Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (1978)

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This week we are discussing 1978's Attack of the Killer Tomatoes as picked by me. Who would have guessed? Yes. So let me throw this out there first and foremost.

Is it an apology? Because hear me out. I don't think that this is a good movie. I'm not sitting here to defend it.

But what I want to talk about is that I feel like this movie constantly is juggling between being a movie I would like and then immediately being a movie I kind of hate consistently through the movie. So like on the positive side of things, right? The scenes with the tomatoes, I still think are really funny and hold up in the sense of like they are selling the tomato attacks with such sincerity. But then whenever they're like, here's the wacky team of people that are going to stop and save the world, it just falls to shit every single time that it jumps there.

Twice. I left twice this entire movie. And I don't think either one had a tomato in it. Really won't imply it.

Yeah. The one scene implied that there was a tomato, which was the old couple when it was written. Oh, yeah, that seems great. That and then the end.

The end was the only scene where I left and I knew it wasn't that funny, but I guess it was such a bad movie that the one scene was redeeming is when he when the new scaster is just aggressively interviewing that woman whose husband just weren't missing. And she's like, he's like, are you going to get married again? What are you going to do if you find your husband did somewhere? You better get married soon.

You're no spring chicken, you know? See, so there are a couple things that still make me laugh. I mean, 90% of this movie is ADR bullshit. The ADR line that always makes me laugh is when the bikers get attacked and the one biker falls on the ground and the tomato rolls up to him and the ADR line is just like, hey, there's a funk of the little tomato.

Right? Yeah. There's like, I don't know, it's so weird because and I was reading a review because I was trying to wrap my head around this because this is like a cult hit. Like this movie kind of did whatever when it came out and then had like this massive cult following that led to three sequels and a cartoon series and like all types.

Yeah. Why? I have no clue. I mean, the later sequels are the higher budget for George Clooney in the second one.

George Clooney was in the second one and Sean Aston or not Sean Aston, John Aston Gomez, the original Gomez Adams is the villain in all the other sequels. He's like the creator of the tomatoes because they can talk talk in the sequels, right? Yeah, they, they, I'm going to throw this out there. The very opening scene, I still think is a really funny setup and I think it's in part because of the it's the first time that you hear these tomato noises that are just like, me, no, no, no, no, no, like it's, it's that really shitty.

They just reversed the shot of someone rolling a tomato into the sink and then reversed it. So it was like it's rolling out of the, you know, the worst part about that is that I was like, oh, they had it on a string. That's clever. I'm like, no, no, they didn't have no string at all.

The other big thing about the opening of this movie, I also wrote down the old couple see because that, that seat is funny for again, when I talked about in so bad, it's good movies. The best elements are like, this is just the best that we can do with what we've been given. And it's like, those two people cannot act. So like, let's just lean into it and give them like, them detailing something horrific happening, but they are so inept as actors that they're just going to monitor only read it while sitting on the couch.

It worked well, actually. Yeah, the helicopter scene though is something that I wrote down because the helicopter, so much of either of you know the story of that. I know nothing about this movie. Okay, so this movie had a hundred thousand dollar budget.

Sixty thousand dollars went to replacing the helicopter because that crash wasn't supposed to happen. The scene was that the helicopter was supposed to just land and then they would do a scene. And if you watch the scene, the tail of the helicopter hits the ground before the rest of the helicopter and then it started to spin out of control. No one got injured, but they quickly had to just improv a scene to explain the helicopter crashes if it was supposed to happen.

And I actually think I wrote down the ad lib dialogue of them walking away from the wreckage is better than most of the dialogue in this movie. It's like a kamikaze tomato flew at our helicopter and the one guy's like, tomatoes can't fly. It's like, well, they don't eat people either, but they seem to be doing a great job of it. You know, even that's the thing is like this movie is painful.

Like I need those minutes to know like it is I am I'm still reeling. I my trust issues are back. I just don't know. I don't know what I'm going to do with Matt right now because he's been hurting me so much.

But yeah, like the this movie is just not fun. There's no fun to be had in it. If you like naked gun movies more than you like dogs, let's just say because that's on the inverse. If you hate puppies and you love naked gun movies, you might enjoy one watch of attack of the killer tomatoes.

I mean, I like both of those things. I like these movies. This movie wants to be a naked gun movie so bad. It does.

There'd be a Mel Brooks movie. Yeah. Insanely bad because like Mel Brooks has the shtick that where it's like let's just break out in song a few times, you know, and Mel Brooks's songs are fucking catchy. Like, you know what I mean?

Like he can make you say the coach made those isn't catchy or the song where the guy's talking about talking about attack of the killer. He was theme song. The one where he was like, I don't know, I made a joke about like sending them to Alabama and then they left because they didn't want in Beto. It was just a dumb song.

Like there was nothing catchy about it. Yeah. Yeah. No, all the music in this is because yeah, it's like a quasi musical.

All the music is just bad. It's really bad. And like, that's the thing about so I don't find the shittiness of this charming. I find it insufferable.

And that's what I think is the problem is like, I think that if you didn't actually try to lean into the jokes and you just tried to play it serious that a bunch of tomatoes were killing people, this movie would have worked so much better. But it's when it leans into like you said, the musical bits or like this, that and the other thing like you can have a few jokes peppered in like there was like one point where they were listening to the radio and an ad on the radio cable. It's an ad for the radio than an ad about the ad for the radio. And it was just like, I get it, you know?

Well, no, I wouldn't refer to that. It was an advertisement for a beer. Shirts beer. You're never too drunk to ask for more shirts.

That's fun. That's fun. Yeah. Even in this movie, like I didn't find that amusing, you know, like I find amusing when you tell me about it.

You saw this when you were younger. Like I never saw this, but I remember you watching this movie. So I wouldn't say younger. I was in high school by the time I finally saw it, but I used to watch the show when you were younger.

Yeah, sure. But yeah, like when I watched the cartoon constantly, I did too. Like I and you know, stay tuned, Patreon, we might be watching the first episode of the cartoon for a Patreon episode. I had seen the cartoon and then I was aware of its existence because of Elvira because obviously this is the movie that she does the screening of in Elvira for before she does the flash dance performance.

But it was actually Mr. Finn gave me, he got a copy of it at a yard sale and was like, here, this seems like something you would like. And I actually watched it on Halloween night and I was like, this kind of sucks. Like man, I ruined the best of the year.

But then I kept, like then I put it on again and I was like, there's like, my stance has always been like, there are elements of this movie that I like, but as a whole, like it's a very bad movie that's trying really too hard. It should have been made. That's the thing. It should have never been made.

And this movie seems like they saw the trailer for the birds and was like, a bunch of birds killing people. How stupid is that? What's that? Tomatoes?

You know, like it didn't, there wasn't like, oh, I love Hitchcock. Like, I want to make this like, and I don't even know if it's the direct parody of the birds. I'm just basically the first like the school. Yeah, they made a reference.

I think it's more jaws than the birds, but that's just because of the way that the battles go, you know, the attacks. I do think, and I still, and this is the part that I will defend, I think that the parts with the killer tomatoes make me laugh. Like the scene where they show up and there's just tomatoes laying on the ground, they're not even moving and they're just shooting at them, which I got like, that's funny. Or like doing like the Jaws scene where everyone's swimming and then out of nowhere, tomatoes start to rise up the water.

Like those shots are funny shots. Yeah, but like you can't, this movie pads out two minutes of good material with, you know, 90 more of shit. And it's so, it's such a short movie and it feels so fucking long. It's an 80 minute movie that feels like it's two and a half hours.

Yeah, it would have been perfect for like a stay tuned. Like this would have been a great thing to stay tuned where it's like, oh, look at these cheesy movies. It should have never been a full movie ever. So, so I will say there's one other line and I've talked about it a few times before, but it is the one scene in this movie that for whatever reason will always make me laugh.

And it's when they're doing the big news broad about people being terrified of tomatoes. And they say something like even the mere mention of the word sends people into a panic and it's just that guy sitting in the library and it's he looks still left. He looks at the right and he just goes, tomato and then everybody. But it's just the way he says tomato and the smile on his face that he's just so pleased with the.

My favorite thing about that is the energy that you came telling that story and Scott looking like he's in a West Anderson movie. Like just straight. And the only other line that was written to be funny that still makes me chuckle a little bit is the the undercover agent dresses the tomato being found out when he asks for catch up. Just so dumb.

It's such a dumb movie. But yeah, there's some parts I like other fun facts along with the helicopter. And this is not shocking when you think about it. The fountain scene where the underwater expert just wanders into a fountain and starts scuba diving in there was without any permits gorilla style.

So like the people that are sitting on the fountain that are like, you see them noticeably like jump up confused as they were just like, I don't know, this will be funny. Just get up well sit in this hotel room that's got a great view of the fountain and you just go do your thing. Joke doesn't work. Was it worth the time?

Yeah, it could be worse. They could have had him walk around with a stake and fake blood and his mouth and go, I'm mistake me. Which is also a map fix. So this is my trust issues now.

Yeah, I'm bringing I'm bringing the heat. No, you're bringing the lukewarm. You're bringing the fucking curd milk. Yeah, I I'm inclined to agree with Scott, you know, right?

Here's the thing is like when you agree with me about my vehement hatred of a pick, it's like it's world shattering because you are the most don't rock the boat person I think I've ever met. I'm not even angry at Matt. I just think we stick it to a point where we're like, we want to entertain, but at what cost? I don't think that we're at that point.

I think we've been at that point for six years, you know, like there's there's a bad catalog from before you came along that is equally painful in other ways. And most of them weren't Matt's fault, but you know, he's back on his bullshit and I just don't I don't know what we can do to stop this. Here's the one thing I'll say this is this is me defending myself at this point in my defense. The other person who used to be on the show and is no longer on the show who used to pick particularly bad movies, if nothing else, I at least come with like a discussion plan.

You're still hurting me. I only smack the shit out of you because my hand was itchy. No, but I guess that he doesn't have a point because like I'm just like, we watch the devil times five and you guys are like, why? I don't know.

You have information on the movie. I was like, Nope, let's talk about it. Yeah, the thing about you is like, I know why you pick bullshit. It's because you're a low effort person.

That is a high effort person to to a point, but he's just so the other half the time that it's like the follow through is only there half the time with you the following through is never there. So I don't have to expect it. It's fine. Yeah.

This is not because I think any well, this is me criticizing Brian. This is me just saying like, I know you well enough, but I also know Matt will know that he I deserve better from this relationship. No, I listen, in the sense of who makes us who makes the other one hurt less. Yeah, yeah, you hurt me way less than I hurt you.

But I do when I'm making my picks, it's not sitting there being like, man, Scott and Brian are going to have a blast with this. I'm like, Oh, no, this is pretty fucking dumb. We could have some fun with this. Like that's usually the thought process.

I think your thought process is we can have fun after you make me suffer through it. And for me, I'm like, this will be a fun watch. And then we can have fun talking about it. Nah, that's never the good news is that I don't like any of the sequels enough to ever want to pick them.

So, you know, once we watch that that episode of the cartoon series, the cartoon is going to be fine. Because I grew up on the cartoon. So two funny little stories about my childhood and killer tomatoes is that I said this, you were a killer tomato. I was a killer tomato one time.

It was just me. This is the like, I appreciate parents that don't stifle their children's creativity because as far as shitty costumes go, because I feel like at a certain point, kids need to learn that they're being idiots because kids are idiots. And you know, like the world has to teach them your parents can't just teach you everything. So I was like, I love the show Attack of the Killitomino or whatever is called Killitomino's, right?

The cartoon? So I was like, I love that show. It is so funny and fun. And mind you, I was like six or seven.

So my thought process was I want to be a killer tomato. How can I be a killer tomato? Oh, I'll have mom buy me a a sweatsuit, a red sweatsuit, and we'll put red paint on my hands and face and get some of that red hairspray that used to get back in the 80s in my hair and I'll be a killer tomato. Went trick-treating.

I was upset that people didn't know what I was. You know, they're like, well, I'm a killer tomato. And I'm like, that's that's nice, honey. You know, like it's just they didn't even have any time for my bullshit.

And there are pictures and I will try and scratch one up and post it because it was a again, very low effort. I have become a much more high effort person in my adulthood, but that was definitely a Matt Kelly original as far as the effort level goes. It might have been a Brian Kelly original. That's the one thing.

And the second thing is that the thing I don't remember from the cartoon or this movie that kind of fucked me up when I was watching the very first minute is I was like, oh my god, the theme song's real because my dad used to sing that shit to me just that the first, you know, literally the theme of the title of the movie with a ridiculous French accent on tomatoes. And I don't know why. I don't know what the thought process was behind that, but I'm sure that if I asked him, he'd be like, I don't know. Funny.

You know, like, but like it was it was really weird to be like, oh, I thought he made that up because it's so shitty that it sounds like something apparent with makeup, you know, like it sounds like the first attempt. Yeah. You know, Brian, you know how like we sing at our dogs, right? Oh my god.

Yeah. Yeah. It sounds like some shit that you sing at your dog or like, you're like, oh, just taking a walk, gonna look at my garden, you know, like it's that same and they wrote entirely, they recorded it. They found this guy with this ridiculous vibrato.

Oh, you do originals. That's stuff. I do weird out when I take my dogs out. Like, I'll be like, keep body, grab the leash and let's go party.

That's equally good. Like, I'm not saying that mine are better. I'm saying that they're both stupid in different ways. So one last factoid before we dive into our double features since you're talking about the music, you know, we have to mention that the song puberty love pops up frequently in this movie.

The singer of puberty love is Matt Cameron, which that name might be familiar to some listeners. It might not be he is the original drummer of Soundgarden and current drummer of Pearl Jam. But when he was eight, he got cast to be the voice that sang puberty love and attack the killer to me. It's so you can only go.

I mean, I don't give a shit about Pearl Jam and I don't really think that I ever liked Soundgarden that much. So congratulations, buddy. You definitely can only go up from being an attack. I don't think anyone from Philly likes Pearl Jam anymore.

That's just my hot tea. I say for Ontario means more police and prosecutors making sure my card doesn't get stolen. It means building new jails to keep criminals behind bars. And it means there's no need to worry when I play at the park.

We're making every corner of Ontario safer to make all of Ontario safer. That's how we protect Ontario. For all of us. Learn how at ontario.ca.

Pay for by the Government of Ontario. You'll find it here on Campfire Ashes. You can find us on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, or right here on the Keyscape Network. So double feature does this movie wish it was an ACGUN movie?

It certainly does. But what this movie really wishes it was was Dr. Strangelove. And one of the reviews that I read pointed something out and that's when I started to click with Dr.

Strangelove is they're like, this movie could be good. This movie could be good in being like a parody of like a Kaiju movie or a disaster movie or what have you with these tomatoes taking over the world. And it could also be a movie about how inept the US government is that they can't even like stop a bunch of tomatoes from taking over the world. But you have to do them.

You have to do all of it with a straight face for any of it to actually like work and land. And that's why I think Dr. Strangelove does well, is that it like is a film completely making fun of the absurdity of war and making fun of war movies all at once. But doing it as straight faces it can up until the point when a guy rides an H-bomb to a random country while waving his cowboy hat in the air.

Got to give mine that was like, you know, Stan and Kubrick, Peter Weller. I mean, there are a lot of big games that are suspiciously absent from Tack of the Killer tomatoes. I know. One of my favorite IMDB trivia notes was before this movie, almost none of the cast had ever acted in a movie.

And after this movie, many of the cast never acted again. Because they were literally like trauma was like, you're too bad for even a Trello film. You know, like that's how we're good. We're gonna we're gonna go ahead and pass on this one, please.

Scott, what would your double feature with the Tack of the Killer tomatoes? So since I know that I'm never watching this movie again, I'm gonna pretend that this was my first and last watch that I have to do a double feature with. So I'm gonna do a Burner Night. I'm gonna do a Forget Me Now night if we can go back to the rest of the development joke days.

I'm gonna do Tack of the Killer tomatoes and then The Happening, which is also about an impossibly stupid plant attack. And Brian, your double feature. I was trying to think of the most appropriately to say this, but there is none. I'm sorry.

So you get my apology in advance, but I would pair this with Citizen Toxie and how they both connect is Black Hitler. And that's not true. They both have that. Yeah, this is the most trauma non-trauma film ever.

Things that you've watched this week, ironically, we're recording this the day after 4th of July, America's Independence, or some people call it Fuck You England Day. I've been having my own Fuck You England day for the last month because I've been watching all of the Crown. And very often I yell at my TV, Fuck You England while watching. Fuck You Clownies.

I kind of hate watched three seasons of the Crown just to get to the Princess Di season because I was like, yo, the Princess, everyone was like the Princess Di season is incredible. And it is. I was led to believe that you really, it was worth taking in those first three seasons of like context before diving in. But it's not.

If you're curious, just jump right into season three of the Crown. Watch how terribly they treat at Princess Diana during her time in the Monarch. Season four, good stuff. Season one through three.

Matt Kelly review. Yeah, that's a multiple times this episode. Matt Kelly reviews. Brian, you want to go?

You want me to go? I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go.

I'm going to support for my boss because it's his favorite franchise. I went to see Fast 9 and oh my I can't remember the last time I badly laughed at a movie that wasn't intentionally funny. Like I it was so ridiculous. I'm pausing you for one second and this is coming from someone who's only watching maybe three movies in that franchise and not in any particular order.

I don't think that you can say that they don't know they're being ridiculous. One of the previous movies, there's definitely a scene where the rock in the distance sees a heist going on. So I know he had just recently broken his arm in the movie and he goes, daddy's got to go to work and then he flexes himself out. I don't think I'm ridiculous.

I'm saying there was there was scenes written for comedy in this movie that got crickets. But when they were driving across a swing bridge and someone cut the swing bridge and you just see this Jeep fall with the swing bridge and then five seconds later you see this Jeep fly from the cliff and land. I got a belly lap and just a little spoiler, ludicrous ends up in space in a car that has a rocket motor. You're selling it to me because I've never watched any of it.

This is like I just want to go to the most balls in the wall stupid part of the series series. Just literally I watched one in nine. So I watched point break with cars and then this. When they became the Avengers, I don't know.

But that's really nice. Yeah. So Fast 9, I recommend from Brian. I take it.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I also makes a lot of money. So he like paid for us and I'm like, don't don't give this movie money.

Let someone else say it. But see it when it's free. All right, Scott. So when that was over visiting recently, we were looking through Shutter and I was adding stuff to my list.

But there was a Shutter original that we watched the first two minutes of before I was like, I can't right now with this. It's called Super Deep or the Super Deep. And it's a Russian 20 is made in 2020. So Russian sci-fi horror movie, very formulaic.

I finally watched it last night this morning early in the morning because I couldn't sleep. And I should have just gone to sleep. You know, like, but the reason why I wanted to mention that is because what we're talking about recently about how Shutter like even when Shutter does Shutter originals that suck, I still appreciate that they have the money and they're giving these bad movies a platform. Now, the reason why Super Deep is bad is because it is entirely ADR first of all, it sucks.

But it's a Russian movie. I mean, it probably was originally, you know, but the weird things that some people are speaking in Russian and it looks like they made it like they made everybody record everything twice. So their English isn't great. Like you can see with their mouths that their English isn't great, but then they have people that are like ADR in so that they have these weird English accents.

But the main female character does not. She speaks with an accent, but no one else does. I'm like, you're in Siberia. Like what the fuck you doing?

But it's like this, it's kind of like the thing meets Resident Evil. I mean, it's shit that you've seen before and CGI's not good, but I gotta give Shutter props once again. And I always will for the fact that they have money to throw at projects like that, you know, like make your movie. All right, it might be bad, but I'm still appreciative of the fact that someone let you make a movie.

So thank you, Shutter. Hell yeah. That's why I was ungrateful for comedy central in the 90s because I hated so many shows, but like looking back, it's like, man, they gave everybody a fucking chance. Maybe two men's chances.

Maybe too many for sure. But like they were given nobody. It's not even like, oh, this celebrity wants to make a show. Like a lot of times they were fucking nobodies.

Maybe they were like writers that you didn't know, but they weren't super well known people and it's like, yeah, have a shot. See what you can do. Yeah, on a similar note talking about things that we appreciate with horror, I saw a Facebook post right before we started recording from Jeff who pretty much runs a screen factory. And he was extremely pissed off about something.

And I understand why. And I want to do a quick second to say, hey, we all love that there's companies like Scream Factory and Vinegar Syndrome and Diablique Films and all of these companies out there that are finding these like really hard to get in any format movies and spending all this money and time to like do a film restoration so that they can put it on Blu-ray for a loser like me who really wants it on their shelf. So here's the deal. If you through some type of insider source be it like knowing someone who's working on one of those projects finds out that one of those is getting released.

Don't be a dick and announce it on a Facebook group before the people who spent years working on getting that thing put together have a chance to make a formal announcement about it because it really negates all of the time and energy that they've spent on working with licenses and like doing film restoration for you to just like take the wind out of their sales and make it an internet story before they're ready for the formal announcement. You're being way nicer about it than I would be. I would be like listening for aunt, you know, there's a joke that someone once told me and it definitely carries over into the horror community too but the joke was what is one thing that every person at the comic book shop wants to know? One more thing than you and I.

Yeah you definitely told me that. It pisses me off though because you're right like everybody thinks they have to be a goddamn expert or or just you know like you know put the note you know I you're not gonna realize it. Will actually you know you suck up sucking your nose and you push your glasses up and you're like you're wrong let me tell you why you're wrong. This is also why I don't really read it anymore because so much of it is just that kind of gatekeeping bullshit and like if there's one thing that we try and I think succeed quite well at on horror movie night and especially in our like our Facebook community is no one's a dick.

It's a pretty clean friendly spot. Yeah but it's also great because the thing that it's great but it also isn't fair to compare us to something like a vinegar syndrome or a you know screen factory or any even bigger podcast and they're also making money. We're not doing this for money so we can be we can you know like we can pick and choose like you're being a piece of shit by you know like we but they they're like well we can't really be commodorious for blocking people from our page for you know posting spoilers and things like that so I mean like just let people be experts if it's their job you know like that that'd be nice. Yeah and big shout out to the horror movie night facebook group because they also do a really good job of policing themselves.

Yeah like the first year or so that we had that page there definitely was like you know messages internally of like should we delete this post should we like block this person and now we don't even have to have those conversations because the group either right away starts flagging they think is too spammy or shitty or they'll just arrest someone until they leave and I love the room where you do that because I don't want to be that guy. I know that might seem like I want to be that guy but I don't want to be that guy so if you can be that guy or gal or they or whatever you like if you want to be that that person please be our guest. Yeah so that was Attack of the Killer Tomatoes a very bad parody. Your bad tracker your your bad tracker is continuing maybe you could learn a little something from your baby bro just a little bit.

We'll be back go and visit the website hmn.com for all of our podcast stuff. I don't know everyone has a podcast now. Well not really what is true is that according to Nielsen statistics 55% of the US population that's over 155 million people have listened to a podcast and 24% of the population that's 68 million people listen to podcasts weekly and these numbers continue to trend up what's also true is that over 75% of all podcasts fade away after the first few episodes it could be for a variety of reasons lack of strong concept poor production value people not realizing how much time needs to be dedicated to it or simply just not knowing how to get the word out about podcasts that's where we know podcasting.com comes in and we know podcasting.com we have a combined 25 years and we can help you achieve your podcasting goals whether you need help starting a new podcast or want to take your currently active podcast to the next level we got you from consultations to concept development from theme music to editing promotion animation graphics you name it and we're here to help. Don't become another failed podcast statistic let us guide you and help your show become a success check out the website at weknowpodcasting.com and even if you're on the fence don't hesitate to reach out we're friendly guys we're passionate about pods and we're here to help.

You're listening to the Geekscape Network. You've been lost in the woods for hours now stumbling around in the dark you come around the bend and see two people roasting marshmallows over a roaring fire they see you coming into the clearing and jester over to pull up a log welcome to Campfire Ashes I'm Paul and I'm Jess join us as we tell each other our originally written spooky stories around the campfire and then dive into the lore and legends that inspire them is it something that goes bump in the night is it something menacing lurking past the tree line or is it just weird and otherworldly you'll find it here on Campfire Ashes you can find us on Spotify Apple Music Amazon Music or right here on the Geekscape Network. You're listening to the Geekscape Network.