Birth Mother Matters in Adoption 13: Grief & Loss in Adoption Adoptive Families

Birth Mother Matters in Adoption 13: Grief & Loss in Adoption Part 2 of 3: Adoptive Families Adoptive parents may experience grief and loss to some degree both before, during and after the adoption process.  Understand that with adoption comes change; people deal with change in different ways; some easily acclimate to change, while others take time and may experience grief.   Adding a a new family member can take time, effort, acceptance and sometimes outside assistance may be helpful.  Change can be difficult and everyone deals with it differently. Resources for adoptive parents are more readily available now than 50 years ago.  Learn about resources that are available to you. Not all adoptive parents adopt because they cannot biologically have children.  However, for those individuals that cannot biologcally conceive have to let go of one dream to begin another.  Letting go of a dream of bearing your own biological children is a loss.  It is important to resolve issues surrounding the loss  of this dream before starting an adoption plan.   Remember, taking a different route in life isn’t always easy and may not have been your original plan or dream.  Adoption most likely is not the road your child’s birth mother's first choice either..  Adoption shouldn’t be looked at as plan b, it should be viewed as journey to parenthood, a blessing.  Life often reminds us that when one door closes another door opens.  Thankfully, life affords us opportunities and adoption is an opportunity to become a mother or father.   “We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell