Attachment

Perhaps the only silver lining of learning about your attachment style is realizing that it can be healed and repaired, or at least that’s how Anna sees it. On today’s episode, Nina and Anna unpack their results from the Attachment Style Quiz and discuss the current research behind how attachment styles are formed. They reflect on familial and biological factors that they believe have influenced their attachment styles and the work that they continue to do to become more secure individuals. 

There are four main attachment styles: anxious, avoidant, disorganized, and secure. They start to develop in utero, are put into place by 18 months old, and firmly developed by the age of four. Anna explores how her anxious attachment most likely came from experiencing emotional neglect as a child and not getting the comfort that she needed. She illustrates how this has affected her as an adult and how she’s working on cultivating safe connections. 

On the other end of the spectrum, Nina’s test result revealed that she has secure attachment. She admits that if she had answered the questions 10 years earlier, the results might’ve been different, but she’s learned to openly express her emotions and depend on her husband. She shares her perspective on attachment styles as a mother and ways that she sees it showing up in her four-year-old son. 

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music, iHeartRadio, Stitcher, or on your favorite podcast platform

Topics Covered:

• Psychologist John Bowlby‘s work on attachment theory
• How your early relationship with your caregivers influences how you build relationships as an adult
• Looking at the relationship between intergenerational trauma and attachment styles
• When the workload of motherhood starts to overshadow the emotional and physical needs of a child 
• The body and intuition component of attachment styles 

Resources Mentioned:

• Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find - and Keep - Love by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller
• Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson  

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