Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast, designed to help bring those four key Stoic virtues courage, discipline, justice, and wisdom into the real world. Winter has a way of lulling us into bad habits and old vices, like bears and hibernation where burrow deep in our comfortable routines. We found our favorite spot on the couch, our go-to delivery meals, our perfectly temperature-controlled environments. We've mastered the art of avoiding the cold, the wind, the discomfort.
They call this the velvet rut, and it's soft and pleasant, but it's still a rut. And yeah, after months of dark mornings and early sunsets after trudging through slush and scraping ice off windshields, it's natural to grow comfortable. It's reasonable to seek shelter in these comfortable patterns. But the Stoics remind us that true growth requires resistance.
Just as seedlings must break through the soil, we must break through and out these patterns. Nature doesn't stay dormant forever. Neither, should we. The idea is that we move with the seasons, and we must face the brisk winds of change head on.
And that's what the spring forward challenge that we do each spring with daily stoic is about, not quick fixes, but it is about getting set for spring. And with 10 days of Stoic inspired challenges, one for morning, the idea is that you'll clear away some of the winter's accumulated habits just as you would clear dead leaves from the garden. You can plant new patterns that will grow and flourish throughout the year. Yeah, the world is crazy right now, but as Marcus Aurelius reminds us, these external circumstances don't define us.
It's a response to them that does. And we have the power to transform challenges into opportunities for growth. Wandering about Marcus says to himself in meditations, perhaps on the eve of a seasonal change like this one, he says, get busy with life's purpose. Toss aside your empty hopes, get active in your own rescue.
If you care for yourself at all, he says, do it while you can't. This is the time. Do it. Now we'd love to have you join us and thousands of stokes all over the world in the daily Stoic spring forward challenge.
The idea is it's going to help you with anxiety and stress, how to be present, how to get after it, how to get active in your own rescue, as Marcus really said. So we'd love to have you join us and we'd love to have you stop procrastinating. Breakout break free, get cleaning, challenge yourself. You can sign up right now at dailystowak.com.
Spring, we start in less than 24 hours. I will see you in there. I'm going to be doing it myself. We've got a special offer for podcast listeners.
20% off can use code DSPOD 20. Check out, you can join me and thousands of other show. It's in the daily Stoic spring forward challenge. Just head over to dailystowak.com.
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You just got to visit whatnot.com slash sell to start selling W H A T N O T dot com slash sell whatnot.com slash sell. Hello there. Ryan Holliday. Welcome to another episode of the Daily Stoke podcast.
As you know, I love answering your questions. Whether I get to see you in person, do a bunch of talks. As I said, you can come see me in a bunch of American and Australian cities. You should go to DailyStokeLab.com.
But if you don't want to travel all the way to Australia, maybe we just sit down and talk about how to have a good spring. That's what we're going to be doing in the Daily Stoke spring forward challenge. It starts on March 20th. So if you want to get in there and do that together, you should join a Daily Stoke.com slash spring.
In the meantime, here's some questions that I answered last year during the spring forward challenge. Maybe it'll help you think about what you ought to be doing going into the spring. This question is about today's challenge, which spoke to me the most focused only on what we control. But past wounds can really kind of lead into the present and feel ever present.
For myself, it's really personal. I have a very toxic mother. I don't really have a great relationship with and an uninvolved father. So how can I apply stoic wisdom to truly actually move forward instead of just suppressing the pain?
Because so often I really feel that I've moved past it, but then I come to find that I'm not. Yeah. So yeah, we don't control that it happened. We don't control who we got assigned on this go around on the planet, but we control how we respond to it.
We control whether we get help with it. We control whether we try to process it. We control whether we try to do better. We control all the things that we do after.
So look, I don't think stoicism is just stuffing it down and pretending it didn't happen, but it's doing the work, you know, whether that's with a therapist, whether that's with philosophy texts, whether that's just with, you know, a lot of long walks where you think and process and talk about things. To me, that's what stoicism is. There is a great line from from Seneca, where he says, we don't get to choose our parents, but we do get to choose whose children we're going to be. And the idea of saying, hey, this is who I biologically come from, but I'm going to have a clean break and find myself the descendant of someone or something else.
I'm going to choose a different trajectory for my life. That's a, that's a big part of it. I don't think I would describe my childhood as anything quite like yours, but I think we all have issues from ours. And as I tried to process and deal with mine, I'm trying to say, okay, for my own sake and for the sake of my kids, who's child am I going to be?
What am I going to hail from? Who am I going to work with and talk to you to sort of reparent myself so that, that I can go forward and have a better sort of healthier, more well adjusted life. So, so good luck. And I think you're asking the right questions.
Thank you so much. Like everyone has said, this has been really helpful. And you talked about serendipity earlier in this chat. And I can't remember which day it was, but, and who said the quote, but one of the so ex-thought leaders said something to be effective, how if you would follow all of your curiosity streams, you'll end up not really doing anything and super paraphrasing and changing terms.
And that has always been a huge pain point for me because I think my broad curiosity is probably like at the core of my personality. And I'm a writer and it goes very slowly because I've bow down all these rabbit holes and I'm interested in everything and I want to do everything all at once. And I guess I'm embracing discipline and staying focused this year. And it's, it's born fruit, but I'm still curious about still, I can find advice for actually finding that balance and not letting your life become rigid while still being productive and disciplined.
No, it's a great question. One of the things I try to remind myself when I'm working on a book is there's all these things that I want to include or all these things that I'm interested in, all these things that connect to it. And I try to remind myself that this isn't the only book that I'm going to get to do, right? And that the book that I'm doing here is about this.
And I have to, for the sake of clarity of argument, but also for the sake of reaching and resonating with an audience, I have to be disciplined about what that is for this brief period of time that I'm working on it. And then I'll go to the next one and the next one. And so, so sometimes it's, if we feel like, well, I'm just not going to be able to get to it or if we feel like I'm going to try to get it all in, we're going to be constrained. But if we say, Hey, for now I'm focused on this and later I'm going to focus on that, it allows us to kind of go, okay, I'm not actually closing any doors.
I'm just putting this stuff over here for a minute. And so there's so many things that I want to read about. There's so many things that I'm fascinated by. I would definitely default on the side of being more curious than less curious.
I think curiosity is great. But I just have to remind myself right now, my focus is this. And then as soon as I finish, my reward for finishing is I get to go over here and get fascinated by this other thing. And so to kind of just have, Hey, this is my deep dive into this, then I'm going to do a deep dive into this.
And then I'm going to do a deep dive into that. But great question. Hi, Ryan. Hi.
The time of your course was quite gratuitous for me. My divorce papers came in on Wednesday and I started the course on Friday. Oh, sorry. I'm just interested to look in words and to make much more of the challenges about my emotional state or what I'm doing through.
I'm very familiar with the works and familiar with the books and familiar with the resources. But I'm still feeling lost. I'm still feeling that the next few steps that I take are the most important ones I'm going to take. I'm still not sure if I have a direction.
And I want to thank everybody here on the call who have been so kind and so forward. When I send messages on the platform, I found all your comments and messages to be very helpful. Well, that's one of my favorite part about these challenges, watching the community come together and people sort of help each other. I know I learn stuff from the chats also.
So wait, why you feel like you're struggling directionally? I feel like I'm at a fork. I feel like the next path in which I choose will be the one that defines me for the rest of my life. I feel like I have so many options in front of me that I'm paralyzed by the choice.
Well, you got to be something you're inflicting on yourself a little bit in the sense that you're making this kind of an all or nothing choice when in fact it's one choice of thousands millions of choices that you will have to make in the future. So I might think about what's the best choice I can make here now and understanding not only do I have many subsequent choices to make, but I can also choose to remake this choice right to come back to this crossroads again. I think sometimes we paralyze ourselves with needing to get everything perfectly right. We raise the stakes on things.
We act like this is a matter of life and death and usually it is not usually our decisions are much less permanent than they feel in the moment. So I probably I try to lower the stakes here. That's that's one of the things I think about. Alber, do you want to go?
Oh, thank you, Ryan. Thanks and I really enjoyed this challenge. Well, and a special thank you. I was very depressed after the election with the turnout.
Well, not very good, but I let the external thing wasn't a good show. So I bought the daily dad and I bought it for my son-in-law. And I got a bulk kid and I'm trying to be like, you know, and use two ears of one mouth in general with everybody I meet, you know. But how can I talk to my kids?
Because I have a son who I think is in pain, you know. How do you talk to your adult children without putting on errors or something that I need to work on? No, no, no, look. I don't have any experience talking to a adult children yet, but I guess I am an adult child.
And I think your instinct about listening more than you talk is great. And so you know what I would do? I would ask more questions. The more questions you can ask, probably the more you'll get.
Hey, it's Ryan. Thank you for listening to the Daily Stood podcast. I just wanted to say we so appreciate it. We love serving you.
It's amazing to us that over 30 million people have downloaded these episodes in a couple of years. We've been doing it. It's an honor. Please spread the word, tell people about it.
And this isn't to sell anything. I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you.