Bring Balance to Your Relationship

"Send Ben a text"Your Teen Wants YOU To Connect With Them!If you're like the parents I work with, you want a better relationship with your teen. Me too!In fact, I want to help as many parents as I can to create better relationships with their teens. The problem is, . . .. . . If you're like most parents, you want your teens to connect with you . . . . . . BUT, your teen wants YOU to connect with them!And, what ends up happening looks a lot like this. You try to get your teen to change, (get better grades, be more honest, be happier, be more obedient, be less anxious) so you guys can have a better relationship, and your teen tries to get you to change (be less controlling, change your values and opinions, and leave them alone) so you guys can have a better relationship.This looks slightly different in every home, but this often leads to arguing, fighting, yelling, avoiding each other, and/or throwing your hands up and giving up.The secret is this . . . You can't change your teen . . . . . . BUT . . . . . . YOU can BE The Change!YOU can connect with them, right where they are.This is the BEST news ever!Restore The Balance (Or Even Tip the Scales In Your Favor) Over the years that I've been coaching parents and teens, I've noticed that there's a balance that is at play with our relationships. There are things that will connect you with your teens and there are things that will disconnect you from your teens. Here are a few things that will disconnect you from your teen:DistrustCorrectionTrying to control themFeeling fear, doubt, and worryCatastrophizing (looking for the worst possible . . . )Focusing on your differencesDisaproving of their differencesTrying to change or fix themHere are a few things that will connect you to your teen:Trust themLearn from themTeach themFeel confidence, hope, and loveOptimizing (looking for all the best possible . . . )Focusing on your similaritiesValue their differencesAccepting themAppreciating themThe problem is, if you're struggling to connect with your teen, it's likely because the balance is tipped in favor of disconnection. You have the power to bring balance back to your relationship. In fact, you have the power to completely tip the scales in your favor. You don't have to be perfect. There will be times when you don't trust your teen. There might even be times when you don't like your teen, but you always have the power to balance the scales. Connect Just To ConnectOne of the biggest things that holds parents back in my coaching is when their focus is on their teen changing rather than BEing the change themselves. Sometimes this sneaks in when parents want to BE the change, . . . so their teen will change.This does two things. #1 It shifts your focus to something outside of your control (your teen changing), and #2 it shifts your focus from BEing the change to DOing change.Now, rather than working from the Be, Do, Have model, you are working from the Do, Have, Be model. I want to invite you to commit to connecting with your teen just for the sake of connecting with them. It's not your job to change them. You can't change them. But, you CAN BE the change yourself!Call to ACTION!Join me for my 3 Day BE THE CHANGE PARENT TRAINING on February 10th, 15th, and 17th at 2:00 pm MST.Click the button below to get notified when I go live.Start being the parent of your dreams TODAY!YES! LET ME KNOW!Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen. Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today.https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz