Do you ever use headphones on a podcast? I do. This is a, sometimes I don't. I guess you're like newer, right?
Like you're a new cool podcast guy. What? Don't you, don't deny it. I've been podcasting since before you immigrated here, pal.
Are you kidding me? That's impossible. I'm way older than you. Let's go.
All right, let's try a little gold. You tried it like I get. You've been on the market a little more because you do stand up longer. But when it's sitting down talking, I've been doing this way before you did.
Yeah, and you went here. You've got cans on. Do you call them cans? You want to hear something?
You call these cans? No, I was born to be in 452. I'm glad you understand. I understand.
I got your gift, but I guess what? I ate it. You gave me a gift? Because you took so long, I was like, man, I'm hungry.
Bro, I haven't eaten it. I got it. I was going to get you a snack. But I was like, I know you've been doing this a while because years ago, I called you a radio show.
Shut up. And you cussed me out. Years ago. Are you serious?
Yeah, we were on the way to a Phillies game. No, no, I deserved it. I deserved it. I called to do like, it was, I honestly forget the context.
I just remember I used to do voices and characters. And I called and I did one and you're like, do you think you all might? I'm like, I'm sorry, I actually really like you. I was in a car trying to make my friends laugh.
The story of everybody. I'm not an asshole now, but I really was. I've got to do an intro. I try not to cuss because we're on YouTube.
You should know that. I had to do a podcast guy that's been around since 84. Well, you know, I usually don't care about censorship because I'm actually a real one. Why do we care?
It's over the cosplays. Why do I care? Oh my God. Welcome to my God.
Sorry. Sorry. My God. The good news is, Brad Williams is done.
Look at this old twink giving me shit. He's a little bit him. I know. He's a young little boy.
Oh, sorry. Twink. I know. I might be the least twinkie guy in the room.
You look skinny. You look skinny. Miles is the boss of the twinkiest person in the room. Oh, he's not in the room.
Yeah. Yeah. Miles, you're your great eight-week beef. Miles, get in here.
Miles, bend over and fix this table. This is all a ploy. Don't make sexual advances that my executive producers are. He's a friend of the family.
I'm good friends with his mom. Really? Yeah. Wow.
I mean, that's a hot storyline. Okay, now I'm going to make a worse. She's married to Tony Hawk. Oh, stop.
Never mind. Stop. Wow. All right.
No. This is Tony Hawk's son. Stepson. Oh, the plot thickens.
I don't want to be here. I don't want to be here. He has a great. I'm also good friends with his real father.
He's a good dude. I love both of them. And everybody's cool. It's all good.
Can I just say real quick, shout out to Good Stepparents. It takes a lot to do that. And I don't think a lot of them get enough credit. I agree.
I know. Yeah. Well, I had a step mom like her because she was the only common sense that I ever saw in my childhood. And I hated it when I was growing up because I wanted to be like my father.
And then when I got older, I realized that my father was a maniac. A lot of the things I adopted from him were bad. A bad way to live. She had a lot of like, you know, slow down or, you know, you think it's a good idea to drive after drinking that much.
Like, and I'd be like, what kind of a moron would say that? Like, no, I haven't had enough to drink the job. My dad was like, you know, you're drinking your go. You do burnouts.
Then when you're finished doing the burnout, you roll out of the car and start vomiting on the curb. And then Tuesday. That's great. I used to do a thing when I was drinking and driving and taking a six pack of bottles and I'd throw them out the sun roof.
So if I drove off the road, there'd be like a bread trail crump to find me. Not worried about the bottles landing on anybody else's car and making them crash. Oh, there's like five AM. No one else is on the road.
Oh, right. Yeah. Oh, then you're getting the clear. But daytime, the sun roof was open so the bottle of vodka could get out and I could build it back.
Wow. So you were really good at drinking. Oh, so good. I got a high score and I quit.
Makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. So you were late to this one because you were doing some other podcast.
Yeah. More important than this one. No. No.
No. That's not. It was. I don't like the stink you're putting on it.
Yeah. Can I tell you? Can I tell you the truth? Yeah.
My day started up because I was late to the first podcast because I'm staying to friends and they have. You're always late. I do it wrong being late. I don't even know if I can already tell you're already late.
You missed the hotel room booking. I didn't say you don't have a hotel because you showed up two days late for your hotel. A day late and I said that to you in confidence, but I accepted this is my penance. Why is that a secret?
I'm losing Marriott points. And so I was doing so. So I have a key fob to my friends garage and there's a top garage, bottom garage. I was parked in the bottom.
They gave me a key fob for the top. I thought the key fob worked for post so I get out and the gate's not opening and I think it's on the security footage, but I'm literally hitting it and moving around and like jumping thinking I'm not tall enough and they had left already. And so I had to call it. Please come back.
I mean the garage. So that made me late and I had coffee before I had food, which always leads to diarrhea, cha, cha, cha, cha. So I had to pull over and have I had a terrible time. You saw me last night.
He ate a steak. Not the best. Mel's diner shout out. We got a real cheese sandwich.
And we shared a midnight. And we did share a bit of it. We're two straws. But that's true.
But we're gay. That's okay. We got a photo of that. I think so.
Somebody took a photo of it. Is it on my phone? No. My friend, a little guy that's good friends with Rodney Mullen.
How weird is that? Yes. Comedian and we're talking about. And he hit me up and he goes, does that guy Jason hate me?
He wouldn't look at me. What? Yeah. I looked at him a bunch of times.
No, he didn't pick up on it. How did he want me to look at him? Lovingly. I'm lovingly.
Really? I'm not sure. Is he gay, too? No.
Well, then calm down. Yeah. Well, I looked at him. Did you think did it seem like I didn't like that guy?
Really? Can I tell you? Can I tell you? You play chess and I play checkers because I just got inside your head because you were in mine earlier.
So you're welcome. Oh, no. He didn't care at all. No, he did.
I can show you the text. I love it. I didn't have a problem with him. Can I ask a really dumb question?
I understand how garages can work right and left. How can you have an upper and a lower garage? Yeah. Yeah.
Good point. Liar. Lower garage. Yeah, yeah.
So what do you talk about? Two separate garages. Two separate entrances into the apartment building. Do you not have money?
Hey, man, we're on this show. No. How do you know I'm not sleeping around the corner? So same garage, two entrances.
I say, okay. I thought he had two garages. No. There's a basement garage with only one entrance, one exit.
There's a side garage, one entrance, one exit. I had a key to the side garage. I was parked in the lower garage. It doesn't seem like it needs to be a two fob situation.
I'm with you on this one. I know. I know. Thank you.
But you eventually got out because they came and freed you or did you free? They had to come back. That's kind of their fault. That's what I'm saying.
Yeah. That's what I'm saying. It's not your fault. I needed that.
Thank you. This is like Robin Williams and Matt Damon and Good one. Stop crying. That was your fault when you wreck the table.
My fault. I accept that. I was trying to support you with the guitar. I do rock and that is it does get people going.
Yeah. I mean the smoke machine. What do you expect? You're right.
I don't blame you again. Yeah. Thank you. Look at this.
But you're getting a rib grilled cheese sandwich last night and crapping yourself all day. That's your fault. 100%. Because I remember when you said that sounds good.
Because that person lives inside me. Me too. If I had been invited to training, I would have. Did he box?
No. I don't have time for amateurs. Not even that. I would punch you.
I'd be scared. Right. But nicely done. I'd like it.
I bet you would. I mean in the face. No, not in the booty. No, not in the money maker.
Just lightly. If I have a helmet. Yeah. That'd be a good idea.
You should take it a punch before. You? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Actually that. You said something annoying and then somebody punched you. Yes.
What about the cake thing that we were in last night? I was in the back of the store in the back little area where everyone smokes weed which was super cool. And we were just sitting here. Just two super guys.
Just a bunch of people offering me weed. You're just sitting there like, you know, at least I am my cigarettes. That helps me. I fucking changed when I'm around this.
Yeah you do. I can hate weed man. I love weed. Really?
Yeah. I'm so lame. Why do you dislike weed? Because I used to love it.
Did you ever like it? I used to, I mean I'm recovering drug and alcoholics. I did everything. I did everything.
And I'm, what's April 2015 to now? Is that eight years or nine years? Coming up on nine. Yeah.
Coming up on nine years sober. I just hate weed. I think it's so dumb. I think, hey if you do it, that's totally fine.
But like, I have friends that are so clearly addicted and they just think nothing of it. And then if they don't, they get anxious and upset and they're like, but that's why I need the weed. I'm not, no that's a cute withdrawal. I mean, just be honest.
And that's totally fine. But don't lie to me. You know, and I hate that you can just go into stores and get it and. We do that with alcohol too.
Yeah. Alcohol sucks too. Yeah. The worst one now is Kratum.
Somebody, I did it my solo show last night and a fan that's been around for a long time, had a small heart attack. Good God. Chris, they made the hot sauce for us. Sure.
But uppercut. Yeah, he had to go to hospital and they checked his system and said that they think that the Kratum was the thing that triggered it and that he was in hospital for four days. Dude. And that is available at way more places than weed and alcohol.
Well, no, about the same as alcohol. Speaking of hospitalizations, a dear friend of mine on StuSover Laving Houses, he says weekly kids are coming to the house with cannabinoid induced psychosis with the same side effects from meth because the amount of THC and everything in this high grade marijuana now is bringing to the surface latent mental illnesses that people have. And people are, I know a couple of people personally that had to be 5150 in the hospital because they legitimately lost their mind from weed. So when you say latent mental illnesses, it means not that necessarily weed forced them to go crazy just that the conditions were in them to go crazy in the marijuana kind of unlock.
Yeah. I mean, I think that's, you know, this is my theory, but I think that's why there's so many crazy people walking the street and you always see them with like a blunt area and they're either smoking K2 or, you know, marijuana because a lot of people, I think one of four adults has some form of mental illness and it bubbles to the surface when you, you know, introduce these chemicals and drugs into your body. And so why there's so many lunatics going around and weed is so easily available. And you know, living in a tent makes sense when you just hide all the time.
Yeah. I was pretty close to, you know, okay with that. Really? It just got complacent with it.
It's like, I would never quit it. That would be insane. Yeah. You know, like the argument to not do it was just like, yeah, are you serious?
Totally. Like what about all the people that I would freak out on? Yeah. Not realizing that when I'm saying that it's super apparent that it's a problem.
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Yeah, but also all that shit feels great. You know, so it's like, why would you, me and my buddy are cheers to each other when you're drinking used to be here's a feeling good all the time. Yeah, right. It's like, why would you want to have feelings?
But it's metal, dude. It's metal to have feelings through the shit. It's fucking metal. It is metal.
Getting through it. Oh, I forgot. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm friends with you, too.
I mean, I'm trying to be friends with you, too. Talk about that because the algorithm is angry at it. Say it nicely, please. Yes, you can talk about it.
I'll stop cussing. I'm sorry. It's okay. It doesn't matter.
What are we? What are we? Cushing's awesome. Are you monetized?
Yeah, yeah. Well, that must be nice. Oh, you're not? Yeah, that's we're constantly fighting to it.
I guess it's because I'm new at podcasting. Damn it. Why do I feel bad at that? Stupid job.
So when did you start potting then? I mean, like, my car? I'm not a podcaster. I've had a million things that have failed, but I've been like a guest on like every podcast or having a pod.
The one I do now with Jordan Jensen, B&E, you were doing a little over a year. You guys are adorable. Thank you. You guys are adorable when you got a gift.
Oh, yeah, yeah. That was adorable. Thank you. She doesn't like that I'm so emotional.
She's a man in the relationship. I'm the woman. Yeah, I see that. Yeah.
She's very tough. Oh, yeah. She did a set in Florida. I hadn't seen her perform yet and I was laughing my butt off.
And then I went up. And then afterwards I went over and I was like, man, you were really funny. crab is terrible and I thought they were good. Sorry.
Now we're both learning to text. Yeah, but you know, it works out. I like her. She's the best.
We have a lot of fun with everybody. You're super bubbly. That's the thing that I, because I'm still new in my sobriety and I really like being alive, like lame everywhere I go. And you're, I'm like, wait, are you wasted?
Yeah. Because you just, you know, like I remember in Florida you were at the club and I got convinced to go and they're like, come on, you love it. And I was like, okay. And then I was like, oh no, I don't.
And you were one of the lives of the party. And I was like, wait, I thought he was sober. Yeah. And you are.
Yeah. But you were jumping around and jumping off people and did you just sing a song? I did. Yeah.
You were like alive, sweaty. Yeah. You look like the drunkest guy in the bar. I know.
I know. How did you get that going? Um, it's funny, man. Growing up, I was like that kid.
I was always like hyper rampunctious, you know, and then unfathomable tragedy started happening in my life and God really kicked me in the dick and I like grew away from that kid. And then, you know, I, in, in high school, I didn't, I was like straight edge and I came up in like punk and hardcore and everything and people always thought that I was, I like, oh, I fucked up messed up. I act more messed up than drunk people do. Started drinking.
That's when like I really lost a part of myself and like all those bubbly fun things that I had growing up went away and then getting sober was so hard and like trying to find that kid again was like, yeah, that's my question. How hard is thing? How long did it take for you to go back to the rock? But I also was a chronic relapsor.
So like I would get time sober and then I, you know, drink again and you know, I like lived in halfway houses and like, oh, wow. And, and I got to say within the past couple of years and coming to terms with my sexuality and whatever that is has all these different puzzle pieces have come together to help me truly feel like on that little kid again that was given so much love and happiness. And I just let everything else take it away. And so like, again, it wouldn't be the case.
I was, I was a miserable drunk. I was an isolator. I was, you know, I was getting fights. I just had a lot of like sadness and anger and I love you and sober.
I try to stay in gratitude and remember that like I should be dead 10 times over. And the fact that I'm not as amazing and the fact that we get to do this, like, dude, it's a Tuesday and we're just hanging out and we have cameras. But we're like, this is the best. Yeah, we're going to breathe fire today.
Yeah, I breathe fire just to practice. It is a good day to be alive in America. You're lucky. I breathe fire earlier to make sure that we can teach you to breathe fire directly.
And I breathe fire too close to the flame. I didn't get hurt, but when I watched the video, I made a mistake. So now I said that last night. You got to have it over here.
I had it here. That could have been bad. Well, I'm afraid of burning my mustache off. And then you were like, no, I'll be fine.
And I'm worried about going, oh, yeah, if you do that, you're definitely being trouble. Yeah, but don't do that. No, you cannot do that, right? I'm going to do that.
Like if I say, hey, don't breathe enough. Do you speak fast? Just switch them out off. I'll go.
Yeah. And if you have it over there, there's no way it'll go back in. You'll be fine. Yeah.
Has that ever happened? Are there videos of people? There's no way that truly out on YouTube. Breathing fire.
But can I just say also, please, the work never stops, which is like a blessing. You can look at it as like, God, this is, you know, I'm Sisyphus pushing a rock up hill. Sisyphus was the, not a Greek God, but Greek mythology. It wasn't real.
No, it's like a parable. Okay. A parable is like a lesson through a story. Okay, yeah.
So he was, I forget what he did to get him. He's naked alone. And maybe in your mind. He's not even sitting on rocks and do that.
No, that was the thinker. Oh, you're thinking of the thing. I'm thinking of Sisyphus alone. What?
Remember when he did it? Huh? Remember when he was naked on a rock and he did that? No, you're thinking of the movie Rocky.
No, I'm not. I think Stallone did at the height of his like Roy Shred pose as the famous French. I would do that once I got here. He's a Greek God in a way.
You what? If I want to get so like ripped and skinny that you see my little riblet. Well, don't have ribbed. I know.
And then I want, when I put my arm like this, you see that muscle there. He did do it. He did. Look at that leg muscle.
I mean, how did you not know that you have a poster of it hanging in your living room here? Can you go down to the left track? Anyway, I forget. Oh, yeah.
You want ribs? You can either look at your sobriety and the work is constantly pushing a rock up a hill and calling it and that's your eternity. Or you can look at it as a gift and it's something to look forward to the work. But like, dude, it takes so much work to get to any, it never stops.
But it's like a blessing because it's like, oh, I'm bored. Why don't I do pivot and do this kind of stuff to better myself. And I fall out, dude. I mean, you're seeing me on like an upswing.
You know, I'm an active press. If I get down, but I isolate and I don't ever go out or like bother people with my stuff. You know what I mean when you got to do stand up and stuff. I mean, I'm switching on.
Sometimes I can, but other times I just am honest. I'm like, I do not want to be here. I'm miserable. And then it's like, I start to feel better in the set.
And I'm like, oh, that's a thing. Even not when you're not doing stand up to get that out of you. When you're not feeling well, like the, you know, a a a and everything teacher to pick up the phone, make a phone call, get it out. I feel so much better when I like, get it out.
Yeah. I just, I feel like in, when you're walking this earth, you can either give or take and I rather give happiness and take it away. Yeah. And we can be around a lot of people that take it away.
Yeah. You know, it's like I'd rather keep that stuff to myself. Right. I got to work on that.
Yeah. But you can do it. I'm trying. Yeah.
You know, it's all I do is get up and try every day. Like what? What do you do to try? I don't pray.
I have meditated, but I'm going to start meditating. You're journal. Yeah. Not every day.
I journal now. And I never, I don't like writing or reading or anything. So that's been tough. I'll just read it for a while.
Yeah. So this is because I'm not a too list and like affirmations. No. Do you wad something really helpful?
I'd wake up when I do a brain drain of like ten minutes of just writing everything in my head and then I'd write a list of fears and then on the other side I would write why those fears aren't real and then I'd write a list of gratitude and then I'd write a list of affirmations and it was like the gayest stuff ever. It was like you deserve happiness. You deserve love. You are a good person.
And it's like so dumb, but after a while, like really, really helps. You think being in half gay makes it easy to write out gay stuff? I mean, I'm full gay emotionally. I'm like very, in touch with my like emotions and things.
It's a bit easy for you to understand women and women understand you. Yeah. I was like raised by women too. Do you think that's why you gay?
No, I think I just desire a salacious, very wonderful penis. Oh, wow. No, that was gay. Yeah.
You really are fond of like the look of a penis. I don't like man ass. Right. Like that every time I've got one in my mouth, I'm like, what am I even doing?
You think that when it's in your mouth? Oh, yeah. That's terrible. I'm sure plenty of women think the same thing.
Right. You can tell when they're thinking that. Yeah, it's pretty obvious. Yeah, I don't like that.
I don't like being a part of that. I don't mind. I get it. Girls, but booties, they're so much cute.
They're the best. But every now and then I've seen a man's butt where I'm like, there you go. Yeah. Once in a blue moon, but I'll never be walking to the street and check out a guy and be like, oh, yeah.
I mean, either. But every girl I see, I'm like, I'm going to be a couple times I met a guy where I was like, I would go out with you. Like, you're cute. Have you tried to date guys?
Yeah. One time. Yeah. I've been on dates.
He told me he's like, you're not gay. Really? Yeah, he's like, you're sexually gay, but emotionally not. Yeah, that's how I am.
Right. And I think I'm just addicted to sex. And guys are so much easier. You can order them to your house like seamless.
Right. Yeah. What is that? It's like, what am I going to go for?
It's like, what am I going to go for? Yeah. Well, do you make a jerk chicken today? It is crazy.
Have the ever Indian. Like, what are you doing, Indian? No. Is that racist?
No, it's preference. I would do it, Indian. Racists is I don't do Indian because I hate Indians. That's right.
What about Native Americans? Big fan. Me too. Yeah.
Love them. Yeah, me too. It's rare. But I would go that high.
One time a girl hit me. I'm Native American girl. And she was like, why do they call you Wolf mate? And I was like, because I got a wolf tattoo to my head.
And I'm a strain. So, mate, if the enemy kind of works. And she was like, you know, wolves, you know, you're very similar to a wolf. I was like, oh, yeah.
Because I want to be a wolf. I want to be an animal that looks cool and like how's it the movie that makes smoke come out of his mouth? Yeah. It sounds bad at it.
It's great. And like be the leader of the wolf pack. And like, let's go eat some. And I look at my sexuality like I'm aware of, because I'm not always in the show.
But sometimes on a full moon, I'm like, whoa! Right. I see that. Because sometimes it does change.
Yeah. So you like women too though, right? Love them. Mariam, datum, love them, hug them, squeeze them.
Guys, I've tried. Yeah. But like, dude, the wolf thing, I relate. And you like Native American women.
My bedroom's like the party airport. It's just every part of the country. What's the motto of airport? Oh, it's like a hub of international travel.
Right. Yeah. You're saying the people who run through it. Yes.
OK. Yes. Do you want to rank men in terms of races? Oh, like black eyes.
Why do we rank races in terms of skull size? LAUGHTER You do that? LAUGHTER Who has the biggest skull? What about little people?
Would you date a little person? Yeah. I don't know. I might be like this kind of like a kid.
Oh, see that ruins it for me. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. But if you have like an adult.
Little people are like races. They should stick together and never mix. Yeah, OK. Right guys?
Sure. I think it's fairly obvious. You're not monetized. Come on.
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No, I think I would date a little person. But I would. Yeah, not funny because they're little. I mean, funny because they say funny stuff.
That's the thing. Every guy I go for is not funny. Not funny. No personality.
But I've never been attracted to a friend. That's the thing. I've never been attracted to a guy friend. But every girlfriend, I'm like, I made you a mix CD.
And if you listen to song seven verse three, you'll find out how I really feel. That's adorable. But guys, I've never been in a sleepover. I'm like, come on, Justin.