I film everybody to the 2026 Methans Watch competition. You're coming to you live from Los Angeles, California. Excitement is in the air. The bets are being placed, tension.
My own son, I brought to the office today to see his father become a champion. Two things are gonna happen today to my dear son who's watching so captivated to the show at the moment. Oh, buddy. He's either gonna see his father be a champion or he is gonna learn a valuable lesson in being a good, true sportsman.
Wow. Either way, I'm gonna make my son proud today. Either way, either way. Teddy has the day off for some reason, I don't know why.
Farmers day, shout out to the farmers. Farmers day, yeah. I don't know if you guys heard about Mr. Chavez, but we ain't doing that anymore.
The Farm labor hero? Yeah, of course. Yeah, no, well, you might, just, let me give you this way. The story broke like a week ago and they already wiped this holiday.
Right, like they didn't even give it a week. It's bad. But anyway, we're not here to talk about the disgrace Mr. Chavez.
We love the farmers. Where would we be without them? Yeah. I'll tell you where we'd be hungry.
Like my competitor here, David, who's hungry for a new watch, a beautiful watch. David, how are you feeling today? Obviously with the, oh yes, thank you to Mood by the way. And also, David, let me keep you on standby.
Thank you to Teddy Fresh, our spring sale. Just hit the market here. You can tell him about this. Teddy Fresh, what are you gonna find?
Oh, there's little bits of like, we have five of this dress in one size or 10 of this. So we decided to just kind of clear the house and give you guys a sale so you can, you know. You know what you were thinking of getting and you didn't get it. Now is your last chance?
Come see if it's in your size, you know what I mean? Get lucky with it. But yeah, nice, good prices over here. Teddy Fresh, I'm coming with something you like.
David. Yes. Now obviously the origin for this contest stems from our subathon. Yes.
There was a dunk tank, if you recall. I do. Well, you out threw me on all my minswords. There was a big difference though, that I was drunk and had nails.
So I've been telling myself, I think correctly, that given the conditions, if you had the same nails and were drunk, this would be, you would not be able to defeat me. Right. And David of course being the, being a good sport, he is. And obviously he has everything to gain.
I have nothing to gain. Right. Right. Well, wait.
In fact, we've formed a lot of this into a contest. Let me bring over a deal memo that I wrote up. Dodgers win last night, Zach. Oh yeah.
David was there. I was at the game. Yeah. Yeah.
Good game. Good game. Good game. You think just because you watched the baseball game, now you can throw ball.
Yeah. What is this? Disappeared. What is this?
This is a deal memo. All right. So here at the watch I was wearing in that day is a beautiful IWC engineer with a sea foam green dial guys. This is hardly worn, a gorgeous $15,000 watch.
Should we reveal it? Yes, please show the watch. Roll it. This is what's on the line today.
Any moment, Nate. Don't ruin the moment, Nate. Here we go. There it is guys with box and papers.
Here is the card. Here is the extra links. Extra links everybody. This is a full set.
This is what they call a full set. Yeah. The papers are in there, of course. It's all there guys.
IWC. What about IWC being one of the really high end watch brands. The market. Of course.
You see the best. One of the best. So, you know, and listen, thank Dan is kissing. I did not authorize him to be kissing the imagine kissing the hyphen trophy.
You're basically salt bay. What? Remember how it's all based? They kissed the hyphen trophy.
Not freaking not randos. Remember when salt bay went on the World Cup? The real thing, excuse me. You remember when salt bay was on the field and he kissed the World Cup?
Yeah. You remember that day? The only winner should kiss the cup. Cut to the overhead guys.
You could see it in nice lighting. It's a beautiful watch really. It's a gorgeous watch. It's something that any person would be thrilled to own.
Teddy has some thoughts about the prize. What's that, Lena? Teddy has some thoughts about the prize. Okay, go ahead, Teddy.
You want me to? He said if this was a Mr. Beast video, the prize would be bigger. Teddy, do I look like Mr.
Beast? Teddy, I'm so thrilled. I'm not Mr. Beast.
I'm Mr. Beast. I'm Mr. Beast.
Okay. I'm going to be here. I'm not. Let's tone it down.
Okay. Your dad is a Mr. Beast. Don't it down, kid.
All right. Pace yourself. Wow. Thank you.
I'm not Mr. Beast because I'm not prepared to give way more than this. Now I was beaten on that day and we set forth the conditions. Once again, if David can drink, he's got his margarita mix.
I do. Lena is here with her nuclear grades, NASA engineered adhesive to apply the nails in the same fashion. And we're going to replicate the conditions and proceed with the contest. We have lots of several phases lined up, the throwing contest to test our metal, test our career and to test most of all our accuracy.
I do want to point out during the Sub-Acon, I started saying I could probably hit the target on the dunk tank for you and everyone was like, shouldn't say that Ethan's the best at throwing. So I feel like if you really are the best at throwing, we could just do this without me drinking. I feel like me having to drink your arty admitting I'm a better thrower than I expected. David, what do you want to put on a boring show?
What are you in recovery? What's going on here? All right. It seems like you're already trying to make your always, already trying to get advantages here.
I can send to drinking. I just want to point out that under these metrics, it seems like you're already making a down with nails. I'm better at throwing. No, I still think I can win.
I just think if it was even, I'm going to be you. I agree. I mean, you're a good guy. I'm a good thrower than Ethan.
That's what he said. Well, you're up. You played baseball somewhat. I went not professionally.
No, no. How would you say amateur level? Yeah, yeah, recreational. And you were the pitcher, right?
I played third base. I played third base. You're a hero out to first. Yeah.
And very recently from what I learned. Yeah. Up until January of this year, I played. And David once told, I heard him once say that not many people have an arm to properly throw from third to first in the event of needing that pinch thrower.
But you have that arm. I do. Okay. I was born with it.
I don't need that practice. There's no practice. There's no professional or amateur credentials. All I know is that I fucking crush at Legoland.
Right, Teddy? I'll give it up. You remember? Three of those giant stuffies at Legoland?
One after the other? I got four. Four. Thank you, son.
Five. Thank you, son. My tail grows with each retelling. Fantastic.
We had an internal poll with the crew and extended family here. And it's currently tied between the two of you. That'd be so. I didn't know.
Oh. You voted for poll? Let me see who voted for what so I can pass judgment. I voted for the screenshot because it has people's phone number.
You want to read it off? Ethan's votes are, wait, tomorrow. I don't see your vote on you. I just said I had a vote again.
You're a mom. Is Ela, Galya, A-B and Ethan are voting for Ethan. I don't know if the Ethan counts. That shouldn't be allowed.
Oh, you're looking so just a note. David, Morgan, Nate and Kate. Kate? I didn't know my vote was going to be supposed like this.
She's sticking with her everywhere. Well, if you don't stand by it, Morgan, why vote at all? I mean, it's just that you're my boss and I don't know your vote. You want, I saw it.
I saw it in the chat. You think I didn't see it? I don't know. I thought maybe you were busy.
I voted immediately. I don't even notice. Me and David actually voted immediately. Well, Mom is just waiting for David tomorrow.
He's also waiting for Ethan. Thank you, Tamara. I voted earlier. I voted for Elle Parties Involved to have a fun time.
That's the truth. That wasn't an option. That wasn't an option, Dan. That was a lot.
That's a lot. Bad poll. Yeah, but in truth, listen, if you beat me, I'd love to see that. You're someone who will appreciate this, the heritage, the horology of it.
Yes, I know. The pedigree. The horology? The horology?
It's like, oh, yeah, we went out. It's technically correct. It's just, oh, it's a good word. No, horology.
I got it. I got it. I agree. I will point out.
Do you know when IWC was established? I don't know. Look it up. Google it.
I don't know. Do you want to hear my words? There was a poll that I put up before the show of who will win today's throwing con. We don't need to mention it.
That one is not nearly as close. Yeah, I know. They're probably going for David because a bunch of haters. Well, I tried to help you out because initially it was a bad poll.
I just put Ethan and David and I realized that doesn't explain the parameters. So the poll is actually sober Ethan versus drunk and press on nails. David is winning with 82% of the vote. Thank you.
I mean, that's fine. They obviously weren't at Legoland. They haven't seen what I'm capable of. I don't want to dare for the Legoland incident.
You've established this norm amongst yourself in the audience that is just funny and to shed on Ethan to constantly discredit him, to undermine him, to not appreciate his talents, his prestige, his pedigree. These are all just like IWC. What did you say about my mom? Nothing.
Be respectful, David. Well, we do. So here is the deal memo as it outlines here. I have not read this, so I'm going to have the initial.
We'll have the initial. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Contest. Ethan, David will participate in throwing contests on date time.
Nundar rules mutually agree by both parties. The contest will consist of three rounds. And overall, when it will be determined on a best of two out of three bases. If either party wins, the first two rounds, the contest immediately ends and no third round will be played.
If each party wins, one of the two rounds, a third round will be played as a tiebreaker. Clear so far? We all agree. All of these two layers.
Yes, yes. Each participant will throw 15 baseballs at three targets worth one, two, and three points respectively. If we can't see them. What's the issue?
Respectively. Does it not imply that we could see what is worth what? Yeah. What?
Where is it? I can't agree to this. I'm lost. In the contract, it doesn't spell out which targets one.
Respectfully. Respectfully. This is written badly. I apologize.
I should have included that detail. Morgan actually kindly put together a little presentation here. Maybe that will help elucidate things a little bit. It's all time time to ball.
David, look at that. Young, bright man with the future. How little did that child know that? Okay, well fix that.
It was all downhill from there. That was my first headshot. And why? I don't know.
I don't know. David, her school life. You might say those damn titties are alive. But it is literally David.
We can't see right now. We can't see it. It's talking about. But I was going to say the loser should make that where the girls were weak.
That's a win. That's true. So why don't you get another stat, don't we? Danny's going to open something.
Stand by. Stand by, please. You want me to open one that says don't show? It says yeah, don't show.
You want me to click that one? Sounds interesting. Here it is, it's ball time. Time to ball, folks.
And as you can see, it's David versus Goliath, a reference to my giant jugs. And beautiful, youthful David. What the hell? Ready to be discarding a sitcom of any very in good degree there.
David gets drunk and has nails if you want to have your first drink there. That's a big ass jug of margarita mix. Shout out Costco. That doesn't have alcohol in it.
It's already ready to go. Ready to go. One percentage is that. 13.
It's going to be drinking a little bit. 13. It's going to have to drink that whole thing. Or a couple.
David, you need scissors. 13%. That's one. Yeah, you're going to have to drink like a substantial amount of liquid to consume.
It's significantly more alcohol-provowing than beer. I wasn't drinking beer. I was drinking hard. Motherfucking liquor.
You were drinking a mixture of hard liquor. I drank very little beer, Dan. Mostly it was whiskey and vodka and soda water. I thought about this.
I can have this. But I trust you. I trust you. You got mezcal?
I think we have mezcal here. I mean, I have to completely up to David. I trust David. This is an honorable.
David's going to do it. We'll all see what's going on. I know when I feel fucking. You know what's happening right now?
This is just the margarita mix. No alcohol. He's going to pretend to be drunk. I did check it.
You did? Unironically I looked at the label. I was like, you see, this really does alcohol? Let's see.
You can smell it. You can smell it. It's good. It's good.
It's what we had for the frozen ones for the summertime. Can I take a look? Does it have nutritional and foam? I'm wondering how much sugar does it have on my own thing.
It's way too much. If I drink alcohol with sugar, I tend to just... Did you shake well? I didn't shake at all.
Okay, well, hold on now. It says shake well. So we're going to need you to dump that. Should we get the breath of life?
I don't... Dad said I apparently threw it against the wall and broke it. Don't remember that. I honestly don't.
I really don't. But it makes sense. Probably happen. I mean, it does sound like something that would happen.
Check that out. Okay, let's take a look here. David versus Elias. It's almost late.
She consequences mechanics. The participants steps over the line. They shall get a yellow card. As a penalty, they must stand an additional foot back for the remainder of the round.
The whole round? It could be like the next throw. No, no, no. Full round.
Listen, we're not going to be super crazy about it. If you blatantly take a full step over the line, you're getting pushed back. I would never. Jesus, this is pretty hard.
Further instances of cheating red card. Well, here's the thing. If David is all drunk and stepping over the line, I'm not going to disqualify him. You know?
Unless it's... That's the referee's job. Unless it's flagrant. It's my point.
I'm not going to win on a default. But apparently Morgan and Dan are the committee. Who Morgan by the way voted against me, which is questions her bias. Yeah, I'm biased.
Well, I mean you did vote against me. Yeah, that's it. And as I understand it, Morgan, you have Bet on Polymarket this morning. Who's going to win this?
I know. I did that on that. Yes. Unsponsored by the way.
You bet on anything. Round one. That's me right there. Which one the bunny in the bottom corner?
Both. Oh, you're cute. And fierce. Just like him.
Is that David a show here, Tony? I'm one of you and fierce. And a good start. Participants go one at a time aiming for the instruments provided.
Participants go one at a time. It literally just said that twice. Oops. Are you drawn?
Here. It gets the idea across. I'll be writing it in the morning. So we can see the 15th Rosie each.
GONG three points here. You can see it. Yeah. Cowbell two points.
Schoolbell. I'm not pictured. Yeah, but it's the smallest. It's very small.
I thought it would be reversed then. Oh yeah. She's got it backwards. Morgan, this is a disaster.
Sorry. I was like, we did it really quick this morning. Three. It's fine.
We get the idea. The gong is one point. Sorry. The gong is one point.
Teddy is correcting you guys. Well, we got to rewrite the contract. This is supposed to clarify. Yeah.
It's great. It's perfect. It's deliberately confusing. I'm glad there's a cute creature.
I can focus. And we're not talking about. We're not talking about Mal for the record right? There's nothing cute about that.
Oh, no, no, no. I wasn't even saying that. It's all consuming. He's got a great smile.
Keith, he does. He looks very nice and a great smile. But when that mouth chasms open, it's like the space worm from Star Wars. Yeah.
All consuming. You're in it. You don't even know. We're all in Keith's mouth right now.
Here we are. He's about to eat you right now. He's right above you. That's Keith.
Let's feed Keith guys. Each participant gets a bucket of food items. Whoever lands the most items in his mouth wins. Perfect.
And if by some chance of luck or fate brings us to around three sudden death, each participant will be armed. They'll be a flying drone. Whoever knocks it out of the air first. It's the golden snitch.
Essentially. It is. It undies everything before it. But it's like no, but it's actually makes sense.
It's being used as a tiebreaker rather than just trumping the whole rest of the game. What's that? Teddy right into the mic. Please if you want people to hear you.
The third round is you're using a drone. Yes. The one will be flying a drone. Remember the little one that we bought Bruce?
Yeah. Yes. The one you guys were shooting Nerf Arizona. I thought shoot it off.
It's the same one we bought it separately. Oh. Can I control it? That's not the love love.
You know. We need someone. No. We need Teddy as a we can do one afterwards where you control it.
For the contest we need someone. Love is changed for this. I'm thinking there's actually an opportunity for you to drive because we have multiple. We might have introduced some sort of a.
Maybe we could do both. Yeah. We could actually both play at the same time. Yeah.
Let's do Teddy afterwards and he can have his own moment. Yeah. Okay. Whoever hits it has to buy Teddy ice cream or something.
That's not like a good deal. Teddy wins either way. Also he wants you to know one more thing but he's too shy to say. Go ahead.
Do you want me to say it? He said that if he was able to vote he would vote for you. I love you son. I know you would.
I know you would. I know you would. I know you would. I know you would.
That's basically it. And we'll only do the drum thing. I guess I should clarify if it's needed as the tiebreaker. I think we'll do it for fun regardless because it sounds fun.
Okay. Fair enough. Good question. Whoa!
We have no tiebreaker. That we fight to the death. Yeah. I wasn't going to both hit it at the same time.
I'll do it. Okay. That's true. That's the tiebreaker for the tiebreaker.
I'll do it the tiebreaker for the tiebreaker. There. That's fair. Yeah.
And the event of a tiebreaker tiebreaker. Are you ready to sign? So we kind of collateral before the contest we designate one watchin Chain of Percil Collection we have done as collateral. It's not collateral it's.
I didn't know what to hold it whatever a whole lawyer. All right, fair enough He's not a lawyer the specific watch must be going on that if David wins They if David wins a throwing contest eat with transfer the green upon watch the David outright no conditions no restrictions or further obligations if Ethan wins David shall Cook it up. I get nothing I'll already I was trying to think of something funny, but Ethan will be recognized Conclusively and forever. Oh the best thrower in the office.
That is Yeah, that's cool with me. That's that's that's that's that's that's actually that's a billion year Contrace it's actually worth more than the watch it might be it might be over over David's handicap of course to replicate the original conditions when he defeated me and everybody laughed David's handicapped to replicate the conditions of Ethan's participation in the original throwing contest previously won by David David will complete Will compete subject to the following handicaps David must wear press on nails during the contest and David must be at least three drinks deep Well more but we'll talk Within the two hour period immediately to amend a contract with Penn you could cross that out and just put whatever you think I'll say I'm gonna amend this David. I'm gonna cross out. I'm gonna do a um a red line Yeah, three drinks and say drunk to Ethan's satisfaction Okay, that's pretty subjective.
It is entirely subjective Ethan's I'm a fair man. I'm a heart. I'm a I'm a firm But fair man, okay drunk to Ethan's satisfaction And I'm gonna need you to I'm initial next to that red line the next thing I mean, yeah agree Ethan client would be there's my signature You can do you have the initial next to that? Yeah, that's the amendment Okay, all right data, please.
Oh, yeah, and with your mother's name. It's right Right 27 27 and native's mom's made a name pin number right? All right, Lena tear file this away when I get a paper airplane as they do with all great contract Put this in the vault with my the home the deed to my home All right, so with all that being said and a gentleman's handshake Yep, so launch the contest and without further ado enjoy drink up be Mary. Yes, it's a fine day So fine day for ball.
J is J J is Perhaps a dark today. I am gonna be in charge after dark. I can't guarantee how well it's going to go Yeah, I'm still getting yahoo. What is the deal with that Teddy's crawling?
Oh Thank you Teddy the bar. I think he's actually our designated ball boy today. He's a bad You want to pop up. Thank you, sir.
He returned it. Thank you Teddy return Hey, I'm here. Can you give this to Lena, please? Thank you sir.
I'm still getting yahoo for pizza safe man. I thought I already got rid of that yesterday You know they we got a new laptop and they preloaded it with Yahoo search engine. Oh Give me a fucking break. Oh my goodness and less importantly, but also important Tom's birthday I Do we get some snaps or treats for you?
Yeah, I'll do in the chat bring me a nice watch you asked me on the show I said cash and watches so do or we can do that reveal as you're growing arm game not that good Well, I'm not well then you just happen. It's the only time I give watches away. It's Tom's birthday and he tried to buy me lunch What a guy no Tom do you do you want to be a little older? What do you want?
This is it could be you know hey Teddy. I got your back. How about ice cream? That's a big that big smile says yes.
I look at that smile. Let's go make ice cream for lunch. I just can't for lunch birthday We could do whatever we want. I was I was I think I think I know I introduced Tom to Teddy as my grandfather Teddy can I ask you a question?
Look at Tom and then look at me and you tell me just who do you believe is older me or Tom? Tom very good. Thank you son. I love you.
Teddy no ice cream You're a good man. Teddy. I've raised a good man. We're getting cold smart perceptive man.
Oh, I said it's wrong Can you call me mom and go? I love him matter what you know? I mean I know he speaks to the truth if he said Tom I would accept the truth. Yeah, he doesn't like it.
So do you want ice cream Teddy? Yeah, let's go What flavor ice cream you get Tom? It depends where we go. I'm a mid-shock with you guy.
That's right here. Are you? Hey Teddy you recognize this voice? And it became my favorite that You recognize that voice?
I'm glad I got one smart. When you were like sunny's age You heard daddy say it one time and then you came to our ear. No, he created a roll right? You crawled right into my face like this and you said daddy daddy what that and you said the effort that you're not supposed to say When you were sunny's age and you thought it was so funny.
We were all laughing And I reported it and then you kept doing it Obviously you know you can't say that word Teddy knows his father has a party mouth, but Teddy knows what he can and cannot say yeah He would never right? Yeah, well that will nothing we can do about the past. Mm-hmm can't change the party I'm even saying it in front of me That's a really good question. It's not it's not a good habit.
I don't believe in shielding my children from the harsh realities of the world You know, I mean, you see it you hear it. We're different. No, you can't say it. I don't curse at all Honestly, I try not cursing for a while.
It doesn't work. I'm the same way But they know if they know they know they know Teddy doesn't use foul language. Yeah, you and H3 swear jar I need a little more money today. Oh I'll have to bring in you know that those quarter rolls yeah inside there was what looked to be a quarter But was actually a coin from another country what what?
I'm telling you I'm telling you I bring it I was like what the hell where to get those quarters Lena what country straight from the Yeah I mean No, I mean Crazy though, what kind of thing is going on there 25 cents a million. I mean what's the day no mistakes? We should sue How are the court are the quarters lasting you tomorrow? I mean, yeah, but they're going It's not lasting as long as I thought it would but they never do they never do oh wait tomorrow I'm gonna give you a Canadian quarter.
No, that's not I was in the role. No, I'm saying it was in the role That's please that's fucked up. What country was it? I've no what are you saying?
You want me to give you a quarter? No, no, this is about I will bring in the quarter that was not a quarter. I don't even know what it was what the hell it's almost seeming the bank Well, there it is That's disappointing to hear guys review what and like you can't even review because I give it to you in these roles You trust the bank. Yeah, yeah, you do that's like getting a $10,000 stack in the middle of one.
Yeah, yeah, that's like I'll be psycho Be on unheard of and so we have a possible actually Just to break away here. We have a Lena applying Beginning the process here Lena I'm buying the nails. Wow now. This is gonna replicate, right?
We're not these are gonna be just as big just as long You want to look at it? No, I try. I'm not I trust you same length and everything same everything. Let me see your nail beds David Okay, I mean, okay.
Okay. See better. Not me My own oh and where I had time oh look at that wouldn't that wouldn't that be interesting? So so and Lena you'll be using the same adhesive, right?
Yeah, and one thing I noticed you did which I think made it that nails so irremovable is you sanded the nail ahead of time So you'll do that as well, right? Yeah, I know I see I noticed yeah sand the nail ahead of time, please Yes, that makes the adhesive. I believe that's what made the adhesive nuclear It was really crazy to get it off like I could never leave you my watch. She's got to suffer.
I hate this feeling by the way It doesn't feel good. I like you get you can shivers through my body. Oh really? Yeah, same conditions, Lena.
Thank you. All right, let's thank our sponsor Who's excited though? I mean electricity is in the air. I'm excited.
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Which one's Morpheus of us? That's a good question. I guess you would be Morpheus. I'll take a few more seasons, but not as good Less it less latent talent but more experience.
I think that's a perfect thing. I'll take it. Yeah Fantastic. All right.
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We do Um What's going on over there? Uh, this is all kinds of commotion What are we laughing at? What's so funny? What Nothing What's going in the background?
He's got a good eye going to be my background today. Yeah, you know He's got a great eye. I know he's in the Pokemon What? What is that?