Attachment and Autism: The different-frequency problem - Jack Hinman

If your child doesn’t show connection in the ways you expected, it can mess with your confidence in a really deep way. You can be doing everything, therapies, routines, all the effort, and still feel like you’re guessing whether your child feels close to you. That’s what we’re talking about today.Dr. Jack Hinman, Psy.D. (licensed clinical psychologist, Founder and Executive Director of Engage Young Adult Transitions) joins Kim and Claudie from Mendability to talk about neurodiversity + attachment, and why the “signals” of connection can be on a different frequency for our kids.What you’ll learn- Recognize attachment cues you might be missing in a non-speaking or sensory-sensitive child- Understand the 4 attachment styles and how your style shapes what you notice (and personalize)- Use “attunement” as a practical skill, not a vague idea- Support regulation without forcing your child into your preferred version of closeness- Try simple sensory-based connection routines (including touch that doesn’t backfire)- Separate healthy discomfort from true anxiety, so growth doesn’t get shut downChapters00:00 Parenting an autistic child when attachment looks “different”05:10 Neurotype, sensory thresholds, and reading your child’s signals10:20 Attachment basics for parents (secure vs insecure styles)17:30 Attunement for neurodivergent kids: the “different frequency” problem23:40 Sensory enrichment for bonding: oxytocin, serotonin, and gentle touch routines31:30 Anxiety vs discomfort: what’s normal, what’s clinical, and what to reinforce38:30 Finding an “anchor” activity that builds trust and connection43:30 One practical thing to start this week as a parent