BEACH: PART ONE

Remember that feeling sitting in the back of your family's station wagon as you traveled across country on a road trip? The smell of dried, room-temperature ketchup lingered upon your top lip as your brother's open mouth puffed out trash-bag, fart breath. You held on tightly to the possibility that, unlike all previous family trips, this trip would not be a disastrous shit storm of forced family bonding. No, this trip would be the best yet. . .And then seconds later, the air conditioner gives out, and your brother throws your pound puppy out the window. In Episode One and Two of "BEACH," travel back to a time when TV/VCR combos were the technology of the future, and dinner at The Red Lobster was like dining at a 3-star Michelin restaurant. Join me on an Averagely Allgood family trip to Panama City Beach in the early 1990s. CREDITS: All essays written by Caitlin Allgood. Music composed by David Allgood, and performed and arranged by The Parkers. Stream their music online coming soon. If you find my voice irritating--I don't blame you--but enjoy the stories, find them in print, as well as embarrassing photographs at www.averagelyallgood.com