Barclays quits climate group for climate, Tesla’s fake pay, CEOs are men, Harley’s golf CEO: Nuggets

What this episode covers

DAMION1 In our 'Treaty Talks Begin With Bold New Commitment to Avoid Commitment: Delegates agree to form a task force to consider considering action and then unite to Say 'Plastic Is Bad'—Then Go Back to Their Plastic-Filled Hotels' headline of the week. Here’s what to watch for at this month’s global plastics treaty talks Negotiators from more than 170 countries are arriving in Geneva, Switzerland, this week to resume discussions over the United Nations plastics treaty, eight months after they missed their original deadline for finalizing the pact. Many delegates, advocacy groups, and U.N. officials are hopeful that the 10-day session will result in a final agreement that delivers on the U.N.’s objective to “end plastic pollution.” But progress has been slow at each of the five preceding sessions, in large part due to a consensus-based decision-making structure that has allowed oil-producing countries to obstruct progress. In our 'Hey Ma, the dude who got his BA at Haverford College which costs $93,600 and received his JD from Stanford is mansplaining about elite colleges, can you grab my water bottle and my red lawn chair?!' headline of the week. Palantir CEO Alex Karp takes a shot at elite colleges and says the company offers 'a new credential independent of class In our 'It's better off helping people without formal biology expertise design or recreate biological threats like toxins or pathogens' headline of the week. OpenAI says ChatGPT shouldn't tell you to break up with someone In our 'What an asshole! The next thing he'll probably do is call out other banks for breaking their climate pledges ' headline of the week. Banking CEO breaks from the pack on return to office. He goes in 4 days a week but leaves the rest up to the ‘adults’ he works with Standard Chartered CEO Bill Winters In our 'Citizen Journalist Robbie Starbuck and The National Legal and Policy Center prepare shareholder proposal calling out Microsoft and asking “What about MEN’S ovaries? This is woke biology gone too far.”' headline of the week. Gates Foundation is giving $2.5 billion to fund women’s health research MATT1 In our '8Ks revealed that Charlie Scharf, Wells Fargo's CEO, was awarded $30m to open his mindspace, Steven Hemsley at UnitedHealth was given $60M to center his chi, and Goldman's CEO DJ DSol got $80m to attune his crystals and align his money aura.' headline of the week. Tesla Grants Musk $29 Billion in Stock to Keep ‘Elon’s Energies Focused’ In our 'Specifically, the part where they ran someone over' headline of the week. Jury Says Tesla Was Partly to Blame for Fatal Crash In our 'Reports suggested the awning was made of cybertruck trim, the tables were actually crashed robotaxis, and the chicken wings were made from old Nazi bathroom graffiti' headline of the week. Tesla Diner Patio Covering Collapses, Smashes Mother on Head and Barely Misses Baby In our 'Retention awards for "continued leadership"? Or pay for focus? Pay to show up? Pay for "energy"? Relocation pay for my sister's cousin's condo in Ottawa? ' headline of the week. 2025 CEO Priorities Adapt to changing external environments and regulatory landscape Manage growth and investment amid current fiscal outlook Create a resilient supply chain Access to talent and workforce Articulate a vision for an AI and tech-enabled enterprises Embrace opportunities for personalized consumer experiences Understand the changing environmental challenges Shape the leadership team Articulate Vision and strategy, and tell your story as a leader Drive performance Ensure proper governance processes Collaborate with the board Optimize organizational structure Align communications Satisfy shareholders and stakeholders Build the culture Navigate geopolitical uncertainty In our 'If you can't tell your kid with a fever of 102 to suck it up and fuck off, maybe this company isn't for you' headline of the week. 5 things the AT&T CEO's sweeping memo says about where corporate America is headed His name is John Stankey "If a self-directed, virtual, or hybrid work schedule is essential for you to manage your career aspirations and life challenges, you will have a difficult time aligning your priorities with those of the company and the culture we aim to establish," Stankey wrote. DAMION2 In our 'I refuse to celebrate until we reach 7.3%' headline of the week. The share of female CEOs running Global 500 companies hits a record high of 6.6% In our 'Houston American Energy Corp. announces that finally the phrase “Let’s hear what she thinks” can be said in the boardroom without an immediately ironic chuckle, now it can be an authentic condescending chuckle' headline of the week. Houston American Energy Corp. Appoints Martha J. Crawford to Board of Directors In our 'Great, when he's done creating a practical application of cold fusion, could he explain why anyone would buy a Cybertuck, have him finish my daughter's algebra homework, and then share the wisdom behind Intel's stock price being down 22% from the day he started as Intel CEO?' headline of the week. Jim Cramer on Intel CEO: “He Totally Understands Everything” In our 'After a nice brunch, they went to the aquarium and then to a poetry reading' headline of the week. Mary McDowell Joins Zebra Technologies Board of Directors In our 'They named him Peter Semple, after their great grandfather, and then chained him to his desk ' headline of the week. Depop names permanent CEO MATT2 In our 'US companies give investors a break from voting NO on every shareholder proposal this year' headline of the week. US companies deny record number of shareholder votes Average vote for ESG proposal: 20%. Average vote against ESG proposal: 80%. In our 'Please don't say suicidal ideation, aggression, reality detachment, and hallucinations, please don't say suicidal ideation, aggression, reality detachment, and hallucinations, please don't say suicidal ideation, aggression, reality detachment, and hallucinations...' headline of the week. A New Paper Just Found Something Horrifying About Kids Who Get Phones Early in Life Chief scientist Tara Thiagarajan found that among the more than 100,000 18-to-24-year-olds whose outcomes they tracked, those who got phones when they were younger experienced more suicidal ideation, aggression, reality detachment, and hallucinations as they aged. In our 'Man leaves gym and goes to Wendy's to get fit' headline of the week. Barclays leaves Net Zero Banking Alliance to combat climate change If you want to prove your commitment to transitioning Barclays, feel free to use our data to vote out every director that underperforms on climate! In our 'Olive Garden appoints car mechanic as executive chef' headline of the week. Harley-Davidson board appoints Topgolf executive as next CEO Artie Starrs has been golf CEO, Pizza Hut CEO, is on a non profit board that helps underprivileged children, got an economics degree from Princeton, and he enjoys hiking, playing golf, listening to live music. He sounds exactly like someone who rides a Harley. In our 'SOMEONE IS ACTUALLY FIGHTING. And of course it's a female founder.' headline of the week. A long-running anti-DEI lawsuit could help companies defend themselves from reverse-racism claims Elizabeth Gore of Hello Alice is fighting Stephen Miller’s AFL lawsuit brought on behalf of a white trucker in Ohio who says they didn’t get a shot at a grant that went to someone black - and Gore is winning because it’s all a fucking joke Meanwhile, Brown, Harvard, Colombia and the high priced Ivies are folding like cowards Reach out to Hello Alice or Gore, offer help or support, join the service, because somewhere there is someone fighting bullshit Figma IPO QUIZ The Figma IPO Figma founder and CEO Dylan Field What percentage of shares does he actually own in the company? 17% What is total voting power? 74% How many votes per share are magical Class B shares worth? 15 votes per share What percentage of Class B shares does Dylan control? 99% There are 5 executive officers and 10 directors, how many are women? 2 (directors) Who is the chair of the Figma board? CEO and founder and controlling shareholder Dylan Field How many friendships with Peter Thiel does Dylan Field have? 1 How many college degrees does Dylan Field have? 0 Where did Dylan Field drop out of? Brown Who paid Dylan Field to drop out of college? Peter Thiel In addition to his shareholdings, how much is Dylan Field due to receive if the stock price hits $130 (it already was over $124) $2B in equity Which CEO’s pay package was Dylan Field’s pay package modeled after? Elon Musk How many years does Dylan Field have to reach that stock price hurdle? 10 How old is this very rich college dropout? 33 In response to a question about how he was going to change the world, what did Dylan Field say? He was going to build better software for drones. Then I’m guessing Figma must truly benefit humanity if this guy is so rich, what does Figma do exactly? Figma is a collaborative web application for interface design, with additional offline features enabled by desktop applications for macOS and Windows. The feature set of Figma focuses on user interface and user experience design, with an emphasis on real-time collaboration,[3] utilizing a variety of vector graphics editor and prototyping tools.