Behaviour Change Expert: The Real Reason You Can’t Change Your Habits | Shahroo Izadi

There's an entire industry built on the idea that if you hate yourself enough, you'll eventually change. And yet everything we know about shame tells us the opposite is true. So why do we keep going back there? And more importantly, what does it actually take to break free?This week on Live Well Be Well, I'm sitting down with Shahroo Izadi, Behavioural Change Specialist, NHS clinical trainer, and bestselling author of The Kindness Method and The Last Diet. Shahroo spent years working in addiction recovery, and what she found there transformed not only her professional understanding of change, but her own relationship with food, her body, and herself. We go deep into why so many of us associate change with self-loathing, why willpower alone will always fail us, and how the tools used in addiction recovery hold the blueprint for any meaningful behaviour change. Shahroo also shares her own story with complete honesty, including binge eating, a gastric band, eight stone lost, and what finally made the difference. This is one of those conversations that reframes everything.Here's what we dive into:- How shame becomes the enemy of lasting habit change.- Why the only habit worth learning is how to change habits.- What addiction recovery gets right that mainstream wellness misses.- How to interrupt the shame spiral after a setback.- Why body neutrality is a more honest goal than body positivity.Love,Sarah Ann 💛***This episode is sponsored by:DIOME: Rest deeper. Stay grounded.Rested is available now and Grounded lands later this month.👉 Get 20% off with code SARAH20 at DIOME.CONOWATCH: The compassionate health trackerConnecting body and mind with unique stress recovery insights so you can live fully today👉 15% off with code LWBW15 at https://nowatch.com/ ***The Great British Veg OutHow to support your gut, energy, and hormones by eating more — not less.👉 https://sarahmacklin.substack.com/p/the-great-british-veg-outReset Your HealthIf your body feels off after stress, travel, or burnout — this is where to start.👉 https://sarahmacklin.substack.com/s/reset-your-health-in-30-days👉 Practical beats perfect.Here’s a free 5-recipe PDF I use to support energy and stress during busy weeks.https://open.substack.com/pub/sarahmacklin/p/download-your-free-5-recipes-to-relieve👉 If this resonates, you can join the thousands who readThe Compassionate Cure each week. https://sarahmacklin.substack.com/***Let’s be friends!📷 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahannmacklin/📹 Subscribe:http://www.youtube.com/@livewellbewellsarah🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/SarahAnnMacklin📱 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@livewellbewellpodcast💌 Newsletter: https://sarahmacklin.substack.com/***If You Enjoyed This Episode, You Might Also Like:Dr. Shefali's Approach to Shadow Self: From External Validation to Inner Alignmenthttps://youtu.be/46-BbuvGHuY***Sign up to Sarah’s Compassionate Cure newsletter:Science Simplified, Health Humanised.Join thousands in exploring actionable insights that prioritise compassion, clarity, and real-life impact.https://sarahmacklin.substack.com/***Highlights:00:00:00 Intro00:07:00 Shahroo's Story: Stammers, Weight, and Self-Help at Age 1000:10:34 Working in Addiction and Recognising Her Own Cycle00:15:27 "Better Than Well": What Addiction Recovery Gets Right00:23:24 Body Positivity, Body Neutrality, and the Thin Ideal00:31:38 The Gastric Band: What Happens When You Don't Change the Behaviour00:34:18 Social Judgment and the Ozempic Study00:43:33 How to Stop the Swing Between Extremes00:46:21 The Second Choice: Interrupting the Shame Spiral00:53:23 Matt Haig on Using Your Worst Days as a Reference Bank00:58:44 Writing Letters to Your Future Self01:06:22 How Shahroo Sees Herself Differently Five Years On01:18:47 Hatefulness Doesn't Create Change01:20:07 Self-Compassion vs. Self-Love: What We're Actually Asking For01:26:17 What "Live Well, Be Well" Means to Shahroo