Birth Mother Matters in Adoption #45: Love & Loss in Adopt Reunification Part 2

Birth Mother Matters in Adoption #45: Love & Loss in Adopt Reunification Part 2 I met my biological mother in 2007.  I spent about 6 months prior to our reunification; filing a court petition to open my closed adoption, to be able to retrieve my adoption records in the hopes of finding my biological mother.  During this process, I learned that there are always highs and lows; things you find out that you never knew.   Upon receiving my original birth certificate, I learned that my biological mother had not named me; so I was listed as “Baby Girl Evans.”  Additionally, no birth father was named.  My birth mothers name was on the birth certificate but it still took me a few weeks to find her; I learned she has been married and divorced multiple times which meant her name kept changing.  Little did I know that she was living in the same neighborhood she lived in when she was pregnant with me; she wanted to make it easier for me to find her.  All along I was thinking; do we have the right person, what if…what if….?  Emotions experienced included: GuiltExcitementConfusionCuriosity Uncertainty Shock Denial What I have learned: Its okay to do things in your own time.Don’t let others make you feel guilty; they haven’t walked your life journey (guy in airport condemned me for not telling my adoptive parents.)Learning your biological history doesn’t change the person you are, it only adds more layersAllow everyone to reach the acceptance stage in their own timeSome months you may have more contact than others and that’s okay and that doesn’t mean you aren’t as close or that something is wrong