Bella Poarch - H3 Podcast # 247

Welcome, we're back. The first official H3 podcast in person. Wow. The mass mandate has gone down yesterday.

We are in the studio, massless, vaccinated vaccination. The first, this is the first in studio interview we've done in a year. Today's episode is sponsored by Canva and Miondis. Of course today, we are very honored to have with us a special guest who's first ever on camera interview or at length interview.

How would you describe it? Either not. Bella Porch, TikTok, phenomenon, musician phenomenon. Had recently your debut, this is an amazing detail.

Debut song, build a bitch. Most viewed debut song in the history of YouTube. Did you know that, you know? What?

No, I didn't know that. Yes, the most. Whoa. It's quite an accomplishment.

Let's hear about the stats. Number one on the global and US YouTube video chart, biggest debut ever for New Arts with over 75 million views in the first day. Wow. The power of manifestation, eh?

Tell me about how you're feeling in life. Tell me about where you are in life, how you doing? I feel like this is like, last year, sorry, last year, I was the happiest. Yeah.

And I think removing toxic people out of my life helped a lot. I stopped talking to people that I didn't like. And yeah, I think that made me feel better. And it helped my manifestations.

I have this rule when I'm manifesting something that you don't tell other people your manifestations and then they don't put negative energy into it. The evil eye, that's what we call it. Or that's what the Israelis are, the Middle Eastern. You know about the evil eye?

I've heard about it. Yeah. We've got to call it. We should have got an evil eye for about that.

They have these eyes. It's like a hand like this with the eye. Yeah, I've seen them. Everyone hating.

It's basically. I have one just because I've always had it. I don't know. It's to stop the haters, essentially.

I don't super believe in it, but it's amazing. It's been great to be back like thousands of years. But people were like, stop the haters, bro. Talk to the hand.

But that is so amazing. Oh my god. I'm still shocked from that. I feel like I kind of got to know you around the time that the song was coming out.

So I almost feel like even more excited for you because I saw you going through the song coming out. Yeah. I mean, you had dinner at our house right before it came out. Yeah.

And you let us preview the video. And I think we were both like, oh, damn. That's a hit. This is a hit for sure.

Thank you. So now that you've manifested, can you say what you tried to manifest? Or can you talk about it? I mean, yeah, I can talk about it.

So tell me about what you manifested for yourself. I just wanted my song to go well. I didn't really manifest all I wanted to be like, you know, like I want a certain view view on YouTube or anything like that. I just wanted it to do well.

And I wanted to see, I wanted people to see that I can be a good artist. Like, because, you know, people are like, oh, she's just a TikTok or she's just another TikTok or song, you know? And I feel like people think like TikTok is a cringe app and you can't really start a musical career from that app. But no, like you can actually start a music career anywhere.

You just do it right and just put like your passion into it will work out. So if you go back to like, let's say, when you were a kid, did you manifest back then? What did you first start manifesting? I only started manifesting last year, actually.

Oh, I thought this was like a big part of who you are. No, it's funny because I don't know anything about manifestation. Beginning of last year, I downloaded TikTok. And the first video was a manifestation talk or whatever.

Oh, why? Yeah, so that was my first video. And I was like, oh, this is interesting. And then it was basically a video talking about, oh, you should start manifesting.

And this is just a simple way. I've been starting manifesting. That should work for you. Yeah.

So what is manifesting as you understand it? It's basically just wishing or believing that what you want is going to happen. Yeah. Is it more complicated or is there like more steps or process?

You have to visualize it. You have to like, is there a process to manifesting something? Mine's very simple. I just write three things on my white, like I have a white board in front of my bed and I see it first thing in the morning and last thing before I go to bed at night.

So it's just like three things. And when one of those three things are done, like if it came true, I just put another one in. That's kind of a great idea though. Yeah.

And then I just put a lot of things on like these specific goals. Makes sense. Yeah. We kind of got to talk about it when we were just the two of us and I was saying, like, I feel like my take on manifestation is that what it really is is like focus, like when you focus on something, you're going to get it done.

If you're focused and you really want to do it, you can do it. So also what's interesting too is like, I feel like a lot of times I'm working and I'm stuck in the motion stuff, but you don't really ever have like clearly defined goals, which is what kind of helps you. Like you said, focus on the sort of manifesting, right? Like I know for both of us when we had this like idea of the podcast, we had such a clear idea.

We wanted and same with that refresh. Like we had this exact, I visualized simple idea that was really easy to focus on. And then it just kind of happened. So what like manifestations have you taken off the whiteboard if I can ask?

Well, the first song. The label. That's awesome. Yeah.

And then of course my first music video and my first song. Anything TikTok related? Yeah, I actually started manifesting and then because of TikTok and that's where I started doing like the three things, like the three manifestations. How did you, by the way, speaking of your music video before we move on too far from Bill of Bitch, Sam, will you bring something and we built something for you?

You built something? Well, not built. We definitely made something. I think you'll like it.

Sam is going to bring it in and you tell us how we did. Sam, thank you so much. What? And memory and the outfit of Bill of Bitch.

Did we do good? This is so cool. What? How?

Oh, for sure. Sam made that by hand. Exactly. Like what I was wearing on the music.

I know. Sam did that by hand. I'm definitely like framing this. This is going like my other apartment.

This is a beyond. This is like a special. Yes, I'm so happy. I love it.

Thank you guys. By the way, you know, people may not know either was almost in Bill of Bitch. Oh, yeah. He almost made the cut.

Yeah. You're almost a build up bitch. Or would you be able to build it? Yeah, you can't build it with people of love.

Yeah, I feel like it was just kind of like unfortunate that we just got to know each other. We didn't even meet that in person. And you asked me if I could come and then I really wanted to, but it was so hard. It was like a Saturday when we were along with Theodore.

And I would have had to like kind of live your alone for the whole day. And lately it's Theodore's a lot. Oh, yeah. So it didn't work out, but maybe in the future.

Yeah, the next one. I would look at it in those tights too. You know, what was your, so you wrote that song Bill of Bitch. What was kind of like, is that something you felt a lot of pressure of people like the expectation for you to be a certain way?

Yeah, I always grew up getting like bullied from like in school. I grew up getting bullied. And I was always made fun out of the way I looked. Why?

That's so hard to believe. Yeah, because my natural hair is really curly. Really? What people make funny curly hair?

I grew up with bill beans. I grew up with bill beans. Oh, because I went straight hair. Yeah, so like the standards over there is like different.

Like you have to have like really pale skin and like straight hair. And yeah, so it's very different. I got bullied because of my hair. I didn't know that you could get bullied or ever ever ever ever ever murdered.

Yeah. You ever think about letting your curly hair go? A few times I did a tech talk with like my natural curly hair and people like, oh wow, you should leave it that way. But I'm like, it's just so hard to like maintain it.

Like you have to put a lot of products. Yeah. And like me putting on this pigtail every day is so much easier than like. I don't know.

I hate having curly hair personally. It's such a pain in the ass. Because you can have a good day, but when you don't, it's like what do you do with hair? I feel like I have more bad hair days when I just let my curls go.

So what was it like for you? I mean, I want to ask you about like kind of your upbringing. You grew up in the Philippines. Yeah.

And then at what, so first of all, what was growing up in the Philippines like for you? It was very different because I grew up in the farm and I took care of like farm animals, goats, sheeps, cows, we had flinty and chickens. I also grew up with like a lot of dogs and cats. Oh really?

It was like over 20. So was that like, was that what your parents did for work? Is there like farmers? No, I think my stepdad just loves animals.

Oh wow. Yeah. So he bought like a huge land and decided to build a house in the middle of that land and decided to just start getting farm animals. How long did you live in the Philippines before you left?

I left when I was like 14 going on the other thing for the day. Yeah. So I was still in my teenage years. So you live with your stepdad, you said, and your mom?

Yeah. So I was adopted when I was three. Before I was adopted, I was actually living with my grandma and it was like in the slums. Like we were very poor.

So yeah. So you live with you grew up kind of in a poor, especially poor place in the Philippines with your grandma? Did you ever know your biological parents? No.

And I feel like I was scared to know and I don't want to know because I feel like meeting them would be just really awkward. I always wonder about that. Some people I guess choose to go and look for their biological parents. But yeah, it seems like I don't know if I would want to do that.

Yes. I'm sure the emotions so complex. I mean, I can't empathize, but I'm sure that. Do you think about them ever?

Or is that something that's kind of you don't even think about on a day-to-day basis? Yeah. I don't really think about it. Yeah.

Because I was really young. I don't even remember if I saw them or yeah. So do you remember like your grandma? Do you talk to your grandma still back in the Philippines?

Yeah. She actually passed away last year. But yeah, I used to talk to her. So you live with your grandma and then you were adopted.

You live with this family on the farm and you live there until you were 13. And so 14? Yeah. Tell me about your, I'm just curious.

You work on a farm. Yeah. It was very hard actually because I have to wake up at four a.m. In the morning.

Yeah. I do. Actually, for I am would be late. Sometimes I have to wake up at three if I want to get to school in time because in the Philippines school starts at like six thirty.

Oh my God. Yeah. So I have to be able to finish all the chores. So I'd be sweeping the yard like picking up dog shit.

Talking to dog shit. Yeah. I'd be cleaning up the cat house because we had a cat house and I'd be sweeping goat poop. Goat pen.

Just a lot of cleaning up shit. Yeah. And I have to clean up real good because if I don't then my stepdad would get mad at me and he'd be like, oh, you're not even breakfast if you don't get this done. Wow.

So yeah. That sounds like like I think bordering on abusive. Yeah. I didn't actually realize that until I got to the States that I was going through that.

To me was normal and yeah, it was. So you would wake up at three a.m. Clean up a bunch of shit and then like how would you step that aside if you did a good job or not? I mean, you usually just tracks the yard and if you see like a poop in the ground.

You don't eat breakfast. Yeah. Sometimes I don't eat breakfast. Sometimes you just like, uh, slap me or you know.

Jesus. And your step mom, was she like protective of you or was she also? She was she was a really legal abusive but she was I felt like she could have, you know, said something about it. Yeah.

But she was very silent about it. She is. My nickname was like stupid bitch growing up. Yeah.

That was my why. And it's hard because in the Philippines, like whatever, whatever happens in your neighbors, like house, you have to mind your own business. Like it's none of your business. So it's hard when I tell people like what's going on in the house and nobody seems to give a shit.

So you try to ask for help from people? Yeah. And then I realized like nobody gives a shit. Like I go to, I went to school one time with a swollen hand on my right hand and it was like bleeding and I tried to like stop the bleeding before I got to school, but it was really bad.

And my teacher was asking me why am I so like slow at writing that day because. And I told her, yeah, my hands are swollen and I can't write with my right hand. So I had to write with my left hand and she was just like, okay, just turn the fuck up and I'm like, okay, nobody gives a shit. There's no questions.

So yeah, so the culture there's very much mind your business. Yeah. Don't get involved in other people's stuff. Yeah.

Whoa. So did you have, did you have like siblings on the, on the growing up there? Yeah. Oh, were they, were they also getting the same treatment?

No, my two sisters, they're treated way differently. You have two sisters. Yeah, older sisters. I'm the youngest and I also have an older brother, which he's here right now.

Was he or what? Well, I won't, won't. Well, you're two older sisters were like not treated the same way. Yeah, they were, they had like a special treatment.

They didn't really had to clean poop like that. All they did was really like maybe clean up inside the house, but they never actually cleaned outside that much. Why is that? Why do you think they targeted you?

Is that fuck with your head? I don't know. I always thought maybe because me and my brother were like the younger siblings. So we were like the 30 worked, you know, your brother got the treatment to.

Yeah. That's why we're like super close. It's like Cinderella dude. Yeah.

My brother was literally like Cinderella. Yeah. So it was like that the whole time growing up in the Philippines. Did you resent your siblings were like treated well?

I always thought it wasn't fair, but I mean, I couldn't really do anything about it. They were also like bullying me and yeah. Oh, godly. They always got like the nice things and I would get like the hand over like here's my old bag or like yeah, that's also why I got bullied in school because I would go to school with like holes in my shoes and like people like one of you because you're getting treated like shit at home.

Yeah. At one time I got so embarrassed because my stepdad decided that I shouldn't my brother and I shouldn't be showering before we go to school. We should shower at night. So cleaning up like poo and say like that.

Of course I'm going to like smell but I ask him like can we shower in the morning and he's like no, you don't have time for that. Yeah. So your work, you're right for school. What's wrong with that?

You ever think about that? Like what is wrong with him? It sounds like he's deeply disturbed person. He recently said that he was diagnosed with PTSD because he was in the army for like 20 years and that was his excuse, but I felt like, I don't know, I felt like, I mean, I have PTSD and I don't go around and hurt people, you know, or take advantage of like people.

So is there some part of you now that you've become successful where you're like, fuck these people, bro, like they treated me like shit. Now I bet they fucking wish that we were, they were good to me. There's got to be like a little taste of like, fuck them. Yeah.

So they've been like reaching out to me and like, oh, we should be doing sooner. Me and it's funny because they think that when I go and meet them, they think I'll change my mind and be like, oh yeah, like. All good. Nice to see you.

Yeah. It's very hard for them to accept what happened in the past. Like they can't accept it. You think and in their minds they are like, oh, wasn't that bad?

Yeah. The way they apologized to me is like, I'm sorry that you feel that way. The worst one. It was, that made me feel so angry and I'm like, would you say something like that?

Yeah. So why would they, I'm just confused. Like they adopted you. It's almost like they adopted you just to like have a little serve it.

Did you ever feel like that? It's like, we got this person to work the farm and do the bare minimum. Yeah. Actually, the abuse didn't start when they adopted me.

Like it was good for like up until I was six. Yeah. And when I was seven, that's when it started. And like we got all the animals in the farm, basically.

But before that, my life, my life was normal. Like I was still, I was still like given like a good treatment. Like we would go to the mall and yeah, spend time like a family. But I don't know.

Everything started changing once we started getting like farm animals, once we started planting trees. I don't know. But that was- You ever think about why? Like why would all of a sudden- I felt like he was just waiting for that moment to like buy a big like land, build like a house and have a farm.

And I feel like he was just waiting for that moment to be be that person. Did he do any work on the farm? He sits in this room like six days a week. But yeah, like he would only come out of his room for like an hour in the weekend.

Oh wow. So deeply withdrawn. And yeah, if he went out, it means he's checking like name my brother's work. So we would be responsible for like cutting the grass by hand.

By hand. Oh, that's just special. And sometimes the grass would be like taller than me because back then I was like seven. Yeah.

And I don't know, I was always scared of snakes, but yeah, me and my brother would just cut the grass. Like she is sick. Oh, sickle. Yeah.

Whoa. Not many people here have sickle. I just kind of. Yeah, I can play with it too.

Oh, Mercedes. Oh, what's your dad? So what is your dad doing in his room all day? He stuck with his computer.

I don't really know what he does in the computer a lot, but yeah. Just only the girl there. Yeah. And maybe super hot in the Philippines.

Like it would be like 95 degrees. So he's hoarding the AC. Yeah. It's his room was the only place in the house that had AC.

Oh my God. There was seven rooms and that was the only room that had AC. Is it a very misogynistic culture? Just back then growing up or was it just he was a dick?

I don't know. I still don't know why he acted that way, but I felt like he just put his anger out to like me and my brother. So you, okay, so it sounds like just a horrible. I mean, that sounds really horrible.

And then so you're spending your time year after year with this family. I think at 14, what happens? How do you how do you escape that situation? Yeah.

So my step there had to get bypass surgery and there was nobody in the Philippines that was willing to do it. And so he had to fly over to Texas to get it done. And after that, when he got the bypass surgery, the doctor told him that he can't go back to the Philippines because it would be it would be bad for him. He would have like health problems and there wouldn't be doctors to take care of him when complications happen.

And during that time when he was gone, I was like so fucking happy. Wow. Yeah. Like how long was he gone for?

Months, like three months. And so when he's gone were you still picking up dog show? Yeah. I was still responsible.

But I you could shower in the morning. Yeah. Tell me about what tell me about the experience of him being gone. It was it was fun.

Watch TV. I get to sit in the couch because I wasn't I wasn't allowed to sit in the couch. Yeah. So me and my brother would be watching movies and we would be sitting in the floor.

Oh, you were not allowed to even sit on the couch? Even if there was space on the couch? Yeah. I mean, the couch would be empty and I and your siblings were allowed to sit on the couch.

Yeah. I mean, they could do whatever they're like. But yeah, it's just you and your brother were like this. And that is second class.

Yeah. Second class in the house. Yeah. And so I was happy because I get to like watch TV and felt like a normal human being.

Yeah. And I couldn't even in the house. It was the rule where you can't speak the native or native language. So we were only allowed to speak English.

So that my step that would understand everything single thing we're talking about. Well, your step that doesn't speak the native language? No, he's he's white. Oh, he's American.

Yeah, he's American. I didn't understand that detail. Yeah. So your step that is an American living in the Philippines.

Yeah. He decided to retire in the Philippines. Oh, wow. Yeah.

And the wife, the mom. I think they met in Saudi Arabia when he was stationed there. So your step mom is Filipino. Is Filipino.

Mm-hmm. So they got they met when he was serving. And then he moved to the Philippines to be with her. They don't have any biological children.

Oh, no. Oh, wow. Wow. What the fuck?

Yeah, it's a really every time I tell the story. All right. But it's just a wild. Me and my brother were talking about him, but like this is like a fucking book.

Like we can literally. It is unbelievable. You are literally Cinderella. Yeah.

Dude, it's crazy the parallels to Cinderella. They have the older siblings who get all the good treatment. Mm-hmm. And then you have the younger sibling who sits in the basement, has to clean, gets all the shitty clothes.

It's literally Cinderella. And then you leave the fucking coop. You get the glass slippers and all that shit. I know.

What the hell? Yeah. So you're, so okay. So your dad or your stepdad, who's American?

He goes, he's gravely ill. He goes back to America for surgery. Mm-hmm. And the doctor's like, you can't go back.

Mm-hmm. And so he stays there. Is he still here? Oh, yeah.

So what's going on back in the Philippines? My two sisters just live there now. And your step mom? She's, she's, she's.

So he just abandoned his family? Like that? No, it's not abandoned. Like they still like take care, like send money over there to have the house taken care of.

Wait, who's in front of that? My, my parents, my, my step parents. Oh, so, okay. My parents are here.

Yeah, because my two sisters are living in the Philippines. Got it. And what is their relationship like? Your step parents?

What's their really, like, yeah, do they love each other? Or are they, I think they do. They do love each other. Mm-hmm.

Like they rarely fought. Are they like, like, are they like psychos? I mean, I don't want to be disrespectful. Yeah.

I don't know. I don't know. How would you describe them? I don't know.

They seem close when I was growing up and I was going through like abuse. They seem really close. But I mean. Do you think they bonded over like treating you guys like, I don't think so.

I feel like she was just scared to speak on because she didn't, she didn't work or anything. So he made all the money, you know, and I mean, he was retired. So what was his work? No, he was getting retirement.

Oh, he was like a ex-serviceman on a pension. Yeah. Yeah. He served like 20 years.

So he did like the full years and. Okay. So interesting. So they move back to the States.

You're 14. You're like, this is amazing. I feel like a normal human being. So what, what happens next?

He said that he has to take the family and the, to the States. Oh, so he, so he brought you and your brother, just you two. Oh, yeah. Because my two older sisters were too old too.

What do you mean he has to? Because my like, he's going to be alone if he doesn't and he's responsible for us though. Okay. So legally because he adopted you guys.

He has to bring you guys. Yeah. And my older sisters, you have to be 18, I think at the time to be sent to the, to the States, like to immigrant. So my sisters were too old for them.

Wow. And then you're living with your step parents again. Where you guys live in? First we went to San Francisco, lived with my aunt and you didn't even live with them.

What? You did not live with your step parents? Oh, we were living with them with your aunt. Yeah.

Got it. And I liked it because he couldn't touch me or my brother because my aunt was there. It wasn't the same situation. Yeah.

People in America, people in America, the culture is different. They care about, or they, they don't mind getting involved. Did they see a child being abused? Yeah.

But like my aunt wouldn't notice that we were like robots. Like we would literally sit like this and not talk. It was only like, yes, sir, yes. It's like no.

Well, so strict. Yeah. So we were always scared around him and I would always flinch whenever he's around. And this is your dad's sister?

Your mom or your dad's sister? It's like a, I call her aunt, but it's in the Philippines. If your mom, your mom is cousins with like, um, yeah, it's like a cousin. Okay.

So your dad's cousin? No, my mom. Like, oh, your mom? Yes.

Because your mom is Filipino, but she has a relative in San Francisco. Yeah. She's also Filipino. Oh, wow.

Yeah. So did you're, did your aunt at any point ever be like, like hit up your dad like what is going on here? No, well, she's Filipino. So they're like, um, oh, so wasn't the American like, yeah, it wasn't the American.

But did she ever talk to you guys? Like what's going on? Oh, no. Yeah.

She just kind of like, uh, did any adult ever intervene and ask like, are you guys okay? What's going on here? Um, no, not really. Wow.

Um, when I was living in Texas, the neighbors would like hear like my stepdad yelling at me and stuff like that. And they would just, yeah, they would just hear that almost every day. And I would be taking out the trash and the lady would just be like, just let me know and you know, you know, they were worried about you. Yeah, they were worried.

So yeah, that was like, I think that was the first time I felt that that field acknowledged by someone even in that small way. I was very like emotional about it because I'm like, wow, someone actually cared here. Wow. Yeah.

So it's crazy. And did you ever like go to her or was it just the acknowledgement? Um, uh, I was scared to like reach out to people. Yeah.

I still had that mindset. Like I'm scared. You might like, I don't know, do something. Right.

Yeah. I think that's, that's kind of typical and abusive relationship, right? Yeah. And you just basically just learn to deal with it until you take, get the opportunity to leave.

And yeah, I was just waiting. So you were in San Francisco. You moved there. So when it, so yeah, San Francisco for a few months, it was like two months.

And then I went to Fresno and that's where I went to high school. Yeah. And that's where I graduated to. So you spent your whole high school years in Fresno?

Um, it was like a year. Oh, just a year. Yeah. And how was that?

It was good. It was good. I mean, I was a loner. I had one friend and so I graduated when I was 16 and I was like 15 at the time when I was um, going to like my senior year.

And so people would always ask me like, are you, are you in this class? Like, you look really like, are you sure you're not a sophomore or freshman? And I'm like, no, this is my class. Like I was senior and yeah, because you look younger.

Yeah. And yeah, it's, I liked it because it was a way like school. I always like school because it was a way of me not being at home. Yeah.

And it was like an escape. Was there a culture shock? Yeah. Definitely a culture shock.

Well, because you described the home life in the Philippines where you're not allowed to sit on the couch. You're not allowed to watch movies. I'm sure you didn't do a lot of things. You probably didn't go like, like what's some notable things that you could do in the United States that you weren't allowed to do or didn't have access to in the Philippines?

I mean, even in the States, I wasn't allowed to like, hang out or go out or anything like that. But I mean, he changed a few rules. Like, oh yeah, you can sit on the couch now. Wow, what a generous, like a rest of the time.

But I wasn't, I was basically not allowed to go hang out with friends after school or anything like that. I was, I never went to the mall. You go to a movie, movie theater, you go to like out to eat. With my brother when we were out looking for like jobs or something, that was me and it's time to go hang out.

You never went to like a roller skate or arcade or out with friends? No. No, that's, that never, like I never had a childhood, basically. Damn, that is just.

Yeah, and that's why like my, my manager is like, Ariana Dea, you're like, wow, there's so many things you haven't done. And yeah, they're just like taking me to like these places and experiencing new things. Well, when you came over to eat, welcome, I don't remember, but you had never had Italian food. Yeah, I mean, I never had real Italian food.

Okay, well, you said you had pizza. You were asking your pizza to tell you. I was like, well, yeah, technically it is. Yeah.

How was it? It was really good. We had to get them again for another. Okay, listen, I'm going to throw it to a quick break and we'll pick up right where we are when we come right back.

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I lose track of time. They've been this month for four years. A year or two ago. Oh, Lee, I didn't realize we were doing the show for so long.

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Thank you, Bella. So when did you move to Texas? After I graduated from high school. Okay.

Yeah. And you went with your family again? Yeah. Why is he moving around so much?

I don't really know. I couldn't really ask any questions. So like I said, it was only like yes, no. And if you have a reason, don't say anything.

Yeah. I can't really. I can't really. I never actually had a genuine conversation with him or any conversation.