Awaken (40)

“Ultimately, what stands against the storms of extremism, the spread of untruths, and the threat of nihilism, is the awakened individual. Unless we find the inner truths of our own lives, and the underlying sense of unity that is secretly present in each soul, we inadvertently add to the growing darkness, divisions, and confusion that already threaten the world. The uniqueness of each individual life is the treasure hard to find. It’s the secret of the elixir in the individual. It’s the eternal thread that secretly weaves through all living things. The awakening, the healing, and the blossoming of our own souls becomes the way we can best contribute to the healing and the renewal that is secretly trying to happen even, and especially, when the world around us and the ocean of existence is churning again.” (Michael Meade. Living Myth Podcast. Episode 373: Lies that Poison, Truths that Heal). Michael Meade is a mythologist, author, and speaker whose work is as important as anyone’s to help us steer through the storms of our lives, both individually and collectively. My friend, Dan Price, sent me an episode of Living Myth last year and, since then, Michael has been a part of my awakening. Obviously, from the title of my website to the name of this podcast, the idea of awakening is one that is important to me. In fact, it is central to my life and everything that I do. To become fully present and fully alive. To know who I am and to step out of identification with the changing phenomena of this world that can satisfy momentarily but do not satisfy the deep yearning of the Soul. To let each moment, each desire, each sensation be a guide to awakening and living well while in this body here and now. I wholeheartedly resonate with Meade when he says, “The awakening, the healing, and the blossoming of our own souls becomes the way we can best contribute to the healing and the renewal [of our world]” (emphasis mine). Nothing comes close to touching my soul more than the awakening of a soul that seemed to be lost without hope of finding its way. And I’m not the only one, as evidenced by the thousands of stories with such awakening as their central theme. Last year, the Idaho Shakespeare Festival did a magnificent run of “Natasha, Pierre & The Great Comet of 1812.” No experience in live theater has moved me to such a depth more than the scene when the lost soul Pierre steps out alone into the night, feeling as if he has wasted his life, and gifts us with his inner journey in the song “Dust and Ashes.” Is this how I die? Ridiculed and laughed at Wearing clown shoes Is this how I die? Furious and reckless Sick with booze How did I live? I taste every wasted minute Every time I turned away From the things that might have healed me How long have I been sleeping? Is this how I die? Frightened like a child Lazy and numb Is this how I die? Pretending and preposterous And dumb How did I live? Was I kind enough and good enough? Did I love enough? Did I ever look up and see the moon and the stars and the sky? Oh, why have I been sleeping? They say we are asleep until we fall in love We are children of dust and ashes But when we fall in love we wake up And we are a god and angels weep But if I die here tonight I die in my sleep All of my life I spent searching the words of poets and saints and prophets and kings Now at the end all I know that I've learned is that all that I know is I don't know a thing So easy to close off Place the blame outside Hiding in my room at night So terrified All the things I could've been But I never had the nerve Life and love, I don't deserve So alright! Alright! I've had my time Close my eyes Let the death bells chime! Bury me in burgundy I just don't care! Nothing's left I looked everywhere! Is this how I die? Was there ever any other way my life could be? Is this how I die? Such a slough of feelings inside of me (Note: It is here, at the time when it feels like Pierre is giving up, that he hears his soul and there is a change in the pulse of his heart and attitude of his mind from one of despair to one of questioning and wondering.) But then why am I screaming? Why am I shaking? Oh God, was there something that I missed? Did I squander my divinity? Was happiness within me the whole time? They say we are asleep until we fall in love We are children of dust and ashes But when we fall in love we wake up And we are a god and angels weep But if I die here tonight I die in my sleep (Note: And now something rises up in Pierre, a resurrected longing to wake up and live, to use what is left of his life to awaken). They say we are asleep until we fall in love And I'm so ready To wake up now I wanna wake up Don't let me die while I'm like this I wanna wake up God, don't let me die while I'm like this Please let me wake up now God, don't let me die while I'm like this I'm ready I'm ready To wake up As I mentioned earlier, the first time I heard this song and saw it performed, I was shaken to the core. An almost full moon shone over the outdoor theater along the Boise River that summer night and Pierre stood alone on stage, crying out, pleading, and, ultimately, surrendering. I could hear my soul joining in chorus with Pierre’s. Finding a treasure hard to find. The eternal thread that weaves through all living things. The underlying unity that awakens, heals, and blossoms. I want to wake up. More and more and more. I hear the refrain from a childhood song: This little light of mine. I wanna let it shine. All my life, this has been the driving passion of my life and the song that my soul longs to sing. More and more, I am awakening, letting the light shine, and singing the song of my heart and soul. I am going to let it shine. I am letting it shine. To conclude, one of my students recently shared the following words by Marianne Williamson: “There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do…And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Shine on. Awaken. Engage with life. We need you. Peace.