Beware ”ants” of caregiving. Farmer looks at Ant nests

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) "Go to the ANT, thou sluggard!" Solomon declares in Proverbs, for it is diligent, works hard without being told what to do, and lays up for winter its over-production during warm days of Summer. The ant perfectly models the bee and beehive (also spoken of highly in Bible for industry). But, BEWARE walking onto a nest of ants. Ouch!  The field ant is half-inch long, 100K live in a typical colony, headed by 1 queen who lays 1000s eggs/day, all work is done by female worker bees, and men are useless save for mating then dying. It is interesting, the queen lives for 30 years, but secretes a pheromone that kills her subservient female worker bees in, say, 30-days. Not fair, no?  Field ants have an incredibly interesting mutually symbiotic relationship with aphids--which they care for and shepherd, protecting them from other, worse, predators--while also living off them, eating them, and so forth. I find field ant nests fascinating. I can look at them for hours (did you know there can be miles of tunnels dug deep inside them, in pitch black, which lead perfectly from important areas to important areas. Ants have been "preppers" for centuries! LOL But as fascinating as field ant nests can be to study, you dont want to step on them--just ask my adult dogs which do the Indiana Hot-Foot dance each time they come upon them. It is like this in caregiving--the nest has been there a long time, but below surface, where we do not see it. Or, more likely where we pretended to not see it, while living in our own state of denial. But when we are standing direct on top of it--THEN we see it.  So, what are the ant nests of caregiving? I sense 5: the initial triggering event that forces us to finally, finally see that mom needs help, or that someone has to do something to help dear ol dad. This triggering event has probably been coming for months or years, but now that we are standing right in middle of it, now we open our eyes to see it (tho many around us still dont).  Second triggering event is the fall of mom or dad, literally. See my podcasts on how to fall-proof your house. It is the NUMBER ONE thing you can do today to love your care receiver--remove trip hazards inside/outside their home.  Third, family fissures. Cracks hidden below makeup and fake smiles, which now cannot be hidden. You will be surprised how negatively powerful these eruptions can be. BOOM! The marriage is over; Siblings square off; parent-child dynamics degenerate.  Fourth, the cost to care for another quickly adds up. Upwards of $8K/yr to avg caregiver, tho actual cost much higher.  Take heart, while ant nests are real-and hurt-they are not ultimate. For just as ant nest can be as big as 4' across--this is nothing compared to my 20-acres that surround it. So while this ant nest is real you face, it is not ultimate. You will get across it, if you keep your head, and heart, and take the next step (albeit quickly).  Take heart, friends. Consider the Ant--just dont step on them!!