Welcome to the Tweets Trends podcast. Hey, Evette, what's trending today? Hey, I'm Evette, hey girl, and you are tuned in to Tweets Trends. It's the quickest way to find out what's trending today.
Today, let's talk about the blessings in a breakup. Let's get started. Hello, and welcome back to Tweets Trends. Today's episode is for anyone who's ever experienced a breakup.
Maybe you just recently experienced one, or maybe you know somebody that's going through a breakup. This is for you. Now, if you've never ever experienced a breakup, a little bit longer. And don't be so specific on what a breakup is, because all breakups aren't between boyfriends and girlfriends.
All breakups are not between significant others. Don Lemon and Tucker Carlson just experienced a breakup. They had a relationship with their employer, and they've since parted ways. That's a breakup.
So once again, if you have never experienced a breakup, a little bit, you will. I guarantee it. Now, I'm not trying to put that on you, but I'm just saying. Everybody at some point in their life will experience some type of a breakup.
It's a part of life. Now, the thing about a breakup though, you don't have to look at it as if it's doom and gloom, because what I'm saying today is that in every breakup, there is a blessing. Now, you may not be able to amen on that right now. You may not be tracking.
You might not. You just like, no, you're wrong. You're wrong. There's no way.
Let me tell you this story. It was awful. Let me tell you again, in every breakup, there is a blessing. You just have to tune your eyes and ears, all of your senses into a different frequency.
You can't be tuned into doom and gloom FM, and think that you're going to be able to identify what that blessing is. You have to rise up. You have to move beyond that grief, and then, and only then, will you be able to identify the blessings. Now, once again, you may not be buying this right now.
But I believe that by the end of today's episode, you're going to believe that in every breakup, there is a blessing. Although in our first section, I did mention an employment breakup, we're going to focus on relationship breakups though for this episode. We can go to employment on another day. In a relationship, there are two sides, especially in a breakup.
You have the person that initiates the breakup, and then you have the other person that's the recipient of the bad news, or what they'd like to believe is bad news. Now, if you are the person that is initiating the breakup, then you kind of have to go back and have a slightly upper hand over the other person. And I say this because you got to a point where you said no more. There was something about this relationship that was not serving you, and you said, I am not going to, and then you had your laundry list of things of what you weren't going to do.
You're not going to chase this person. You're not going to try to change them. You're not going to continue to put up with the attitude, with the abuse, with the whatever. You said, nope, not today, not anymore.
I'm done. And in that, it's still going to sting a little bit because you've been used to being in a relationship with that person. So you may get a little Vanessa Williams and you feel like you need to go running back, but pump your breaks, pull yourself together, and remember that there were reasons why you walked away from that relationship. Once you get over that grieving stage, and you come back to that main list of reasons why that this was not going to work out anymore, then you can start looking at the silver lining in that dark cloud.
Silver lining first and foremost is that you had the strength to tell that person no more. That right there is enough foreshout queue. You can go ahead and do a little two step to that one. You had the strength to say no more and walk away.
That's a blessing. Everybody can't do that. Everybody doesn't want to do that. There are people out there that are dependent on other people, and because they are so dependent on them that they'll put up with the nonsense, they'll put up with the abuse.
They'll put up with so much mess. But you said no, not me. So in that, you have the blessing of strength. In that strength, you now have an opportunity for growth and self discovery.
You've already started the self discovery because you started to create your list of non-negotiables, because then when you go from this relationship to the next one, going into it, you know what you will and won't put up with. That's a blessing because that's going to save you some time. Because if you notice these things in the early stages of just meeting a person and interacting with a person, you notice, dear, clear, nope, that's what we ain't going to. We're not doing that right there.
So if they don't see a need to be different or do better or whatever, you can walk away from that early and save yourself the time in the headache. If you are the person that's receiving the information about the breakup, then it's going to hit you a little bit harder. It's going to be a little bit tougher, but there's still blessings within it because in my opinion, the fact that they broke up with you, that's a blessing. Hello, that's a blessing.
Because there was something wrong with the relationship and they weren't seeing where the two of you were compatible and rather than to lie to you or to string you along, they cut you loose. So that's a blessing. Your time is not being wasted anymore. Now you may feel some type of way.
It may stir up old wounds and beliefs about yourself, but we got to put things in perspective. This is one person that's breaking up with you. Even if you've been in 10 other relationships before, this one and all 10 of them broke up with you, that's a little bit of 11 people. How many people are on this earth?
Exactly. That's a drop in the bucket. There are so many people out there that would love to be in a relationship with you. You just haven't found the right person yet and that's okay.
Until you do, you need to take care of your mental. You need to take care of your physical. Ask yourself those questions. Learn about yourself all over again because you may have lost yourself in that last relationship.
Maybe you saw some stuff and were like, Oh gosh, maybe if I don't change this, they might leave me. Well, now that you're out of it, revisit those things. Was it a bad thing? Was it a good thing that they just didn't like?
Who you are and how you want to move in this life. And when you do that, know it and honor it. Don't let somebody cause you to change who you are because you are so just bent on being with them. That's a no-go.
That is not a recipe for happily ever after. So don't lie to yourself and tell you all those bad stories. Oh, I'm a bad person. I'm a bad person.
I'm a bad person. I'm a bad person. Now there's that other lane too. If you maybe cheated on this person or did something egregious to the point where they're like, no, not doing that, well, you have to own up to what your role in this whole breakup is.
And if that person doesn't want to be with you, you know, don't try to now go run back and big and plead, you know, no keeps wetting. You're not doing that. Keep it moving. But identify who you are.
If you are this polyamorous person and you know that you can't be with just one person, then practice the right way. Let the people know what you're doing, when you're doing it, why you're doing it. And let them make that decision if they want to be a part of that. Don't take away that from them because then when you go out and do your dirt and end up bringing back diseases and stuff like that, now you've taken away their ability when you pass those things on to them.
That's not, that's not cool. That's not cool at all. But that's completely different, different, different lane. Let's get back in the other lane.
You didn't do anything, but the person broke up with you. That's a blessing. They let you go. Get to know yourself again.
Now you can learn what your non-negotiables are for your next relationship. Give yourself the time to heal. You know, don't rush back into a relationship because you're so used to being with somebody, you don't know what to do with yourself. You got too much time on your hands.
Read books. Get a hobby. Do something else other than thinking about trying to find another relationship to jump into. If you are feeling like that, then we need to get you some other kind of help because it shouldn't be like that.
Will you be sad? Yes, you're going to be sad. That's okay. It's okay to be sad.
But look at the situation for what it is. And if the other person is breaking up with you, there's that blessing. Thanks so much for joining me for today's episode. I hope you enjoyed it.
And I hope you also agree with me now that there's a blessing in the breakup. As long as you're not looking at that breakup as a beatdown and instead looking at it as a boost up, then you'll be able to see the blessings. They're all over the place. But you have to look at it from a different standpoint.
You can't be looking at it through your grief eyes. So get through your grief period. More on that loss. Do what you need to do.
Sit down. You can't do this mistake. Learn from them. But as soon as you get done with that, move up, move on.
Because once we learn those lessons, we can use it to build healthier connections with other people in the future. But as long as you're holding on to that old stuff, you're going to keep drawing that same type of energy to yourself. And you don't want that. Use the breakup as an opportunity.
Use it for growth. Use it for self-discovery. Determine what your non-negotiables are. And you'll realize that that person did you a favor.
Or you'll realize how strong you really are because you were able to initiate that breakup. Okay? Cheer up. It's going to be all right.
I promise. You know what to find me. Twitter and Instagram at heveve. That's at h-y-v-e-t-t-e.
Or just look for the hashtag tweet trends. And if it's not going okay, shoot me a message and we'll chat. You know, I got more where this came from. All right?
Enjoy your day. And I'll see you guys back here again tomorrow.