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Stephen Roenick is a pioneer in motivational interviewing, and in recent years has been applying his knowledge to sport. In this article, Stephen offers a psychology perspective on the key differences between praise and affirmation with young athletes. When you're that young, it doesn't take a lot to be encouraged or discouraged. They raised my game.
They saw something in me I didn't see in myself, Sir Ken Robinson, educationalist. In my work as a psychologist and trainer in and around the medical and counseling fields, I noticed quite a difference between praise and affirmation. Then more recently when I started working in sport, I noticed the widespread use of praise, not just to acknowledge success, which seems natural enough, but as a motivational strategy or sweetener that presumably improves outcomes. Does it?
I wasn't so sure. Then I read James Vaughn's article on how praise and its withdrawal affected his self-esteem and wellbeing as a young person, and undermined his creativity on the field. So I wondered about whether the use of affirmation and sport might have value. See what you think.
Here's an imaginary example. A young player aged 15 in a tense match situation produces a long, low pass that dissects the fence and leads to the simplest of goals, an act of daring and creativity seemingly beyond his age. Imagine meeting him after the game with a desire to focus on that wonderful pass and to encourage him to develop further. What might you say and why?
One of the most common coaching responses is to use praise. Coach, well done. That was a cracking pass. That was praise.
Player, thanks coach. Coach, that's one of the best I've seen you do. It will be good to see you do more of those. Player, sure, thanks.
Coach, have a good rest and let's see more of those passes next week, okay? Another choice you have is to use affirmation and it might sound like this. Coach, that long pass, it seemed like you paused and somehow saw the gap in their defense. Affirmation.
Player, yeah, it felt like time stood still. Coach, and in that moment, you're the confidence to just go for the long pass. Affirmation. Player.
Yeah, I acted on it. Coach, it was your vision and you trusted it. Affirmation. Player.
Yeah, I want to trust it more next time. Affirming is when you acknowledge something inside the player that's already there, which cannot be taken away like shining a light on something positive that you've noticed. It's something for them to notice too. Take ownership of and be inspired by it.
If praise is a judgment you pass down, affirmation is something you notice, an observation you share about positive things in their performance, ability, attitude or behavior that they can take ownership of and feel proud about. You show appreciation and understanding and look out for evidence of qualities that might inspire them. In football, I imagine this might be things like flair, determination, seeing spaces and openings on the field, a long list of positive qualities that could help them develop both as people and players. Affirming is when you acknowledge something inside the player that's already there, which cannot be taken away like shining a light on something positive that you've noticed.
It's something for them to notice too. Take ownership of and be inspired by it. If praise is a judgment you pass down, affirmation is something you notice, an observation you share about positive things in their performance, ability, attitude or behavior that they can take ownership of and feel proud about. You show appreciation and understanding and look out for evidence of qualities that might inspire them.
In football, I imagine this might be things like flair, determination, seeing spaces and openings on the field, a long list of positive qualities that could help them to develop both as people and players. Here are some more examples of affirmation from my imaginary football world. Notice how some of them are used in the face of failure, not just success. Comparison.
Well done. I'm impressed with your work today. Praise. Or there's that determination again.
Affirmation. Dialogue one. Player. I've missed up here.
Right there. Coach, you tried hard and you were good at noticing where things go wrong. Player. Yeah, I did try.
I just want to get this right. Dialogue two. Player. I let the team down.
Coach, you don't like that because you're a loyal team player. Affirmation. Single offerings. You keep your head when you're under pressure.
That would have taken some courage. You like to keep going and help others, particularly when you're losing. You enjoy leading. Even when things are not going well, you make solid decisions.
Is the word affirmation really just a fancy word for compliment? My experience is that they are different. A compliment is something I offer someone. A judgment I make and it usually involves using the word I.
Notice how the coach's ego is left out of the examples above and they mostly start with the word you. Last week, I was walking on Clifton Downs and Bristol with a friend and his 20-year-old son. And he took us to the very spot where he took a successful penalty in his club game the weekend before. My mind was super calm, Dad, he said.
And I took hold of this idea. You pointed out to me when I was 10. Remember playing cricket? You said I was always super calm under pressure.
So I just stood there, remember that, and stared at the grass before I took the kick. And then I whacked it with no stress at all. Was that comment from his father in affirmation? A learning exercise, often used in training counselors, is to ask them who their favorite teacher was and why.
They believed in me is the most common answer I've come across. Affirmation is a direct way of showing someone that you believe in them. Mark Upton wrote a gem of an article on the difference between teaching and learning recently on this website. I wonder where the praise is more associated with teaching and affirming with learning.
If that's correct, it points to the likelihood that praise and affirming are not just communication techniques, but reflections of different views of how coaching helps players to improve. I've often seen praise and sport being used as a motivational pick-me-up by a coach who has the answers and is trying to get the player to absorb them. For example, well done. That was exactly right.
Now see if you can. Or if things go wrong. Well done. Good effort anyway.
Don't worry. Now see if you can. This sounds a lot like what I termed the use of writing reflex in our healthcare work. You're almost instinctive and often unconscious tendency to see a problem and immediately try to fix it for the person.
Is that what concerns Mark Upton about teaching? In contrast, the use of affirming is an expression of a different approach to improvement. Focused on developing strengths and not just rectifying weakness, probably voice to us. You have most of what it takes to change.
My job is to come alongside you and help you to see new approaches to old problems. How might I help you get unstuck and move forward? Is this what Upton is getting at when he talks about supporting learning? It so happens to be the foundation for a conversation style called motivational interviewing, but that's the subject of another article sometime.
This article might be a call to tame the writing reflex. There surely is a place for the thoughtful and wise use of praise. And yet when used like it's a habit coupled with a view that coaches know it all, it might undermine progress. Finally, what might the more regular use of affirming do to your coaching practice?
If your mindset is based on a view of young players as people with strengths, not just efficiencies to be corrected, you should find yourself affirming quite spontaneously. Then you can practice some more. What effect might this have? The look on players' faces will give you immediate feedback.
And in this sense, they are your best teachers. Is that what Ken Robinson was getting at in the quotation at the start of this article? Were his teachers affirming him? About the author.
Stephen Ronnick is an honorary distinguished professor in the School of Medicine at Cardiff University. He was a practicing psychologist in the UK National Health Service for 16 years and then became a teacher and researcher on the subject of motivation and behavior change. He is a co-founder of Motivational Interviewing and has written many books on this subject, including the most recent one for school teachers along with over 100 peer-reviewed academic papers. Thanks for joining us on the Playa Development Project Podcast.
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