Breaking Down our Defenses to Heal with Kristin Snowden

Kristin Snowden is a specialist in helping individuals, couples, and family recover and heal from addiction, depression, anxiety, trauma and relationship challenges such as betrayal and infidelity. She and Rob discuss their time working together at Promises Malibu and Kristin shares what that experience brought her both professionally and personally. She also discusses the importance of education and language in overcoming shame and struggle, why she finds great success in group therapy sessions and more about her bi-monthly webinars on the Sex and Relationship Healing site.   TAKEAWAYS: [0:55] Kristin and Rob ran a treatment program for a number of years called Promises Malibu. This experience of opened her eyes to a new approach for those struggling with active addiction and outpatient care. She was strongly impacted by the work and applied what she was learning to her own relationships. [10:30] Narcissistic defense occurs when one has to get an external reflection of what they are doing right because of a feeling of emptiness on the inside. [14:05] Often people don’t seek help until they are in enough discomfort and realize the choices aren’t working for them and they need a different way. [15:33] There’s a lot of vulnerability in healing a relationship and breaking down our defenses. [20:07] Kristin shifted her thinking from acting based on the perceived rewards to really seeing people for who they are, accepting both their flaws and her own, and lessening “black-and-white” type thinking. [23:52] Kristin feels as though when you are connected with your spirituality or a higher power, you look at what’s happening as though someone else is in control, and it’s okay to let go and surrender. [24:45] Kristin explains the power behind running groups and the connection that occurs when her clients share observations and experiences in the safety of a group. [26:18]  Kristin feels a strong pull to help those who fly under the radar with their issues. They may be high functioning, and she helps them access a higher sense of awareness and consciousness about their addiction and acting out behavior.   [31:18] In owning our vulnerability, it releases us from the anger and self-righteous indignation, and gets right to the pain we need to access for true healing.   RESOURCES: Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101 Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency [email protected] Promises Brene Brown Sex and Relationship Healing Kristin Kristin Snowden.com   QUOTES: “I’m hooked, and I love this type of work and am grateful every day to do this type of work.” “Why does the human state seem to change in a state discomfort?” “I’m no different than anyone else.” “We have this wound in us where we are all looking to be loved in spite of our flaws.” “When we clear out our shame and our defenses, we have amazing natural instincts.” “I feel a strong pull to help those under the radar.”