Autism Parenting, Grief, and Finding Yourself Again with Jean Mayer of Moms Talk Autism

Autism parenting, caregiver stories, and neurodivergent parenting are at the heart of this episode of Inchstones. Sarah Kernion and Jean Mayer of Moms Talk Autism share a raw conversation about parenting autistic children, grief, identity, disability advocacy, and finding yourself again after diagnosis. In this deeply honest episode of Inchstones, Sarah sits down with Jean Mayer of Moms Talk Autism for a conversation about the hidden grief many autism parents carry, the loss of expectations, and the slow rebuilding that happens after your child’s diagnosis changes the life you imagined. Jean shares what it felt like to move through Rory’s autism diagnosis, give up the career and identity she once expected, and become the manager, advocate, and steady presence her child needed. Together, Sarah and Jean explore caregiver burnout, autism family support, emotional regulation, ableism, disability inclusion, and the reality of living in what Jean calls “the forever trench.” This episode is for every autism mom, special needs caregiver, and parent navigating neurodivergent parenting who has ever felt unseen, overwhelmed, or changed by the journey. It is a conversation about grief, yes, but also clarity, growth, advocacy, sisterhood, and the truth that joy and grief can coexist. In this episode: 00:00 – Why autism mom stories matter01:37 – Jean Mayer shares Rory’s autism diagnosis journey02:32 – The grief and identity shift after an autism diagnosis04:50 – How family systems shape disability expectations07:49 – The emotional energy of autism parenting10:53 – Giving up a career to become your child’s advocate11:28 – What feels unfair about raising an autistic child13:28 – Why autism parenting can feel like “a forever trench”18:05 – Talking honestly about autism grief without shame20:35 – Ableism, motherhood, and learning to see differently24:58 – Why disability belongs in every equity conversation30:11 – What Jean would tell a mom with a newly diagnosed child Listen to more episodes of the Moms Talk Autism Podcast and follow Inchstones with Sarah Kernion, an autism podcast sharing caregiver stories, autism advocacy, profound autism, and neurodivergent parenting. Jean Mayer is a dedicated school board trustee in Pflugerville ISD in Texas, where she serves as Chair of the Government Relations Committee, a role she has held for consecutive years. With a strong commitment to governance integrity, transparency, and student-centered policy, she works to ensure that district decisions reflect both fiscal responsibility and the diverse needs of the community. Jean also serves on the Board of the Autism Society of Texas and actively collaborates with disability advocacy organizations across the state to advance equitable and inclusive policies. In addition to her governance work, Jean is deeply engaged in family and systems-level advocacy. Through her work with Texas Parent to Parent, she provides medical training to first- and second-year medical residents, helping future physicians understand what it means to parent a child with complex needs through a trauma-informed lens. She is also a co-host of the Moms Talk Autism podcast, where she brings together professional insight and lived experience as the parent of a child with profound support needs. Across all of her work, Jean is committed to moving beyond awareness toward true inclusion, belonging, and meaningful systems change for individuals with disabilities and their families. Chapters (00:00:00) - May is about the moms of autism(00:03:47) - After a child's disability diagnosis, how do you cope?(00:10:13) - When You Have A Child, Does It Hurt?(00:14:16) - Autism and the Real World(00:16:31) - Special Needs Parents Talk About Their Grief(00:22:34) - In the Elevator With Grandpa(00:23:04) - "The World Gets Wrong" by Amy Poehler(00:23:39) - Disability in Equity Conversations(00:28:05) - What is one thing that you would tell a newly diagnosed child?(00:30:23) - Moms Talk Autism on Inchstones