It's Christmas time, my dear. And we said no gifts this year. I got one question if you let me. Why did you get me?
Is it a tie? Ain't ugly sweater. Matching the drama. So something better.
Is it bullshit? That could you? Man, I'm on my hat. Lookin' at me.
Come on, watch me. In your own duets. I love you. We're ringing at home with Sarah and Sunil.
Sarah, this is a new song, fairly new. It's him this year. But, and I never thought that I would say this. That is Jimmy Fallon and Megan Treanor with Ratney.
I love it. I love it. It's got a great beat. I love the song.
I think I'd ever mention those two. Together. You know, not to perform a song together. But, you know, Ratney, you love it.
You know, today's a very special day. It's December 11th. Okay. I know tomorrow.
It's a special day. That's tomorrow. Nice to meet you. Oh, wow.
That's a biggie. It is. Well, we gotta get through today. But, because, let me tell you about December 11th.
Okay. Dana has been collected by Meta. And, you know, Meta's the company on Facebook. And all that kind of stuff.
Okay. But this was a few years back. I guess. But, they have suggested that these are 11th is the most popular day for romantic relationships in, in, where I thought you were going to go.
Those are more likely to break up today. Okay. And around holiday periods like Christmas and New Year's and milestone birthdays because these celebrations amplify cracks that are already in the relationship. Well, it is very.
We are getting deep. And my mind wasn't going there. So I'm catching up. Yes.
So I want everybody to be extra nice to their significant others today. Try to navigate this day. Hopefully you make it through today. You're home.
Thank you. Wow. So I'm thinking like, you know, we're a couple weeks out from Christmas. I don't have to buy you a gift.
No, we break up. You know, I don't know. No, you may, you'll have to be with some relatives. You don't want to be here.
So let's talk about 10 things that cause holiday arguments for couples. Okay. 10 things. No, I'm working with you.
Just got time to talk about 10 things. Oh, that's all we can talk about. Okay. Okay.
So when it comes to the Christmas tree, that's a happy thing. Sure. But tell us some things that couples can argue about when it comes to the Christmas tree. Oh, gosh.
Probably when you put it up, how you're decorating it, you get a real one. You get a fake one. Where's it going in the house? So just that one thing, a Christmas tree, you came up with about four different things that we could argue about.
And I mean, I don't have this experience. But I'm a person that loves fake trees, marries a person that only likes a real tree. Right. Or they're allergic to real.
So they go to have a fake. Yeah. Well, I'm really not that big on this. I come by with a little one.
Yeah. And then decorations. What if one likes really, you know, ornate glass decorations? The other one has a big dog that's real rowdy.
Or a cat that could take it down. Or like you want a theme tree, but the other one likes the old family. So it's special. And what about we?
Some people like to put it up. You know, thanks. You know, we can. Other people like to decorate the Christmas tree on Christmas Eve.
Yeah. Well, good grief. And now it's like earlier and earlier. So yeah, because I definitely have it in my house.
Like, um, it's not Christmas. Talker Thanksgiving. Like everybody's on the same. What if Josh was a November 1st first?
I mean, I would be flexible. But we never will turn him. So it would be dead. We didn't do November 1st, but we did because we got it.
My husband's really doesn't care. We in. I mean, he just doesn't. Yeah.
I mean, we're not going to do that. But that's the thing that couples can fight about. Wow. And just like little things can become big things.
Yeah. They can. And so while we're at it, we're already about the tree. You're the next thing you know, we're throwing everything into the whole argument.
Okay. Let me tell you something else that we can argue about. Okay. We don't argue about where we're going to spend these holidays, especially if our families are in different seats or locations.
So we're going to spend Christmas. You know, we're going to be a jerk over Christmas and my folks are Christmas. I'm going to say home for Christmas. Um, you know, where are we going to go?
We're going to alternate each year. We're going to Thanksgiving with one and Christmas with the other, then next to the switch. And then they'll give me the one. I mean, this is what people find about.
I can see though, especially like you said, like different cities, like the requires travel. There's no way we can see. So we got to develop a plan. What do we have a baby?
Both sets. They're going to want to go to the big. Yeah. I'll say.
They're going to go to the big boys. But I mean, you know, that this is something for us to argue about because it sounds fair if we do Thanksgiving one and Christmas with the other. But what if I did extended families coming to town for Christmas and we go back to the big boys. So we need to be there Christmas.
And yeah, these are probably things that you need to talk about earlier than later. And also too. Don't talk about today. No, not today.
I mean, we should have already figured this out. But also we also got to be a little bit understanding and that over time, like things may change. Yeah. I know.
And everybody in the family's got to realize that. Right. So, but if we're already arguing and I say, no, we're going to my mom's and you say, no, you're going to my mom's and then, you know, yeah, this could be a big. Yes.
So, so the suggestion or the recommendation would be to talk about this earlier. Yes. Sooner than later, probably even like summer. Yes.
So that there's no drama. And if you've got to make travel plans, then that's right. And I like that you said things may change because maybe we do fly opposite somebody while it's just as a couple or maybe we have one child, but by the time we have three children, it might cost you for us to go flying. And we may want to start some of our own traditions on our own homes.
So yeah, things do change, but you know, if you're already having communication issues and stuff, this one's going to be hard when to tackle. So talk about this one sooner than later. Yes, definitely. Okay.
What, what we're not in sepercies. Everybody lives in the same. Yeah. I mean, everybody, your folks, my folks, brothers, sisters, everybody now, what can fire that we're not traveling here.
I guess the time who's bringing what who's hosting who's hosting. We'll be at right. See, it's a me that would be easier to alternate than if you would. Yes, it's I don't know.
I mean, I was talking about that later. Just some people don't want to. No, no. So they rather just go.
So you've got a lot of different person. People host out of guilt. True. And so then you have that whole thing.
So you think it would be easy to alternate, but have different living situations. Maybe these live in a small arc. Yeah. And we really can't rotate to them because they don't have space.
That's true. And if we're already arguing, I'm probably not going to want to have the whole family over and talk for it. No. No.
Does that mean you have to buy everything? Right. Or are we going to pay a certain amount per family to help offset the cost for the host. Right.
Because you've got a clean. Yeah. What are we going to do? That's a lot to think about too.
Okay. That's great. We got another thing we need to think about. No matter where we're going to be, what are we eating?
Because that's a question you and I, we want to know the answer to what are we eating because part of the family is saying we've got to have the traditional, whatever the traditional meal is for that holiday. We got to have it. Then you've got things over here that say, let's try something different issue and then they flash. True.
I guess this is not going to issue for us. Goodness. I think you just say it upfront. Like if you're hosting, you get to decide.
I mean, My house bring whatever I need everybody to bring. But if you're not in a place to do that, that could be stressful because then you're going to be behind the scenes arguing about, wow, you want to do that. Well, you're so and so said, I got to do so and so, you know, like you could lead to a lot more. Yeah.
So deciding what to eat. I like the fact that you said the host gets to decide, but it could call some arguments and different things and you know, people are unhappy. And so the couple could be on opposite sides. Very true.
Yeah. Very true. What else we got to fight about? Well, you know, when you throw some kids in the minutes, mom and dad are having some issues, whatever.
You know, you got to think about how much you're going to spend. Like, are you going to talk about that ahead of time? Like you're going to buy. I'm not in this or, you know, are we going to share the calls with a big gift or just you do what you do?
I'm doing what I do. Where are they going to wake up on Christmas morning? Those kinds of things. I mean, that's a lot, especially for, you know, our families, our listeners that maybe this is their first Christmas to have to make these decisions.
Right. And we're really not at a place maybe where we are not arguing or, you know, it's still raw. Yeah. Yeah.
If anyone has first holidays, so this could could be hard. Yeah. And you've got to have communication with this because you could end up spending too much money and end up with that, which that's going to lead to additional problems down the road. So we've got to talk about this upfront.
You know, we've got to decide how much we're spending, you know, who's going to buy what and then we've got to have some discipline to stop once we reached our degree point. Or that could be an issue too. If the couple is still together and trying to make things happen or happy like one parent wants to blow all the money on Christmas with other parents like, Hey, we got a budget. Yeah.
So you don't think about money is one of the biggest money, you know, things things. Yes. It is. So we've got to talk about that.
So you mentioned deals and I know different people were brought up of our upbringing. And so that's the way we think it should go. Yes. So like that mommy did it.
Right. So we end up in the gills. I know that some people allow their children to choose one deal on Christmas Eve. No, but but my family gets to get on Christmas Eve.
So they're opening those gifts. Okay. So they get to open something. Right.
Like gifts on Christmas morning. Like we wait till do our family gives on Christmas morning. So what if you were involved and married to someone who said they grew up opening all the gifts for a city. Yeah, we would have an issue there.
But again, that's not what I know. Yeah. And we're not saying either is right or wrong. Right.
They are just different perspectives. And so we end up in the house. You know, some people let their kids open the gifts or some does midnight comes and it turns into Christmas day. Yeah.
So I mean, every family has their own way, but you've got to talk about it. I mean, honestly, you know, I'm assuming 60 years ago tomorrow, we became parents. You know, we probably had his discussion about that stuff as the kids have gotten older. Yeah.
But, you know, thankfully, we've been able to communicate about it. We're saying, it's a little bit along the way. It's not like you sit down with this list and you decide all of this. You know, it's just a conversation that you have here and there, you know, we may talk about when to overgives, then we may talk about what to eat, you know, these don't have to be on the same day.
Friends who like do four gifts only four gifts for their kids. Like it's something to read, something to wear, something you need, something you want. That's it. So if you're coming from like this, we splurged and you've got the frugal person.
Yeah, talk about it. Yeah. And they're all good. You just got to figure out what's best for your family.
Now one thing that you can definitely fight about this may seem trivial, what Christmas movies to watch and I can totally see this because I'm going to put my own family on blast. Um, a Christmas story, usually plays for 24 or 48 hours. I don't know. It plays forever and a day.
I don't see the need to watch it once. Maybe twice. Let's say twice. Let's do twice.
My husband is not good with that. He wants to watch the whole day. 24 hour marathon. And we recorded it.
I put on DVR for him. I put on DVR for him. I put on your layer. But you have so much with everybody else.
And you know, I know in my mind, that's what he does when it's on. Yeah, I think it'd be annoying. But that's my favorite Christmas movie. So it really wouldn't bother me.
Yeah. Now if we were watching one of my favorite movies, no, I still don't want to see it for twice. It would still be enough. But anyway, just trying to agree.
And it could go beyond movies. You know, I think what last week, I think the Mariah Carey's on, you know, all over Christmas. My husband hates Christmas music. You know, I'm like, you know, and so I don't play Christmas music around the house.
That's my choice. He didn't ban it. But you get to be respectful of his life. I don't blast it around the house like I normally would.
So again, it's communication. He told me, you know, I can't say it's a Christmas music and I thought who argued who raised you. See, now if I was living your house, I'd be like, get over it, dude. It's on.
I can't believe it. But honestly, I can take it early. You know, so it wasn't one of those things to fight about. What else can you fight about?
Well, again, I want to come back to money because you should have a budget for Christmas. Okay. Um, for the kids, right? And decor.
And we talked about Christmas cards last week and food and coffee and all that stuff. Because we're having people over. We're spending more money than our own grocery budget. And you know, in the Pinterest friendly world we live in, everybody thinks their house needs to be looking like, oh, better homes and gardens.
And it doesn't like, it doesn't usually work. But you can't walk in any store. You know, they've got their Christmas up 50% off. You're like, oh, well, this is all matter.
And before you know it, you've blown your Christmas budget. So you need to talk about that and plan for it. You know, we do Christmas club all year. So that I know what my budget is.
My husband knows what our budget is. It's like, that's what we got. And it's all encompassing. It's for the poor, it's for whatever.
Yes, it should be for everything. But that could be an issue. Like, if you have a minimum, it's because you know, person that really wants to go all out. Well, you know, another thing that you mentioned this earlier, something that we could argue over, we could argue over who's going to clean.
Because if we're hosting people, there are two clean up events. You are not going to be there. There's a clean up event that happens before. Everybody comes.
Then there's a clean up event that happens after everybody leaves. And so we can definitely think about that. Then there's a lot of extra trash too. You know, random paper.
There's so much trash. Even the recyclers. It's still not going to be taken somewhere. It's got to be dealt with food from the extra hits.
You know, if we hold something, we've got all these trash bags with the food trash and things like that. And so, you know, there's stuff to clean and deal with. It shouldn't fall on one person. We could fight about that.
That's something that could start an argument. You know, what was your family? You should be over the limit. You should be over the limit.
You know, whatever it is. You have to communicate. It could be just as simple as asking, you know, would you mind helping? Sometimes it may not just naturally have heard of people.
Things that we feel like naturally have heard of people. I agree. I think it's your first time that we're host or do this kind of stuff. You don't realize.
You don't realize they're going to leave. You just have to actually have people in your house. Yeah. So, you know, not just talk about the actual Christmas holiday.
There's another holiday a week later. New Year's. Yeah. You know, I don't argue about it.
You want to go out. But your spouse or rather let's watch it on TV and our grandma. Someone we to do. We altered it like, okay, we go out this year.
Then the next year we, you know, yeah, luckily I'm very someone that's. And then we were younger. We would go out and do stuff. But yeah, I really feel like a lot of these holiday arguments that could like make or break really as in those arguments will back down to what communication and that's what we're pushing today is, you know, talking about things and I'm sure there are a lot of other arguments that didn't make this.
That you could have. Yeah. I mean, this is a lot of stuff. But we just suggest that you don't talk about today because these every 11.
Yeah. Again, was the most popular breakup day. You know, I mean, it is what it is. You know, if your relationship is already on the rocks or then today, maybe it's not what you're saying.
Today's the day. And sometimes if the relationship is. No, but communicate regardless, right? So, yes, communicate regardless.
Today is a great none of our listeners are going to have any kind of romantic problems today because they know the things that might sneak up that they need to talk about. Don't avoid them. No, no, no, no, no tomorrow. We're going to get up and we're going to start communicating about this.
Okay. Thank you all for listening and in the words of Bob Marley live the life you love and like and like. Bye.