ASK US ANYTHING: The Empty Nest I'll Never Have

Hello Brave Friends! This is an Ask Us Anything episode in which YOU, the listener, get to write or call in and, you guessed it, ask us anything.In this Ask Us Anything episode, #245, we’re responding to the question:“Hi Dr. Zoe, Susanna and Jessica, I was wondering if you could shed light on us parents who will NOT BE EMPTY-NESTERS? I am struggling right now because I see friends who are so free and spontaneous and honestly, I am envious. As you guys always say, the grief buttons are getting pushed again. Thanks.”In this conversation, Susanna Peace Lovell, Dr. Zoe Shaw, and Jessica Patay talk honestly about what it means to be a “forever nester”—a caregiver who may never experience the traditional empty nest. They define what empty nest and forever nest can look like, while also acknowledging that it’s not always a simple either/or; there are many unknowns, in-between seasons, and times when adult children launch and then return home.Together, they name the complicated mix of emotions that arise when friends are traveling, retiring, or enjoying spontaneous freedom, while caregiving parents are still managing high-support needs, sleep deprivation, food vigilance, and constant responsibility. Jessica and Zoe share candidly about life with children who have Prader-Willi syndrome and the relentless focus on food and safety; Susanna reflects on lifelong rigidity, shame, and a longing to be more spontaneous. They speak to grief as cyclical, normal, and deeply human—especially when future dreams like travel, retirement, or hands-on grandparenting feel uncertain or out of reach.The hosts also offer hope and reframes: the power of naming longings out loud, seeking pockets of “empty nest cosplay” (brief moments of freedom and joy), practicing radical acceptance of the life you’re living, and being intentional about creating memories and glimmers of joy right now. They remind listeners that wanting freedom, rest, and space is not selfish—it’s human—and encourage caregivers to seek support when resentment or grief feels overwhelming.Keep the questions coming—we’re here to support you. Whether you’re a parent to a child with complex medical, developmental, or mental health needs, or someone supporting a caregiving family, we would love to hear from you. We see you, and we love you.Leave us a message here.Find more information about Licensed Psychotherapist, Dr. Zoe Shaw here. Find Dr. Zoe’s book, Stronger in the Difficult Places: Heal Your Relationship with Yourself by Untangling Complex Shame here.Find more information about Life Coach, Susanna Peace Lovell here.Find Susanna’s book, Your True Self is Enough here.Find our first book from We Are Brave Together here.Find FULL episodes and clips of our podcast on Youtube Brave Together is the podcast for We are Brave Together, a not-for-profit organization based in the USA. The heart of We Are Brave Together is to strengthen, encourage, inspire and validate all moms of children with disabilities and other needs in their unique journeys. JOIN the international community of We Are Brave Together here. Donate to support all of We Are Brave Together's programs and offerings here. Can’t get enough of the Brave Together Podcast? Follow us on Instagram , Facebook and Youtube. Feel free to contact Jessica Patay via email: [email protected] If you have any topic requests or if you would like to share a story, leave us a message here.Please leave a review and rating today! We thank you in advance!Disclaimer