Even though it's like, be different. Just smile, be nice. Be different. That was wrong.
I know this is a new song I've just recently become acquainted with. And this is the Black Eyed Peas. Yes, it's from that show Song Land on TV. Oh, yeah.
And I love the Black Eyed Peas. Today I always got a beat for you, but this one is a beat with a message. Yes, it is about being just be nice to people. That sounds so simple.
But people struggle with that. Yeah, I don't always do it, right? Right. And we're talking about this today on our episode of Bring It Home with Aaron's Nail because October is National Bullying Prevention Awareness Month.
Oh, that's good. Very. Yes. Very.
And we have a special guest with us today. I would like to introduce our friend, Emily Oswald. Hi, everybody. Emily, hey.
Emily is actually the health educator for the Crockett County Health Department through the Department of Health here in Tennessee. And we work together a lot here locally. And her big platform here, one of our major platforms here in our county is Bullying Prevention. Now that's a problem because I hear health department.
I think shots and I think everything else. But bullying. Bullying, guess I am. It's a huge part and it's affecting not only our youth, but it's affecting our adults as well.
So why not talk about it? They do. We can all probably think about a situation where we know somebody or a person even if anybody. Yeah.
You know, I was reading some statistics and getting ready for this. And Emily, you might share a little more about this, but more than what said like one in five students are going to be bullied just this school year. So the chances of us knowing a child, maybe even having one in our home, you know, are pretty high. Yes.
So like 160,000 kids per year are skipping school because of ambolied. Oh, wow. So it's a lot of kids. I mean, you don't want to go.
No. If somebody is being mean to you better than treating you poorly, you don't want to be there. No. It's just that fear that you're just scared today.
You're going to come in contact with that person and not know what to think of that man. That's so sad. Yeah. And if you're not there, you're not learning.
That's right. So it's a big thing that we want to address, right? So let's start with the basics. Emily, would you be able to define what bullying is?
Okay. So bullying is a type of balance that is usually repeated and it affects not only your physical well being, but also your social and emotional well being as well. So bullying can be a number of different things. It can be verbal, social, physical, emotional, spiritual, just any type of bullying out there.
But one of the biggest ones is cyberbullying. Oh, yeah. I believe that. See, we didn't have to deal with that one of them growing up because there was no cyber space.
Right. And you know, I'm really adamant in my oldest child. You know, he's like, he has a phone and stuff. He has no social media.
And he also was not allowed to play online games with his friends and stuff. I just, it scares me to be quite on it. Yeah. And with the older teens, like mine, you have no idea what they're doing out in social media land.
Right. And you don't know if they're being bullied or if they're participating in bullying because it could be either way. And you know, it's important to stay involved and ask questions, right? Yes.
And you're hiding behind the screen too. So a lot of people feel like they're protected if they're doing it online, that there's not going to be consequences. But we know that everything you put online stays there. Yes.
Never go away. And it's hard to think about what everybody in a community can do to kind of combat this issue. Yeah. Because you think about why I don't work for school.
Yeah. So you know, what's my role in helping with a bullying problem? So I guess we want to ask, how can communities get involved in bullying prevention? Because like Teneel said, you know, you may be a single person, no kids.
Your kids are out of school or, you know. Hey, you think it's not your problem because you're not a child in school. Right. I think it's creating a culture of change and like an atmosphere of positivity.
It's so easy for us to pick and prod the next person apart without looking for a problem. And we're not going to be able to work without looking at ourselves. And each of us are different and we're unique in a certain way. And it's not our place to kind of pick and choose what we're going to say is not cool about what they're thinking.
So judging or judging or that sort of thing. We just need to be positive, be loving, be encouraging. And you can do that community wide. You can start that at home with your kids sitting at the table and actually having conversations about what's going on in school, what's going on online and creating just that positive of lifting atmosphere.
Everybody can be that. That's what the song said. Be different. It's right.
Be yourself. You know, everybody doesn't have to be cookie cutter. I do think that's hard as a kid to kind of realize that, you know, we were all teenagers, pre-teens once. It's hard to be different now as we're older.
It's like, oh, it'll be right. I mean, you can't look at it. They're leaving at YM, but it takes a while to get to that point. And every child has the right to feel safe at school, in their neighborhood, outside playing, at church, wherever you go, on the ball field, a child's right to be safe.
Right. And we need to equip them to know what to do if they come in contact with a bully. Yeah, so there's always that stigma that surrounds bullying. I'm like, well, I don't want to be a snitch because snitches get stitched.
You don't want to call somebody else or make that type of person to go to the principal or to the teacher or whatever. You don't want to be that person. But the way that I put it is like, what if you were on the other side of things and you had had it to your wits in, come into school, come into contact with that same person day in and day out, and you thought, you know what? I'm just not going to be here anymore.
Like I'm dealing with myself out of this situation. Maybe for good with suicide or maybe you just take yourself out of like an atmosphere, maybe out of the school system, whatever, you could potentially save somebody's life. So if you can do that, snitchin is totally worth it for sure. Well, you know, I just talk to my kids.
Like if you see something wrong, you stand up for people. You don't necessarily have to like jump in there and like, what? You can talk to another adult, let them know what you saw happen, talk to the person afterward, come talk to me, come talk to their dad, let us tell us about it and you will handle it. The thing about it, so many children are not going to come to their parents and say I'm being bullied.
But there are things that parents can watch for. You may find reasons not to go to school. You see they're having stomach aches or headaches or complaining of things when it's time to go to school. But then when that time passes, everything seems to be fine.
But they realize I'm not going to school today, I don't have to deal with the bully today, then they're fine. So those are kind of warning signs, aren't they? You just need to delve a little bit deeper and especially for teachers, they think about those things pretty frequently. Like if a person is doing really, really good in a class and then all of a sudden they don't care anymore, well, it's most likely because they just don't want to be there.
So you need to kind of think about those things. There's all of these little minute something that you can pick up on, especially as parents. You know, like maybe they're dressing deeper in it or maybe they just don't care about the way they look anymore. Because maybe somebody's picking on them because of what they wear or when they look like.
Well, I mean, sometimes too, like friends can pick on you. Not so hard, thank you. Friends turn on each other. Yes.
All these ages, they're hormone deraging and life is different and they've got a lot of stress on them. And yeah, that is tough. It is. And you know, we've already kind of touched on this with addition of cyber bullying, but the face of the bully has changed.
You know, when we were growing up, the bully was a big kid on the playground who would fight you and take your lunch money and do these things. The bully now could be the smallest kid in the class and they are running things. You know, it has changed. It has changed.
It is. It's what it is. It's like a superiority thing. You feel more powerful if you're picking on somebody and they're inferior to you.
And then group dynamics comes into play because all of a sudden people gravitate to that person. Well, you know, I want to be in the bullies, good grades. Right. Yeah.
They don't want to be the victim. Yeah. I mean, this has been going on since the beginning of the year. But you know, you look back and there's bullies throughout history.
This is not a topic that has only happened in 2019. It's just changing. You know, you're right. And it's become something we actually talk about now before.
It used to be like, oh, well, you know, you're just going to have to deal with it. Well, something that I've talked to my kids about at the hospital, especially is bystanders trying not to be a bystander, trying to step up and take care of the next person that is in right next to you that's having this done to them. And one of the biggest statistics that I found was from American Society for the Positive Care of Children. And it's said that if bystanders intervene within 10 seconds, 57% of the time the bully will stop for good.
That's huge. Yeah. Yeah. That goes along with the statistic I found.
I found this a 55% of bullying situation stopped when it appeared. So when the other people say, hey, wait, we're not doing this today, that hemisphere starts changing. And it's because we don't like to be called out. Wow.
So how could you encourage students to stop bullying if I see it? Or as parents listening, what can I do to encourage their students? So what I normally tell my kids is I give them a challenge. And the challenge is is that you share the nice, just the message all in and of itself.
So just that two words makes such a big difference. You see something happening in the hallway, or you see something at a football game or whatever, and you know that it just doesn't feel right. Something's not good there. Come up to that person and tell them to be nice.
It's a key impact. Pretty simple too. And here it's going to use that too. Yeah.
Well, I tell my kids, look, you don't want to be their best friend, but you have to be nice. Can we use that with adults? Can we not go to the house? Be nice.
That's right. We should start this hashtag. Yes, hashtag be nice. Or hashtag be a friend, not a bully.
Oh, there you go. Yeah, I like that. I like that. So when kids or students are being bullied, I know if you mention looking for signs and things like that.
So what are some negative ways that bullying affects people? You know, I know that can lead to learning issues and even some health issues. What are some signs and symptoms like to know about it that we should be looking for? So some of them may be like poor academics or maybe they turn to violence, behavioral issues, aggression, that sort of thing.
Anxiety and depression is a huge one. Substance misuse, even prolonging after or high school and into college and adulthood and that sort of thing. Words really do affect you. And if you can't shake that, then you go to other things to make you feel better.
And sometimes unfortunately, that is substance misuse and then even death is the biggest result. So of course we don't want to end that that way. That's the reason that we need to pick up on those little small things. Early.
Yeah. Yeah, definitely. I agree. Be nice.
Be nice. That's how we're going to leave now on and how we want to teach our children to leave us. That's right. Because how we treat others matters.
Yes. So there's like an observance coming up, right? Right. We saw October 23rd.
It's like we're orange day. Unity day. Unity day. You wear orange.
You're not supporting UT. So even you're not a boss fan. Even you're not a boss fan. You can wear orange that day.
Yes. Yeah. I think that's a great idea. We all have something orange.
Let's go out and get something between now and then. That's right. Yeah. Just speak up.
Be nice. I like it. I like it. That's what we need to do.
I like that song. We need to play it again. I know. That song is.
Yeah. Have us all dancing in here. Thank you so much for being our special guest today. And thank you all for listening in and hopefully you've gotten some tips.
Oh, I learned some things today for you. Yeah. Yeah. Just some things we need to be reminded of.
And in the words of Mr. Bob Marley, you know what? He would love that song. He would have.
He would love that song. He would have. He would have. I bet he would be nice.