Breaking Free from Dysfunctional Grieving Rules

Welcome to episode 85 of Dr. Ray Calabrese's podcast, Journey from Grief to Healing. In this informative session, Dr. Calabrese unveils the construct of dysfunctional 'rules' which have been applied to grief and how they can disrupt the natural process of healing. Dr. Calabrese draws a compelling parallel between parental instructions from childhood, societal norms, and unspoken rules that often dictate how we process grief. He highlights that there are many rules deeply embedded in our societal norms, cultural expectations, and even family traditions that unknowingly affect our grieving process. Dr. Calabrese delineates seven common dysfunctional rules associated with grieving. These include: the time limit rule, the strong facade rule, the distraction rule, the replacement rule, the isolation rule, avoidance of talking about the deceased, and comparative grieving. He brings forth the detrimental effects that following such rules might have on a grieving individual, such as heightened stress, a prolonged healing process, feelings of guilt or inadequacy, and isolation. The podcast emphasizes the importance of recognizing these rules within oneself as the first step toward healthier grieving. Invoking the thought-provoking quote from Jeanette Mentor's book You're Not Crazy, You're Codependent and the poetic verses of Mary Oliver, Dr. Calabrese encourages listeners to challenge these dysfunctional rules, and pay heed to their unique journey of grief and healing. Concluding with powerful affirmations and sending out uplifting vibes towards the listeners, Dr. Calabrese reminds us all: 'Never quit. Never give up. Good things are coming your way.' Tune in to this podcast for insightful lessons and inspirations on grief and healing.