Good to see you. I Was your boss your boss your boss your gay kids gazade. I'm a pale I uh hold on any a second. Okay, all right Javu day Shose ke vune a quasi pa Blade Runner total recall and now Bowser yeah, yeah This is gonna be our most Gemma pelle episode today Bienvenu from from gay Philly and gain new gelsie.
This is of course Dick me, our discussion of the Filmic adaptations of the works of Philip K. Dick. Stephen King of Sifanel. Just kidding.
Last, you know, as I mentioned, we've watched Blade Runner, we've watched Total Recall. And now something completely different, I would say. And now for something completely different. But not so much British as Neurbrin.
That's right. 1992's Baljo. Yes. Barjo spelled B-A-R-J-O if you didn't hear it in the song.
Right. Also known as Confessions. Boom. Baljo.
It was a 1992 French film, not well known in the States, I would say. Had you heard of Baljo before watching it? No, of course not. I mean, they're 45 minute episodes.
I can feel it. This is an adaptation of Confessions of a Crap Artist. Better title. Yeah, better title.
It's the rare non-Sifai PKD, a full novel. As with the film, it really is just about like a shrew of a wife and a bastard husband and how things fall apart. Yeah. Yeah.
No, that's fine. Okay. Let's see who's in this. Let's see.
There's a French guy, a French lady, and a second French guy. Thoughts? All right, Dan. This is, I, right off of that, I didn't like it.
I don't have a strong feeling. It's really one way or the other about the French. I enjoy the French films that I've watched. Go dart.
Good dart films. You know? The two French filmmakers go dart and film. Yeah, it is kind of funny though.
If somebody's like, do you watch French movies or whatever French films? Are you into that sort of thing? They are talking about essentially the Criterion Collection French section. Right.
The most sort of popular, you know, the critically acclaimed. Yeah, yeah. Or like obviously like, it's just like more popular films or films that like have meaning or have, you know, set some sort of a, uh, a precedent. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's rare that I think anybody digs a little deeper into like the, what's like a, what's like a middle of the road kind of like. Right.
Okay. Like, yeah, what's like third on the marquee on like a Friday or something, you know? It's, it's worth no. Yeah.
Cause like, this is my experience with like Italian films also. Like, I mean, Italy, of course, a nation of just like horny Cretans, so just subhuman in almost every way. Yes. But I remember like in high school and college, like I took Italian classes and like you watch like the good stuff.
But in the case of Italy, like even the bad stuff crosses over your Roberto Benignes, of course, it's two episodes in a row. He's come up. But yeah, that is like, that is the thing. They are, they are so much more than their good media.
Yes. Over there. Yes. And that's worth remembering.
Yeah. This is like, this is like, um, this would be like if, you know, you're like whole concept of American cinema was like, you know, the 70s guys and then you're like, Oh, what's this? Uh, what's this? Uh, Encino Man.
Yeah. Yeah. 100%. This is the Encino Man of French cinema.
Um, it's, it is interesting to me though, like the way is that like this feels like again, I feel like I said this about something else recently. This has the vibe of like watching a novel. Uh huh. You know what I mean?
Where it's like the struct, there's no real structure to it. Stuff kind of just like happens a little bit. Is that because so much of it is told like with over like, yeah, we saw him. For Barjo giving his narrations while also like you hear the clap, the clacking of his typewriter is that gives it that novel feel.
You know, I hadn't thought about it. I guess that must be it. I don't know. I mean, like, I guess there's like this movement in it was we should talk about the experience of watching it.
Yeah. Yeah. So I throw on my bar show. I go on.
I go to my bar show app bar, barjo.ly. I have it installed. It's on the IO, the Apple and Google Play stores. Yep.
Um, and I fired up. Yeah. And for the first few seconds, I'm like, okay, I under, I read these subtitles. No problem.
Yeah. We've started before. We've talked subtitles before. I'm not a damn idiot.
Yeah. I'm not a bar show over here. Listen, I'm a bar show. I'm a lot of things.
Yeah. I'm a bar show. And so, yeah, I get a few. We'll talk about the theme song, but I just want to establish here the first few seconds, everything's hunky-dory.
Proceeding as these things often do, you'll get the screen, you read the words, you look back up at the visual and you sort of synthesize the two in your mind. Is that fair to say? Yeah. I think that you've explained it.
Things got a little hairy after those first few seconds. Yeah. The sentences started going in directions. No one could see coming.
They got turned inside out a little bit. Yeah. No, I'm sorry, going going. Oh, you know, in Galaxy Quest where they try to use the transporter and like the dog thing comes back inside out?
Yeah. It was like that with the sentences. Yeah. Transported it from France to the United States and it got turned inside out.
Yeah. At one point, I saw a time code on the screen for where the where the subtitle was supposed to line up. Yeah, I saw that too. Miss.
So there's no, uh, there's no like good release of this movie. Uh, it never made its dog shit movie. Well, just kidding. So, you know, reading a little history of the release, it only made it to VHS.
So right off of that, it's only a VHS quality. You can watch this movie on YouTube, which is where I got the video from and the, uh, subtitles are burned into it. The, you know, we watch a some Plex. Plex has this like, uh, one of its features is that like, you know, if the movie doesn't have the subtitles and you need them, it will search through like a whole archive of films with subtitles and try and find the right match for you.
This movie had none. You could not. Plex was like, I don't know what this is. It was get it out of here.
It's Barjo. Yeah. What is this? Barjo.
So yeah, I mean, the quality, it looks like it was shot on a quasal. You know, it's, it's probably like if shot on a quasal. Yeah. If DVDs are like 480p, right?
This was probably like 480c. Yeah. It's in a low 60s. Okay.
Yeah, that's, that's fair. It's very pixelated. And then which was cool. It was hard to understand what the characters were talking about.
It also was hard to barely happen. It was happening. Yeah. Visually and, and orally inscrutable.
Yeah. It was like an art film. This, it literally, this movie is less than an hour and a half. I think it's like 80 minutes or so.
Which normally we love. Oh, God. We love when a movie is 80 American minutes. But you know, the French, they move a little slower.
They do. Like a little slower. They, they stop and enjoy uncafe. It's just a different lifestyle over there, which, you know, I like it.
You know, I like what they're all about over there. When it comes to their cinema, this took me a week, a whole week of watching it in like five minute chunks because I would watch it, try and fucking, I would read the subtitles, then have to translate them in my own head. It was like, you have the French speaking, the French actors speaking, then you have the subtitles, which make sense. It seems like I have to use context clues of their act, their emotions.
And then what the subtitles are trying to say maybe. And then from there, I can like sort of unscramble this code. It really was like someone translated this for like a high school language class, like the way that, um, yeah, and not to not to get woke mind virus on here, but the way like pronouns would flip in between sentences and like it became impossible to tell who anybody was talking about. Um, verb tenses obviously stood no chance.
It was just a disaster. Um, fascinating though. Like it kind of, I feel like a bit rewired by the experience of watching. I feel sharper.
Oh, yeah. I started going to the gym after this. It's just like, I can kind of see forever. Yeah.
So yeah, so far to change your life is what you're saying. Yeah. Yeah. Beginning of whatever.
Or wait, is it like a, what song is that at the beginning of that sublime song where someone says punk rock changed our lives? Oh, uh, yeah. It's like, yeah, yeah. A minute man song or something is, uh, is the man?
It's, it's some like much better band. Yeah. Um, it might be bad religion. No, it is a minute man.
It's history lesson part two. Oh, what? And then, uh, that's a good question. Let's find out.
Is that free? Oh, oh, so history lesson part two is the minute man song. It's at the beginning of waiting for my Ruka, which is the opening track on for you. That's just freedom.
All right. Well, I know more about sublime than I do in a minute. Yeah. And I know more about the minimum than I do the French.
So, uh, when, um, minut, how do you say man is home? H.O.M. Me like Josh. This opens this up in a high school.
You take French or Spanish, Italian, uh, the motherland. Yeah. This pies on over here. I had to, I had to understand again, touch with my roots.
Oh, that's fun too. Oh, but I forgot the learning anything I didn't want to learn. I didn't want to be there. Yeah.
Is this, are you still doing an Italian guy? Yeah. I don't know. Uh, I definitely, I think subconsciously thought either I would be more interested in it or it would come more easily to me due to like ancestral memory.
Yeah. Yeah. Like, I really care the language to be passed on through DNA and it would just unlock something in your brain. Yeah.
Oh, I could actually speak this. I already know how to do this. Yeah. But it is a real testament to my lifelong commitment to like making the least practical, like not giving things any thought, but always like making the wrong chance or wrong choice, like more than should be statistically possible.
Yeah. You would think like if you're just like firing blind, you'd hit the target at least once in a while. Sure. But I'm just like, I got to take it.
It wouldn't God forbid I learn a little bit of Spanish to get through the world, you know, like navigate. Uh huh. Uh huh. Yeah.
Like I'm never going to be not that long ago. Someone who only spoke Spanish came up to me and was like asking for directions and I did my best to help her. Sure. But God, how I wish she'd been like an organ grinder or something.
Yeah. It's not. I mean, Spanish doesn't seem like maybe the most practical thing to know right now. And then maybe, I don't know, Chinese or Russian for the future, but yeah, French definitely not on the on the list here.
A nation in decline. Yeah. I don't know what's going on over there. Maybe they're fine.
I'm sure they're fine. They're doing fine. Uh, but that's Barjo doing not great. Rob.
So bar show for 1992 directed by a general French guy. Yeah. Whoa. It's got to be Jerome, right?
No, I mean, maybe it is general. Both of you. Yeah. Jeremy Levine.
Okay. Well, I mean, who also directed the movie Baxter we talked about Baxter, which after watching not the Baxter, no, no, no, not the Michael Showalter movie. It's about a dog who can think that'll be the day back still. Yeah, yeah.
See how that stuff backstop. Oh, yeah. Here it is. He where of the dog that thinks right.
The scariest thing. Maybe ever a dog that can think. There is a version of this poster where the dog has a thought bubble coming off of his head. Hell yeah.
And he says, I am Baxter. I think that my life would be much easier if I didn't need people birds and cats. They don't need anyone. They just they trust nothing.
Perhaps one day I'll kill one. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Shut down, france, till we can figure out what's going on.
Shut it down, man. Shut it down. Yeah. So I was reading some some real smarty pants reviews on on rotten tomatoes from audience members who claim that this is their favorite Philip K.
Dick adaptation. This is my favorite read them. You have them up? Yeah.
Okay, good bar show the best film adaptation of any Philip K. Dick book that I've seen director Jerome Boven, they pulled off a very entertaining and faithful version with great acting from etcetera, etcetera. Sadly, only available on VHS worth the trouble to find Jesus Christ. I don't know how true that was that just written by a beret with hands.
Hold on. Let me see who this was written by the beret that can think. Oh, no, it was written by a baguette. Okay.
That to me feels like this is after Blake, this is the best adaptation of the Philip K. Dick story, different review. What we doing here, guys? I think this is actually similar to the like the problem with say you're Stephen King die hearts and Stephen King himself for that matter.
Yeah. Where the merit of an adaptation is judged only on its faithfulness to the source material, not if it's a accurate, entertaining story to tell. Yeah, not if it's good or comprehensive. That's the other thing.
These people, I'm assuming, watch the same dubs or subs rather that we did. They must have. And therefore, how can they know what's going on? All they know is that like the broad strokes are the same, that there's like a weird guy and his mean sister and her mean husband.
Right. So they're like, oh, perfect. Reminds me of Blade Runner. Yeah, obviously reminds me of Blade Runner.
So who's in this series, this bar show from 1992? We don't have to do this. We don't have the only five people are picking. We don't have the only five people are going to bring her and brush it.
For sure. For sure. Okay. He for light.
Garardo. All right. Actually, I want you to do the rest of the cast. I want you to do the Veland who was a boot tofu.
Oh, he breezed right through an Adelie. Nice. And then, you know, the farm animals, et cetera. How about that horse?
Great acting by the horse. Great acting by the horse. When the horse gets shot, when they show all those dead animals, do you think they killed those animals for real? I was wondering like what kind of protections there are in France or if they were just like, we will eat it.
He's been, he's no big deal. Like a horse. A horse could be trained to take a fall like that. It's not like doing a running.
It can, but who has that kind of time? Yeah. Who is that kind of time? And when they have to shoot their house.
Is it a crane that's removing the dead horse? It's just sort of limply hanging there? Like you can sedate a horse to do that. I'm sure they have done that before.
So maybe that horse isn't dead. But like the goose? Yeah. I think that goose is gone.
I'm sorry. That's a gone goose. Yeah. For sure.
You think they killed 20 animals to make confessions of a bar, Joe? Have you seen that? The new David Fincher movie, Gungus? Gungus?
Oh yeah, and you can see its corkscrew penis. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I heard it's CGI penis.
Computer goose image. Yeah. I guess I heard that too. So bar, Joe.
Bar, Joe. I love a bar, Joe. I love the song. I like when he comes at the beginning.
He goes along. He goes along and goes, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. What's that about? What the fuck is this movie about?
What the fuck is this? Okay, so it's about Baljo and Phan Phan. And they are their sister twins even. Ooh, wait, wait a second.
This isn't Anne twins' peaks, is it? It's not. It's just twins. Okay.
Barjo, fun, fun. So the movie is told, there's a lot of voice over, right? Narrated by Barjo. Barjo translates to like nutcase, or nutjob, or Wikipedia.
Right. It's like, I saw, you know, other places, it's like, idiot, or yeah, other places. Other places. Paris, different places.
Yeah, so yeah, idiot, nutcase, nutjob. Crap artist, like, not really, you know, that's the title of a novel. That's not a phrase I've ever heard outside of the title of a novel. Crap artist.
Yeah, have you heard this? No. No. It's basically, it's basically meant to mean like, in both cases, I think the character is like, he's like stupid, but obsessed with science, in a way that makes him very prone to like, bad science and bad information.
In the novel, he's like a full on like obsessive compulsive. Like has OCD. And so like, a lot of the sort of like theories he subscribes to sort of like indulge those compulsions. A big one at the beginning of the book is his belief that the sunlight has weight, and that like, hundreds of millions of pounds of sunlight have fallen to earth in the past 10 years.
The earth is just getting heavier and heavier. So there's like all that kind of stuff going on. In this, in the film, his main sort of like, there's a runner where he collects the like caps from milk bottles and keeps them in a plastic bag and sniffs them. Yeah, he keeps like huffing them.
Like when he. Huffing sour milk smell. Yeah. There's one part where he's visiting his brother-in-law.
And he's churros, yes. He's churros. He's sitting with other patients in the hospital and one of them like kind of, elbows, I'm like, hey, can I get a full off of that? Yeah.
I don't know man. I know like, Darien stuff is better over there. But I don't know about all that. I don't know about all that either.
So the film opens with Barjo describing his own birth. Yes. And there's like this recurrent image of like a headlight on like a motorcycle in the darkness. I don't know.
Very downright lynching, wouldn't you say? Sure. No, no, it is. It sits down my lynching.
You get a little bit about Barjo and fun, fun. She's like very controlling has been her whole life. She burns his shit a lot. Yeah, there's science and lights and on fire.
He takes all of his science and lights and on fire. It's exactly what happens. There's a scene, they do like a flashback or whatever of young Barjo and all and young, fun, fun and fan is has like a bonfire going and it's all of his shit. So just as a young boy, he's being tormented by his sister.
This awful woman. This is the shrew. Yeah. He seems like kind of oblivious to it though.
Like it's just like, oh yeah, she burned all my shit, but yeah, some Barjo. Yeah. Guess I'm just Barjo. I guess I'm just fucking Barjo.
Jesus man, I must just be Barjo over here. And we will say Barjo one, two, two thousand more times. It's the best thing about this movie is the word Barjo. Right.
And the theme. And the little song. That's got got on the board permanently. It's going on the board.
All right, hell yeah. That's Barjo's legacy. It's on the board. So then like in adulthood, he's living on his own, doing his own experiments and stuff.
Can't like seemingly hold a job down or anything due to being a Barjo. Yeah, I mean, like he is an insane person. Right. Like he's essentially like a he's a conspiracy believer.
He's a flat earther. One of those guys, you know, he is sunlight has weight. Sunlight has weight. Or some of the other fucking I did read like some of his crazy fucking weirdo theories that he had.
It was like sunlight had weight. Oh fuck else. Hollow earth, some of that. Oh, right.
Yeah, they like kind of get into that. They get into it a bit. Yeah. So Barjo and then pretty early on in the movie, Barjo's residence is burned down with all of his all of his science in there.
Yeah, after most of the better part of a lifetime of rebuilding his destroyed collection of bunk science. Right. His crackpot theories and stuff. He manages to save this one sort of trunk, which I guess has like an elaborate collection of Rolodex cards with bits of information on it.
Yeah, I like that thing. That was when someone Charles was asking about like, was it Eche? Yeah. Yeah.
And when he's taking his portable shower, which also is like inconsistent to me with like being like being Barjo, being Barjo, it's like, are you a are you like a dumb weird guy? Or are you are you an inventor of suitcase showers? Like it's a stupid idea, but it worked perfectly. It's true.
Yeah, it wasn't like a, you know, I've invented like a time machine inside of a suitcase and I have to climb inside of it and have to be a weird guy right now. He didn't make a suitcase shower and it did sink for just fine. And by the way, I take it back. It's not a stupid idea.
What if you're like a rest stop or something? You could take a quick shower. Oh, no. I mean, like in theory, it's not a bad idea.
Barjo, they should change his name to the French word for say genius. If we only knew what that word was, Jean, Jean, Jean, Jean, Jean. So this is maybe confessions of Jean. Jean, Jean, it sounds like Aladdin to the end of a land one, or as a sort of like moment when Aladdin has his moment.
No, the genie he's like, he's like down on his luck. He's like, well, whatever, I don't even care. I don't even fucking care. So Barjo's house is burned down.
He rescued some things from including that bag of milk tops. And then he asks his sister, or he says, his sister is not like, it's not like a word of the state or anything like that. But it does seem like she has to take him in. He's like, really doesn't want to.
Yeah, he's like, he's like a neat, you know, the term neat. No, it's an internet acronym. It stands for not in education, employment or training. It's just like a person with like no prospects who just kind of like, you know, lives off like limited means and just like does their thing kind of like not sums it up for me, Dan.
Yeah, you're a bit of a you can't spell Barjo without Rob. And you know, I mean, it's all in there. All three, all three. You also can't spell without job.
I don't know, but he doesn't have one. I might actually have a job now. Wait, really? Yeah.
That's awesome. Yeah. I mean, to the, you know, that's the job. So are awesome.
Sure. Congrats on replacing one worry with another. Yes, thank you. Yeah.
Way to go. Yeah. I'll tell you what you're doing. I'm bartending.
I'm out 10. Bock toned. Bock job. Hey, I'll JOB.
Yeah. Nice. So congrats. Thank you.
Thank you. I can so easily picture you cleaning a pint glass with a rag. Yeah. I mean, that's like just a quick sidebar here.
Years ago, this is maybe like 2019 or 18 or something. The real housewives of New Jersey where they came to my restaurant. It was like a big deal, right? They had like this.
There was like a private room in the back with his big table. So the cameras were all there. They were like shooting at the restaurant and me and the other bartender that were working. Like we weren't anywhere near where they were filming, whatever we didn't want any part of it, of course.
But like there was not a whole lot going on in the rest of the bar. So it was just kind of us milling around, not doing anything. Yeah. And then like once the cameras did start, like, you know, they did have to walk past the bar to like go in and out.
We did like do the thing where I literally just picked up a glass and started like wiping it off. Just like doing that. Just like NPC bartender shaded in the background, you know. The other bartender called me out.
He's like, you're just like looking busy right now for the cameras. And I'm like, yeah, he's like, it's a good idea. Let me grab that. Yeah, clearly you have a background in film.
You know how to like be an extra. Yeah, I'm just I'm just doing the thing that I'm dressed for. Yeah. Pantomiming conversations.
Yeah, totally. Malting was it like cantaloupe and watermelon? Is that a thing you're supposed to like not, you know, like the mouth mouth movements? Do you make it look like you're saying something?
Yeah, I did. Yeah. Is it like, man, there used to be something else to do that. It doesn't matter.
Whatever. But that is like the the NPC motion. There's like a handful of them at you. Yeah, you acquire for working behind the bar that you just like look busy and you're like, we watch something down.
I don't know. You can also like I like this one too, where you like futz around below the counter and make it like just something's going on down there. Done that many times. Yeah.
Just like this thing that nobody else can see needs straightening. If only you knew how busy I was down here. If you only know how how shitty it looks back here and I I I just I have to, you know, take take the time and just rearrange this. Like I can't look up right now.
I'm looking at this. I'm so sorry. I'll make your drink in a minute, but this cannot wait. Yeah, I can't wait.
Can't wait. I'm arranging the forks back here. I can't do it. So far enough bar jobs.
Let's talk about bar Joe. Don't say like you thought of it. I know. I know you said like a minute ago.
I'm just just using it. So a bar show on a t-shirt. Enough bar jobs. Yeah.
Seemed suggestive. Yeah. That's a bar job. Maybe it's supposed to say broad job, but what's that?
That's a broad job. Now, where can I get one Victoria's secret? Hey. So after the house burns down, Charles and fan fan, they take bar Joe into their home and he they live on like they live in a nice house with like animals, not really a farm, but kind of a farm.
Right. Yeah. This is yeah, they're like out in the country is how it's described. Yeah.
And also consistent with the novel and the novel they live in like Marin County, like out in the middle of nowhere. There are a lot of there are a lot of details about the house itself, which like I think are funny and basically the house was like designed by the fun, fun character, whatever her name is in that. And she made it like completely unlippable by accident. Like it's this first of all, it's like gigantic and she insisted on like some kind of like heating system, some like then cut it like state of the art heating system, but like because the house is so big and because like the climate there is so cool, it just like wouldn't keep the house hot.
And then also it was like sinking into the land and stuff because it was built on like a concrete slab and the rain didn't like drain off of the property. That's fun stuff. I understand why it's impractical for a movie. That was made those made for I'm seeing here.
It says 5.5 million croissants. Yeah. Yeah. So Bargeau moves in and what we called it.
Bargeau moves in and that moves in and he is just a real pain in the ass. I guess not really. Not really. No, I mean, not in in so much as these people have their own lives, that they're trying to fuck up and then he's like coming in and being Bargeau.
You know, he he barge is in their lives. I don't know. We got like fan fan and Charles their marriage, right? And like, oh, get well.
So like one of the first things that happens after he moves in is that he is in the car with fan fan and they're going to the store and she sees like a pretty girl. Yes. And like goes up to her and starts screaming in her face. Yes.
And it's not clear why. No, it's not even to this day. Because this is told like chronologically, right? Like this isn't like any kind of flash ahead.
I don't think so. No, it does seem like yeah, it's it's told chronologically. She walks up to this woman, starts yelling at her. What is she yelling about?
Like, you know, her husband, Charles, is that what's going on? That's kind of what it sounded like. But I mean, it is sort of like, I mean, this is also based on the very bad subtitles, too. So like it's not super clear.
Why are you yelling on her? This is so funny that we're doing this. I know. I know we should have skipped it.
It would have been a good. If the subtitles were, you know, real, right, it would have, you know, it's a whole different story. I could understand what everything that's happening here. Maybe we maybe we come out of this being like, Baojo, five French stars.
But how many Americans was it? What's the trends? Lation. Yeah, what have the translate to American stars?
What's the conversion rate there? Conversion rate. That's a good question. It's like half of half American star, probably, probably.
But you know what? With French stars, though, you also got like free healthcare and stuff. So it all kind of comes out. Yeah, it comes out.
Yeah. It comes down the wash. All right. Well, yeah.
So she does so fan finance yelling at this woman, right? In the store and then Baojo, Baojo plays like sort of a an observer to this and the whole time he's a wattu type. He's a bit of a watcher that way. Yeah.
Um, but he's anything but impartial. I'm sorry to say. No, I asked Dan this. I couldn't write.
I could not tell at a certain point. I couldn't tell if Baojo was writing these things and they were happening or if they were happening and he was writing them down. I think they were happening and he was writing them down. I became more confident of that as a moving on, right?
Yes. So he is he's just sort of like taking notes on everything that is happening here. Yeah. Point of interest, may I please?
Um, so something in the novel and again, I didn't read the whole thing, but even within like the first 50 pages, they kind of established that he like he is prone to filling in the gaps. He's like, he's like given how well I know my sister and her husband, I can imagine the conversation when something like this and he just sort of like fabricates dialogues and situation, you know, like situations that he feels must have occurred. So I think maybe that's what's going on. It's like that plus like if he's supposed to be obsessive compulsive, it's like right like what the doomsday call to sort of like you're looking for signs everywhere and these things seem to sort of like fit together super naturally.
Sure. Right. Yeah. You don't even want to hear about how this movie might work.
No, you know what? I you're mad that I'm treating it like any other movie, a not far show. More than you can say. No, usually I will poo poo poo talking about the novel, but in this case, please.
Necessary. Please. The only it's the best chance we've got. Yeah, it's the only it's like a Rosetta Stone here for understanding bar show.
So when they're driving home from the store, they see the same woman writing her B.C. Globe B.C. Do you and fan stops and it seems like she's like apologizing and she's like here. Let me give you a ride and then she puts her bike in the back of the car and then the woman is like, no, thank you.
And it takes like out and then gets back on the road. And the whole time she's like, she's like, you're so fucking hot and you're so fucking hot. I'd love to dick you both down. Yeah.
She's like, if I tits like those, I'd have them out. You should have them out right now. Yeah. And samely, Chris, and being an American, I'm like, is this just how French people talk?
Because like my my sense is yes. Yeah, it does seem like this is like just a Tuesday for them. And it's just another Mardi for them. That's a Tuesday.
Oh, good. We got closed the Google translate tab, I hope and I'll show that to them. Let's put an end to this. Yeah, let's get this thing back and then else.
Yeah. So this woman does, but she meets. The woman's name is Gwen and is Michael Michael is her. Michelle, Michelle, her husband, right?
Yeah. And yeah, fan fans are very attracted to both of them, but then she's. She's into Michelle. We find out.
We find out also that like she's been kind of like stalking this couple. Yeah, first sees them at like a gas station. She's like, she's like the Chris Kyle of wanting to fuck people. She sees them from like 200 yards away.
And she's like, yep. Chris Kyle, American sniper is like fan fan in confessions of our show. Yeah. And what they have in common is that they're both targeting innocent families.
But yeah, she's like, she sees them at a gas station and, you know, Charles is like trying to go home or whatever. And she's like, wait, wait, wait, wait. Let's kidnap them and fuck them. Basic.
She's like, we should try to fuck them, right? He's like, what is wrong with you? Like, I, what are you talking about? We're at a gas station in the middle of the night right now.
And she's like, no, let's fuck those people across the street. And she goes running over and a truck, like a big, like semi drives by. And they do that thing where like as soon as the truck passes, they have disappeared. Yeah.
I imagine that they really see the cut. Yeah. I imagine they, they just grabbed onto the truck as it was passing by and just got like scooped up. Yeah.
That is such a weird device. Like, is that like a, is that supposed to be like a bar show flight of fancy? A bar show flourish. A bar show of flurs.
Put that bar show of stank on it. Maybe. I don't know. But yeah, bar show with stank on that thing.
And, uh, yeah, Fanfant is just like, she is kind of like, uh, she's as crazy as Charles. She is as crazy as Charles. These two are both loco. Now, fanfant, we learn also that Fanfant stole Charles away from this other Chica, who was like a successful artist who was obsessed with him, even though he looks like shit and she's like a beautiful young woman.
And he's like, ah, she's like, please fuck me. He's like, I can't, I'm too busy looking like shit. Yeah. It's true.
Yeah. Uh, there's like a scene where the two, like his two suitors, his two lady suitors are driving with him in a sports car. And he's like, is my sports car cool? It really compensates for how I look.
Yeah. Which is like shit. Yes. And for some, somehow she like seduces him and wins his heart.
He's, he's a, he's got some money because he's the aluminum king, which is not a thing I would have thought like a type of guy I would think exists in France. Like the, the small tyrant, the small business tyrant. Yeah. That's fun.