Hey everybody, Bobby Lee here and I'm very excited because I'm shooting my first special January 16th, 2026 January 17th 2026 and it's at the San Diego Balboa Theater If somebody asked you hey, what did you have for breakfast? I said, oh I have frozen waffles. What's your first thought? If you ate frozen waffles for breakfast, what do you think it was?
I'm sure that was delicious But what is what is what frozen waffles? What is frozen waffles? I know he's talking with this question earlier Don't say anything. I'm Bob the same question.
It's frozen waffles. What is this? Oh, that's Alia's dog Luna She's friendly. Hi, baby girl You okay?
Where are you rushing from? Restaurant. I know it's working. Did you shave?
Yeah, your whole face look like blue. Yeah, you look like a blue person. Oh, I look like a Yeah, yeah, so you know who's a judge or here? Let me see what she's talking about.
There's a wall of glue in here I was confused about what that is for I'm obsessed with glue. Okay. Everyone has a little fix. So that's so you were It was me.
I love you. I think we're being here. I just found out the calm that's on the side of the mouth. It is calm.
You know what once a day I go eat my own Got run out of protein. I'm happy Kate. I'm surprised I can reach your mouth. It's very impressive No, I have transport.
I transport it from my head anyway. Let's move on. Okay. Yeah, we get thank you.
I love Leah's Mountain, I love pleasure. I mean, yeah, thank you. You don't get one. You don't get one.
You said do this Biggest real hair so I can actually use the headphones. Do I need to? You don't have to. Okay.
What? Yeah, unless you want to hear his musical I mean what is your problem? Oh for for my god, you're like fucking junkie. Like let me have my damn babe.
Okay, Miss Chiang 12 Step it over here. Let's go. Yeah, good enough for me. You can hit a bobby if you want.
Okay. Thank you. You're welcome Bobby Has no lips what are your lips of them? Look at yours Look at yours.
Yeah, it's always the same thing. It's either my lips are too big or everyone else is lips too thin Like it's your projection first of all What's about what? You open your eyes when you speak Okay, be respectful. Yeah, sorry.
All right. I'm so sorry. It's like basically the same I think they might have more top lip than you do actually our bottom lips are the same What do we do with the top lip? I think I beat you on that.
It's okay, but I came in so agro. It's all right Bobby You actually you look thin doesn't he? Oh, oh well, it's oh It's oh wait is that better? I feel like we have some to give them a run of water.
Oh, thank you. I give a shower today. I feel good. Yeah, yeah a shower A shower about it.
We're like, yeah, stop. I take showers. Por favor. How often okay every night.
He's my late night I'm in a morning shower. I do like nighttime and there's a guy in there behind you me you spread the cheeks and make sure the water runs Thoroughly no guy in there behind you fucking your butt When you take a shower there's a guy having gay sex with your body in there Right who's being aggressive? Are you implying that I'm gay? That says what?
Cheers sis. Cheers to the freaking weekend. We're never gonna die. We know each other before this or no.
We've met before. Yeah, I Understand yes, when I think we were both drunk as a skunk We had which was like rowdy in the brain room one time was I talking about like how I hate white women and my mom is a bitch or something I think we were actually a daddy issues conversation that sounds right But my daddy issues conversations on last long because he wasn't around that long right even be upset The thing with me is me neither, but I always uncover mysteries as I go along. Yeah, I feel that um yeah I don't know and we haven't met but I that's we I just don't there's so many white women that do comedy with a haircut And I just there's many of us many and you're but you're different you're cooler one because you're every she's a black air force She's having a nigga energy today. Yeah, I've been called soulful.
Yeah. Yeah, the skirt says nigga with the shoes say fucking yeah She's a ally. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, you're like Matilda like the Matilda like at the all black school right?
Yeah, like if Matilda went to all black and that did actually happen to me really yeah I did go to an I was the only autistic person in an all black school where you autistic are just like talking too much I Think that being the only white person in an all black school made me more autistic I was when I came in onto the premises like I was gonna wash dreams no wash three straight class I kept my head down black and I had bangs then to imagine being the only white girl at your school the only girl Bangs your school and the only Jewish girl at your school and everybody else is black or Mexican I came home with a mom picked me up from school and she was like and I was like I'm finna eat a snack when I get home And she was like what did you just say to me and I was like I'm finna eat a snack when I She was like it doesn't sound right coming out of your mouth It's like that you get a basketball player. We were taught we were taught Finno along with the alphabet So yes, and that's one of them. That's very black and Mexican. Yeah, it made my life better.
Yeah, don't know You all have fit. No, we have fit not that's just kind of the correlation I'm witnessing anything and you know what you have any astute up to I'll tell you this I don't like it Yeah, this is United Colours of Benetton at the sucking table. Yeah, we do have everybody It was huge in the Philippines. They're bringing it back.
I think Benetton United Colours of Benetton. Yeah, I do It was a good store. You know what I mean? I got sweatpants there.
Yeah. Yeah, you can get mono color like the same color It's blank shirts. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's right.
I've I've you woke Are you having a panic attack? I'm observing I'm present What's going on here? Come on the top right of your I don't want to tell you cuz I don't like helping men But I just want to let you know it's it's there Yeah, it's right. I'm not sure if you know what you know which one it was okay I was shooting prosthetics on my face and oh, he's brag.
Okay, Mrs. Del Fire pop off I'll show you what it look like. Oh, yeah, girl. I'll show us okay, girl.
Is that shellac all your nails? This is what I look like three minutes ago. Who's that woman next to you? My name is cat bird.
What a cute dog. That's my Luna pick her up pick up as your dog. Wow again. Don't eat her But just pick her up and make her your friend.
She's great. She's always sweet Luna. Shut up. She's perfect On the same bed with Luna.
No, I'm black. We don't do that. Okay. What do you do?
I put her you put him in a cage She does fights, I was trying to do a bit, but yeah, yeah Yeah, big talented Michael vid Athlete yeah the generous and kind Michael vid yeah, no, I have absolutely you're saying that black people don't sleep with their dogs No, what do you do with them? You don't have them in the bed. We don't do you do mouth kisses absolute We don't do the shit everything you do. We don't do all right.
We don't fuck them. We don't put them Out of them We don't never make fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we don't do that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah We get a real cute girl thing right? Oh for sure. It's I am only just now in my adulthood learning how to be a friend to animals I have classically like had the story in my head that I am bad We all said that they like energetically don't like me I had a cat in like one of the last departments that I lived in and I was the only one that stayed in New York for Christmas And I had to take care of the cat for a week and it sat on like the dining room table We made a contact and I looked at it and went I will never know you and then it just never touched me ever again You said that to the cat I said I will never know you to the cat and it understood.
Yeah, but now I'm trying to be nicer Animals you don't need to be oh obviously she wasn't a good dog to the to the to the pound She's very good. She's very well-behaved and quiet. Thank you. You cuz why I have your dog To do what what what what cause what for what oh for money I'm like how much money would I have to give you to get a little on set?
He's like that cuz I have four dogs You know I love dogs. You're too many. Yeah. Yeah, that's so many.
I want property if I give you a hundred I want property. I'll give you a thirty square. I want she's in need of a car I want that bigger. I want property.
Okay, where I don't Don't send her to Idaho. I don't have people like her and I don't have it never talented not at all Not at all. I didn't mean talented. Okay, which we mean I think she meant black Mexicans.
That's what I thought I was like What? Mexican's at Idaho. They have Mexican's in Idaho. Where they come from?
Yeah, what is Idaho? It's a state Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a state. I'm a fucking dog. You can babysitter.
Yeah, I'll be with you. Hey, what's going on? You live in New York. I live in New York.
I do. Yeah, it's funny. I'm your friends with Yamaneeka. Yeah, manika.
Yeah, relax I love her but I don't disrespect her name. Yamanika's great. All the streets Yamanika Yamanika's fucking fantastic Yamaneeka. Yeah, she's dope.
She's great. She's fucking keeping everything together up there. Yeah, she's on a fucker way. No, no I've been moving with her last year and I'm not with her for like a month.
Yeah, okay. How did you feel? Did you? Bobby seriously thinks that like no black chick will ever date him.
Oh, I know that. That's very very very The only Asians that black women tend to date are like guys that have a Gold chain Asian a tall muscular. No, they didn't like you the black woman that day at that. Thank you for being the black correspondent The second one I can unit date black women day Asian men that shut the fuck up and it kind of like what you're doing right now But you're doing the thing where you look nervous.
We don't like that because you can't be nervous like you can't Giving very like fucking like Kobe. We need to give like Hiroshima like we need to fucking be ready to fuck it. Don't do covid Do you hear a team? Yeah, okay?
Attack yeah, yeah, oh you want okay straight up. No sneak. Yeah, first of all, I'm not nervous. Okay, I know how to play Here she might as well.
Okay, we're arms are phoned I think it is gay, but there's different kinds of those are the two types. There's many different types of what is the sneaky Asians? There's a sneaky Asian. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
They know they own beauty supply stores. Those are the sneaky They watch you while you shot exactly your parents. They owned a plus-size story. Yeah, they own beauty super people with bodies like yours I think I thought you said I lost the way the way you were like I say all of it I think that you still have a little ways to go Now working man, I'll be all really pin to bean I'm fine with my weight.
Okay Well as the most bit person in the room. I will say you know they say you don't age you know, yeah, you you you've looked you've got a good look forever Yeah, thank you. Yeah. Yeah, this is see looking at you.
Yeah, you're a female 54 oh yeah She is yes if I get it or would be weird. Yeah, why? Just cuz I don't want you up in the house. Yeah, I don't I don't I be clean your room.
Yeah I can't have that happen. Why? Just cuz I think like ethically and morally. I just did you know that's not I eat your mother's butthole.
Oh, it's a nasty area Yeah, that's great Bob. How would that make you feel how would that make me feel probably bad and uncomfortable? Yeah, yeah, I would say but guess what three fingers bud in my mother's in my mother's butthole. No, just that's what we tap What's our fingers?
Their actual fingers. Oh you and my mother. Yeah, whatever. Well smell his fingers so you can detect if he's telling the truth I've never smelled my mother's butthole I'm not that white The glasses Never seen my mother's butthole have you not mine your Your mom's butthole and I had to think about it.
Yeah, yeah, I'm Different people you either have nakey parents or you don't have nakey parents. We've talked about this I had a very nakey mom. I had a very nakey mom too. Yeah, so I saw all parts of her but not her butthole No, it's strange.
Yeah, I love my mother, but I've never seen it. We had nakey mom and dad. Yeah, right? They've never been over like Seeing a butthole there's work required to see a butthole.
You like acting? I do yeah, yeah, but you're good at it. I am very good at it. Yeah, yeah, how about you?
I'm great. Yeah, what we've been in? Check it out shout out to 50s. I forgive me my role as you know 50 no Wait, I like I live by him.
I live his energy. I love that you should attack and conquer every enemy that comes your way I had new information on that doc. I didn't watch it yet, but it was anything new that came out about him about Diddy I signed a NDA. I can't speak about it I'm sorry, I can speak about it.
Yeah, he has a guy to put on a chain for him. That's pretty cool. Oh, you mean like somebody There's a guy that follows Diddy and he has to put the go chain on that's his only job is to put the chain on Yeah, it has to be the right one though. It's not the right one though then Slide work.
That's not the door. Let's start from the basics start over. Yeah, let me get to know you a little better. Okay.
Yeah, both of you Yeah, okay, I'll start with the white one if I may as you should over here Ivy Monarch money if you want to keep your finances under control this holiday season You need to be using monarch rated Wall Street Journal's best budgeting app of 2025 Monarch the all-in-one personal finance tool that brings your entire financial life together in one clean interface on your laptop or your phone And right now just for our listeners monarch is offering 50% off your first year fly Well, it's Christmas season. I know you get a lot of guess for your family of so many family members hard to keep track of every Yep, and honestly what I love about monarch is that you know like one of the biggest fights that people get into really over money, right? But with monarch you can actually share you have a joint account with your partner or someone else you can see all of your finances in one place and have No arguments about it guys. It's named best budgeting app for 2025 by the Wall Street Journal Don't let financial opportunities slip through the cracks use code Tigerbellium monarch that common your browser for half off your first year That's 50% off your first year at monarch.com with Code Tigerbelli Hymns Him's here Him offers convenient access to arrange a prescription hair loss treatments with ingredients that work including choose oral medication serums and sprays Dr.
Trusted ingredients like finasteride and minoxidil can stop further hair loss and regrow hair in a little It's the three to six months you shouldn't have to go out of your way to feel like yourself Hymns brings expert hair streaky with a hundred percent online access to personal life treatment plans that put your goals first And hidden fees no surprise cost is real personalized hair on your schedule think of him's as a digital front door that gets back to your old sale But it's simple a hundred percent online access to trusted treatments for real health concerns all in one place Hi, Mary you worrying about losing your hair all the time. So what are you gonna do brother? I'm gonna order him's oh him for me because I'm a him and I'm gonna get him's alright Bobby cuz I don't want to thin out my hair baby for simple online acts the personalized affordable care for hair loss weight loss and more visit Hymns.com slash belly that's Hymns.com slash belly for your free online visit Hymns.com slash belly Hey, you know what individual results may vary based on studies of topical and oral minoxial and finasteride feature products include Compatid drug products which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety effectiveness or quality description requires These websites for full details restrictions and important Ivy where you from Los Angeles, California, and you live in New York currently. Yes, I live there for two and a half years Okay, and uh boyfriend a Situation ship right is this the old guy yeah, how old is he 38?
That's old? Yes I'm 20. Oh, you're young. Oh, yeah, okay She's 30 he's 38.
Yeah, yeah, but classy you know what I'm trying to get Come into a second believe it. I believe it. Yeah. No, what can I ask you something?
Yeah, do you think I'm gay? I mean, that's you really think because people think that I'm gay shit I move gay Because I'm like yo, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I shouldn't do that anymore. No, yeah, no, it's like hi. Hi.
No, it's maybe I can take a shit That's the thing that we make it before yeah, yeah, yeah before sure. Also, I don't know I'm looking at you look at your mouth. Okay, okay, okay Bobby Bobby's a gay name. You should be like I'm Robert.
Okay Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah It is gay for immigrants to have American names. I think that's kind of good. I was born here though I Don't know if I have your birth certificate. Yeah, why do you have his birth certificate for ten years?
And he doesn't know how to keep paperwork, so I'm like, you know other hen. Yeah, so your parents did get divorced early. Yeah, yeah That break your heart. No, it's my dad who was a big fan of comedy Yeah, my dad like in the 90s like early early 90s used to host for Joe Rogan and they would like go up and down like college clubs in Yeah, and my dad once watched Joe Rogan punch a guy in an empty crowd for talking.
Yeah, that's about right. Yeah Yeah, and my dad like I don't think ever did comedy after that ever again. Oh really? Yeah Yeah, I think yeah, I've been doing comedy.
I've been doing stand-up for something with New York So do you have yours? That's amazing. I think you're funny. Yeah, yeah Boyfriend open eyes please.
Yes. No, no no a bunch of like randos Yeah, whoever just like again It was never just nice to me it's my ass and just like it's like a key for a guy to eat ass for you Why you writing that down? Yeah, I'm not right. I'm not like like and you're glitter on your face.
Oh, I don't know Probably for me. Okay. Well, cuz I did help you. Yeah, he did do that.
You just win Kind of just been carrying my luggage around everywhere. I've been going cuz I've been around the block Mmm. Oh, yeah, I was waiting for a nice man. Oh, yeah I was on the curb like a full-on prostitute and I was like I'm gonna take my shit This is where the fuck you guys have spots lined up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah different places Yeah, I've been doing the illusion. I've done a few at the comedy store I'm doing Steve Fury's comedy confidential show with the where you read the part. Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, I've just been bouncing around. Yeah, I love to see you guys.
I'm at the comedy store on Friday Really? Oh, that's a thing. I'm not I'm open to do shows But I went to like settle in first before I actually like committed to do a show cuz Ellie's are you living here? No?
I'm sure I'm going to okay. I'm gonna move a movie right now. So that's why I'm all cool. Yeah.
Yeah, you guys are so funny Thank you for platform having a platform for my mental illness. Thank you for very unwell and things You're okay, what is your name again? It's Jamie Garcia. Okay, why did you do Jamie?
Because she said the immigrant Okay, yeah, we're in yeah, okay, time yeah, we're in. No, it's just no it's a time in the yeah That's okay. I had two high mints. I had to get the pun into one.
Oh, you're one of those. Yeah, I had to do I had a septate I'm in it sliced into one who discovered that a gynecologist. She was like there's two here. I was like oh and then Now I'm happy It's never like really like the thematic on all this yeah I like hurt or sex because it was like two holes pushed into yeah up one.
Yeah, nobody got two dicks Nobody got two dicks, but it's like a Rick and Morty alien. That's yeah I had two high mints got them one what is a high mint? I can tell you go ahead. So I tissue that covers You doing it yeah, that covers the vaginal some part Tubes no side I don't know that's not side I'm inside the high mint is like it is like it's tissue that goes over the vaginal opening and you have sex the first time It like perforates and breaks open and it kind of just like like so you had a double wall.
Yeah I was doing the border I had to I had diamonds for the for the pussy. Yeah. Yeah, so how do you break through to well? I'm in I just got a you I got it was put under anesthesia and they took like a scalpel and they just cut my Oh my god They circumcised you yeah, you were having sex with two high mints or just we had one high broke and yet another high Minute how did I had sex for the first time I'm in split into two and then afterwards I was like this kind of hurts But whatever yeah, I had a gynecologist who was like there's two holes here Wow, so then they fixed it I was one hole but what sucks is I thought that during the surgery I don't know since I was under I thought like okay They can give me a lady a plastic while I'm down there a husband stitch or something They left all of like the extra bits so all of that like extra tissue even though it's like cut into one normal hole now It's just still there okay.
That's just costing yeah We got good for you. So I had that second one the second one the third one the third one The piece would went into one hole yeah, the one hole and then the other one would like get kind of pulled It was just too tight opening and so okay brag Crazy yeah, yeah before Brad willing to love that one Yeah, right yeah, this is why I call myself Jamie So they cut they cut into one they removed that like little middle part of tissue But then they sort of like didn't remove all of it and so there's like some stuff There's tissue still in the opening but it doesn't affect me sexually or yeah, put it mine Let me guess what you are yours is the last one the Paris Yeah, that's your stuff like looks at it's a mouth. It has teeth Yours is grisly crunchy. It's just really or what look at me.
It's your grizzly or what? What what the fuck you talking about? It's kind of cheese grater is like It comes out in like shreds Bobby yours is the That's swastika pussy Look at the wicker man right anyway, um, I don't have a pussy yeah, I don't want to find out. Yeah, okay I think if you did you'd be a lot cooler.
Oh, you don't think I'm cool. I oh man. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. I'm all guy now Huh, sorry for all big. Yeah, yeah, I just want you to show cool you work. Yeah.
Yeah I'm old man of the block. I'm with my call you onk. Yeah Baby Is someone said it's actually not uncle. It's uncool.
No, no Black Air Force Like usually I mean it started as like how you what you would call like a middle-aged elderly black man Who like has nothing to do and it's kind of just sitting in a lawn chair outside Onk, onk is the dude that got the air force is the white ones. Yeah, you know at the bar. Yeah Apple bees during happy hour in the corner By the two dollars shots. Yeah, I would know yeah, but he's the one that's like I'll take care of you Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but I got shit to do yeah.
He's a layabout He's a layabout. Yeah, I'll give the elder male layabout right now. Yes, but I never hang on areas I ain't supposed to be anymore. Yeah.
Yeah, that's at a certain age like yeah, I ain't going to the club or at least Yeah, I would be really scared if I go around in the club I saw a face yes under control blanks. I be scared as fuck I see immediately I was like this Yeah, this fucking I'm Korean Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know like the Koreans know I'm mom you know it's funny You know I say like who can be racist. Yes, they can my mom is like literally a naughty Which is like shout out because like you know she deserves it But yeah, she talks so bad about like everybody she's like Japanese thing She's like Japanese act like they're better than Chinese and and Filipinos are the niggas of the Asians Yeah, yeah, I'm like what are the Koreans though the Koreans are just up in the way you know over the way by the way What do you prefer? Money, okay, Asian with money Asian now Jews are stingy with their money.
Yeah, ages too But I feel like if you think I can make you money I'm generous Jews if you make the money for $20 right now No, no give me $200 fuck. Oh, 200. I know I want to I'm being nice Thank you brother. Oh my god run that shit.
Thank you now. Give her a hundred for being my white course my white Yeah, that is called the 19th amendment ladies and gentlemen that is I Know any hundred I got nothing I want you to have it. Yeah, thanks for coming. You're welcome.
I get the fuck out of here Get her over we get a rover What slavery slavery and the whole cost yes I'm still suffering. Okay, but I'm just at where are you at? Where do you want to be driven to? No, we try to do if we get an uber where we're gonna take it where I'm staying where Oh Like that I got angry Oh short breath.
I'm saying I have a small throat. I can suck you off and keep it cool. It got to be weird Big t small job Joy sucking dick I do oh wow if I like really Break if I like it if I like it I'm thinking about my childhood. I'm thinking about the woman I fucking time I'm chomping I'm mashing.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. I'm just terrible I think it's ugly that and weird shape time probably you got going on For doing the Lord's work. Yeah, if I like him and if it's not if it's a weird No, whatever. It's your shit.
It's my ship Yeah, forget it. I want a different I accept it. I have a crooked weird dick is it weird? We're honest.
No, thank you tell her I I'm 12. I feel like this is a sex offender situation Me too me too. Yeah, and it's a prison to be around. Yeah.
Yeah, we with your Situationship like what's the forecast? What's the forecast? I mean I feel honestly I feel like it will go all the way That's what you're hoping something like Joe or I think I think my forecast with it is I'm too busy and hate dating so much that and same with him that I think we'll just stick it out until we both get bored You are 21 for sure that you are 21 for you old guy in the room may make a suggestion Yes, I say something wise right right now you guys are young stand-up comedians right focus only on that Get a career you can get dick any time you want. Yeah, that's why we do it.
Okay. Yeah, I just don't wait I don't want you to be distracted. Thank you Papa. I want you guys to I'm locked in the field.
Yeah, like there's no dick in this world I could ever detour anything. No, it's never that. No, even if I got like a mini or something I wouldn't say it women who throw their lives away for dick is you're retarded in your eyes Last let's go on making money. Yeah Nothing can ever take my eye away from never at all ever.
Yeah, I kill yeah Oh, you killed me like emotionally. Oh, yeah, I just yeah, so I don't even I talked to a friend recently yesterday was like It's very funny stand-up female stick. I'm moved to Florida with my guy. Oh Brainwasher to thinking that she's not funny enough to continue stand-up, and she probably is funny.
Well, they justify it. They go well There's needs time in Florida. Ah, yeah, it's like a sure. Yeah.
Yeah, no, God bless. Yeah after a second talk some sense Yeah, that's really dark. That's dark as fuck. I mean, but the good news is he's a billionaire That's why you start out with that I don't know what I'm saying.
I'm sorry, but you didn't say that he could like save her whole entire life Oh, so you would quick. Oh, yes, absolutely for a billionaire Yeah, and then he surprisingly would die some way and then I'd give back on stage I would quick comedy to win over a male billionaire just because men are so finicky and I'm already so bad with them That I know I probably be able to keep his attention for like three weeks So I saw you and I'd work instantly So smart I would do it, but you know, maybe one more something You know, you know, what one more guy I'm more Yeah You use you pull up my luggage. Yeah, that was well. Tell me some of your jobs for people are commenting.
We'll see if you're And they're not knowns. That's Mexican. That's Mexican like McDonald's T-Mobile. Oh, that's nice.
It's fine. Yeah, okay, I like Metro PCS Dominican I share the bus My apartment in Brooklyn I share an address with a Metro PCS They get my mail I get there and there's a soulful white boy that works at the Metro PCS But also at the deli across the street only like I've ever seen working at a deli's crazy. He's addicted to having a job He has a chinstrap year He's always wearing clay party merch and all he does every day is because there's no customer to the Metro PCS He sits on my friend's stoop and he drinks 40s all day and just leaves them And so I have to kick them to the side when I get home and he just sits there all day And he watches videos on his phone of other people playing video games What makes him so full what makes him so full? Yeah, 40s Like a six year old black man prison for 20 years.
Yes. Yeah, that's very so you don't date black man Do you um I seem like you would and should I've been into black guys black guys have been into me But it's never lined up in that way like I've never a black guy that I'd like to never like to me back a black guy That likes me. I've never liked back at the same time Where the black guys are like you nerds like comedy guys door jack off like was it kid since I was a kid It's black eyes that like like experimental jazz music. It's black.
Yes. It's black eyes that like anime It's black eyes that like video game and you like the black guys are like NBA player No, actually I like I like the type of black eye that like likes comedy and likes music and gay. Yeah. Yeah, okay We'll give them the ones a chance.
I like a guy in like a nice like a big oversized denim jacket Who is gonna come up to me a party and be like let's talk about the new ghost face kill album? You know which has happened to me before aprove nothing Black guys literally come up to me at parties and they're like I want to talk about Memphis rap with you And I just have to be like okay. This is the next hour of my life And I always have something incisive to say I always have something and they're the ones they would fight for you Yes, I have a question from both of you ladies I'm learning a lot about you two guys pretty hot now Now have you ever been with a guy that you guys hooked up with guys and after that have you told a guy what the guy he fell in love Right English I'm trying to girl Such a racial evening with you all So the guy like damn I'm in love with you now I'm in love with you now girl. I trust the stuff.
I don't think I've ever made a man in love with me after fucking him I have genuinely trash trash pussy the only person that was like pussy is a raccoon Really, it's I've never had that but was that what does that what does that look like you tell me? No, baby, can't be fine in love with me like I hear a ton of God. No fucking Rob you I'm gonna fuck that's my problem you bitch like I know I don't think anyone's ever falling in no. I think people know about my pussy though I don't have like shopping spree at Ross pussy I don't really have like fucking take me to like Chanel.
I have I have good will dressing room type shit Yeah on a Sunday morning. Yeah, it's crumpled in the corner What what's your experience with that? How many bitches have you said a yo bitch to pussy so good? It's like now shoddy.
Who are you? Get off of me. I had a one-night max. You know what I'm an extend.
Yeah a couple days ago Wow and like she saw me baby my pussy too good you She said it because she's like well cuz we're by fuck and then Virgin go ahead. He's my is a sex toy. I have sex Underbite Yeah, and uh, no, she's like my pussy's too good for you and like you're gonna fall in love So, you know don't find a little me cuz there's somebody else is that what she said she was in a really good You want to know she like no she like no I like to work. That's really what she needed No, I was in her apartment.
It was an apartment behind me is one of those like real sweet romantics like he sent soup He sent flowers Yeah, you know what you learned when you whisper to the pussy like through your underbite you like I don't like I don't just eat random pussy like it has to be like good personally. I have to fall in love with the girl Okay, Bobby six seven please Bobby so good. Let me pass that. Yeah, Bobby take over.
I can tell you're a good person. No, thank you Yeah, you have good person like yeah, yeah, yeah, you help old ladies across the street and stuff He has like all sisters, so I know he's got like lots of sisters Oh, maybe the fuck out of you. No, they beat the fuck out of each other not me Mexican women are so important I dated a Mexican girl in college and I got sent me a psychosis Full-blown psychosis. I was like somebody's always knocking at the door And it was just because I didn't have that if he and my life anymore Mexican women are really really important Smell like donuts and fabulosa and I love that very nostalgic scent though Yeah, I can get behind that like laundry old school like laundry detergent that makes me feel like warm fuzzy They get up.
It's like seven in the morning on a Sunday and they're cleaning music loud as well. Yeah, yeah I love that these blast like Anna WL all like the hits and stuff. Oh, so good. I have no idea what's going on What are the factually?
What are you thinking about when it's happening? We have six I try not to come yeah, yeah, what do you fuck what do I fuck? Yeah? Yeah, right like girls away like gorgeous gorgeous beautiful amazing women Amazing.
Yeah, but you're like really gorgeous and amazing and smart and awesome and you have amazing bone structure. Thank you I agree with I mean, I you know, yeah, I mean, yeah, I miss her You all made a bar cinder at join peaks now we gotta listen to you are you guys friends with exes at all? But I have one exit I am still friends with because he was a really good nice guy, but the other two I don't really know Fuck that they're dead and I hope they are hoping I wouldn't hope they are fine. They love you One of them to guy now, which that's right.
I don't want to contend with that because that was the Mexican girl She's a guy now. I I don't want to have a Mexican twink in my life Yeah, I'm my first love was a pedophile the other one Yeah, I was just like I don't like kids so it was never gonna work and then the second one Depends how rich the man is where some things on your mind Bobby. Let's start with you know I'll be honest with you I apologize ladies. I'm a little lost I Don't let me talk more than me No I feel safe I mean I mean on your wavelength you guys are super quick in my mind.
I can't catch up I don't know what the fuck you're talking about It's witty it's fun times Oh, yeah, so I'm a little behind but I'm just observing how are you Bob? I feel great now I said wholesome what are some wholesome thing you want to talk about? Let's talk about Christmas and what that brings okay? Yeah Was found dead in her apartment a week ago I Know what check up on her piece Barbara.
She was in psychosis. We weren't talking about you really She live out here now. She lives in law. She lived in Long Beach She was in psychosis How long was she dead before they found the body we don't know oh wow We have been weeks my mom and I are going tomorrow to go clean out her apartment that her corpse was in You think she looked down there?
She didn't have Jack fucking shit my grandma was a problematic ass Who was banned on reddit for being transphobic and She was a prolific Redditor who was banned for being transphobic. She was an ornery lesbian She spent the last few months of her life in psychosis But overall she was a very troubled woman and then she found she was found dead. Oh no that's devastating for the family Uh-huh you said it to your yeah Okay, good. I'm not reason like grandma as a kid or was she always kind of she's always always somebody who was um extremely kind of volatile and strange I liked her though because I can I can sort of um pal out with an ornery lesbian You know I can sort of I can chop it up with a bitch like that I can chop it up with a girl with borderline personality disorder just fine So I liked grandma, but she was troubled I found my grandma dead and I think it's because I watched Harry Potter because my mom was saying that Harry Potter's witchcraft And the one day we actually go see Harry Potter I come home and she's dead So I think oh, you know we went from like the holiday spirit That is wholesome I'm gonna be a fucking spy You're gonna stop the death It's about purple pussy Let me tell you about my grandmother Go ahead on that note So um my grandma died a month after her son killed her other son Well that's a risk I think she was actually pretty in like good health and I think she died of a broken heart So yeah, she died because of like a family murder and that murderous uncle is still a part of our family and Bobby's met him Did he ever go to prison?
Yes for a long time 17 years Do you think he's rehabilitated? Absolutely not No, he was wrong, he was wrong, yeah That's a Spanish side Any New Year's resolutions? My grandma my grandma Bobby hasn't even sick her grandma's story and I'll tell yours and tell your head Well I know how to tell that story over and over again, okay? I can tell you about mine You gotta tell me about mine She just put the Christmas tree up Here we go, this is the wholesome tree Do you see die after?
I'm gonna please tell your grandma's story I wanna hear it And then we she made Hot chocolate Oh she did, yeah, wow Gotta normal, we love a normal grandma This is that kind of cinnamon, what's that called? Cinnamon Yeah, we're chatting. What is a horchata cinnamon thing that I like? Like a horchata?
Yeah, yeah. A tole. Can you try a tole? What?
You should try a tole. I want to try it. Yeah. What is it?
It's like hot. Something. Yeah. Okay.
You're a man with no information. Oh, I'm learning. Yeah. There we go.
What is that? Felix. Sleep. Felix.
Sleep. Dude, guys, I have beds in my room and my bed. You have multiple room with any beds. I'm the king of all mattresses.
And I only use helix because it's the best kind. I really do. People spend the night in my house. Oh, my God.
It's up so well. I go, what is it? I go helix. I studied that they ran, found that 80% of those involved saw an increase in their deep sleep cycle with sleeping on a helix mattress.
Honestly, I've had my helix for over five years now. It is still perfect as the first day. Me too. Let's see.
And it's so easy. You just take a quiz. You take a helix quiz online and they match you with a mattress based on your, the type of sleeper that you're like, for instance me, I'm a side sleeper and I run really hot. So I got matched with a midnight.
This is the best mattress on planet Earth. Just get it, man. Right? Award-winning.
Helix is the most awarded mattress brand tested and reviewed by experts like Forbes and Wire, free shipping and seamless delivery. Helix delivers your mattress right to your door with free shipping in the US. All right. I'm happy with it.
Everyone in this room is happy with it. Helix, wait. He's more passionate. And what's really cool too is they give you 120 nights of a trial.
So if you're like, you know what? I don't like it. You can give it back a hundred. But you're not.
You're going to do 10,000 nights after that. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly.
But no need to worry. Don't worry about it. Really? One is a thick.
You know what I'm saying? Don't. Don't. Don't it.
Don't it. Don't it, if you touch me again. I will fuck you down. I will fuck your dad.
Destroy your whole lineage. Not a lot against it. It has a what? It has a thick in creamy.
I love what he does is after. Yeah. Son of a bitch. Whatever that P is.
Porridge. Like a porridge? And like consistency. And it's beloved by comfort food.
It's beloved by comfort food. I cover food. Dumbass. There's no buy.
I see it. I cover food. I cover food really loves it. He's like, now I beat women.
I want to finish a coffee joint. I want to finish a coffee joint joint. What? Breakfast in holidays.
Like the day of the day at Christmas. Yeah. Okay. Okay.
Good. I'll see you like, um, come on. You know, like Trump or other stuff. Yeah.
Yeah. We have it in the Philippines too. It's like chocolate porn. Any New Year's resolutions, guys.
He's simple. Become better. Get my money up. I want to make, I want to make $200,000 next year.
Oh, that's a good goal. I have $500 million by next year and have a much more. That's how much money you want? What would you do with $500 million?
I would kill Tony Hinchcliffe. You don't want to cut that? Don't cut that. He's like, hey, I have too much power and I don't care.
Yeah, yeah. Hey, you're a better? No, I don't want to. Okay.
I don't want to. I don't want to smell his fingers. I'm scared. That's so funny.
He is, I don't want to. Well, with that money, I bail her out of jail once she kills her. I don't use some of them. I need to bail you out.
You're very charitable. I got you, girl. Um, yeah. You're just not killing my dog.
You can make her up forever with $500 million. Low to another is a witch in Mexico. No. You can clone the dog.
You're useless. You can use them money. You can get a clone. I think it's $80K per clone.
Tom Brady just cloned his dog. I think Barbara Streisand did too. You cloned like three of them. Yep, she did.
That's crazy. She confirmed that they are not the same. Yeah. Yeah, so it's like the personality.
Yeah. Yeah. But I'm going to make a movie. You're going to be in it.
Yeah, what's the part you're all? You're going to be in store clerk. Literally I was about to say that, but you're black. You're going to be in blackface.
You're already doing it. Yeah. You're already doing it. Yeah.
You're going to be a woman. You're going to have a gold. Right. The blonde bang.
Like, ah. Whatever you don't think. Let's move on. Yeah.
I don't think I'm going to get it. But New Year's resolution. Um, I have no brain powered for a resolution. Okay.
Yeah. So keep myself, my baby, my family, happy and alive and safe. Okay. That's good.
Take it out of the world. You're going to take it out of the world. What's your risk? Do better.
Do better. Do better. What's your risk, Bobby? Yeah.
I don't want to know. Yeah. Me too. But I feel like you have so many interests, weird ones too that I feel like you could happen to.
Yeah, maybe. I've been roller skating by myself. That's fun. I'm not a roller skater.
I'm really good at it. I'm really good at it. I'm really good at it. I'm really good at it.
I'm really good at it. I'm really good at it. I grew up doing roller derby. Really?
Really? Yeah. We did, um, your long beach is a really big roller derby. But I did it out here.
There was a place in our village called the L.A. Derby Dolls. It was like this big warehouse with a bank track and flat track. be turned out to not be gay at all.
Some of them are now, but the majority of them know. You just, you get it out of your system young. So you do roller derby as like a child or like a pre-teen or a teenager. You present gay for most of that time.
You're not slamming to post continuously. Yeah, you do almost all the homo-rotic activity. Don't like this. And then you turn 18 and you're like, okay, I don't have to experiment now in college.
You know the flavor already. Where are you roller skating alone? Glendale? That's a park?
Moonlight. Oh yeah. I shot something at Moonlight. I grew up going there.
It's one of my favorite places in college. I've been going to Moonlight, but I shot something at Moonlight really weird. I go by myself, roll around, and then there's a part where I'm like, what am I doing? But then I kind of like it.
Wait, that's so cool. Are you kidding me? I'm not myself, yeah. What else are you going to get into?
I ordered some tennis rackets, maybe do a part doing that again. Oh my god, do you want to do pickleball with me? That's not the same sport. It's not obviously, but I don't have tennis skills.
I don't have pickleball skills. But if you have tennis skill, you have pickleball skill. I promise you. It's like the easier version of it.
Yeah, okay. Let's do it. You'd be great. It's like ping-pong.
But like, you know, he's really athletic. He is so good at every single sport and it bums me out. He's so agile. I'll give you a shot.
You guys are amazing. Thanks. I wish I was more alert to that. Well, I was back and be ready, big.
No. You know what? I would have you back individually. Yeah.
Together? I don't know if I can answer. It's so fast. Don't you think?
There's just so fast. I can't put it on and on and on. And I can't, you know, every thought that I have, I let it pass and it's too late. You know what we can do?
It's my sound dumb. But like, you know what? What? You know what we can all three do?
What? No, nothing like that. That's the three of you. Bobby, you and I are out of this.
We can do like a reboot of Matt TV. What do you think? Wait, you had Matt TV questions. Yeah, I don't know.
I guess I just wanted to generally talk about it because I do love Matt TV. But what is interesting to me about Matt TV is that it made no cultural impact. And that's my sort of like thesis around Matt TV is like, it ran for so many years and yet culturally it holds no water at all. And I just wanted to know like how.
But a lot of great talent came from that. I'm using the amount of great talent came from that. Well, because it was on basic cable. And I know that because I would watch it.