Battle Lines: A Message to Those Who Self-Harm

This is a message to all the brave, exhausted soldiers out there doing battle right now, those waging a silent, internal civil war.I’m calling out to you who stand on those perilous front lines, pressed up hard against the fight, in the brutal and bloody trenches of conflict. I’m reaching out because of the urgency of the moment, because of all that is being lost, because I look around and the violence seems to be winning.I think you understand that, because the war has gotten the best of you before, too.You show the scars.You bear the bruises.You wear the wounds.I know that the battle has streaked you scarlet.I know it’s drained the hope from your heart and the joy from your spirit.I know that your head is spinning right now, trying to find footing in a ground that shifts and slides beneath your feet.I know that right now, nothing seems stable.And when everything feels like chaos, controlling anything feels like comfort.And so you choose this hand-to-hand combat.Piece by piece, you chase peace.You are hurt, and so you hurt yourself.You fight with your flesh, within your flesh.You war with yourself, and that is simply not a fair fight.This battle has gone on far too long, my sweet friend.I’m hoping to help broker a cease-fire today.I’m trying to stop the bleeding for good.I’m asking you to cross lines in the war.Don’t side with the bullies anymore.Don’t partner with your enemies another second.Don’t give consent to the terrorists one more day.Don’t do your demon’s dirty work any longer.To hell with all of them.Refuse to agree with the liars who tell you that you are ugly and unloved and worthless and hopeless; that you’re too old or too far gone or beyond saving.Refuse to believe the voices that condemn and criticize you, even if they sound like your own.Resist recruitment in your own demise.This isn’t going to be easy.I know that you are overwhelmed.I know you can’t see the way out right now.I know you don’t know where to start.Start here.These words. This breath.This second.Start by exhaling and standing down.Step out from the trenches and into the open air.Drop your weapons.Hold your fire.Lay down your guns.Surrender your solitude.Call in reinforcements.Let someone else fight alongside you.Let someone else fight for you.You are so worth fighting for.You are so very loved.So, hold on, my brave, exhausted fighter.This war is not over.Your defeat is not a foregone conclusion.Your story is not complete yet.You deserve to stay long enough to see it.Peace is within reach.Love is within your grasp.Hope is in your hands.If you are struggling with thoughts of self-harm, suicide ideation, or persistent depression, find help here and here and here and here now. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit johnpavlovitz.substack.com/subscribe