Be Intentional with Your Friendships

Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgement.Proverbs 18:1In Proverbs we are looking at what it means to follow the way of wisdom in five areas: friends, family, words, work, and wealth. Today, we begin by looking at friendship.“Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire” (18:1). That is, he is concerned about himself. And if you are only concerned about yourself, you break out against all sound judgement.Why? Because you are made in the image of God, who is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. God enjoys relationship within the tri-unity of His own nature. In his excellent book Made for Friendship, Drew Hunter says “To be made in God’s image… means that we… are wired for relationships.”He points out that the first human problem was not sin but solitude. When God looked at what He had made, He said it was “good.” But when God created Adam, He said, for the first time, something was “not good.” “It is not good that the man should be alone” (Gen. 2:18).God did not intend you to live in isolation, so seek friends intentionally. How do you do that? By taking an active interest in others. “I hope in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy to you soon… I have no one like him, who will be genuinely concerned for your welfare” (Phil. 2:19-20).How many friends should you have? It is possible to have a wide circle of acquaintances, but no real friends. So, focus on depth rather than breadth.You see this modelled in the life of Jesus. He ministers to the crowd (hundreds), and there is also a smaller group of 70 that He sends out (Lk. 10:1). Then there are the twelve, but Jesus gives more access to Peter, James, and John. There is an important principle here—open your life most fully to the friends you can trust most deeply.What steps could you take to focus on depth rather than breadth in your friendships?