We're waiting at home with Sarah and Janelle. We're getting June started with a good beat here, aren't we? One Republic wants to start again. That's not a bad idea.
Wants to just roll their sleeves up and, hey, let's start over again. So what do you think about that idea? I feel like we have all been there. We have.
Did you have a good time to start over? You know, I'm thinking we're about halfway through the year. Almost. This month is like the sixth month of the year, so it may be time to kind of look back and say, hey, why are we starting over first?
Well, June 5th, so Wednesday, right? It's actually National Start Over Day. No, yeah, Wednesday, Start Over Day. Yeah, so you've got a couple days to think about if there's something you want to start over.
Okay. But I think this is a good topic for us to look into because, you know, sometimes we do things that we think we're going to be successful, and they're just not. And it is okay to start over. Sometimes you just want to, like, not start over.
Right. But sometimes you need to start over. Right. So we've got to kind of start this conversation on our Bring It Home podcast today, kind of defining, like, failure, because obviously somebody has experienced a failure of some sort that makes them feel like they've got to start over.
Well, I'll tell you, you said the year's almost half over. You know, we have to think back to January and those New Year's promises that we made ourselves, those goals that we set for ourselves, we might have to start some of those over for sure. Right. Or maybe you thought by this point in the year things will look a little different, and they don't.
So, you know, when we look at failure, and failure's different to everybody. What you view as failure, I may not. And vice versa. What I see as a failure, you may say, you're good.
That's not a big deal, you know. But oftentimes when we don't complete a task or, like, maybe meet an expectation we have for ourselves, we can feel like we have failed. And that can really play into, you know, how you feel about yourself. Don't you think some people are hard on themselves than other people, though?
Because I think back to, like, school. You know, there are people that if they don't get an A, they are sad. Then there are some people, as long as they pass, hey, they're happy. So, you know, they judge failure differently.
Yes, and I think that kind of goes back to what you value and what's important to you, for sure. And, you know, according to an article I found, it says that adults and children view failure a little differently. I'm sure. So, at the end of the day, however, whatever age you are, failure is discouraging, right?
Oh, yeah. So, some ideas that they share that adults feel like failures. I mean, I think that we can understand this, we are adults. It doesn't feel really bad, especially if it was somebody you really cared about and you forgot their birthday or, you know, something like that.
Right, something you should. You should know, yeah. You know, losing your job. Oh, yeah.
Whether that be being terminated or, you know, downsizing, whatever. But, definitely. Misspending or losing money. Losing money?
Oh, oh. That would make fun for those. That's heartbreaking. Yes, that's a bad one.
Missing an important appointment. Yeah, that's failure. It is. And then breaking a family heirloom, you know.
Oh, these are some. Yeah. So, that's like. Development is bad.
I know, it is. So, you and I are in agreement. If we did any of these, we would feel like we failed or something. So, for our children.
Okay. The idea is a failure that our children may experience. Getting a bad grade. You just said that.
Yes, but my son would have been okay with it. Not my two. Oh, yeah. They're opposites.
They're opposites. Right. Putting off or avoiding chores. I don't know if mine would be that.
He'd be good with that. I don't know if mine would be that until mom and dad got home. Well, yeah. Excuse me.
Right, right. Breaking rules that my parents and guardians. I'm just going to say all through the recipes and not say very much. And, you know, I think it may.
Your child is a lot older, you know, than my kids. Well, I'm thinking back to the younger days. My kids are, you know, I'm not saying they've never broken a rule, but when they kind of deal with it, they do. Honestly, a few weeks ago, my daughter said, I don't like it when you're disappointed in me.
And I'm like, well, then you need to do what we ask you to do, you know. Arguing with a grown-up, bickering with siblings, and not making the team. I think that would speak to your children. Oh, yeah, it would.
It would, yeah. So, again, it's very different from, you know, what children and adults feel like is a failure. But, regardless, a failure is a failure. And, honestly, y'all, failure doesn't mean that that's the end of it, you know?
No, because I'm just thinking about, okay, just thinking about the childhood failures. You know, getting a bad grade on a test, yeah, it's bad, but there will probably be other tests. Hopefully, there will be other tests. You know, breaking the rules that were set, you know, I mean, we've all broken some rules.
Just don't do it again. Follow the rules next time. So, these, we can kind of go back and start over. I agree.
And, you know, for adults, like, okay, I got a bad performance review. Maybe I need to think about my commitment to my job. How can I look at this differently and do better? Or, you know, both of you and I were, like, losing money.
Oh, my gosh. Yeah, we got to deal with that one. Like, what can I do to prevent that? Right, yeah, yeah.
And, honestly, a lot of people will tell you that failure is actually important. We can't be 100% right all the time. No, no. And it's really important for us to learn how to process those disappointments or those failures and how we can make changes to be more effective and efficient in the future.
Maybe be more determined. You know, those kinds of things. Like, just don't be as discouraged. And you might have to really do some looking at yourself.
Well, a couple of things on that list have to do with organization, in my opinion. Yeah. For the adults and the children. Like, if I'm losing money, I need to figure out a better way to keep up with my money.
And, you know, if I'm getting bad grades, maybe I need to figure out a better way to quiz myself, a better note-taking system, you know, something. Right. So, it can actually, failure can actually lead to better success in the future, right? And if you make the changes.
Right. So, starting over, once you have a failure, is really important. So, let's look at some ways to change those failures into success and start over. Oh, yeah.
All right. Because we're doing Wednesday. Right. Wednesday.
This can get you all ready for Wednesday. You know, one thing that's really important is, and you kind of just alluded to this, change your mindset after that failure. Figure out why you failed and how to turn the actual failure into something you can learn from. And when you say change your mindset, sometimes you've got to change the conversation that you have with yourself.
Because we all talk to ourselves, whether it's out loud or not. Mind out loud. But when you address yourself, you know, don't down talk yourself or beat yourself up about the failure. Right.
You know, you have to encourage yourself and, you know, tell yourself that, okay, next time's going to be better. I'm ready for this. I'm preparing myself. You know, I'm going to be ready.
Yeah. And, you know, talk it up. And do whatever it takes to make that happen. Yeah.
Absolutely. So, another one is to remember that failing does not mean that you are a failure. It's like a, it's an action and you've been given an opportunity to, like you just said, fix it and move forward and decide how you can move forward in a positive way. That's true.
And, you know, I have to say this because we teach couples that are going through divorce about how divorce affects their children. And, you know, a lot of people whose relationships don't last feel like failures. Oh, yeah. They feel like failures.
And, you know, many times there are, you know, other situations that lead to marriages not lasting or relationships not lasting. They're not failures. You know, the family, for whatever reason, didn't stay together. The couple didn't.
But you can change it into success by, you know, using the tools to help your child make it through the divorce without having the negative things happen. So, I mean, you know, you just have to take what happens and make it for the best. I'm thinking the lemons to lemonade thing in my head. Oh, that's perfect.
But, I mean, you have to do that. Right. No, I think that's a really good way to kind of break it down. And it is a cliche, but it's true.
You know, another thing to do is to learn your own beliefs about failures. Don't compare what other people think are failures to yourself. You know, and this can be in your family, your friend group. Like, don't compare yourself to other people and what they think that you follow.
Oh, and it's so hard, though, when you've got siblings, you know, and maybe one makes the A's and one doesn't make the A's. Or you've got, you know, a friend group where one makes this salary and one doesn't make that salary. You know, it's difficult. Right.
But you have to really focus on yourself and how you can be successful in the path that you're on. Exactly. Because success is not the same. Like, I may say, I may think that, oh, they're so successful, but I don't know what's going on behind the curtain.
You know? No, you don't. So don't let other people define failure or success for you. That's up to us, right?
Mm-hmm. And then, though, once we've kind of, like, gotten there, like, okay, you've got to be committed to making the steps to achieving success. Yeah. You know, you can't just continue to do the same thing and expect a different result.
Yeah, halfway do it. Right. Right. You've got to really get to a place where you can say, I am going to do this.
And, you know, recognizing those mistakes that you made the first time, when you start over, you know, you can prevent those same mistakes from happening. But you've really got to think about where things went wrong and then work a plan. You know, decide, okay, I can't do this way. That didn't turn out well, so this time I'm going to try it this way.
Right. And it makes you a little more effort on your part. Yeah. And that can be as simple as a conversation that went left.
Yeah, I agree. And so, you know, that may be a failure to you. You had a very important conversation. It did not go well.
So here we are. We want to think about the mistakes in that conversation. Maybe I came across as a know-it-all or maybe I was too aggressive. Yes.
You know, figure out what you did wrong and we're going to take a different approach. Right. Yeah. That's a great point right there.
And finally, I think that we've got to realize that when I start over, I probably need to set some new goals for myself. Again, I can't continue to do the same thing and expect different results. You know, I'm going to, as you have said, do something like self-reflecting and then decide what path I want to take and how I want to correct this and move forward. Yeah, definitely.
And when you say new goals, I'm going back to January again because a lot of people decided to eat differently or that's kind of one of the decisions that's made. Lose weight, be more active. Those are some of the more popular New Year's resolutions. So, and I think that goes perfectly with that one because you may have to self-reflect and think about, okay, now what?
How did I get off the path? Right. You know, maybe I didn't plan my meals or maybe I had too many sweet snacks around or whatever. You've got to kind of troubleshoot.
Yeah. And then, like you said, we can kind of think through it and then, you know, it's easier for us to get on track once we do that. I think you kind of have a real conversation with yourself. Yeah, again, out loud or in your head.
Sometimes it helps if it's out loud. Yeah, and even, you know, find somebody you trust to talk to. Like, you know, this is what I wanted to happen and it didn't. Help me figure this out.
Like, this is what I'm thinking. Do you think that will be a way that I can move forward? And, you know, sometimes we just have to accept that the way that we thought was going to work is not. Right.
You know, but don't feel like you're being stuck in that defeated mindset. We want to start over in a positive mindset and just sometimes you've got to let people go. You've got to let that idea of what you thought was going to be go and set those new goals. Yeah, because timing is off sometimes.
Sometimes it might not be that you won't reach that goal, but it might be that now is not the moment that you're going to reach the goal. So, yeah, I think this is really good to think about because, oh, Wednesday, we've got a lot to do. We're going to take all of our failures. You know, maybe just once.
Oh, I thought we had to make a list of every failure. No. Okay, good. I feel better now.
Most people are probably dealing with something that they wish was different. Yeah. So, hey. That's just one failure.
One at a time. Or even one thing that's maybe, oh, it's just moving at a snail's pace. So maybe I need to reevaluate and start over how I'm attacking this, you know, or even start over with something that I want to change about myself, you know, and it's okay. So we want to give y'all and ourselves permission to start over, y'all, not just on June 5th, but any day.
But if there is really something kind of, you know, hanging on you, think about it. Maybe you wanted to save more money this year and it didn't happen. Now's a good time to look at, okay, where did my money go? Did it go some places that I could kind of pull it back for the second half of the year and not spend so much there?
So it could be anything. It's really good. Okay, well, we have now been introduced to a new holiday, and it's called what? National Start Over Day.
National Start Over Day, okay. Well, we'll do that on Wednesday. Thank you all for joining us for this episode of Bringing It Home. In the words of Mr.
Bob Marley, he could have started over any time he got ready. Yeah, just like us. Yep. He wants you to live the life you love.
And love the life you live. June is here, June is here. See you next week. Bye.