Being the Safe One: When You’re the Calm One and No One Asks How You Are | Abi Beri

You are very good at making other people feel better. Several people in your life would name you first if asked who steadies them, who is the calm one. And you have noticed nobody seems to ask that question about you. This hour is for you. This long somatic talk is about the cost of being the regulated one in a dysregulated family — and the strange, unaccounted-for tiredness of the person everyone leans on. Not people-pleasing exactly, though it lives on the same street. Not codependency exactly, though it borrows that road. Something quieter and more specific: the pattern of becoming the safe one for everyone else, and the slow invisible bankruptcy that comes with it. Guided by Abi Beri — Integrative Therapist and Nervous System Specialist (Dublin, Naas, Newbridge & online) — we trace the pattern back to where it began, examine what it looks like in adulthood (sophisticated, often mistaken for competence), name the cost, and turn — at last — towards the practice of becoming the safe one for yourself first. You have only ever been pointing the capacity in one direction. Tonight, we turn a little of it around. Looking for a somatic therapist for parentification, emotional caretaking and burnout in Dublin, Naas, Newbridge or online from anywhere in Ireland or the world? More at somatictherapyireland.com and blissfulevolution.com