BEAUTIFUL

A mind filled by the heart sees a world full of beauty and compassion. Contents . ignorance . intensity . indignity . iniquity Ignorance to fail to notice to avoid understanding to lack and to want BEAUTIFUL MESS Spirit coaches coax the self contained to let yourself go and pour your heart through this chaotic life and pay them for it see a world from their eyes you have yet to be seen so you can hang your woes on their words it’s not worth the temptation to say you’re scared and miss out on whatever it all is they say everything can be remember I will be there when you think you may fall stand up for you when you want to crawl beneath the covers do not you dare hide from a mess as it likely ends up being the best thing like exactly what happened to me you see because you are imagined to be another me you become less of you and more as I see your mind maybe light off getting the permission you didn’t need to tell that f****r you’re not so happy with him ah, doll, what a beautiful mess let it go let it be whatever those dungs sung before we went ahead and let clothes pile upon the floor let the dishes stink up the sink so long as the lock was fixed on the door Ignore the world of responsibility to unlock your mind with some time bending fungus can reform you to give less order to the beautiful mess Nevermind your face red and swollen my shoulder here for your eyes to run dry my veins are roots of a plant you can weep to feed, alright see now, it’s just better to cry your spiritual doula reminds you what you want will find you much more appealing when you forgoe your senses toss them with the wind and smell the traffic the hot paved street toward the life coach giving you a place what a beautiful mess this temptress of control has found your lost soul to sell you on a pyramid scheme for a pink car you never wanted to drive anyway. Indignity to enact baseness to conduct unworthiness to impatiently dominate BEAUTIFUL, IS A WORD He called me beautifulwith a serpentine hissa lock hold in his eyesheld me beneath my human rights wanting to be brazen and hold back of mind what I knew of a moment too soon to unfoldbut I sighed and said thank-you through my lipsand pulled my body away with my hipsand pleaded, I screamed so loud insideand hoped he could hearbut later at night half asleepI heard words through my pillowshocked frozen I could not speaka little louder my pulse beatthrough my body (the echo beautiful)vanity as broken mirror nowfractured my demeanoursuch a relationship could never equatethe transcendence from soul to mateas he used my soul as meat—an aesthetic match everyone remarkedwas simply striking out to mesince beauty requires no speechjust the appreciation upended by truststriking commentary between breaths of seasonal wind unwavering, songs with a rhythmno mouth attached to a bodywho can perform such a deedcan form the realness of a wordhe was better off never saying. BEAUTIFUL, IS RELATING Slowing down doesn't lessen timemy friend, we needsomething greater than perceiving reality or inspiration whirlwinds to battle desperationformed by physical posturing attempting to empty my head with limited computer time amplified by stepping outside every line of poetry rushing in shrinks me back to paced dances warped and bent timeI ran from facingas a seeker of expansionand a spectrum far awayand full of funny friendsbut his dark sense of humour should have worried me further than my brothers statesidesince how much real beautycan be transpiring throughthis kind of transactional relating. © Mari Amman. All Rights Reserved. Poetry, Prose &Suche VOL I. First edition 2023, electronic distribution. Text and Images by Mari Amman. The poems contained within this volume were drafted circa 2006-2009, in Chicago, USA, and edited during spring 2023 in Paris, France, with the enormous support of The Trélex Residency. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lelapin.substack.com/subscribe