AroAce & At Peace: Zoe on the “Absence” That Finally Has a Name

Zoe (she/her), an Episcopalian, theater/music kid, and editor of a college lit journal, shares what it actually felt like to realize she’s asexual and aromantic. It wasn't a dramatic “aha,” moment, but it was noticing the absence of what everyone else seemed to describe. From thinking attraction was a movie trope to realizing her “crushes” were really about deep conversation and shared interests, Zoe breaks down the difference between libido and attraction, why aromanticism can be harder to define, and how a queerplatonic partnership sounds like the dream.Together, we talk about the pressure of romance-as-a-milestone, the infantilization and “you just haven’t met the right person” assumptions, and what it means to build a full, satisfying life rooted in friendship, community, and companionship without forcing yourself into a script that doesn’t fit. If you’ve ever googled “what do romantic feelings feel like,” this one might land.