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Out of all of the mythical figures that are commonly known to the general public which one do you wish most actually existed? Napa napa karen. Napa napa napa karen. Napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa napa I I is cool yeah tells of wizardry income the top the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the dragon The bus the dragon the boss the dragon Yeah, no, you didn't have to really repeat it.
I got it. We could drag him with nice tits What you say the dragon had huge Then godless tears and piss and dibbers the dragon with nice with a nice rack. I'm listening Man, this movie's way better than any movie. That's ever been a movie.
Well, certainly it's come out in the script 10 15 years What's up with that? When's the next time somebody's gonna make a movie that everybody's just like awesome? No, no Wait, what's the same to say and when someone's gonna make a song? It is Songs I actually think are a little bit different I actually feel like like I still see stuff in movies that is like I see more original movies than I hear original music It's starting to feel like there really aren't any there might not be any moves left that nobody thought of before they're any good I do still occasionally see movies that feel like fresh and different like Meg For example the Meg yeah, or stunning Meg to that blue of mine.
Yeah, apparently HP Lovecraft also wrote the call of Cthulhu The call of Cthulhu the call of Cthulhu. I think it's about like a thing And the only reason I know that is because it's an Italian song the call of the notorious. I think he's right really good Yeah, so call of Cthulhu is I'm saying it wrong. I believe you are.
Is that an instrument happened to me, Mark? I know it was the first time for everything David Gaffin is a record mogul. He started Geffen Records. Geffen creepy Geffen for example is Guns N' Roses Nirvana Geffen's a thing.
He's a billionaire and it's all you really filmmaker though the whole the whole he has Filed for divorce from I thought these two kids were gonna make it. Oh, they're gay. He's yeah. Yeah, they both get yeah Yeah, that guy seems pretty young David Armstrong a.k.a.
Donovan Michaels the name he used when he performed as a go-go dancer I was like the first anal lady two-year-old billionaire and go-go dancer. Oh That's look at it. That's adorable 82 and 32 they did not broke up. I know That's insane.
I would have thought that the go-go dancer I really wanted to see this guy straight into hospice Right that's a forever relationship if I've ever seen what I love about this I'm gonna take it him but wearing a cowboy hat cuz you guys man that guy does not get with horses that guy is old dudes He's only wearing the cowboy hat so he can take it off and wave it around while he's if it's okay, everybody knows that and it's okay Man, that's a tough day. It's a tough night at the office. That's your husband eight point seven billion. Okay, wait.
Wait. No No, it's not okay. So let's not get ahead. Let's take this piece by piece because to me this is so exciting exciting I would take that dudes cheers for four billion.
Yeah, so would you Michael? Yes, your wife would be okay with it No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, not even I'm trying to think of how bummed out even be about it For a second to be bummed. Yeah, would I be are we sure I would be bummed? Are we positive?
I can be injecting his penis with something to make it hard at 80. I would just kind of be a rad to be like I was fucking Like that's insane that dude's a good looking guy. He's a spicy piece of mad meat. Yeah, he's he's he's like a hot He's getting plapped by a fresh meat on the side cuz that guy he doesn't know he doesn't know where he is I think I fall asleep after dinner, so you can still go out to the clubs.
Oh, yeah, he's like go out have fun Yeah, just make sure you you know me. Don't catch anything. Yeah, don't give cuz I don't think I can even take It's going down from the floo son, so he's knocking on it. So first I Didn't know that these true had found true love.
Yeah, and that Gefan was parading this guy around Looks like they're like courtside at the Lakers there or something here a whore so that is a fucking crazy Have you met wait, what's his name again? Horb I jaggens Man, you know what you can talk shit on him. Have you met Donovan, but I don't know a man I think I met my husband Donovan. Yeah, I don't know a straight man that wouldn't take that deal Okay, but here's the thing for a billion take that guy.
They're married. They've been married for about a year. Oh, that's all listen Sorry, I'm super excited about this. I know it is exciting no prenup Wait, but you've you had all that money.
Are you smart? Mm-hmm cuz he thought it was real I don't know so that was real so Donovan here enters into a relationship to his into a marriage with an 82 year old The guy was almost a billionaire ten times over with no prenup. It's so good. He is the smart He is smarter than Elon Musk except no, it turns out if you read the money that it works It's not supposed to be based on what you have it's what you earn and the way Gefan's money is set up He actually just earns a really small amount of money and like stock dividends He knew it the whole time and I'm saying Donovan had no idea.
Oh, okay. Yeah, right Yeah, so they're like he basically all this guy is probably really entitled to is spousal support Which is typically runs for half as long as a relationship And get in spinal triumph but that is that is fair. Oh my god, you're dinner is fair for this guy, right? Yeah, like you suck that dude's dick for a year now you get like a hundred fifty K Yeah, I don't know if he came for years a lot of money it is and that is probably to keep like a matching car or what You know, so that if I is smart you can do not know he's not come on It's got a Do not marry that guy if it's got the answer smart he could probably he's a young man He could he could take his notoriety take a little money I'll invest it and and have it grow for a retirement someday, but instead it's all going to be gone in three months Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah potty that away.
Yeah. Wow. Well that is yeah such a love affair. Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm. God. Yeah. I don't know if I could do it Like I'm old and you're hot and I'm rich.
Mm-hmm. I mean that tells me that he's got problems the 80 year old Maybe okay the best case of your games when it comes on hot you got money the best case scenario that I can think of is Like I'm gonna ding bad in my house. No, I understand is My best case scenario in my mind of what might have actually been possible between Anna Colesmith and the Texas guy That was for sure bullshit. Okay.
Well, I don't know about that Here's what I think the best case scenario is is if I am like a really hot go-go dancer And the who's the Walmart check she's like 80 and she wasn't even hot when she was 20 and she meets me and she asked me About I'm like and she's like hey, but you go to dinner some time and I'm like this is really fucking weird that 80 year old Walmart lady wants to take me out and eventually she's just like look I can't take it with me Um, I don't really like my family Let's be clear. I think you're fucking hot. I don't even know if I said chili function anymore But I'd really like it if you would try tell me I'm pretty I'll wear you know I'll keep the lights down just like pretend that you like me Maybe someday you actually even kind of will and give me companionship Let me have some cheap thrills when I want you to get up and shake your little booty for me And and when I'm gone, you'll never talk about and when I'm gone You'll never have to worry about money again. Could I for that lady like actually take a dick pill and be like I'm gonna give her everything I've got it.
I think I actually think I could give me two I think I could and I think that I think that may have been the case with Anna Nicole and that guy Right, that's the scenario where it's like I think everybody's winning here unless he's out of his mind And the family might well argue these simple Yeah, the family might legally argue the simple fact that he's trying to give all of our money away That is the proof that he's insane. I don't think it's that simple. Yeah, I think I could totally fuck a wretched old lady for Money and the lols to the law Yeah, man. That's where the law in that this is fucking wild that I'm like, you want me like spin your mouth?
Like let's fucking go a lady. Oh, dang she's been in mind You want to spin my mouth old lady? Because that's kind of funny. You wanna fucking spin my mouth lady.
Yeah, yeah Yeah, see your angle dude. I like I'm not gonna be like experience I'm not gonna be like show me your bank account again because that's like really rude But I might I might make up like I might hire some like it's a cool jewelry I might hire somebody to photoshop a bank balance like like I got city bank like make it look like my city make me a image that's like my city bank, but the balance is like 87 million dollars and I just I wouldn't say make up my screensaver because she's gonna see that I just have it somewhere I can get real easily so when she's like, well, you did you ever spin in your lover's mouth? I just gotta go in the bathroom and then we're gonna start spitting. I just go to the bathroom Like literally look at that.
Just get in there and start spitting bro. Yeah, I'm working up on one Yeah, I just realized like I say that like you know for a million dollars could you have a good day? Yeah, it's like I give you a million dollars cash like dude that guy can give you a million dollars cash Like would you buff up me for a million dollars cash like right? I think that's easier than being an abbey old day Muslims in the corona doesn't say that women can't read I've seen several of them do it.
Right, but some people are not left Sometimes when they're just moving there I don't think this guy was speaking in tongues on purpose I genuinely felt like he would just do it It definitely freaked me out to the point where I didn't want to have sex with him anymore because it freaked me out And he caught that and he took it away from you know I just stopped returning his calls and his time never told me but he thinks it's because of that I know I fucking would Yeah, if you stop returning my calls after I came and went I want to stop because of my beard or because I fucking spoke in tongues when I jizzed no because I slept with him After that many times I stopped talking because I was dating somebody for a while I looked up some other unusual things that people have said or done during the course of sex Like how we got on this topic. It's a good one somebody said I spoke with a guy He started talking to the ghosts that were apparently watching us. He claimed he was just like the kid from the sixth sense We should have people call and text in a weird stuff. We've said that So maybe if someone's if you have sex with a girl and someone else is watching that's not a phrase Look if I'm if I'm having sex with somebody and they can see somebody who's like, oh, yeah Just like that.
Oh, I'm flicking the bean. Well, then they are kind of having a three-way experience. I'm not If you go, oh, I'm flicking the big like a backwards baseball cap Flicking to be you can't flicking to buy yourself. I'm leaving so gross What else tell you let's can people call or text in of like some weird shit that you've heard?
Yeah, please your vagina is so warm You could bake bread in there. Oh Is that like a yeast joke? No, I don't think so. Unfortunately, uh, only um Intentionally he looked me dead in the eyes and said you got it from your mama while inside of me He had never even met my mom.
Yeah, he also made whiny. Why need dog sounds the entire He said he was making the sound the dogs make when they want more affection Jason, what are you thinking of it sounds like that's making you laugh so hard? Doesn't matter just a dude a dude pretending to be a dog is so crazy like a little puppy I Roxanne You should do an Asian title as greatest hits. Yeah, dude.
I'll be good at that As sung by an Asian toddler darkness in prison in there. Oh, that I see absolutely what I cannot do. I cannot die. I tried by myself Left is my hooding cell Let mine has taken my speech take about here.
Take my arms. Yeah, get my legs. Take my soul I love him That's how I would imagine it would sound like Yeah, it really was amazing. So uh, thank you for anybody who followed us over from youtube the uh, what was it the the miles farewell Funtacular the miles execution has ended and welcome to the zacktacular.
Yes. Thank you It only took me two and a half years to learn how to do that zack. I'm not gonna lie. You've got some pretty retarded shoes to fill You know Everyone loves him so much.
I'm like, I don't I think I just got to start doing a miles impression I don't know if I should be myself. I don't look at that. You just got you just got a you got to know vip manise You got to know sexual into window When shits cut dry Yeah, you got to play zack the buttons dude so we can learn the lore the lore I like that. He's like you do it You show zack just cut dry By standards by standards.
Where does a whale's head even start and end dude? That's the question I didn't want to find out. Jesus Christ mate In the window. I think big boobs are better.
I have a rose from the poor in pay It's a fucking sexual into window Gorgeous any down to meter boy No, no, no not today. That's just some of those hits It was great. You can get rid of both of us and just We've done it before Please don't play it. Oh man That was a lot.
Yeah. Yeah, is that what done you? So zack I thought perhaps we could get to know you Yeah, that's great It's just a casting costume. That was really quick.
Are you ready for this job dude? You got a leak dogs anal glands after every single episode Yeah, you have to clean the pool You have to clean up uh Ian cigarette butts you've never done any of that ever I was gonna say I feel like this is stuff you got tricked into you have to put the recycling in the trash in the recycling That one's harder than that he did for like a couple months and then I would explain it to him and then he would do it again I was like did you hear what I said? Does this look like a sandwich to you? No, it's a can I feel like in your 20s.
That's when you just let people tell you what to do and then when you get your 32 Oh, let's right. I don't have to do it's aluminium. He just didn't listen. Yeah Maybe he can't he put say He puts ends in the recycling.
I was like do you think sends every cycle? They're not um I was like wow, that's a wood illamour poor destitute cowboy somewhere. You know organic materials. Yeah, that's a mulch I guess making a zin mulch pile.
Should I compost because I got the option. I just don't really care What is compost compost zak? What is compost? It's uh when you throw all your old vegetables and stuff and uh Food items, my biodegradable.
Yeah biodegradable and uh one big like that Or that has worms in it. You can use it to garden and stuff. What if you don't got Yeah, that's a good question. I don't know what else I mean when the garden is common They put the stuff in the green bean that way you would put your mulch.
No composting is like sorry compost You can put like boxes in compost, right? No, no you fucking retard You're saying that you're gonna have to figure out recycling etc. It took you longer Yeah, you fucking idiot. That was so dumb.
Holy shit. You're dumb cardboard box is viable degradable Man, I need that button. What the fuck do you say that? Vibe?
Nah, Geekon. Viable degradable. Yeah, that's my idea. Yeah, I think if you were a superhero With special needs you don't do hip-hop eight.
You'd be viable degradable. Uh-oh. You're viable degradable. Nice Rockstar!
Holy shit. My favorite hip-hop song ever. That could be a fucking hit. If you can't go over another two minutes So nice.
Oh man, that was so good. Take my step of the thing I said about you. Hold me to be the guy dude. Hit me to be the guy.
Spent in like America's somebody get me. I'm a goddamn damn man. Somebody that you used to know! Geekon.
And then flow. Kinda good. If he wrote it all down and did that without stopping I would bump that song in my car. Ladd is fuck with the we does down.
Yeah, I'd be like what the fuck are you guys looking at? This is new shit. Can you make that? I could try dude.
The production value is probably gonna be pretty bad. Yeah, that's a matter. Write it down. Write it down.
Write it down. Write it down. I realize that you are retarded. Write down Roxanne.
Write down even flow. Write it down and we'll tell you the ones because you're not gonna remember. Michael, it's all helping. This is gonna happen.
Even flow. Even flow. Smelling like a man. Smelling like a man.
He dead man's dead man. Even flow as a hook is really good. Yeah, just saying it even flow over and over. Roxanne.
Somebody used to know. Somebody used to know. Somebody used to know. Of course.
Oh yeah, and then the Roxanne R&B hooked it. I'm top of it. Root, bloody roots. Oh yeah, I do.
I forgot about Cooch Blood Cooch. Yeah. You got Message in a Bottle? Oh dude.
See, there are a lot. Yeah, I know. There's enough to make a song. Message in a Bottle.
That's what I just said. Yeah. He's William Hung version of Message in a Bottle. Oh, don't speak dude.
Yeah, don't speak. Got to know that. cardboard box in the, what is it? In the compost?
In the compost. Yeah. That's the album name. This is a compostable cardboard box.
If I hold the gradeable. If I hold the gradeable, it's fucking huge. Literally everything. Like this is gonna be the new intro to the JSL show.
I'm not singing anymore. I'm just playing this because I think the beat is somebody else's. Yeah, give yourself a rest and just let them tear it out. I did.
Just walk in and have the show. I request look, can I do the, can I do the like the trap beats? Yeah. All that.
Just don't do it over his. No, yeah. I'll do it. I'll record it with him.
Wait. And then I have spent time with my looped up hand. Yeah, sure. Do you have actual recording capabilities beyond what Miles says at his disposal?
Which is nothing. Yeah. You do. Yeah.
Okay. I need to make a music video with me and the boog. Oh, wow. Wow.
Too bad you unplugged that camera. I can't figure out. It turned upside down before the show started. He just flipped it and then rested it against.
Yeah, the camera's upside down right now. When everything reset, it just came back upside down. Yeah. He didn't do it.
I got to say though, he didn't do anything wrong. It just came back upside down. No, the other guy unplugged it without telling anybody. Wait, but if it came back upside down, can't you flip it around?
He did. He flipped the camera, but he didn't flip like we didn't flip the settings. The camera itself was just upside down. Even though it was upright when it came back on.
So he just took it. Yeah. It worked. Yeah.
It worked. Yeah. We got we got rocks. We got rough.
We got even flow. We got span like a damp man. And then we got somebody that you used to know you didn't need to cut me off. And then we have to play a coach.
And then we have messaging up. And then we have don't speak. I know what you're saying. And then we have a bar bar box and a compost.
We got vitable degradable. We have spent time with my legal plan. Vamenese. Oh, yeah.
Vamenese. Wait, that's not a song. He's just saying to be wrong. Okay.
Just checking. I'm another song. I didn't know yet. No means in the window.
Yeah. In the window. What else? We have a cut dry.
Yeah. Why don't you check the chat? They know more than more than you. Yeah.
Yeah. Tell me chat. Yeah. Crowdsource this.
Oh, they just love you. Oh, well. And then do what else? Is that kind of that's kind of it?
What's the other part of that rock sand with the red dress or whatever? You know, red light. Oh, yeah. You don't have to put it on a red light.
Forgot it. Oh, smash. You ready? Oh, we're doing all right.
Yeah. Wait. Okay. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, fire bolder. Grader pull box in a compost.
That's cardboard. Vamenese in the window. It's cut dry. Huh.
Spent time with my luda pan because I likes the feel. Don't speak. I know what you're saying. You know, I ain't playing message in a bar to coach.
Bloody coach. Somebody you used to know you didn't need to cut me up. Even flow. Time.
Come on. Rock sand. You didn't need to put on the red dress. That's everything.
Wow. That is big. That is that big. You really it's a shame you're leaving because I feel like we should just keep working on that.
Yeah. I'm happy we're figuring this out at the end. I know. That is just like something that could be so good.
You just come back every day and then we work on that. You don't get paid. It's not producing more. I'm just off of you.
Can you be a volunteer MC? It just comes into the stock. And I leave. Yeah.
There'd be so many more people at the start of every show. We'll just hear the song and then leave. It's not gonna get you better. Okay.
So I did a big day out to it with this guy once. And this is when he was a little kid. First time I ever met him. He tried to sell me weed when he was 15 at the ramp.
So this is a we did a demo. Big day. I thought they tried to sell me weed. Sell me weed.
That's right. Sorry. Yeah. Okay.
I bought weed. I didn't flitch at all. I was like, yeah, give me three. We got we were jumping in this pool at a hotel.
I think it was in Adelaide or Perth. Well, I can't remember fucking drunk. And we were jumping off a balcony over people into the pool. And the manager came out versus like security came out.
We're like fuck off. So he said in the manager in a suit comes out and he goes, the next person that jumps off that is is like out of the hotel guaranteed out of the hotel. And do you know the band Mudhoney? No.
So this is band Mudhoney. They were pretty big like at the time. But the singer, I don't fucking know the dirty scene pretty cool. But he had like a Hawaiian shirt on him sitting there enjoying us jumping off the balcony.
Like he was like, I like you guys, you fucking maniacs. And he had his like fruity cocktail drink. He's fucking wasted. And the manager comes out and he's yelling at all of us about how he's going to kick us out.
And I watch this Mudhoney guy, casually walk around behind him, then run full speed and fucking shoulder check him and jump in the pool with the manager, like pushed him into the pool. And then when he jumped in, like the manager comes float up and goes, who did that? And Mudhoney guy just jumps out of the side of the pool and goes back into his little chaise lounge thing and sifties drink like nothing happened. And the security the manager doesn't catch it.
He's like, right, everybody's fucking out of here. The whole big day out is evicted. And then we're like, yeah, fuck off. And then the cops show up.
And they're like, everybody who's on the big day out, get out in the front of the hotel, line up. So now we're in a line out the front while all these cops are getting taken our names and shit. And Jake's standing next to me. And Jake is, you know, he's a little guy when he had a fucking shaved Mohawk with dreadlocks at the time.
And he's fucking wasted. You're like, I'm wasted. And he's so wasted that I'm like, just calm down, Jake. You calm down.
And he's like, oh, fuck, I'm gonna give a fuck mate. And I'm like, just chill out. You know, the cops just talk to the cops, cool. So we can get the fuck back out of here.
He's like, yeah, yeah, fuck these cunts. And then the cops come up and get the names. They get up to Jake. He may go, give me your name.
And Jake goes, Jake, the fucking sick cunt around. What? And I go, I go, he's cool. I've got him mate.
I'll take care of him. I put him back in the room. No problems. And he's like, you sure what about?
Yeah, sure. Jake's like, oh, you're breaking you that fucking big. And I'm like, Jack, shut up. He's trying to lie to the guy up.
He's like, you want to fucking go, and I'm like, Jake, shut the fuck up. Yeah, he was like the greatest. And then at the standard is another one, me and Colin are at the table downstairs. Me while calling at this point is why I'm calling.
Yeah, but we're, we're drinking at the table in the lobby. And Jake walks by and this is, you know, Jake's the legend. Now he's a zombie. Like he died and he came back to life and he comes walking past us and we're like, Hey, Jakey.
And he's like, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, Oh, bit ham and mate. I like him talk. He's just so hammered.
And he walks by us. He's like, come on, Jakey. And he's like, fuck off. And then he stumbles past us.
And there's a security for the little elevator that goes up to the nightclub. And there's the velvet ropes with the little, the little post things. And he walks up behind big black security guard, like seven foot, six guy, six foot seven guy. And he grabs the, the pole that's holding the, the velvet rope and just sweet there.
And the glass elevator has the, like the, the handrail is glass on the side. And he just whips the fucking, the pole into the glass on the side. Like, fuck it. Why am I fucking it?
It doesn't break. But he hits it. He tried to break it next to the security guard security guard. The security guard looks over and goes, what the fuck dude?
And you're out of here. And I'm like, he's cool. He's cool. He's with us.
It's Jake Brown. He's fucking, I mean, just said, accident. Like, he's all right. And then they're like, Nah, he's fucking out of here.
And I'm like, look, I'll take him to his room right now. You know, you gotta let him go. He's staying here. And he's like fucking right now.
Like, I'll go with you. And I'm like, yeah, man, no worries. I'll take him with it. We'll take him.
We get him the elevator. And it's me, the security guard at Jake. We'll go into his room. And he goes, you think you can fucking take me?
Do you can't? And I'm like, check it. Like shut up. And I go, look, dude, he's drunk.
He doesn't know what he's talking about. And Jake's, as you saw, fucking five foot nothing. And he can barely stand. And he just keeps talking shit to this dude.
And the dude's looking at me and I'm like, he's not even home. Like, let it go. And the security guys get more and more angry. And then he keeps pecking at him, keeps pecking at him.
And then we get out of the elevators. I reckon I can fucking take you, mate. And I'm like, Jake, he shut up. And then when you get to the door, he said, some one more thing.
And the guy goes, what'd you fucking say? He's like, you heard me, don't come. That guy goes, right, that's it. You're out of here.
And Jake, he slammed the door at his face. He's like, can we get me your fucking fat cut? Like, the guy's trying to bash the door. Jake is on the other side laughing, talking shit.
And nobody on the other side with the security guard. I'll just let him go, dude. He's gonna pass out any minute now. Like, let it happen.
Like, just always do. I tried to find, like, where is he now? And I'm not. He's in penultimate.
Oh, yeah, it's won't be on the internet. I went on his Instagram and it says, yes, I'm still alive. He's got a link to like a Venmo. And you follow him, Jason.
We both do, yeah. Yeah. Can you, what if you guys call him and check on him and just see how he's doing? Yeah, cool early now.
Is it? What time is it in Australia? Well, like, fall for it. Maybe he's up for a minute.
I like to make a request for both of you guys to reach out to me. Yeah, maybe you're right. Because he sounds like a really special person. No, he's the best.
And maybe he just needs a friend. Thank you. And it looks like he's got a Venmo. So, Ellis Fam, if you guys want to help this guy out.
Well, that was the other thing. He used to tell me that his plan in life was to retire and open a pub. And I was like, that is the worst idea ever, Jake. You're an alcoholic.
Like a pub is not, he's like, yeah, but you couldn't kick me out of it. It was me pub. And I was like, yeah, I get that as an angle. But I had him DJ at an Elis mania.
And he got kicked out because he kept, his pants kept coming off. And they were around his ankles. And he just stand there, keep talking. At one point, when he was DJ, he fell asleep on the turntables.
And someone nudged him. And he played the same song like four times. But he got kicked out of Elis mania. And he was the DJ.
And he snuck back in and kept DJ. And then afterwards, it was at the palladium afterwards, people said that they went to these other parties down the strip where Jake was at several bars with his pants around his ankles because it just, they just kept dropping and he kept not like giving a shit about them being around his ankles. When I got married at the Houdini mansion, everybody had to leave. And when I woke up in the morning, because I was going back.
And we got in the morning, Jake Brown was there. He slept in the bushes. He was like, Jake, you're making like a fucking crash here? And I was like, it's my wedding knot, dude.
He's like, David. And I was like, dude, I love you. But it's my wedding knot. We're going to try to bone around the...
Consonate the marriage? Yeah. Arrested for smacking boy who called her fat and misspiggy. She does look like misspiggy.
She really does. Yeah. And on a flight home from where? From Disney.
Yeah. Well, Misspiggy is not a Disney thing, but... Yeah, but she is. Yeah.
Maybe she should have thought of that before. Before she was so fat and ugly. Yeah. That kid is...
He might be somebody. Yeah, that gets going. Yeah, because that's spot on. Right.
Like that's a... It's like calling her misspiggy is... That's like she got into an argument with Louis C.K. Yeah.
You know, seeing her with like a high level. Yeah. Like this is going to sting. I hate to break it to you, but...
That's spot on. If you have a pig nose, you either need to be fit or anorexic. Yeah, well, what's that? Because you can't.
No, you can't have you. No, and it's hard to like pig nose people. Yeah. Like they...
I don't trust a pig nose, man. And most of the time when I trusted a pig nose, man, I was right. Yeah. He's a pig nose, a lot.
Right. Yeah, I get car dealer vibes off of... Be in a car but having a pig nose, guys. Yeah, like the Wigam vibe.
Well, this segues nicely into a subject that I broached at the beginning of the show yesterday. I got to thinking about if you woke up in the middle of the night and found a fictional fantasy character sitting in your bedroom, presumably having been there for more than a couple of minutes in the dark staring at you intently and masturbating. Like, who would you want it to be? Who would you least like it to be?
SWEZY. Who is the greatest? Oh, oh, it's the greatest. Wednesday, who's the greatest of them all?
Yeah. Let's talk about Miss Piggy sexually. Right. What kind of vibes are you getting on for her?
Goodie bed. Oh really? Hey. Oh, I see.
I read pillow princess very strongly. Oh, wow. Right, wow. Yeah.
Really? Man, yeah, you could be right. How do you call himself moi? You're actually expecting them to fucking muss their hair in bed?
Oh, I... Yeah. I'm a cuddle. Yes.
Big girls really get it in. So, I'm hard to disagree. She's fat, but 80s fat. So she's just like voluptuous.
Yeah. Like now, fat is tremendous. You know? I don't think she can see.
They have a fat guys in comedy movies where they're like, know that fat? Yeah, for sure. Now it's just like, yeah. Yeah.
Insane. Yes. And Jackson sent me a self-defense guy. Yeah.
That's a fat guy. There's a fat guy he's showing a fat guy how to like, defend stuff. And like he's got one of those, you know, the gut that goes over the, your pants kind of thing. Yeah, Dunlop disease.
Is Billy Dunlop over his, over his belt? Ha ha. Oh shit. Okay, I said it to you.
See, here's, here's the thing now. I think the crude stereotypes that you're dabbling in right now, Zach, is that a girl who is a little overweight is self-conscious because she may perceive herself to be perceived as less attractive and therefore she feels like she has to work harder. That's exactly. I think that's the angle you're going with.
Oh, this is not an assumption. This is life experience. Gotcha. Look, I've had similar experiences, but I've also had experiences with the voluptuous that we're not, right?
Yeah. So you can't, right. It's like saying all black people are fast. Right.
What? Miss Piggy thinks that she's the hottest chick ever. So she wouldn't have that overcompensation angle. Right.
All right. I'm on board now. Right. You might have argued just yourself until when.
I also, I typically have the, like I find the, like the stuck up bitch kind of woman, like the Fox News newscaster kind of chick fires up my bacer, sexual impulses. Did you want to hate fucker though? Kind of, yeah. Well, but also it's like I want to make you drop the facade.
Yes. Yes. And I, she needs to be conquered. And exactly, exactly.
And I like, like if you could get a good proper, not like she's doing it like she still thinks there's a camera somewhere because she lives her whole life. Like there's a fucking camera somewhere. The actual like the shiver giggle after an orgasm, like where she has just completely lost her composure. That's a very appealing thought to me.
I just kind of hate Miss Piggy. Like it's not like I hate you so much. I want to fuck you. I just like you are such a dick to Kermit.
Kermit's a solid dude. He does he Kermit? He's a nice person. He's a dickhead.
He sucks. Okay. Thank you. Because he does.
But he's not a bad person. Agreed. He's a really good person. Agreed.
But he sucks. He does. Yeah. He's just too agreeable.
He's just shitty. He's lame. Like hanging out with him all day, but he's shut up. He's a cuck.
Yeah. Yes, he is. Wait, who cooks Kermit? I need to know.
Everybody has sex. Yeah. Yeah. I think Piggy has sex.
He ain't leaving either. No, exactly. She could fucking rub his nose in it. Yeah.
I mean, gonzo comes to mind. Yeah, true. That's like a fuzzy. She's got nose enough for both of them.
He'd watch everybody have sex. No. Fazzy's more like the guy who jerks off and watches at a gang thing. Nice.
Thank you. I'm sure I'm fired at it. I know what I know. I know what I know is muppet sex.
Yeah. Somebody's going to know it. I got kids, bro. I don't know how that counts, but OK.
OK. So I guess now we're talking about the female characters, because I think it's a very different story. I mean, OK, you wake up and Kermit's jerking off. I'm terrified.
I don't know why we're doing this, but we're doing it. I'm so scared of a muppet that is now alive, jerking off that broke into my house. There's something about his voice that makes me think he would give good head. I mean, he can't do it.
It's very like throaty. If he adds a throat. If he has a word, say he's alive. Well, obviously, it's not Jim Henson sitting in the corner.
Right. He's walking by himself. He's got a dick. Yeah.
So he's got to throw the eating shits. Yeah. Then yeah, then second, a muppet sucking off would be fucking good. Pretty great.