This is a global player original podcast. Hi, it's Katie. And Sam. And welcome to this Biteside episode of You're Wrong about ADHD.
Today we're going to talk to a great friend of the podcast, someone who's been really supportive to us actually, Dr Tony Lloyd from ADHD Foundation, discussing the best strategies to improve concentration and memory. It's extraordinary to think back to this conversation and to how we both felt because it was so early on in the podcast, wasn't it? And he was probably the first person to really properly explain ADHD to me in a way I understood. He broke it down into simple steps and blocks of information and was so generous and open in the process.
Let's hear from Tony. I found out in August 29, long before you could get a diagnosis as an adult. So I learned all kinds of quirky strategies to help me. So take us through some of them.
Well, I mean, apart from I have multiple reminders and like a lot of people they do, I'm a very visual thinker. So I would have to read a document that was 20 pages long. I would convert it into a one-page infographic because I remember images better and that my cue dependent memory then I would be able to record what was in that document from an infographic, for example. When we hyper focus, when we are really focusing on something, it goes into long-term memory.
If we're not hyper focusing on it, we forget it. So it's important really particularly when you're young that if you do need to learn something important, particularly if it's not something that you find particularly interesting, repetition, revision, review are really important. It's always really important for me that every lesson, including university, I had to review what I'd done in the last lesson so I could connect the learning as I was going along without that. I would find something and I can't remember what it relates to because I can't remember what I learned in the lesson last week or what we covered at work in the meeting last week.
It's really important that you have strategies that can help you remember information in ways that work for you and if it's not just to do lists or reminders, sometimes things like infographics are really helpful. Being, I mean, you know, sort of vocalizing. I talk to myself sometimes when I'm busy on a task, I just might pee a notch because she's saying, what are you saying? I'm not talking to you, Pauline.
It's all right. I'm talking to myself. So things like that. I think also as well for me, there is, I have this particular discipline about being a complete ephesia.
So even if I find something boring, even if I'm reading a book that's really boring, I'm almost obsessive. Well, I've got to finish it. It's a good attempt to do it. I have to do it.
I have to make myself do it. It's a real discipline that I kind of impose on myself because otherwise, you can't go through life not completing tasks. Don't get me wrong, there are still some things I do. You want to see me when I'm cleaning the apartment.
Well, the vocalization thing is really interesting because, say, for instance, when I'm doing housework, if I have to line up a couple of tasks and I can never make it more than three, it's more than three tasks, I'll have forgotten what the rest of them are. I will have to say out loud to myself, well, if I'm doing this now, I have to do that next, and I have to say it a number of times, so that when I do this, that that is in my head. Because if I haven't said it out loud, I will have forgotten. And growing up, my mother always used to say to me when you leave a place, always look back, and I now say that out loud when I was in Bristol earlier this week with one of my sons, we left a cafe and I said out loud, always look back because that's when you discover that you left your bag under the table or left your car keys on the cafe table or whatever.
And it's about having, and again, I have to leave the house, leaving the house. I say the word as I'm closing the front door, keys, because I have to touch the keys and check out them. And these are things that's taken me years to learn. But I have to use those strategies in order not to leave the keys.
Locking yourself out from your own home can be very, very stressful. You know, like I said, I have to do lists on the door. Sometimes I use voice memos to send myself to read myself. I'm actually sometimes I use Alexa, for example, in the morning, which I've programmed to remind me that there are things I've got to remember before I leave the house.
And again, sometimes it is about also relying on other people that I work with to say, will you make sure that I've completed that? Or they've asked me for something or they say, you know, can we meet? And I say, okay, please go in my calendar, look at where there's a slot, put a request in for a meeting because I'll probably forget. So I think the thing to remember is we're very good at multitasking, but multitasking is a sort of working memory kind of function, which we're often very good at.
But often then if it's not hyper focused, it doesn't go into long-term memory. And this is all part of what we call executive functioning skills. So anybody who's got ADHD needs to look at what are executive functioning skills, because they all interlinked that ability to focus, remember, and plan and organize. If you can't really sustain attention, you're not going to be very good at planning and organizing.
I have so many people with ADHD who said, oh, I never read the instructions for anything. And one of those people, I'm a hands-on learner, where I'm a jack-of-all-trades and ace at Narn because that's what it feels like sometimes to be ADHD. And I can relate to that. I can remember having a VHS recorder that was never tuned in and they've become obsolete before.
Before we ever learn how to use the bloody thing. So, you know, again, I think that that's the thing, isn't it? If executive functioning skills are about that, planning, organizing, self-monitoring, self-regulating, almost being present with yourself in the moment and checking in with yourself, because people talk about ADHD, hyperactive, you're kind of always on the front foot, it's always whatever got to do next. And sometimes you do need to remind yourself, no, just stop.
Take a breath. Sent to yourself. Are you okay to yourself? What do you need?
What does it you've got to do? Think carefully now. If you need to, I sent myself text messages and everything. Hey, no, no, no.
Yeah. Whatever works for you. When you talk about the instructions there and people not really instructions, the word that keeps coming to me is impatience. How much?
Yes. Part of this is impatience. Because a big thing in my relationship with my wife that we've had to sort of, you know, learn to get to grips with is about me interrupting. Me saying, I know what you're going to say.
We've got to get on with this. So, I'm not going to wait until the end of the sentence. What does it say? Can I just say?
Can I just say? Yeah, he's taken to saying, you don't know what I'm about to say. Can you let me finish the sentence? That's a mad.
I mean, that's impulsivity. And again, this is where I think, you know, we can talk about the three core characteristics of ADHD as separate entities, but really they all weigh together in this amazing triad, if you like. And it's not so much the, what comes across as impulsive, you're interrupting people. He's often about, you've remembered that you, there's something that you need to share in terms of information and it just comes out straight away.
So it might appear that you're interrupting somebody and you're being rude and inconsiderate. It's not that. It's just, and then if you do hold back, then you've forgotten what it was. You were just afraid of it.
Exactly. That's why you have to say it. Get it out of your head. Always having a pen and a paper.
And then if you have a thought, you can write it down and then find an appropriate time to say, well, actually what you said before, as made me think of this. The other strategy that I've employed is actually to say to myself, what's more important in this situation? Do you know what? If I forget this, maybe that's better than upsetting my wife.
Not always the case, but there are occasions. Sometimes it's weird. Sometimes it's weird. But it may be that you have to sort of say, well, maybe I don't need to be so afraid of forgetting this or getting this done or actually getting my say out.
Maybe I just have to accept the possibility that I'm going to forget. I think really, you know, I mean, I get that. You know, we all get home and get away from a busy day at work. And I don't know about you, but it takes me about an hour to defrag.
Oh, absolutely. So anything that my partner might say for me for the first hour that I get home, it's a cursory. If knowledgement, it will be all right. Yeah.
Okay. Call out. I'll, but I've not heard it at all. It almost takes me an hour to refract and be present and available to the most important person in my life.
So your inattention, I think, is always influenced by cognitive overload as well. And that's why I think it's really important during the day that you do take a break and I don't mean half an hour. It can just be five minutes where you go and stand outside and just have five minutes mindfulness kind of breathe just to kind of help you stay attentive. You do need that.
And, you know, I kind of, a lot of people know this little bench at the back of the office that sometimes I just kind of, they know I'm refracting. Like, because you can only absorb so much information at any one time. And if that information sometimes is something that creates some kind of a motive response from you, whether it's excitement or sadness or whatever it is, you then start processing all kinds of things, not just in an intellectual way, but in terms of your relationship. That's really colleagues at home.
You know, we're, as they were a relationship driven sort of species, aren't we? And it's not always just about facts. It's how we connect those with our values and our relationships and our sense of who we are as a kind, considerate person or not or how do we come across. So lovely to hear that chat with Dr.
Tony once again, the most brilliantly generous and kind explanation of what ADHD is. If you enjoyed listening to this bite-sized episode and want more, you can find the full episode linked in the show notes or many more episodes like this one on the podcast feed. And if you want to keep up to date with everything we're doing, do check us out on Instagram and TikTok. Just search your wrong about ADHD on your socials.
Thank you so much for listening and we'll see you again soon. Your wrong about ADHD is made in association with Apex content ventures. This is a Global Player Original Podcast.