Biblical Womanhood or Just Unhinged? Our Instagram Doomscroll Disaster

We kicked off thinking we'd just lightly roast some overly polished Christian mom influencers, but oh boy, did the Instagram algorithm have other plans. We got stuck in a tradwife/biblical womanhood rabbit hole...SJ with a fresh fake profile starting from "stay-at-home mommy" searches, Kay with her own personal one tainted by years of smut and chaos, and surfaced with everything from homemade Cheez-Its superiority complexes to free birth horror stories, egg socks as fever cures, and Pearly Things casually dropping "whore" like it's punctuation. We unpack the weird one-sided "touch your husband" advice, the obsession with legacy-building through whimsical lunches, the anti-science vibes, and why we're so grateful we spent our 20s dating around, traveling, and making selfish choices instead of delivering babies in the woods. Grab a cocktail (or a tiki drink courtesy of a supportive husband), because this one's a wild ride through the shiny, scary side of mommy internet. Not the worst girls podcast, but definitely not trad.