In the name of the Holy Spirit, I pray to Father grind. Bless us, the Lord for these I sinned. I'm about to drop in. Father grind, please give me the strength for me to holly manual and do a fakey 360 off a half plate, bitch.
Father grind video and learn how to shred. We're selling pads, we've got shoes, we've got grip tape, we've got trucks, riser pads, wheels bearings, bolts, a skate gearman to teach you how to set up one of these bad boys. The Father grind Jason L is special right here, built by Paul Schmidt. It's out June 2024, Father grind.com.
Water is already nice. We haven't even started. I'm already sweating. Why are you sweating?
Because it's hot to be bad man. You don't know what it's like. I got the easy job. You do.
And you get cider. Father don't worry, movie. Don't worry, movie. The devil would have back up.
I caught the heart of desire. I bolted on fire. We're ready to kick your ass. Well, talk to the show.
Did you know that your mother is finally? That's our money. Welcome to the show. I'm Batman.
Your usual host isn't here. Nobody from the show is here. I took over the show because Jason went on vacation. Yeah, that's what they call it.
So I brought my friends, a team of elite friends that dedicate their lives to fighting crime or committing it. But just for this show, myself in pain are going to break bread, so to speak. Batman, I appreciate you allowing to let bygones be bygones. Just right after their show is I will kill you.
Oh, help me, God. I look forward to the challenge. 331, who are going down. You are going to die.
I will kill you. You will see. I was born in the numbers. I live in a darkness.
I'm friends with bats. Also, I have a good friend dear friend of mine who's gone through a lot recently. He's had some marital difficulties. And he's on the sauce.
So say hello to my good friend, the amazing cider man. When did he get the group chat? You didn't tell me pain was coming. He's not one of us.
Wonder woman blocked me. I didn't want to talk about it. That's why. She was a bitch.
You told me Wonder woman was going to be here. I haven't shaved. She left me. I'm fighting it difficult to go on.
What about my life? I have to take care of all my pets by myself. I need to fix it. I need a drinking hole.
Right. You look like you've already been drinking. It's been a rough few years. Ever since Deadpool came on the scene, I've kind of...
Right. He didn't drink your milkshake. He kind of... He did.
He stole my thunder. Wow. He's like you. But good.
Yeah. I never... I am good. I still don't know what you're doing here, man.
We've already been led by guns. We've already been led by guns. Yeah, I'm not buying into that yet. You will be destroyed.
I will kill you. I will. For sure. You will see.
I'll see. You will see. I'm also my... I'm looking...
In the dark. The cannoli boom. Cider. Yeah.
Pace yourself. My bad. Going to the gym is often I see. This morning, making that very sound through the bathroom all.
Yeah, it wasn't me. What sort of person? You can say that again. I lost my gym membership.
Right. My wife. You never guess. You lost your wife too?
Yeah. It's not easy. Nah. I see the cat is not the only nutless creature in this house.
Hey. Yeah, maybe you're right. We're all going through it. I'm sorry.
I was rooting for you and MJ. Yeah. Well, MJ. Ever since Deadpool, I got a job for...
I've got a job in... You're gonna throw up in your mask? Maybe. That'd be cool.
Yeah, maybe. Nobody would see it. It's like crying. What do you mean up to?
Why don't you invite me to your Pokémon anymore? I haven't been. He barely touched her. I haven't been doing it ever recent.
How you doing, mate? I've never met her. I've never met you before. I've only heard bad things about you.
I will also just roll you. Yes. After the show, if I was you in the shape, you're in. I would get out of here pretty quick.
Bane is always in the gym. He looks good. Yeah. Who's epic?
A little bit. You like science, Bane? I love science. Right.
The science of destroying Gotham is my life's work. How's your guys' shitty city doing? Pretty good. Still sucks.
Yeah. Looks like it. You guys fix those bridges? If you get tired, just throw a tent up anywhere.
They'll let you. I fix the football field. Just down either. I can be by myself at night.
What? So funny. That's all in work with us all. Thank you.
Thank you. Goddamn it. I need a shave. I think it suits you.
Thank you, Bane. Don't try to get out. I know that as soon as the show ends, you're going to... Come at me.
I'll have the right where I want you. I see what you're doing. It's not going to work. I'm on to you, Bane.
Spider-Man. Much crime lately. Yeah. Right.
I've seen any good shows. Oh. Yeah. Right.
Anyone try House of Dragons? I knew one of the old ones. I heard there's a new one coming back. Wait.
I thought that was the new one. It's back. Yeah. It's new again.
There's two new House of Dragons. There's new season two House of Dragons. Oh. Yeah, I didn't watch the first.
More Drag. I've actually gone into my reality phase on a bit of a housewife show guy now. Did you move to Australia recently? No.
Where's your accent from? I spent some time there. Right. It's rubbed off quickly.
Yeah, it does. It's nice down there. Yeah. Yeah.
There's lots of spiders. Big one. I was going to ask you, how do you feel about normal insects? I love them.
You've never killed. No, I love them. What about crickets? I fucked them up.
Fair. What about snails? Eat them. Really?
Delicious. Yeah. Wait, you eat snails too, Bane? A little butter and garlic.
Delicious. Yeah. I figured you would, yeah, I figured that. Huh.
What about scorpions? Also delicious. Stay away from them. Yeah.
You guys are kind of similar, but also different. We should hang out after I destroy you. Right. We can hang out.
How's your? I'll get your number from Batman. Yeah, I didn't do the group chat, Batman. I have it.
Put it on the group chat. Sometimes I call him at night just to see if he's up. I say what are you doing? He says just hanging out.
Get it. I'm pretty funny at night. Not so much in the day. My bad.
Aren't you Bruce Wayne in the daytime? No. Who's that? I'm Batman.
Oh. 24-7. I'm just watching him. Chris Wayne is a super cool guy who I would never have any problem with.
Right. It's always disappearing. Right. You're you all the time.
24-7. How do you feel about evil millionaires? I'm a fan of all forms of evil. Right.
I'm a bit of an evil millionaire myself. I have to be paying all these goods somehow. Spider-Man. Spider-Man, are you out of web?
I'm trying to get this thing going again. Right. I thought he was flitting us off like an Italian grandmother. Yeah.
You're a boss. I've webbed. Where are your gloves? It's hard to drink in them.
Right. Wow, you've really let yourself go. Spider-Man's birthday. Yeah.
So, have you seen any good films? Oh, but I know it was pretty good. I thought that was World of Serving. Who?
Oppenheimer, the one about the bomb? Yeah, I didn't watch it. I thought it was very World of Serv. I sat next to him on the airplane.
Oppenheimer, I'm flying back from New York. I thought he died. I thought there's a movie about him. Yeah, he died.
It was a long time ago. No, I sat next to the actor. He was in one of your movies. You're a self-sighter man.
He was in one of your movies. Mine. He was in it. Who?
He played the other bad guy. What's he talking about? The other guy before Bane. He led just a long day.
No, no, he led to the guy that won the Oscar this year. It's gonna grow. I don't watch movies. He was in your movie.
That guy. I sat next to him flying back from New York. I told him he was gonna win it, actually. Yeah, that guy.
You know who I sat next to yesterday on the plane home from Vegas? Who, Sighter Man. Nicolas Cage. And his wife and baby.
He helped all of his, that guy. He's actually looking pretty good. Did he get fake hair? He might have.
Yeah. People are doing that now. You didn't notice it. No, I played with the baby a little.
You played with, wait. You played with his child? Yep. Were you drinking?
Yep. I guess that's better. I looked up and his guy had his colorful outfit on and I was like, that's a little weird. And then I looked over again and I was like, that's, that's, that's gone here.
I thought shit. That's the mystery woman he was bringing to his pyramid in New Orleans. Yeah. Young Asian lady.
He didn't recognize me either. Did you see that guy for the chili peppers? Which guy? He's not too.
He's dating. Fair enough. It's hard to hate you when you talk like that. T.O.
T.O. What's the O? He's dating the 19 year old and he's 75 years old. Oh, no.
What's the difference? It's pretty good looking for 61. He does? Yeah.
But 19. It helps to be a major. Go to low. The greatest skateboarding in the world.
Greatest vote skaters in the world. Female and male. The best in the world in 2024. 2024, right?
Yep. Salt Lake City, June 14th, 15th on my ramp. The greatest ramp ever made in the world. You put all those things together and what do you got?
You got a hell of a contest and if you miss it, you suck. It's free too. And legends demo Friday night. We just walked in here with Rune Glyphuric practicing because Rune Glyphur is going to be there.
See, Caballero, Mike McGill. Ooh. The list goes on and on. Tony Hawk's going to be there.
Oh, also known as Tony Hawk. It's free. It's the greatest skateboarding in the world today. Free.
You're welcome that we're telling you. Yes, you're welcome. June 14th, 15th and Hudson Center Arena. Salt Lake City.
Verde Alert. It's going to go off. Going to go right off. Yeah.
Also, hey, Verde Alert people. You guys going to see the greatest skateboarding in the world? Do you want to see? Well, not the greatest comedy in the world, but pretty good up and comedy.
The night before the 13th, I'm going to be at Wise Guys, telling jokes. The greatest skateboarding in the world. Some of them will be there and the seventh greatest Mega Man skateboarder to ever live. Me will be headlining there telling jokes and I have never been funnier.
Get a ticket and come and see me. Tell jokes. You will laugh. I'll tell stories about skateboarding.
I'll tell stories about how he is not that great. No one else will say that. No one else will say that. June 13th, everybody.
Wise Guys. Get tickets at thejasonallis.com. Hey, everybody. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.
Online Therapy. Are you interested? Because Bob could be your uncle. There's so many things that you could choose to spend your money on.
Can you get yourself? Are you going to make you happy? Can you make me feel good, Michael? But for how long?
Sometimes it gets me upset. Tell me. But when I go to my therapist, I never leave needing to take a big poopy. I think that was the original slogan of BetterHelp.
You can go, you can buy yourself fancy vacations, you could drive around in a convertible sports car, but you know what? You're never going to drive fast enough to get away from your feelings. Ooh. You know, Eddie Van Halen once said you can buy a boat big enough to sail.
Wait, I forgot what it said. Alongside happiness. Yes, he did. That's what he said.
Remorably. Remember that, you guys. I think I have a teacher. I think therapy is helpful for learning positive coping skills, how to set boundaries, all the stuff.
When they were busy teaching you trigonometry, this is the stuff they should have taught you. I don't know how to do trigonometry. I don't know how to do trigonometry. I don't know how to do a lot of things.
I don't need trigonometry help. I need mental health help. And that is why therapy has been such a game changer for me. Michael.
And for Jason as well. Did you know one time I was doing business with this guy that I don't want to name, but he pissed me off. Was this like a corporate transaction working at Back Alley? It was a business.
No, it was like a proper business. And he said some stuff that really hurt my feelings. And I was going to punch him in the face. And then I went to my therapist and I talked it out.
And I decided to send him an email apologizing for the parts that I did that was annoying. And then I hope we can just be friends. Another satisfied customer. Get it off your chest with BetterHelp.
He would have died, Michael. Visit betterhelp.com slash Ellis today to get 10% off your first month. That is what does that say there, Jason? It's like betterhelpheelp.com slash Ellis.
Somebody's at the door. I hope it's Catwoman. Hello. Imagine like just knocking on a door or dropping some random mail and you're walking to this meeting.
Yeah, we should fight him. What does he want? Are we superheroes? I mean, you were.
I'm like, you don't look too super right now. Are we, you know, are we like the Avengers of our own time? Hey, how you doing? Hey, Willie.
Come on in, Willie. Thanks. Not really our friend. I don't know what he's doing here.
But back at spot of the crew. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Hello, Batman.
Bruce Wayne on the side of the room. I'm side of the man. What are you? Why are you in my house?
Just try to get rid of all your bugs for you. You're bugs in here? Outside though. Oh, you got Spiderman.
You're blind. How do you kill your bugs? So we do a full yard treatment for everything. What?
Yeah. So we're going to be taking care of all the mosquitoes outside for you guys. A lot of spiders ants, especially rodents. Wait, you're going to kill a spider?
Not Spiderman, but just the spad spiders outside. Can you buy a web? Spiderman. Is there such a thing as a bad spider?
No. No. We'll keep the spiders for you. I'm a big fan of husbands and daddy long letters.
What about Ant Man? You've got Ant Man? Fuck Ant Man. If you ever killed a ninja.
I don't think so. I have. Really. Several.
What's your superhero? What's your power? Me? Yeah.
Fuck Ant Man. Fuck Ant Man. Fuck Ant Man. You just joined the crew.
You're the one who fucked up. You started to bug me. Yeah. I saw Hulk at launch.
Oh really? He didn't recognize me. Man, you've been a name-dropper. You've already mentioned that twice.
Oh yeah. Who else did he mention that he's friends with? Jack Nicholson's baby. Nicklaus Cage's baby.
Nicklaus Cage's baby. I played with Nicklaus Cage's baby. I'm from Harlem. It's a good friends with Oppenheimer.
No, that's the movie I saw. Yeah, you said you saw him. Oh, I did. I flew home with him.
Have you ever accidentally killed a child? Luckily not. Luckily not. I unfortunately have.
I was even environmental. We're the best around. You're going to blow up. I mean, I mean, Bane's going to blow you guys up.
Thanks for stopping off. Nice meeting you guys. Oh, thanks for coming on. I'll keep you safe.
Everybody else. I'll believe you. Good luck. Hey, get that guy.
There's a little cocky for my turn. I don't know what it is with the youth and they're weird. Mustaches, but I just bad-out enough. Bane has a mustache too.
I'll never tell. Do you have suspension in your mouth? I think it's hydraulics. What is that thing?
Don't you get that from? My lips are lifted. What? I don't know what the function of all this is, but you'll have to admit it looks terrific.
That's weird. What's all your nose? I'm sweating out of my nostrils. I thought you were soba.
Yeah. Everyone was soba people don't. Okay, you got me. You saw the phone gooples.
I'm off the wagon. Tyson, Jake Paul. Who do you got inside a man? I never really thought about it.
Yeah. Well, I mean, I thought about it, but I don't really care. Yeah. I think it's all set up.
Yeah. It's fake. It's fair. Did you fly next to Mike Tyson when he had an airborne medical emergency?
No. Did you? No. Right.
We've been good if you had a light about that. We needed a doctor. Did he really? He had a flared up ulcer.
Is that when he beat that person up on the airplane? Wait, is that what it was? That's fine. He'll be okay.
The fight is still on. Okay. I was literally in fear that it could have been a hard condition. Isn't that like a big weight difference?
Yes. No. No. Jake Paul's way heavier than him.
Yeah. You know, Jake Paul kind of looks like you right now. Jacked. That's what I've been.
Similar apex. Yeah. So, babe, you think it's fake? Telling that one of the opponents has an inflamed ulcer.
It's almost like he's fighting a 57-year-old man and there's a reason why 57-year-old men don't have professional boxing matches. Is, is, is an ulcer for old people? Primarily, yes. What is an ulcer?
Stress induced something. You're gonna bend over? I'll show you one. Is it in your stomach?
So, lining up your stomach. You can be stressed from not smoking. You can be very stressed from not smoking marijuana or eating mushrooms. That could be very stressful, so if you think about that as a stress, then that's not gonna stop him from killing Jake Paul.
Here's what I think. Did you hear Jake Paul said something bad about Mike Tyson's child that passed away? That is below the belt. Do you think that Mike Tyson would be okay with you saying something like that?
I think even more so if the fight were fixed that would be clearly out of bounds, implying that perhaps it is a real fight. Right. He did say something of that nature. Leave the women and children out of it and our mothers.
I think Jake Paul wins. I think there's a chance Jake Paul wins and as he parades around celebrating in the ring, we are all reminded that there's a reason we don't let 57-year-old men have professional boxing matches and he finds his victories rather hollow. If Jake Paul wins, I'm moving to Canada. You say that every time there's a new president.
I've never said that. You're lying. I've lived out there many times. I'm there right now.
Well, we know that's why Jason is. I'm also gonna be innocent in silver fight. I've never said that. I'm also never watching the sport again.
Speaking of terrific fights, who wins a snake or a squirrel? It's always a way better question. I saw a rattlesnake the other day and I saved its life. Really?
I was gonna get run over by a car and I ushered it back into the bushes. How did you usher? We threw a web? Legitimate.
You waved him over. I stopped the car and I went. You sure? I'm here, it's wider.
I mean, snake. What the hell? A rattlesnake. A juvenile squirrel.
That was a sweet joke. This is a different video than the one I was talking about, but this is also great. Why is he messing with the snake like that? Because they can't.
Because he can. Why do you fly between the skyscrapers up Manhattan when you could easily take a taxi? Nice. Because I can't.
Because you can't. What enjoyed each other's nuts? Wait. Is there a squir- oh no.
I think it might be the squirrel's child. Our mother will do anything to protect our young. That guy's in a lot of trouble. Oh, she's using her tail.
Wait. Side her man. Side her. Yeah, get her.
Man. It's like 30 more minutes. Maybe 45. What?
Just where am I? I'm Jake Holds. She wants to know if she can have her stuff back. I've been here.
I've been here. I've been here. I've been here. It's true.
Do you bet I've let break up with JLo? Do you ever think that maybe she's the problem? Constantly. Like she must be a massive bitch.
She's possible they're both the problem. No. Oh, yeah. Good plus.
Jennifer Garner. Did you see Ben Affleck try to be me? Yeah, he sucked. Stupid.
Worse than Michael Keaton. Nobody ever tried to be me. Michael Keaton did a great job. Agreed.
All the people that tried to be your 12th. If you were Michael Keaton, I wouldn't kick your ass. Right. Oh, man.
You really get into those ciders. Side her man. It's the name. Did you hear?
Kim Jong Un has been parachuting bags of shit into South Korea. Yeah, it sucks. Wait. Yep, you heard me.
I thought of that game recognized game. Come to LA. They shit on the ground here. But they don't use parachute.
They don't need to. There's shit on the ground. Do you see? I picked up some such pretty large poops.
Place is starting to look like your place. Gotham City. He's in North Korea, yeah? He's in North Korea.
Yeah. It's better there. Is that supposed to provoke them? I think he's just doing it for the law.
Oh, that's pretty funny. What's the law? To laugh out loud. Ha ha.
Side her. You didn't put your phone on vibrate. No. My tilde is.
Nice. Do you see it? Man, you are looking just felt, a Spider-Man. Thank you.
Was that not a compliment? No, it was. Rumor has it. You've been at EDC.
Wait, what's it called? EDC. Yeah, I knew it the first time. Yeah, you're right.
Yeah. You should come. No. Why would I do that?
I don't know. Isn't it in the daytime? At nighttime. Only?
No, not. It's not in the nighttime. It ends in the daytime. So there is daylight.
It will the sun rises, yes. Can I leave before the sun comes up? Oh, sure. Well, then, OK.
Why do you want me to go there? Seriously. Lots of pretty women. OK.
But I'm old. You're fine. Yeah. Yeah.
Really? True carry comes every year. Ew. He's so gross.
He gets crazy laid. Yeah. That's a real superpower. He fucks.
He's got a pretty good toupee. Is he also a ball? Yeah, but he got the proper, like, you know, when they put him in good. I feel like if you're really old and not that hot, and then you get fake hair stapled into your head, it looks OK.
Like Tom Arnold. He's not hot. And his hair looks great. But I think if you're hot, and then you get fake hair, it doesn't match your head.
Wait. I know a guy's kind of hot and he has fake hair. Forget it. I've always believed bald.
It's beautiful. Yeah. Isn't that a TV show? Yes.