BDSM and Consent: The Good, Bad, and Surprises

When it comes to consent violations in BDSM, D/S, and kink, it can almost feel reflexive for those with experience to point their fingers at those who are new or less experienced. Not only that, but this ‘blame game’ often papers over the lifestyle’s much deeper and dangerous problem; hint, it is not just BDSM gone wrong like spanking too hard. However, Negative Nellie did not take over the podcast because the lifestyle does some amazing things right with consent, too. Discover what you must know about one of BDSM’s biggest challenges as well as what it is getting right, all backed by theresearch. Oh, and that research, it is all listed here if you want to take a deep dive. Content warning: Heavy topic, SA, discussed.Sources:Bowling, J., Wright, S., Stambaugh, R.J., Gioia, D., &Cramer, R. (2020). Consent Survey 2020 Report. National Coalition for SexualFreedom. https://ncsfreedom.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/Consent-Survey-2020-report.pdfFanghanel, A. (2020). Consent violations and community normsin BDSM spaces. Sexualities. https://doi.org/10.1177/1363460719828933Dunkley, C. R., & Brotto, L. A. (2020). The role of consent in the context of BDSM. Sexual Abuse: A Journal of Research andTreatment, 32(6), 657–678. https://doi.org/10.1177/1079063219842847Harris, E. A., Morgenroth, T., Crone, D. L., Morgenroth, L.,Gee, I., & Pan, H. (2023). Sexual consent norms in a sexually diverse sample. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 53, 577–592. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-023-02741-0Tarleton, H. L., Mackenzie, T., & Sagarin, B. J. (2024).Consent norms in the BDSM community: Strong but not inflexible. Archives of Sexual Behavior. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-024-03038-6Klement, K. R., Sagarin, B. J., & Lee, E. M. (2017).Participating in a culture of consent may be associated with lower rape-supportive beliefs. Journal of Sex Research, 54(1), 130–134. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2016.1168353Wismeijer, A. A. J., & van Assen, M. A. L. M. (2013).Psychological characteristics of BDSM practitioners. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 10(8), 1943–1952. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23679066/