Becoming the Dad You Never Had

What happens when you grow up without a steady dad in the house, and you decide you are going to change the story for your kids: In this episode of The Dudela Podcast, John and Michael sit down with Howie Hutchinson, a husband and dad of two in Denver, to talk about fatherhood after divorce, step parents, and rebuilding a relationship with your dad as an adult. Howie shares what it was like growing up mostly in a single parent home after his parents split, what he had to figure out on his own as a boy, and the pressure he carried for years to become the best dad possible. This conversation is honest, hopeful, and full of practical wisdom. You will hear a powerful turning point moment when Howie told his dad that if their relationship stayed the same, he did not want to invest in a relationship between his dad and his future kids. What happened next surprised him, and it changed the direction of their relationship for the last fourteen years. We talk about why presence matters most in the early years, why supporting your wife and building a healthy family unit is a gift to your kids, and how to avoid building your whole parenting identity in reaction to what you did not have. Howie also shares what his therapist wife taught him about grace, perspective, and the idea that maybe you got your dad’s best. It is a challenging thought, and it is freeing. You will also hear practical ideas you can use right away, including a journal that goes back and forth between parent and child, plus a long term question every dad should ask. What do you want friendship with your kids to look like when they are adults, and what can you do today to build toward that Here is what we cover • Growing up with a dad on the fringes and what you learn from peers instead • Divorce at nine and how it shapes a kid’s story about their father • Stepdad dynamics and what he wishes he had asked for sooner • The pressure to be the best dad and how to cool it on the pressure • A hard conversation with his dad one month before his first child was born • Rebuilding a relationship with your dad and being grateful for what you have now • Presence as a dad and why just being there matters more than you think • Supporting your wife and building a healthy family unit kids can trust • Parenting a son versus parenting a daughter and why dads shape confidence • Sliding door moments and choosing to step into connection • A back and forth journal habit that builds real relationship • How to have a million small conversations instead of one big talk If you have ever searched how to be a present dad dad advice for kids of divorce healing father wounds rebuilding relationship with my dad generational trauma and parenting how to be a better husband and father father daughter relationship and confidence how to raise a son without a dad stepdad relationship advice parent child journal prompts how to talk to kids about sex early have small conversations not one big talk fatherhood podcast for dads This episode is for you.   fatherhood, present dad, generational healing, kids of divorce, rebuilding relationship with dad, marriage and parenting, father daughter relationship, raising sons, stepdad, family unit, dad pressure, parenting habits, parent child journal, small conversations, new dad podcast