Being looked after: listener question

I have been reading Dr Shefali's new book Radical Awakening.  She talks about many faces of the ego, the helpers, the takers, the controllers (under each one of these there are many facets). We often identify with 2 or 3 predominantly. I was shocked to see one of them I identified with was the Princess (not all of it was me but some of it). I can see over the years that as I became a Mum, gave up my job and have been setting up my own business I lost all confidence in my ability to make my way in the world. I slowly gave away my power to my husband, I became the looked after one. I struggle with the idea that I can make my business a success and can not see how I can't rely on others to help me out. As a child I had a very controlling mother who diminished me & I allowed this to happen in my relationship (but I see this was me). I am actually terrified about how I can make my way in life. When I see others do it , I just think how, that will never be me even though I really want it to be.