Bringing it Home: Green Flags

we're bringing it home with Sarah and Tennille you know Beyonce's my girl right oh I've been doing that okay so now she's out with a country song Texas Hold'em she's from Texas but this song has created some controversy some people have said how can she put out a country song they don't like it oh and I'm on the other side we're like hey just create music you love you know I mean she could sing the alphabet and I would be the support but anyway she is just in this song she's wanting to just put the cards down and come dance come out on the dance floor so if a guy just like drops what he's doing and join you on the dance floor join me on the dance floor I would consider that a green flag I mean yeah that's the guy for me so the red flag would be he keeps on playing and doesn't pay any attention no that's not gonna work so are you telling me today on our podcast right at home we're gonna talk about green flags well it's still March it's still March and we said we were gonna focus on green so I've seen enough on social media about red flags red flags we need to talk about some green flags okay I like it I like it a lot I think that green flags are definitely something that people need to consider as much as those red flags well see spring is officially here can I say it now okay spring is here okay and some people might use this as an opportunity to start a new romance I don't know or you may be evaluating your perfect romance I don't know we don't know what your situation is right right but if you're considering you know getting into a committed relationship or evaluating either one it's really important for you to look for those red and green flags but green flags is an idea that a lot of people aren't familiar with so we want to share some of those today for sure and these green flags are going to help you decide if you've really found somebody that's worthy of you giving your love and time to so okay I have found for us to talk about today six green flags and I found some information from the one love foundation so if they do these six things they're the one well this is these are just six ideas to help you see if this is a good thing oh just explore okay this is just right all right so number one this is a huge green flag you can be your authentic self you be yourself you don't have to put on you don't have to perform you don't have to act in a way that is not true to who you are you can feel like you can be honest and I think well for you and me you know we just kind of say what we think yeah that's important for you to be able to share your opinion without feeling judged or being ridiculed for that yeah now this is very important I mean you know you can only perform for so long so you can pretend to be somebody else but that's gonna go and you're gonna want to be yourself and at some point you're gonna slip up and say something I agree give an opinion it's really important from the very beginning that you argue because if not you're building a relationship that's not built on the truth right and that's not fair to the other person you wouldn't want them to do that you know you are trusting that the other person is presenting their authentic self so it's only fair that you do the same thing right so huge green flag in a relationship is that you can be your authentic self and they can too so you can be yourself no matter what they can see you you know with no makeup on they can see you with your hair pulled back in a ponytail they can see just basic you they can hear your opinions you may vote different than they do or you may have a different idea about something and it's okay they can be okay with the Beyonce song and you don't like it but you can express your opinion okay so that's number one that's a huge green flag okay so another green flag is that you find yourself laughing and smiling a lot oh I have to laugh in a relationship if I am not laughing I am just not please like that's a true telltale sign that you enjoy being around somebody and that this sounds so simple to me it sounds like friendship yeah a lot of it sounds well shouldn't you be friends oh you need to be friends you really need to be friends because I wouldn't want to be around anybody who I couldn't be my true self and now number two you said we laugh a lot so I like friends that I can laugh with yeah so maybe your mood is lifted and it's not just those early days like you know the early days of dating like this is sustaining you're gonna keep laughing keep laughing for years to come so make sure that you smile a lot around this person yeah for sure so those are our first two green flags you could be yourself and you find yourself laughing and smiling you know this one's huge to me right you feel respected yeah is a green flag and for me a lot of this is boundaries okay they respect your boundaries you're taking time to get to know each other so that I can really like see the green all the green flags and potential red flags you know yeah you got to take it slow because if we're going too fast I might miss some red flags right um so yeah you definitely got to take it slow and they've got to respect that not try to pressure um you know things to move any quicker right right no there's no pressure there's boundaries and those are respected and not like you're saying not push yes and you know I think communication ties into this about being respected that that you feel heard and that they are listening and they understand your point of view even if they don't agree you said that a couple times so are you suggesting that we're not always going to agree so agreement is not what makes a relationship good no honestly that would be a red flag for me if everything I ever said the other person always agreed with that's a red flag like how do you want to be you like they're obviously not able to be themselves with me right right yeah respect is huge if you're not feeling respected that's a red flag if you are feeling respected and you are feeling heard and listened to and your boundaries are appreciated and not pushed then you're being respected I like it yes I think this one's big too you want similar things in life oh and you've got to talk about this communication here we go again yes because you've got to talk about what you want in life and you know not just the surface stuff well I want somebody who's trustworthy and honest no we got to talk about what we want life to look like um you know at a certain point we got to have those conversations about you know if we take this you know to the next level you know do you want to be married at some point do you want children at some point we're gonna live you know is family are we going somewhere else right you know maybe they've always wanted to live in Michigan and haven't got there yet so that could make a difference you need to have those conversations sooner than later not when you're about to walk down the aisle like these need to be happening earlier in the relationship for sure I think it's also important when we talk about similarities in life that your common values and your morals match up yeah they need to you know they need to value like trust and honesty and work ethic and ambition and even your faith like whatever it is that's very important to you kind of like a deal breaker kind of stuff if you're not sharing I call it a non-negotiable so it's my non-negotiable you know if this condition is not met this condition is not met you know those are non-negotiables and we can't think that we can make them feel this way no but you do you get that sometimes I mean you get in your brain well this is the beginning they're going to like me so much that they're going to change everything that yeah and especially when it comes to values and morals like so that's something guys that we really encourage you look for as green flags that you have similar life ambitions and that you have similar and very common morals and values and I happen to know one of the top reasons why young couples get divorced is because they don't have a shared vision of the future I mean you know they get married and they haven't really talked about the future right yeah they really haven't talked about it so you got to have those life discussions with people that you are planning to potentially spend your life with that's right and if they won't talk about it that is not a green flag they are not going to spend the future with you all right here on this one I like this okay this next one says that it's a green flag if you feel challenged in a good way challenged so this is about empowerment and teamwork like they believe in you and your dreams and they want you to reach them like they want to help you they have a passion maybe a big dream too and you kind of feel challenged to help them like you want each other to be successful and it takes a team you know I get it basically you make each other better you know you're challenged to be better because you're with this person they motivate you um yeah you're not settling to just be whatever with this person like you're always encouraged to like try something new or go for that dream or hey let's do this together and on the flip of that you're helping them do the same thing yeah okay okay it's not you're not in a relationship where it's like why do you want to do that I was concerned when you said challenged but this is a good challenge I can see that I like this like to don't get stagnant in your relationship right right and they're always no matter how long if it's a new relationship or you've been together 30 years they're always willing to encourage you and hey if that's something you want to do let's go for it yeah that kind of thing all right this is another biggie these are all biggies that's why we're talking about them they're biggies okay another green flag is you want to make sacrifices but not too many you're saying you want to sacrifice something for this person well I think commitment does involve sacrifice don't you know it definitely does you know it does um you gotta give up some stuff when you commit to somebody you know um that's just how it is but you shouldn't be expected to give up everything and you shouldn't be expected to give up things that matter to you um your morals and values you shouldn't be expected to give those up or your dreams that we were just talking about you know if I'm in a committed relationship with someone sure I'm gonna make some you know sacrifices along the way but they should be willing to do the same for me the word is compromise you know we've got to be willing to compromise and meet somewhere in the middle it goes back to we're not always going to agree on everything um and some things like the Beyonce country song we can just disagree about that and it won't affect our lives but there are some things that we have to come to a compromise on or it's going to start affecting our family affecting our relationship uh affecting our goals and dreams and so we do have to be willing to compromise we do that's what it's all about you don't want to become resentful of a person um and vice versa so I think having some independence still as a part of a couple is important you know my husband and I have a lot of things in common but we have some different hobbies and like he loves to hunt and I'm not going to hunt and I never hear you say I'm about to go hunting because I'm not but I it doesn't like I encourage it I'm glad when he even like goes with our son and our daughter goes you know he goes with friends like I'm glad that he does that you know whereas he doesn't like to read but he knows that occasionally I need just a quiet afternoon by myself to read a book y'all don't ever sit together on the couch and read next to each other no you know and I like to shop he doesn't like to shop he's never going to say you can't go shopping you know so oh that's red lag red lag you know so there even with all the things in common it's good to be independent and again compromise on that because you know at the same time he doesn't even spend all his time hunting and I only spend all my time alone reading you've got to be together too yes so I think that it's really important for us to consider green flags in a relationship the ones we talked about today and there's more these are just a few people today is that you can be yourself yes that you find yourself laughing and smiling just like that you feel respected you want similar things in life and you're challenged but in a good way and that you're willing to make some sacrifices you know and it can be scary to talk about these things with somebody you know yeah I mean to bring up any of these things sounds kind of scary but you know I hope that there are some listeners out there that have heard this list of green flags and they are smiling because the person they have met and plan to move forward with this spring meets all of these and checks all the boxes or on the flip of that you know if you're thinking about diving out into the dating world this is maybe a place you can start a reference hey these are some things that are my non-negotiables but I think it's really important for us to pay attention to all the flags the red and the green they are there for our reason friends luckily there are no yellow flags that I'm familiar with there probably are I'm just not familiar oh no I don't need to go there it's the beige flag beige wait a minute we feel yellow that's another podcast I'm not going into all that so green month is ending we have been green all month long extension month is ending so it's been a blast March has been wonderful it really has and we are excited to see what April's got in store for us warmer temperatures maybe some more sunshine we're headed towards we're getting there we're getting there so thank you all for tuning in and the words of Bob Marlick now I don't know but I would think that he would have a couple of these green flags probably I don't know I don't either I don't know but either way he would still want us to live the life you love see you guys in April