Yeah, I really do. All the chefs I've met, I can see in them. I'm just anxiety healing happening within cooking. I just had to add, this is so superficial.

You look 19. When you were saying you've been in Austin for 20 years, I'm like, okay, so you came in your baby. Yeah, it's impossible. I mean, you really look like you're in early 20s.

Yeah, you're probably wearing sunscreen. No way. Yes, she does. She does.

She wears it. Also, I have the filter on here and I put my camera on. Oh man. I wish we could hug each other right now.

Okay. All right. We'll have your email from Emma in for Monica and I are in Austin. We must.

You have to cook. I'll cook you as I'm, you cook Monica. We'll do a cooking roulette. Thank you for chatting with us.

Yeah, great meeting you. Thank you so much for everything that you do. I got a big. Thank you.

Bye. All right. Take care. Okay.

This reminds me that one time when I was working at UCP, this woman came in and her stalker was, she had a restraining order against him, but he was outside. A performer? No, he was just standing outside. She was stuck.

She was like, I don't know where to go. And I was like, one or five. Stuck me to deal with that. Yeah.

I'll deal with that. Oh, it smells. Hi. You are a woodland nymph.

That's immediately obvious. I feel like under my desk. Could you pick a name for me? Okay.

I'm going to go with Ariel. Oh, I like that. Let's go with Ariel. Okay, great.

Are you allowed to tell us where you're at or is that not a great idea? I think it's important to the story. So I live in New York City. I live in Brooklyn.

The big city. You look like a Brooklynite. Yeah, I love it. Slash.

Did Peter Pan have a sidekick? Oh, Wendy. Tinkerbell. Yes, there it is.

I'm wearing green. No, it's you have a very sweet magical looking face. Oh, thank you. That's the best compliment ever.

I've seen here about this. All right. Let's go with the story. Did I just jump into it?

Yeah, just jump in. First of all, after submitting my story to the show, I went back and back and checked a few things and I've updated a few details. Okay. My memory of this time period feels hazy.

And I think maybe that's the way that my brain is coping, but I'm fine now. Okay. That's good to know that. That's good to know that.

But I have some notes here for that reason. Like, just keeping on track in case I get lost. So this takes away since 2019. I was 21 years old and I was living in New York City.

I was on Tinder when I met a guy and I guess we need a fake name for him Peter. Peter. What's so weird? I was about to say Peter.

on Tinder and he's very handsome. When you quickly tell me I've never been on those, but Tinder's what vibe? Is that one like let's get together and make out or that's going on a day or somewhere in between? Yeah, it's definitely more let's make out.

So we were both out of long term relationships, so we were looking for something more casual, but also fun. Like we would definitely hang out a lot during the day and go on day trips to different parts of the city and we were just really fun to be around. And so we were doing that for a few months and then one day I received a DM on Instagram from a girl that I didn't know. Okay.

And she was asking me if I could meet her that day at a coffee shop in our neighborhood. And so of course I had to go find out what this was all about. Okay now she would acknowledge some people wouldn't know and you would have I would have. Oh I want to know the T.E.

Yeah. What would you have done Monica? God. Probably not right?

Probably not, but I probably would have been like I don't want to meet you, but what is this regarding? I had a feeling. Yeah. Okay.

My gut was like I know what this is about. So I went and met her and a third girl and a fourth girl who was joining us on a FaceTime because she couldn't make it there personally. Okay. Yep.

Oh. He's got a real scandal going. It's impressive actually. It's a class action lawsuit.

It is impressive. It's like how are you juggling all this? For real though, and they basically lay out for me what had been going on which is that he was seeing all of us simultaneously and for other girls who couldn't be there. It wasn't either.

So you were kind of the most recent acquisition? I don't know to this day. I don't know how many more people there were. The gist that I got was like he was waking up in one girl's bed going to hang out with another for the day and going to a third sleep at her place.

He was just like a drifter and just always good. How long were you guys three months? You were together three months and were you exclusive-ish? It was a little more than three months.

It must have been like four or five I want to say and we hadn't said that we were exclusive, but we were spending like it felt like we were getting there eventually. For some of these girls they actually had decided to be exclusive. So he was definitely in the wrong lines for CrossD. Yes.

We also found out that he'd been lying about being a student and going to a school. That seemed really kind of dark to me, but I guess how would you have time to go to school if you're doing all this? Well, it sounds like school is just an excuse to buy himself time to be away from the other eight girls. Like I have class on this day.

What was the age gap? Was there an age gap? He was about four years older than me. Yeah, very good excuse, perfect excuse.

So I called him and I confronted him and I was like, please never contact him again. That was a weird behavior. Then later that day when I got back to my apartment he was sitting on the stoop. He really wanted to talk about it because he insisted it was all a big misunderstanding.

So I gave him like five, 10 minutes nodding my head, not believing anything he's saying. I go back up into my apartment and I think I'm never going to see him again. But that was not the case for the next few days. He would be on my stoop walking by my building or hanging around on the street that I lived on.

And you ever been to Hivesauce? I had, yeah. He has a place to live technically. He was also blowing up my phone, like just constantly calling me to the point where I couldn't use my phone because it was getting hot.

And then I blocked him and he would just continue to do that through no-color ID. And then one night I watched him sit on the sidewalk across the street in the pouring rain and just cry. It's very dramatic. At any point did he say, yes, there's all these people, but I actually am in love with you.

And so I'm willing to get rid of all this and you are the one of these 12. That was exactly the story he was trying to tell me. Yeah. Hard to know.

Also possible. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter. She is not interested in being with someone who would ever do that. Of course, it doesn't even matter but is also interesting and relevant. It is interesting.

Yeah. Yeah, because there's two versions of this. He's going to all eight of them and saying they're the ones and crying. Or Ariel is the one that he's like, oh, fuck my behavior is caught up with me and I'm about to lose a girl that I actually am in love with.

I'm a sex addict when I'm in love with it. I don't know. It doesn't matter. You're not going to be with them, but it's also interesting.

My theory now is that he saw me as an easy target because I had a lot of empathy. I'm naive. I was younger than the other girls. Okay.

Okay. And so him crying on the sidewalk. Definitely looking back now, I'm like, that was a great way to manipulate me. Pulling at my heartstrings.

Yeah. And I think I made the mistake in the beginning of trying to talk to him and reason with him. I begged him to just cut it out and go home. I tried asking.

Kindly. I tried asking angrily. I tried reaching out to his mom, his dad, just asking them if they could talk to him and his friends and nothing seemed to be working. So I tried a new tactic, which was I'm going to ignore him.

Yeah. Which they say, and we probably just said this much earlier in this episode, but they say the number one technique for a stalker is to absolutely cut off all communication because right, they can use anything as confirming that you were still interested. Even if you're like, fuck off, I hope you die. I don't know.

They're like, they still care. Look how passionate they are. Definitely a mistake. I made the beginning and I would never do again.

So I stopped even asking him to leave me alone. Like I just pretend he didn't exist. And I thought that maybe if I gave him zero attention, he'd have nothing to feed off of. And maybe he'd get bored and just give up and go home.

But things just got worse. He started showing up at the subway station near my job. He used to work in retail and then near the subway station near my apartment. I would be in a train car.

I could feel him sailing at me from the other train car. I was pretend like he wasn't there. Like I would pretend like I didn't know he was following me. Oh, God.

And then he'd pull the whole calling my job and just breathing into the phone multiple times a day, which I'm assuming was him because I don't know anyone else. Yeah, I was definitely him. Safe to say that ignoring him was not going well. And then one night I got off the train, not forgetting how to work.

And I was walking home in the dark and he just sort of appeared. Kept my head down. I was trying to like walk faster to stay home as fast as I can. And like I said, ignoring him was not working.

And it turns out it just made him mad. And eventually I was just a long sprinting and he was chasing me. No. What was the duration from the breakup till the chasing at night?

Probably three weeks. That was the night I actually decided to file a police report and get a temporary order of protection. I thought that it would be enough to make him stop, but it seemed like there was no impact on his behavior whatsoever. Even the temporary restraining order?

Yeah. That's when I got scared. I wasn't really scared until that point where I'm like, oh, you're so crazy. That's not even going to stop you don't care.

Oh my God. And then his actions just seemed to get more bold. He would come into my apartment building and knock on my door and try to talk to me through my apartment door. He threw rocks at my window at night and he started to message in her ass to my family and friends, which is where I was drawing the line.

Like he shouldn't message my younger sister. That's crazy. So I lost track of how many times he was arrested for breaking the order of protection, just because I would call them whenever something like this would happen. Especially when I saw him outside on my stupid, I needed to go to work or go somewhere.

But whenever they'd get there, usually he'd already be gone and there was nothing they could do. Sometimes they would catch him around the corner trying to get away or whatever. But he was arrested so many times. And I'm sure I racked up, I don't know how many phone he's at that point, because I had turned from temporary order protection to a more serious one.

Every time he was arrested, he would just be released and be back doing the same thing after 24 hours, like four days max. And I know when he was out, because my phone would just start blowing up again. I think maybe he was able to do this because his family is pretty wealthy. If they had political connections, I'd like to have more faith in our system.

But I think that definitely played a large part in that. Well, that certainly answers the question I had about how he's supporting himself. He clearly can't have a job and have this sex addiction and the stalking. Yeah, mommy and daddy.

And you told the parents. So they're in the know about this. They knew exactly what was going on. And I had tried to reason with them.

Like I think at one point I was like, I'll do anything. I'll drop the charges that you can just make him stop. It's ruining my life right now. And I just need to get up and go to my job and go to classes.

Like I have a life that I need to be living. And I was trying to do that as normally as I could, but it was so disruptive and time consuming. Did you stay in touch with any of the gals you had had this coffee with to find out if they too were being stalked by him? I was.

They were not experiencing any of this. I don't think you would have had time for two, but he surprised me before. So the detective assigned to my case would give me rides to work some mornings. And then there would be like a patrol car parked outside my apartment for hours.

It seems like they were like working in shifts, but it didn't stop. After another one of those incidents, I was in my kitchen with a police officer and was like, I'm not supposed to tell you this, but like this isn't the first time that he's done this. He has a history of this sort of behavior. So that was also really scary.

Like, okay, not only does he not care about it now, he's never cared about it. And then around this point is when he started to post these concerning social media posts, like photos on his story where he's definitely on top of like the Williamsburg Bridge and looking down on the water. And then he posted a photo from the river from the building, like looking down at the sidewalk. And it took me a second to realize that was my building.

No. I call the police. I explained to them, he's on my roof. Can you please like help me?

And when they arrived, they couldn't find him on top of the roof and they got annoyed with me. They're like, you're taking time away from other things that are happening. Kind of made it seem like I was being dramatic and looking for attention. But then that same night, he was arrested for breaking and entering into a building to building a sound from mine, which I didn't know about until like a few days later.

And then when I was home alone, because it was winter break and both of my roommates were back with their families and I was in bed. The lights were off. I was trying to go to sleep and I start hearing tapping at my window. And I had a firescape right outside my window.

So I knew probably what was happening. And my plan was like, I'm going to lay here and ignore it and lay dead. The lights are not being turned on. He needs to think that I'm not here.

But then I could hear him getting into the window somehow. Like, I don't know how he managed to open it. It seemed like it was like a night or something, but it was an old building. So it probably wasn't that hard.

And then I ran to the kitchen to get a knife with no intention to actually use it. I was just like, I had this in my hand so that he knows I'm serious. As he like comes to the window, I'm like, I've called 911. They're on their way.

You need to exit through the front door of my apartment. And I'm like, escorting him out with a knife in my hand, which I was surprised by how easy it was to do that when you had a knife in your hand. How bold you could be. Right.

And very creepy. Like still trying to talk to me telling me that you love me and like all this weird stuff. And then when he left, I think I was so tired at that point. I didn't even call the police because what are they going to do when I get here?

He's not here. Like they're going to make us seem like I was looking for attention again around mid-December now. So all this had been going on for quite some time. Mid-December of what year?

2019. 2019. Okay. I woke up one morning and I saw that I had no missed caller ID calls.

And I was like, whoa, what's happening? I opened my Instagram to find a post from one of his best friends. And it was like the tribute post. It was like rest in case, Peter.

Oh my god. Yeah. I had a feeling that time that's happened. And like my stomach dropped and I went and I looked at his most recent Instagram posts and had 30 plus comments from friends and even his younger brother and their ready things like you will be missed and his younger brother had commented, rest in heaven, big bro, crying emoji.

I love you. Oh my gosh. So I'm completely distraught. Like I have never lost someone similar in age and that I knew and I had to go save my parents for a week and just try to process everything and I didn't leave my bed.

And I was at the same time feeling a lot of denial. Like this can't be real. But I know that's also part of breathing. So I was refreshing my Google search for like obituaries for Peter and eventually actually reached out to his mom and I offered my sincere condolences and she thanked me.

And then I called his dad who was divorced from his mom, mixed rest of my condolences. And he had no idea what I was talking about. What? Oh my god.

So I start to realize like, oh, this is fucked up. I text his mom and all I say is that I spoke with Peter's dad, period. And she sends me a text which is definitely not intended for me. It's intended for Peter.

No. And I have a screenshot of it. It says obviously he must have said that he is unaware of something happened to you. She just trumped us which was pretty sneaky.

If your father doesn't know it means it's not true. You see it's backfiring as I told you. What in the flying fake to death and the brothers in on it and the moms in it. What kind of fucking twisted family.

So I never texted back to her or anything. Like I just left it at that. I was like, wow, that's a whole new level of crazy. And after like a week and a half of me falling my eyes out.

Yes. And probably feeling weird guilt even though you should never. But oh, blaming myself being like, oh my god, if not for me, this person would probably still be alive for a week and a half. That's a long time.

You're a better person than me. If I would have woke up to know thing and I saw it killed himself, I'd be like, thank fucking god. I would feel relieved and then I would feel like guilt about feeling relieved. I would have felt happy and I would have strutted on the street and whistled.

And I'd be like, yeah, it was him or me and it was him. Victor. Well, this is insane. Me now would do that.

I trusted people. I think that's what feels so weird about it. So as soon as that happens, the no-caller idea starts right back up. I have to go back to Brooklyn.

I need to go to work because I need to pay my rent. And I'm so tired that when the detective is like, there's not much else we can do for you. Like we know how this plays out. We've seen it before.

It doesn't go well for you. Do they advise you to get a gun at any point? No, they didn't. Why don't they arrest him permanently?

I can't with the justice system. And even if they did, what would that do for him? He needs help. Yeah, but he can't be out on the street doing this to people.

Harming people. Yeah. And the recommendation was you need to relocate and I'm like, great. So how do I pay for that?

Because I need to break a lease. I need to move things. Are you going to pay for that? No, but you can reach out to these domestic violence shelters.

And I did. And obviously there's people on those lists that need help way faster. So I didn't have time like that. So I ended up selling a lot of my stuff like my whole closet and using my savings and breaking my lease and getting out of there.

He did still continue to bother me even after I moved back to my parents for like maybe a few months, but at over time it just slowed down. And then July 7, 2021 is when he pleaded guilty to all the charges and the court sent in Sam to participate in like a mental health program. However, because of COVID, I don't actually know if he ever had to do it. Whoa, so you're still kind of living with this?

He's out there. Oh my God. I don't feel scared of him anymore or the situation. Do you spy on him at all like with a phantom account?

I don't even want to go there. There was a few other incidents that are notable that happened since I moved back to my parents on January 23, 2021. I got a call from my DA and I was like, have you heard from him because he is a missing person right now? And I think what happened was that he was pulling the fake death thing again on someone else.

Because they found him a few days later. Fuck, this is wild and terrifying. It's crazy. Yeah.

When I'm talking about it, I don't really feel like it's real. You're probably disassociated about it, which you have to do first. I hate to prescribe the source of the problem as a man, but I also think if we could get some renegade buck in there like me who's just dying to defend somebody, can you get like a watchdog? Could you follow the hillbilly?

Who could I call? And you can serve us for that, honestly. Yeah, I volunteer. Like I want to be there and I want to see him on the thing.

I want to go there and just beat the fuck out of him. I want to come back up and beat the fuck out of him again. And after 12 or so ass meetings, I feel like that might be the only solution left because the cops aren't helping. So maybe it's time for some bounty law.

I actually saw him in person once. So I moved back to New York City. I wanted to finish my degree and I got all that done. But it was the summer of 2022 when I was sitting in Bryant Park having a snack on a bench and I added nowhere.

Like I wasn't even thinking about him. I just had this intense feeling that he was about to walk in. No. On my right hand side, in my head, I counted down.

I was like four, three, two, one. And he walks into the park. He sits down on a bench near me. In my head, I'm like, I expected this.

I'm not surprised, but I'm also like scared. I'm just the layering at him though, like with rage. And he looks at me, realizes who it is and like gets up and walks away so fast. And he looked really scared.

Interesting. I'm inclined to try to make sense of all that. And you just can't make sense of what's going on in someone like that's head. Yeah, there's no predicting.

Wow, what a story. Oh, man. Oh, I'm so sorry, all that fucking happened. I know it's so corny about I'm much better because of it.

Like I needed to learn a lot of things that I got out of that. Well, that's a very glass half full takeaway. I have to be that way. You did not deserve it.

No. I have to be taught that lesson. But you were as fuck. I'm so sorry.

It's OK. I really it is. I mean, it's not that he's doing that probably to still other people. And I feel a weird responsibility that he's still out there.

Do you? I mean everything that can be done. You've done literally everything and more. This is part of the whole problem.

This is then you are left feeling shitty. Oh, yeah, I have that. Like if I would have been honest about the dude who most of me, I probably would have prevented other people who have been molested. But it's like, I can't carry that man.

I got to say myself. Yeah. It's going to be so destructive in my head. Well, thank you so much for sharing that story.

That was terrible. Yeah. So terrible story. Thanks for chatting though.

Oh, yeah. Thank you for listening. I honestly don't tell the story a lot. Usually because I feel like it's kind of unbelievable or it makes me sound crazy.

I just don't want it to affect my career or anything. So this is like the perfect kind of place to tell it. Thank you. Yes.

Thank you so much. Well, I will say this. You still very much have your Tinkerbell energy. And I'm very glad that that wasn't ruined.

Yeah, still there. Yeah, it's very much hanging brought. That means a lot. Those were jusies.

Well, listen, this is what fucking sucks. The stark reality of that is that was for women we talked to. Well, exactly. And it's so fucking scary to be a woman on this planet.

I'm so sorry it is. Well, I shouldn't have interrupted that because you're right. And thank you. And also there were a few men who sent in, but then they didn't respond when Emma reached back out.

Yeah, it's not just that you doesn't have it. Women's talk men for sure. Yeah. But the threat level is much different.

Yeah, they're probably not chasing you down this street. And in fairness, one of the stockers was a woman. But she wasn't the scary one. The affair woman.