boundaries and no boundaries: listener question

My question is about expectations in relationship. You often here in spiritual circles "let go of expectations". I am seeing more and more the less expectation we have of others and the more aligned we are to ourselves, other people's actions affect us far less. When do not have any expectation to have our needs met and we forgive people's actions easily,  I can feel myself being a bit boundary less and letting anything go. Can you see a question in this? I do not want to repeat past misunderstandings that someone has to change for me as I don't like how they are being..